What is to become of all the orphans that are sure to surface?

[HEyHEY]

Anyone?

[musette_sf]

1. 3 each on the doorstep

of every anti-choice fundie.

I say this not to be callous, but I remain convinced that one of the top reasons why the fundies are anti-choice, is because choice cuts down on the number of adorable perfect white infants available for adoption.

Let's see them put their money, love, time, etc, where their big mouths are.

[crimson333]

2. I must be the exception

because I know 5 southern baptist families who have adopted korean and chinese children

but your right there are more that need to put up or shut up

[China_cat]

3. As infants, right?

Have they taken in any of the mixed race, disabled, older or otherwise 'unadoptable' children here in THIS country? Any of the ones they want to make sure get born and then discarded?

[Walt Starr]

8. I'm planning on adopting from China

no way will I even consider adopting a child in the U.S. I won't put my wife through the anguish of endless court cases five years after the fact which will ultimately end with the child being ripped from our home.

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Oh, Walt that is so wonderful

...God bless you and the missus and the new little Starr. I think it is wonderful that you looked abroad to adopt.

[Piperay]

34. I have a friend who adopted two

baby girls from China, even though she loves them she has had a difficult time of it because they have had lots of emotional & behavioral problems.

Good for you and best of luck when you proceed. :thumbsup:

[LibertyLover]

40. China

That's wonderful. The best of luck to you and your wife. My husband and I adopted a little girl from China last year for similar reasons.

[nostamj]

41. good luck and blessings on you

I know a couple (good friends of my sister and her husband) who adopted a toddler from a russin orphanage. it was a long, difficult and very expensive process for them. but, they have the boy now and wouldn't have done less than was needed to rescue him.

[crimson333]

10. I was only friends with two of the 5

but the boy was adopted as a baby, and the girl was 5, other than that I don't know the answer to the rest.

[StoryTeller]

12. Do you know what you are talking about?

My parents are very conservative, evangelical, pro-life, caucasian Christians. After giving birth to me and then my younger brother, they chose to adopt the following children... MY SIBLINGS.

1) An eight-day old girl with Down's Syndrome whose birth parents abandoned her in the hospital and returned home and told their friends that she had been stillborn. This child lived one year before dying of complications due to a heart defect.

2) About two years later, a three-month old boy whose birth mother was an alcoholic and mentally ill, who had three other children removed from her because of abuse, and who didn't arrive at the hospital until her baby son had been breech delivered up to his head. Due to her walking about, his spinal cord was damaged, and he became a paraplegic. When my parents took him, he'd spent his entire life in the hospital and was not expected to ever be able to walk, feed himself, talk, or learn. They spent the next THREE years foster-caring for him while the courts decided whether or not to terminate the birth father's rights, not knowing if he would be eventually taken from them or not. He DID learn to walk with crutches, speak, feed himself, learn, etc. But when he was about 10, he was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, which causes behavioral and learning issues. My parents have suffered the heartbreak of him rejecting the family as a teenager and refusing to have contact with anyone, and the last we heard he is on drugs and has other problems. Though he has managed to keep his job at Wal-mart...

3) And then there's the youngest. She, too, has Down's Syndrome. Her birth family had several teenagers, toddler twins, and some other difficulties and felt they couldn't take on a special needs child. My parents took her, and she's been a joy and a real gift to our family. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few years ago, which was hard, but the medicine and therapy helps.

My family would have been glad to take in any other children -- special needs, other races, any. However, in our state, at that time, interracial domestic adoption was frowned upon. Some of my parents' best friends did foster care and adopted older children, and would have adopted an African American child, only they weren't allowed to do so. They, too, are a very conservative Christian family. Another couple they are friends with has had over 50 foster children over a 20-some year time frame and adopted an older boy who also has FAS. That family was more conservative than mine.

There are many people I have known over the years from very conservative and Christian backgrounds who have adopted or fostered children of every age, race, and special condition. My husband and I put our own birth plans on hold in order to adopt first from China, and we plan to do another adoption from there, and we will be requesting a toddler. Another conservative Christian family I know adopted a sibling group from Viet Nam, where the oldest child in the group was 8.

