Dear Mr/Ms MSM Pundit,

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

Since losing my last fulltime job several years ago, I have been looking at new careers and have recently become aware of opportunities in paid punditry.

I don't have an actual track record, but as someone who has lied about a lot of things I have quite a bit of pertinent experience. Because you are a well-known industry leader, would you be so kind as to give me a few suggestions about how I can get started in this exciting field?

For instance, who in the Bush administration should I contact about my willingness to sell their policies under the guise of informed commentary? Should I indicate a preference for domestic versus international policy, or would it be better to let them tell me what's available to shill? As an example, I wouldn't want to narrow my chances by offering to flog anti-abortion propaganda if they need is someone to disseminate sophistries about Social Security.

Then again, maybe specializing isn't as good an approach as an all-out desire to deceive the public. What have you found works best for you?

I also have questions about how to negotiate my payoff. I don't want to price myself out of the market, on the other hand I don't want to sell my soul for mere peanuts. Should I go in with a number in mind, or are there predetermined rates for lying in print versus broadcast? Should I mark up whatever they offer in order to cover legal fees in the event that I am caught, or will they factor that in for me?

Can I expect to be paid in an annual lump sum or on a weekly/monthly schedule? (I would prefer the lump sum.) Do they take out taxes, or do I take care of that myself? Also, how do you report this income? Do you indicate the White House or George W. Bush as your employer, or do you enter your payola under gifts and gratuities?

Thank you so much for any help you can offer this fledgling fabricator. I look forward to someday sitting across from you on a television set and spreading some outrageous lies. It would be an honor to share the stage with an equivocator of your caliber!

Sincerely,

SWMBO

[Viva_La_Revolution]

1. That's Great!!

Very funny. Thanks for my first belly laugh of the day!

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

3. Thanks

Happy to provide a good laugh - these days they can be few and far between...

[Kota]

2. This is great. Thanks for the laugh.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

5. As I like to say...

It'd be funny if it weren't true. :)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. Good one!

That deserves to be passed around like the famous "Letter to Dr. Laura"!

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

6. Thanks!

I may send it to a few pundits themselves.

[wicket]

7. Muahahahahahaha!

:thumbsup:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

8. And so many of them deserve a copy of it

:evilgrin: