A letter to the Bush Voters.

[Dark]

Dear Bushbot '04,

Firstly, I am curious to see what kind of conservative are you. It's very simple. Just take this facile test:

How to tell? Well, Here are a few clues to see whether you fit into this group:

If:

-You'd never send your daughter to the Electoral College as you think it's full of brainwashing liberal professors.

AND

-You bought Enron stock right after it crashed, expecting it to rebound quickly.

AND

-You think that Jack Daniels and Jim Beam were really frat buddies of Bush.

Then you are an apathetic voter. Don't vote again. You don't know what you're doing, and could hurt yourself. But,

If:

-You think gays are simultaneously 2% of the population AND control the media, courts, and teletubbies, and are running a secret agenda to turn your sweet fourteen year old daughter into a pregnant islamic terrorist who's going to bomb everything EXCEPT abortion clinics.

AND

-You think that every human life is sacred, as long as it was 'saved by Jeebus'.

AND

-You think that the Bible is the REAL preamble to the constitution, then:

You are a FUNDAMENTALIST VOTER. You are trying to take away my rights because some obscure passage in an ancient tome that allows slavery, stonings, and slaughtering the innocent says that I am an abomination, but am also a loved creature of God formed in his image.
But,

If you believe:

A single mother would be better benefited by having her job shipped overseas so her son's sneakers would cost her $5 less, if she had a job to buy them. (She shouldn't have been a slut and gotten married.)

AND

-Individuals know how to best spend their own money, including the stockholders of Tyco, Enron, and Worldcom.

AND

-Guns don't kill people, taxes do.

Then you are a free market libertarian. You think a blind monkey monkey that eats its own feces could handle our money better than the government, and regarding this administration, I'd say a blind monkey that eats its own feces IS handling our money.

If you agreed with all of them, then seek psychiatric help.

Anyways,

I'm writing to ask you a few things. I think that you and I, as Americans, have lost touch. I mean, how long ago was it that you and I were hand in hand, arm in arm, singing coombaya and 'God Bless America'. After 9/11, we were inseparable. We were working together under a compassionately conservative president drenched in red, white, and blue. Love for America was everywhere. But, sadly, it was also evanescent. What happened?

Oh, yeah. Bush. He did so much to live up to his 'uniter, not a divider' mantra, so much so that his victory only garnered 51% of America's votes. (But it is an improvement from the previous election. At least he technically won this time.) America is now at its most divided since the Vietnam War.

But I realize that America is a metling pot, and your big tent republican ideal has invited several differing groups under this big (circus) tent. So, I want to ask several different questions to each group. But there is one that I must ask all of you.

Why did you vote for Bush?

Seriously. Why?

Free market libertarians, why did you vote for a man who supports corporate welfare and hand outs? How could you vote for a man who openly gifted NO-BID contracts to Halliburton?

That's not free market. Free market is allowing everyone to bid on each and every contract so that you obtain the cheapest labor, and also the widest selection of labor.

Your tax cuts? Kerry already said you could keep them. He said he had realized how bad corporate welfare was, and wanted to fix it.

Also, why do you continually say that government healthcare would be a bureacratic and inefficient nightmare when our own system is already such a mess? ( http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/short/349/8/768 ) Yes, that's right, Canada's system is LESS bureacratic than America's.

Is Canada's system really that bad?

But I also ask you, how can you vote for Bush when he restricts free trade? Remember all those elderly people who went to a foreign country to buy drugs they need to live? Bush wouldn't allow that.

Only Corporations are allowed to conduct business outside of the country to save money, I guess. Doesn't sound very free to me. . .



But now I want to ask the other wing of the right wing. The fundamentalists. Why did you vote for Bush?

Because he's a good christian man? Really, how many of God's rules has he broken?

Thall shalt not kill? (Iraq: 100,000 deaths. 0 conversions to Christianity.)

Thall shalt not steal? (Ken Lay, Tyco, Worldcom. . .)

Thall shalt not lie? (Phantom Weapons of Mass Destruction.)

Thall shalt not covet? (Iraq's oil. Yea I know, it was waged to liberate the Iraqis, 42% of whom aren't even under Coalition control. Oh, no, WMD's. Wait, none were found. Saddam was a bad man! That's it! But, then why did Rumsfeld meet with him? And why did poppy let him off the hook?)

Why hasn't he sold his daughters into slavery yet? (Exodus 21 : 7)

Why hasn't he allowed us to buy the illegal immigrants as slaves? It is a neighboring country (Lev. 25 : 44)

I know Florida has suffered a lot this past year, but the bible does say that we must not eat shellfish (Leviticus 11: 9 - 12; Deuteronomy 14: 9 - 10), so why haven't you called for Jeb or Dubya to ban consuming shrimp?

Why hasn't Bush put every last Iraqi man to death in Fallujah? God said to kill every male in the population if you take a besieged city. (Dt 20 : 13) Or at least the warriors. Shouldn't you be calling the whitehouse right now?

Why hasn't he sold his daughters into slavery yet? (Exodus 21 : 7) I guess no one would want to buy those rebellious and obnoxious olsen twins knockoffs.

But, about Bush's daughters, as rambunctous as they are, it's a good thing that they aren't boys, otherwise, you fundies would have to make Bush stone his children to death. (Dt 21 : 18 - 21)

But they aren't out of the woods yet. Better hope they don't convert to islam or Buddhism or some religion like that. Then Bush would have to stone his entire family (Dt 13 : 6 - 10).

Now, don't try to say that 'God didn't mean it like that', cause then I guess he didn't mean all those ambiguous things he said about homosexuality either.

Oh, and about that activist judge thing overuling the will of the people. I'll tell you what. Well let you overturn Mass. gay marriage ruling if you give us Gore vs. Bush.

Not that it matters, Bush is doing more screwing than a frat guy at a sorority binge drinking contest. And a lot of it is against YOU ( http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12450-2005Jan15.html?sub=AR ) No more amendment.

Oh, and don't try that 'We're christians, and christians vote Repub." We liberals have REAL christians, people who understand the bible is a guide, and that Jesus was about love and generosity, not gay marriage and tax incentives for private businesses.

Oh, and he was a LIBERAL.



Now, the third typ who voted for Bush. The uninformed idiot who made his mind up based on what he read in the comic strips.

Could you just stay home, next time. If you can't provide more than a sound bit as to why you support a candidate, then don't bother voting. Yes, I am telling you to stay home if you don't know what the hell you are doing.

Would you fix a car if you couldn't tell the difference between the dipstick and the tire iron?

No? Well then, dipshit, you shouldn't take part in democracy until you're willing to put forth a little effort to find out why Kerry was called a flip-flopper and George Bush a war criminal.

Go back to your survivor and CSI, and let the MATURE adults discuss intelligent subjects. Do us both conservatives and liberals a favor and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

Sincerely,

Dark

P.S. If you really feel so strongly about the Iraq war, why not join up and get showered with all those flowers Bush is always talking about.

[ZombieNixon]

1. Heh, heh...