Landover Baptists: God Fails to Break His Own Record for Killing

[usregimechange]

Freehold, Iowa - Not since the time of Noah has God used water so effectively to harass sinners and wreak havoc upon those who don't flatter Him with sufficient regularity. As unsaved, impoverished Hindus toiled in beachside shacks on Christmas instead of exchanging expensive gifts from American department stores to celebrate the Baby Jesus' Birthday, the Lord was plotting their horrific, briny demise. True Christians know from the Great Flood that one of God's favorite ways to indiscriminately kill enormous swaths of children is by drowning them and watching them gasp for air and while floating like little discarded Styrofoam cups in the tide. Sometimes, He extends an enormous hand as if He is about to rescue the bobbing tot, only to retract it at the last minute to teach the drowning child a valuable lesson about the ineffable nature of God's love.

Full article: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0105/asia.html

[KG]

1. you know times are bad when satire is so hard to distiguish from reality

[Nimrod]

3. The first time I went to Landover

I thought it was the real McCoy. Seriously, I was reading and becoming more and more amazed at what we've come to, and THEN I saw the little tiny word "satire" at the bottom.

Satirists REALLY have to reach now.

[sam sarrha]

2. where i come from tha isnt satire...

[MountainLaurel]

4. Yep

Grew up with people just like that. Luckily, I'm now living in an urban area and don't get much exposure to Christian hate, but still it's real hard to distinguish satire when you have experience with people whose beliefs are parallel to the satire.