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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 07:13 PM
Original message
Morons.org: Top 10 Most Moronic Stories of 2004
http://web.morons.org/article.jsp?sectionid=1&id=5834

Just when you thought the world couldn't possibly get any dumber, along comes an election year to further squash all hope...

In last year's review I said, "Maybe 2004 will be better, but I'm not betting on it. It is, after all, an election year." Well I hate to say "I told you so." Actually, no, I don't hate to say that. I told you so.
This year was so stupid, in fact, that the dial goes to 11.

11. Having gotten just about as much mileage out of push polls about black babies as he could, Karl Rove's brain child this election season was the now infamous "Swift Boat Veterans for Truth," a teflon-coated organization which leveled dubious, unsubstantiated and outright false claims against Democrat candidate for president John Kerry. Instead of a forum about real issues affecting the lives of real people, the electoral discourse degraded into yet another smear campaign.


10. Nobody in the United States of America had ever seen a woman's breast prior to this year's Superbowl Halftime Show. On the other hand, everyone's been hearing about Viagra™, Cialis™, and Levitra™ since birth. So we shouldn't really have been surprised at the horror and outrage at the 70 or 80 pixels we saw of Janet Jackson's boob when boob Justin Timberlake uncovered it at the end of their song combined with the general indifference to commercials warning us about erections lasting longer than four hours (*wink*) during a violent and often-bloody sport.


9. Speaking of boobs, the coalitions, associations and councils who supposedly "defend marriage" and support "traditional values" didn't bat an eyelash at the well-publicized marriage of Britney Spears to her childhood friend Jason Alexander, which lasted almost a whole weekend. Yeah, homosexuals are the real threat to the "sanctity" of "traditional marriage," guys.


8. Though Jimmy Swaggart is no foe to New Orleans hookers, he does feel a certain passion toward gay men. He told his audience during a sermon that if a gay man looked at him "like that" he would commit a homocide, killing the gay man, then he would "tell God he died," Cain-style. Swaggart later said he was only joking. Ha ha ha!


7. We all heard the warnings before the Iraq war that Saddam Hussein might supply terrorists with weapons to attack the United States. Unsatisfied with progress in that area, we decided to take matters into our own hands, losing 380 tons of explosives that had been secure at the beginning of the war. Though the government and various right-wing apologists initially tried to explain the loss by saying the explosives weren't there when the war began, video footage from a television station in Minnesota quickly put an end to that discussion. Then shortly after that, the "liberal" media put an end to all discussion. We haven't heard about those 380 tons of explosives since. And presumably we haven't seen them either. ( Or did we?)


6. What could be more controversial than the suggestion that a Christian denomination might consider allowing gays and people of color attend its worship services? CBS and NBC couldn't think of anything more shocking and refused to air advertisements from the United Church of Christ. The ads in question depicted bouncers outside a church turning away various undesirables with the tagline, "Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we." Though they refused to air the spots, we hear plans are underway for a shocking new reality show, "Queer Eye for the Jesus Guy."


5. Seeking to boost rolls at protestant churches, Colorado Springs Catholic Bishop Michael Sheridan ordered all Catholics under his command to vote his way or be denied the sacraments. Though he didn't come right out and say it, the clear message was that a vote for John Kerry was a vote for your own eternal damnation. No word on whether Catholic priests who molest children would be denied communion.


4. Undeterred by the requirements imposed by science as to what constitutes a true scientific theory, and unconcerned about diluting their own religious beliefs down into almost nothing, this year we saw a push for http://web.morons.org/article.jsp?id=5713">teaching the myth of "Intelligent Design" as though it were a legitimate scientific theory on the origin of life. "Intelligent Design," could also be known as "Creationism-Lite," for it's essentially creationism where the part of "God" is played by one "I.M. Designer." The myth seems to be spreading although not without resistance.


3. Though recovering drug addict Rush Limbaugh said they were just "blowing off steam," most sane, rational Americans were appalled by the wanton abuse of Iraqi prisoners. Unlike the story of 380 tons of explosives going missing (see above), this story won't go away so easily, with new allegations of abuse surfacing periodically.