Of all the Christians I've met who have an interest in adoption, NONE of them have ever expressed the desire to have "a perfect white baby." Most people who want to adopt babies have that desire because they are unable to give birth and want the experience of having a baby. I can understand that. Some who want caucasian babies act more out of a mistaken impression that they will feel more bonded to the baby if it looks more like themselves. That may be ignorance, but it isn't racism.

I don't mean to come across as angry or defensive. And I do agree that far too many "pro-life" people are not very concerned about what happens to the children after they are born. But it bothered me greatly that someone would make blanket statements about conservatives or Christians being unwilling to take older or special needs children or children of a different race. It simply isn't true. There are a lot of very loving people out there who are also conservative. Their politics don't match their actions, and while that seems bizarre to me, I have to defend the oftentimes courageous love that many of them have shown to children.

[China_cat]

14. Your parents are the 1 out of 10,000.

Look at the record and you'll see just how dismal it is.

[StoryTeller]

20. Well, they are pretty special...

But I don't think the record is quite as dismal as you view it. However, if you are that concerned, I would encourage you to become another 1 in 10,000 and open your home to a child -- if you haven't already. These children need more concerned individuals willing to become adoptive parents.

Here's a link for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

http://www.davethomasfoundationforadoption.org/index.asp

They are dedicated to helping children just like what you were describing find permanent families. In fact, the following statistic should encourage you: (from their website)

"Foster care adoptions grew from 31,004 in 1998 to 48,680 in 2000 (a 57% increase!). The average stay in foster care dropped from 43 months in 1998 to 39 months in 2000."

Their website also has a press release from last year saying that 3000 children were adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day. In just one day!

[China_cat]

37. I'm ineligible to adopt or foster

due to my health. But I do volunteer time to spend with kids teaching them crafts, helping with homework, being an unofficial big sister (health keeps me out of that program, too) and co-ordinating Girl Scout programs for foster and shelter girls.

[StoryTeller]

42. That's good to hear.

You would be amazed to know the number of times a person has expressed similar concerns to yours only to backpedal when I suggest they be part of the solution instead of just complaining about it. I know those children's lives will be positively influenced by the time you spend with them. Thanks. :)

[China_cat]

46. I miss being a 'rocker', though.

I used to rock babies at the hospital who had nobody else to do it until I could no longer safely hold them. I miss it.

[Boosterman]

13. My mothers church does

I dont know the exact numbers but I was looking at their newsletter and the pictures I saw of 3 kids recently adopted through their work were all in the 6-12 range. All from overseas.

[China_cat]

15. All from overseas.

When there are kids in that same age range in THIS country that desperately need homes and people that they can call their own.

It's the same with doctors and hospitals that will fly in kids from all over the world to give medical treatment that they deny the kid who lives down the street.

It isn't that I don't sympathize with these kids in other places. Or the ones that just lost their families. But I see the look on the faces of kids here...the same look you see on the faces of dogs at the shelter; "pick me, please pick me".

And the sad part is that the dog will go home with a family sooner than the majority of these kids will.

[Boosterman]

16. Yeah thats true

Darned if ya do and darned if ya dont.

[quaoar]

18. I don't think you get it

My wife and I adopted a boy from Cambodia. We didn't even consider trying to do a domestic adoption because of the potential for disaster.

If you go through the state to get a child whose biological parents' rights have been severed, you either get on a very long waiting list for an infant or you take an older child who is up for adoption because of severe abuse/neglect.

If you arrange a private adoption, you end up paying all the expenses of a woman while she is pregnant and in the end you have to hold your breath to make sure she doesn't change her mind at the last minute after you've already picked out a name and decorated the child's room.

No thanks.

[REP]

38. Many Couples Prefer Foreign Adoptions

The mothers are unlikely to fight for custody of their children due to financial and language barriers, even if they were coerced into signing papers relinquishing custody.

[quaoar]

44. Yes, that must be what it is

We're all just trying to steal children from the arms of their screaming mothers. We're such cruel beasts.

[REP]

49. Not You, But Plenty of Child Brokers Are

There are many, many dishonest child brokers out there who prey upon poor women and desperate couples. You yourself did say you did not want to wait or take a chance with a woman who changed her mind; you must realize it is not an easy thing to give up a child to strangers, no matter how well those strangers mean. Because US law lets mothers decide to keep their children, many find adopting outside the country reduces the risk of revocation of consent.

