This Holiday Season how should I deal with freeper relatives who...

[Miami Liberal]

will be asking me "why aren't you married yet? Your clock is ticking, tick tock." It happens every year and I know this year will be even worse because I'm turning 30 soon. Being from a Latin family, all of the women have been married by age 23 and I'm just so sick of saying to them "I'm just not ready yet." Anyone have any suggestions on how to shut them up in a polite way? Oh, and most of my family are freepers by the way.

[Downtown Hound]

1. Tell them you think you're gay and freak them out!

Or, you could just tell them that more and more people are waiting until they get older to get married. Tell them that you're just trying to do it right, that you don't want it to end in divorce. That should impress them.

[imax2268]

2. tell them...

that you can't get married because your a lesbian...that should shut them up...

[purduejake]

3. Now it wouldn't!!!

She'd probably be un-invited from the festivities like I once was.

[Sandpiper]

4. Sometimes nice just doesn't work

If you're single by choice, you need to just let them know, "I'm not married because I don't want to be."

[Hamlette]

5. tell them you'd like to but you just don't

attract men and it is very painful when they bring it up all the time about you not being married.

(Did that with my Aunt when I was younger, she never said another word to me about it.)

[purduejake]

6. Just ignore the question and/or change the subject...

or go into a different room in the house. It's unlikely people will follow.

[LiberalEsto]

7. Just say

"why are you so interested in something that does not concern you?"

[Darth_Kitten]

15. Like that....

:thumbsup:

[seabeyond]

8. look at them in digusted puzzlement and say, "how rude"

what business is it of yours. turn and walk away. will get thru all your people fast to leave you alone. they will feel this big. and you have shifted behavior to them, not you

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

27. Yes, Ann Landers and Dear Abbey always told people

that asking people about getting married and having children were the most rudely personal questions that there were and nobody should ever feel they have to answer them. Maybe you could laugh and say, "Don't you think that's a really personal question?"

[Divernan]

9. "I've sworn to remain single until democracy returns to the USA.

I know - that doesn't work, nor would bringing your butchest looking female friend and introducing her as your fiancee - it IS Christmas - time for suffering disfunctional family situations. But to inject a little humor into your situation - rent the original Bridget Jones' diary - she went through the same thing from both her family and her friends she referred to as the "smug marrieds".

[Miami Liberal]

10. Love that movie

I can certainly identify with Bridget.

[Miami Liberal]

11. Thank you for the replies

I will definitely be using one or all of your suggestions.

[agarrett1]

12. Thank them and change the subject

For heaven's sake, folks. They're her family. Don't be rude - don't "freak them out." Accept that they're doing this because they want the best for you, and they think that involves getting married and having children.

Tell them you're still looking, or that it just hasn't worked out yet. Then ask them something, or talk about something different. It's family already - they love you, you love them - try to keep the holidays pleasant.

Drew Garrett

[Darth_Kitten]

14. As a woman in her 30's.....

I would be majorly pissed if somebody said something like that to me, family or not.

If someone used the "your biological clock is ticking" crap, I would clock them. :)

It's NOTB. :)

[Darth_Kitten]

13. Ask them something back.......

"Why haven't you lost 20 lbs?" ;)

"Why haven't you gotten a better paying job?" :)

"What business is it of yours?" :eyes:

"What haven't YOU (fill in the blank). Come on, I need to know or I'll go crazy!!" :silly:

Say something back, it's none of their business, you don't have to explain anything. :)

[Miami Liberal]

18. I like

the 20lbs one. It would hit a nerve with most of the women in my family. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Darth_Kitten]

20. I don't mean to be "mean".....

:) that weight question was just one idea. hehe :evilgrin:

it's just that why should you be forced to answer such a question, a very personal one I may add, about your love life/plans for marriage? Turn the tables on THEM.... :thumbsup: (may I add that I have this knack for getting to people's sore spots?)

Ask them a question that will shut em up quick. ;) Keep me posted. :)

[one_true_leroy]

16. casually, I wouldn't answer..

shug, wrinkle your nose and face, as if to say who the hell cares. if asked seriously, tell them that when you find one person you can live with without getting divorsed or wishing for one, you'll marry. Skip the first marriage and go straight to the second.

my younger sisters have both married and had three kids and a divorce, and i'm still ring-less.

[DonP]

17. My wife and I used to get somwhat the same message

Years ago, when we were first married my MIL used to work a crack into every Sunday family dinner about: "When are you two going to start a family?" We always gave her a polite noncommittal answer about getting a home and settling in first.

After about a year of that, one night when she asked us when we were going to start a family, I stood up, grabbed my wife's hand and said "Mom, you're right. Come on honey let's get started, can we can use her old room upstairs Mom?" True story!

My FIL spit his beer on the table and his shirt front laughing so hard and my MIL shut up about it from that point on.

Our 3 kids are now 31, 28 and 25 years old, so we finally got started.

If you can find a boyfriend to go with you that has a sense of humor and the fortitude, it might work for you too.

Good luck

[Miami Liberal]

19. Thanks for sharing your story

I'm afraid to take a casual boyfriend, they might make him propose to me right then and there.


:crazy:

[cally]

24. Great remedy!!!

My in-laws started asking when we were going to have kids before we lived together or got married. :eyes: We should have tried that one.

For the original poster..I like the idea of saying that you don't attract men as another poster said. That will quiet them.

[lgardengate]

28. Great story and Great idea! Bet the MIL was totaly embarassed

Familys are what drive ya nutts! Love em' but sometimes ya want to strangle them!

[hughee99]

21. Remind the older ones

That their "clock" is ticking too... they love that.

[lgardengate]

29. Evil but funny...I like it.

[Lefty48197]

22. Tell them you've been dating Michael Moore - that should end the marriage

talk.

[wicket]

25. LOL!!!!!

[Arkana]

23. Tell them you're gay

It'll shut them up and it'll give you a little entertainment when they do the "eyes bug out and the hair stands up" thing.

[SmokingJacket]

26. I used to say, "well, I guess i'm picky!"

Having high standards is nothing to be ashamed of. That's what I told them.

In my experience, nothing will shut them up except extreme rudeness, which just creates its own problems.

[MountainLaurel]

30. Why are you asking such a rude question?

Why is it any of your business?