2. "Liberal Media" giant Sinclair, desperate to show us its "liberal" bias refused to air an episode of Nightline, deciding that its tribute to fallen military personnel was a liberal political stunt. One of the most dull episodes of Nightline ever, that night the names of the then-only-523 killed troops were read. Later in the year, liberal elite Sinclair Media http://web.morons.org/article.jsp?id=5638">ordered its stations to air an anti-Kerry propaganda film just nights before the election, though it later backed off one notch, electing to air a "documentary" about election propaganda instead, which drew heavily on an anti-Kerry propaganda film.


1. US President George W Bush dropped all pretenses of being something other than a religious fundamentalist and called for a Constitutional amendment against gays. The proposed Federal Marriage Amendment, which if passed would have become the only standing amendment to limit the freedom of citizens (rather than to guarantee it), ultimately died in Congress. The "uniter, not a divider" President won't be deterred by inability to get the House and Senate, both of which are controlled by his own party, to pass a proposed admendment, and he's promised to make this a priority during his second term. Who is this man uniting, anyway?

Normally this is where I say something optimistic like "maybe next year will be better," but I think we all know it won't be. The reality is that we're doomed. Doomed!

Happy holidays, and happy new year!

---Nick

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Anakin Skywalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. I Love Reading about
Conservative morons! Thanks for posting.
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AmandaRuth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 07:49 PM
Response to Original message
2. kick
and nominated for front page.
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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Is it bad etiquette to kick my own post?
Edited on Mon Dec-27-04 09:52 PM by Synnical
I didn't write the piece. . .
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PROGRESSIVE1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
4. kick
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Nadienne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 10:25 PM
Response to Original message
5. 380 tons of explosives...
that's news to me... Where was I? When did this happen?
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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. NY Times Archives
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F3071FF63D590C768EDDA90994DC404482

ABSTRACT - Iraqi interim government warns US and international nuclear inspectors that nearly 380 tons of powerful conventional explosives, mainly HMX and RDX, are missing from former military installation at Al Qaqaa, 30 miles south of Baghdad; facility was supposed to be under American military control but is now a no man's land, still picked over by looters; White House and Pentagon officials acknowledge that explosives vanished sometime after American-led invasion; are unable to explain why they were not safeguarded, beyond fact that occupation force was overwhelemed by amount of munitions they found in Iraq; American weapons experts say immediate concern is that explosives could be used in major bombing attacks against American or Iraqi forces; International Atomic Energy Agency warned of danger of these explosives before war because they could be used to trigger nuclear weapons as well as to demolish building and make missile warheads; photos (M)


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robbedvoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Big news right before the election. Until OBL wiped it off headlines.
Nader was outraged at the time - that both parties talk about Iraq instead of....jobs?
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Nadienne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 11:32 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Right before the elections...
that explains why I was so out of the loop... I was moving and starting a new job at the time.
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Synnical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-27-04 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. CNN: Tons of Iraq explosives missing
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/10/25/iraq.explosives/index.html

Tons of Iraq explosives missing
'Massive' facility also held large caches of artillery
Monday, October 25, 2004 Posted: 8:52 PM EDT (0052 GMT)


(CNN) -- Some 380 tons of explosives powerful enough to detonate nuclear warheads are missing from a former Iraqi military facility that was supposed to be under American control, the U.N.'s nuclear watchdog agency says.

Melissa Fleming, spokeswoman for the International Atomic Energy Agency, said the interim Iraqi government reported to the agency several days ago in a letter that the explosives were missing from the Al Qaqaa complex south of Baghdad.

The explosives -- considered powerful enough to demolish buildings or detonate nuclear warheads -- were under IAEA control until the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in March 2003. IAEA workers left the country before the fighting began.

"Our immediate concern is that if the explosives did fall into the wrong hands, they could be used to commit terrorist acts and some of the bombings that we've seen," Fleming said.

She described Al Qaqaa as "massive" and said it is one of the most well-known storage sites. Besides the explosives, it also held large caches of artillery.

Fleming said the IAEA, which is based in Vienna, Austria, did not know whether some of the explosives may have been used in past attacks.

Deputy State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said the multinational force in Iraq and the Bush administration's Iraq Survey Group had been ordered to investigate the disappearance of the explosives.