There are numerous documented cases of children being taken from their mothers without the mothers consent (or the mothers being forced into consenting) and then being given in adoption to foreign couples, especially in Romania and Cambodia. The foreign couples almost always knew nothing nothing about the lack of consent or forced consent.

[DemBones DemBones]

25. You don't claim to have adopted any special needs children but

you're accusing others of not caring. Where's the logic?

When a poster tells you stories of several conservative Christian families she knows well, all of whom adopted special needs children, you responded that her parents were "1 in 10,000."

:crazy:

[Valerie5555]

27. Wonder if anyone knew that to be sure SPCA and rescue group kitties as in

KITTENS as well as CATS may also have that same "pick me," no, "pick me" way about them, and I am sure the cats and especially the KITTENS would be adopted out sooner too.

[LibDemAlways]

50. Anyone who adopts needs to do so

for the right reasons - providing a loving home and family for a child. I have a repuke cousin who adopted a baby girl from China because she thought she was doing her a big favor. I visited when the girl was three and repeatedly heard my cousin threaten to send her back to China whenever she misbehaved. Not a warm and fuzzy place for a little girl, abandoned once, to end up.

[Inland]

4. I heard the sad news that children make up a large proportion of dead

something about children running to the shore as the water receded to pick up the beached fish, then being caught in the wave.

[HeeBGBz]

5. I saw something on CNN with a bunch of orphans - newly made

There will be many.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

6. In traditional societies, orphans usually go to their nearest relatives

The ones who have lost all their relatives will go to orphanages, if they're lucky, and to the streets, if they're not.

[Bluebear]

7. I'd love to help, but of course gays can't adopt here

Better these kids stay in some huge impersonal home.

[SmokingJacket]

48. What state are you in?

I know lots of gays in NY and CA who've adopted.

[WebeBlue]

9. Good question...what will become of the living children

who have lost entire families? Not sure there would be enough "relatives" to take them all in, but then there will be surviving adults who lost children. I'm sure the aid agencies are considering what can be done, and it is a good question to ask..hmmm.

[CHIMO]

17. Good Question

How many are you going to take into your home?

[HEyHEY]

22. There's NO way in hell anyone would put a child in my care

I'm 25, single and poor.

[CHIMO]

26. Used To Be 25

At one time.
Still poor.
Not much to show for all the years. Just think of the change in outlook, lifestyle and mobility if you adopted. If you don't take it on, then who will?
After another 25 years you would have something to refer to as an accomplishment.

[HEyHEY]

29. Well, I also have previous planned engagements that would

Prohibit that.
I plan to have very much to show for my life in 25 years. So I'm not too concerned.

However, I think you could maybe be in a good position.

[CHIMO]

30. Great

But don't keep putting your plans off.

Good luck. Hope your plans work out.
But if you don't do it then who will.?

Maybe you are hoping that Mother Teresa comes back?

Otherwise who will help.

[HEyHEY]

33. My plans

Involve putting myself in sufficent danger. I wouldn't want a child to lose two parents in one lifetime should something happen to me.

[SuffragetteSal]

47. I adopted a hard to place child locally

when I was 23 years old. He is now 30 years old, married, happy and doing well.

[arwalden]

36. For Me... Zero. Everyone Should Do What They CAN Do...

... it's a bit of a cheap shot for someone judge another person for the things that they *can't* do. Wouldn't you agree?

A question for you, Chimo. How would someone's lacking the ability or means to make such a heroic gesture (like the one you suggested) be a reflection of a lack of sincerity when it comes to their worry and concern over the young victims of this tragedy??

-- Allen

[Pithy Cherub]

19. On a television program they mentioned many calls

were being made with inquiries to adoption. The host said those calls are encouraged. They are taking pictures of all the children and making attempts to find family. I believe it was the international host of cnn.

[Bouncy Ball]

21. I can't help but wonder about Iraqi orphans as well.

I've been wondering about them for a long time, but now we have orphans who might have had their ENTIRE family (including distant relatives) wiped out.

