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"Fundamentalists United Caring Kingdom, Yahweh Or Unsaved"...The Crusade

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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:25 PM
Original message
"Fundamentalists United Caring Kingdom, Yahweh Or Unsaved"...The Crusade
Edited on Fri Jan-07-05 07:13 PM by SoCalDem
Here's the plan:

The "Islamists" are secretly pining away to BE Christians. Falwell and Robertson have both said so, and one of them just recently announced that GOD actually told him that the "mooslims" would be turning Christian in droves, in 2005.

Time's a'wasting and there's some heavy lifting to be done. Christian fundamentalists here and all over the world are very antsy these days as they open the windows of their "Rapture-Advent Calendar", and I think the time has come for them to get with the program.

Perhaps we could start a fund raising website to help them with their crusade. Frankly, they ALL pretty much need to start packing those shrouds,guns (gotta hunt, ya know),Toby Keith CDs,"W" bumperstickers, boots & stetsons. There are heathens by the millions, just waiting to be "saved", and our dear friends, the fundamentalists are duty-bound to save those souls.

We'll stay here, because someone's gotta pay the taxes to run this place, but the fundies who have pared back their tax burden to almost nothing, now HAVE that extra money for their "mission", and we will gladly see them off at the docks and airports.We should be prepared to help them though, so they can have a "successful mission"..

Perhaps we could call the website:

"Fundamentalists United Caring Kingdom, Yahweh Or Unsaved"

It's their DUTY to "save mankind" by converting all those desperate-for-salvation 'folks' over "there".. We all know how dedicated these people are, and how willing they are to fight, if necessary, so they are the logical ones to do this. These folks also have a sublime grasp on history, and love to re-enact historical events. They cherish "heritage", and even have a foundation dedicated to it, as proof of their zeal..

They are our only hope now, and we should help them, Americans, Australians, British, German...all of them coming together, descending on the middle east, to do God's work would be a joy to behold. They could finally lift the veil of victim-hood, and step out into the light. For years the "librul" media has demeaned them, and they could get no commanding positions in government.They have had to settle for control of the newspapers, radio, television, cable, the presidency, the senate,the regulatory agencies, the house and the supreme court. This could be their bright and shining moment when people could , at last, see them as a movement (although some HAVE compared them to "a movement"), worthy of such a monumental task.

Since they are so eager to mix it up in the middle east, it would also give many of the soldiers, whom they love and support so much, a breather and a chance to return to the families THEY left behind.

No one wants to be "Left Behind", but I am sure that the non-fundamentalists would gladly bear the burden of keeping the home fires burning while these Glorious God-Warriors are away saving souls.

I will put a candle in the window, in a show of solidarity..


Onward, Christian Soldiers....Let's Roll !
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. This is funny!
Especially the name of the organization!

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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Thanks
:loveya:
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Kingshakabobo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. Great Idea!
I have a suggestion.
Before they leave, the should have their necks tattooed with a dotted line and the words: "cut along this line"
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:39 PM
Response to Original message
4. It'd be hard to remain behind on such an important mission
but I'm happy to do my part :thumbsup:
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 06:44 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Me too.. Hell.. we could even have a "Bible-Drive"
Edited on Fri Jan-07-05 07:09 PM by SoCalDem
Clear channel stations could have statewide rallies so we could collect bibles translated into "Islamic" for them ...Maybe Paul Bremer could do the translations.. he "single-handedly" saved Baghdad.:)

The president even gave him a medal:)
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SlavesandBulldozers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. kick
:kick:

i can't add anything to that post. it covers everything. well said.
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Thanks..
I love satire :)
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Taxloss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 07:08 PM
Response to Original message
7. And so it is begun
I, for one, salute those heading off to die spread the word.
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InvisibleBallots Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 07:37 PM
Response to Original message
9. Fundamentalists United Caring Kingdom, Yahweh Or Unsaved = Fuck You
Ha ha ha ha wow you are clever!
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-08-05 02:17 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. I knew DUers would "figure it out"..
:)
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 08:11 PM
Response to Original message
10. kill em into christianity
is this the same god that took them down in the tsunami for their present beliefs
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jan-07-05 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. There are surely "some" people who will believe that
Edited on Fri Jan-07-05 09:29 PM by SoCalDem
Today there was a crawl on CNN announcing that 66% of people (according to some poll) had prayed for the tsunami victims.. and a few minutes later another crawl said that 4% had THOUGHT about praying for them, but had not yet done so :wtf:
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