The news followed an IAEA report earlier this month that said high-end, dual-use machinery that could be used in a nuclear weapons program was missing from Iraq's nuclear facilities. (Full story)

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said President Bush wants to determine what went wrong.

McClellan, talking to reporters on Air Force One, said the storage site was the responsibility of the interim Iraqi government, not the United States, as of the June 28 transfer of power.

McClellan said the Iraqi government reported the missing weaponry to the IAEA in a letter dated October 10, and the IAEA informed the U.S. mission in Vienna on October 15. National security adviser Condoleezza Rice was told a few days later, then informed the president.

The Iraqi letter said the material disappeared "due to lack of security" of government installations during the looting that followed the fall of dictator Saddam Hussein's regime in April 2003.

The IAEA said that before the war it inspected the Al Qaqaa facility multiple times and verified that the material was present in January 2003. The agency said the material was mentioned in reports to the U.N. Security Council that were made public.

Ereli said coalition forces searched 32 bunkers and 87 other buildings at the Al Qaqaa facility after the war for weapons of mass destruction. The troops found none, but did see indications of looting, he said. Bush declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq on May 1, 2003.

"Some explosive material at the time was discovered, although none of it carried IAEA seals, and this discovery was reported to coalition forces for removal of the material," Ereli said.

Ereli said coalition forces have cleared 10,033 weapons caches and destroyed 243,000 tons of munitions. Another 162,898 tons of munitions are at secure locations and awaiting destruction, he said.

A senior administration official played down the importance of the missing explosives, describing them as dangerous material but "stuff you can buy anywhere."

The official noted that the administration did not see this necessarily as a "proliferation risk."

"In the grand scheme -- and on a grand scale -- there are hundreds of tons of weapons, munitions, artillery, explosives that are unaccounted for in Iraq," the official said.

"And like the Pentagon has said, there is really no way the U.S. military could safeguard all of these weapons depots or find all of these missing materials."

The official said the Iraq Survey Group concluded that Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction and documented the scope of the problem.

Threat from terrorists
A European diplomat told The New York Times that Mohamed ElBaradei, director general of the IAEA, is "extremely concerned" about the potentially "devastating consequences" of the vanished stockpile.

"The immediate danger" of the lost stockpiles is its potential use by insurgents to make small, but powerful, bombs, an expert told the Times. The expert said the explosives could be transported easily across the Middle East.

According to the Times, the stockpiles missing from Al Qaqaa are the strongest and fastest in common use by militaries around the globe.

The Iraqi letter to the IAEA identified the vanished explosives as containing 194.7 metric tons of HMX, or "high melting point explosive," 141.2 metric tons of RDX, or "rapid detonation explosive," among other designations, and 5.8 metric tons of PETN, or "pentaerythritol tetranitrate."

Fleming said the IAEA, whose mission is to keep track of everything with potential nuclear weapons applications, had been monitoring about 100 sites in Iraq, but there were only a few of special concern, including Al Qaqaa.

"This is a real massive quantity of explosives that could have reached the hands of insurgents and could be used with deadly force and consequences against people in Iraq," Fleming said.

"One would have to assume it's been stolen by someone who has some sort of nefarious purpose for it."

Political fallout
With the U.S. presidential election eight days away, Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry seized on the information.

"If President Bush can't recognize his failures in Iraq -- which he doesn't admit, won't acknowledge -- you can't fix them. And then he's doomed to repeat the same mistakes elsewhere," Kerry said. (Full story)

The Bush campaign responded in kind.

"John Kerry has no vision for fighting and winning the war on terror, so he is basing his attack on the headlines he wakes up to each day," said Bush-Cheney campaign spokesman Steve Schmidt.

CNN's Suzanne Malveaux and Elise Labott contributed to this report.

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Moderator DU Moderator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-28-04 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #8
11. Synnical
Per DU copyright rules
please post only four
paragraphs from the
copyrighted news source.


Thank you.

DU Moderator
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Shadowen Donating Member (742 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-28-04 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
10. Morons.org:
The best political site on the web. I'm sorry, DUers, but it's true. I still love you, though.
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