:cry:

[Valerie5555]

28. Especially in places LIKE FALLUJAH with the dead corpses being EATEN

by DOGS.

:puke: :puke:

[StoryTeller]

23. A starting place for adoption info...

I put this in another post that was similar, but that thread didn't last too long. I hope it's okay to repost here.

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country...

This page has an alphabetized list of links to description of all the countries that have adoption programs. Sri Lanka is there, as is Thailand. You'd have to check on any others. This information will tell you if a certain country even allows foreign adoptions and what the requirements and procedures are.

However, just be aware that in catastrophes like this there are normally many, many families willing to adopt one of the orphans. And usually the country involved doesn't have a system in place to respond to the number of requests. Plus they are normally reluctant to place the children internationally, which is understandable. These children have already lost their parents, their homes, and everything else familiar to them. It would be extremely difficult for them to lose their country and language as well. And it would be a double loss to the country to have the death of the parents followed by the mass exit of the children. Often, other citizens of that country or the childrens' relatives are very willing to adopt the children who need families. That's probably the best-case scenario for all.

My husband and I have adopted a child from China, so I'm definitely an advocate of international adoption. However, because I know the process, I also know that it can easily become chaotic and corrupted. Plus, even though the would-be adoptive parents have the best and highest intentions, every adoption and especially international ones, involve a great amount of loss to the child. That has to be weighed against the situation and future outlook of that child's life without a family. You also have to consider whether or not you are prepared to handle the issues that invariably come with an adoption, compounded by cultural and language differences and emotional trauma caused by the tragedy. It's a life-changing decision.

However, even if you can't adopt one of these orphaned children, I think it's a good reminder that there are many, many orphans all over the world tonight who dream of having a family. And if you are able to become that family for even one of them, then at least some good will have come of this horrible disaster.

Peace.

[Cogito ergo doleo]

24. Heard in a report today that terrorists have $ and offer support

to people without jobs, and orphans. This was one of the many reasons it was so important for a quick and generous response.

[SemperEadem]

31. they'll be turned into sex slaves for visiting male Westerners

[JI7]

39. Bill O'Reilly and Neil Bush

[JVS]

32. Damnit HEyHEY

It just isn't fair!

[myvotedidntcount]

35. I would gladly adopt..

My husband and I would very much love to adopt an orphan. We've looked into the possibility of adoption for two reasons - 1 - I think the world is overpopulated and don't think it's necessary for me to "bear" one more child when there are millions already born that need homes and 2 - I'm in my mid 30s and my doctor doesn't advise me having children with my health and age. I've always felt drawn to children who need loving homes. But quite honestly, they would never chose us because we don't own our own home and we don't have the $30,000+ it costs to adopt. I've always thought it was insane how just anyone can pop kids out left and right and not take care of them, but those of us who truly want a child have to jump through hoops to adopt. We would be the most loving family a child could ask for - yet we're looked over because we aren't wealthy. It's not a matter of whether we could provide for a child - the way I see it, the child is the priority. If I had to take a second, or third job - so be it. A child needs a loving, caring and secure home - not necessarily a wealthy one.

[StoryTeller]

43. It doesn't have to cost that much.

There are several international adoption programs where your total, including travel, would be somewhere around $15-17K. Yes, there are hoops to jump through, but if you are working with a good agency, they make the process as simple to understand as possible and provide good support the entire way. You don't have to own your own home. You just need to show a case worker, or whoever does your homestudy, that your home/apartment is safe and has sufficient room for a child. If you and your husband are over 30, you would be good candidates for China -- they require parents to be at least 30, and they have a lot of respect for "older" parents. (Quotes are because some adoption programs are weighted to favor younger parents.) If it's something you would like to do, you really should go for it. It's an amazing journey. Not always easy, but that could be said for parenting in general.

[DownNotOut]

45. Its to g-d damn bad

that adoption is such a difficult, confusing and EXPENSIVE proposition. No matter how much compassion I might have for these kids, my hands are tied. Id consider taking in one if it wasn't a legal and financial nighmare... As if committing to raising someone elses child wasnt enough... you have to get thrown over a barrel and beat about the hands and feet to be granted to 'privaledge' to do so.


DownNotOut