Tweety's secret interview with Bush leaked

[Elwood P Dowd]

;) ;)

During one of Bush’s many vacations, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews interviewed the President at his pig farm in Texas. While Bush sat next to his famous brush pile and picked his nose, Matthews asked the President questions on a variety of subjects. Matthews later called it the most intellectually inspiring interview of his career and was deeply saddened to learn the segment wouldn’t be aired - an unexplained equipment malfunction destroyed the tape. While the video mysteriously disappeared, notes with the President’s answers survived. An actor playing one of the ranch hands on the pig farm set has leaked portions of it to the press.


The Economy: I know all about small business growth. I was one.
It’s very important for people to understand, when there is more trade there is more commerce. We’re enjoying sluggish times and not enjoying them very much. We ought to make the pie higher.

Social Security: There are not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me. They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it’s some kind of federal program. I mentioned early on that I recognized there were hurdles, and we’re going to achieve those hurdles.

The environment: I know that fish and human beings can coexist peacefully. It isn’t pollution that is ruining the environment, it is impurities in the air and water that are doing it.

Religion: I think it’s fine as long as it’s Christian prayers. Anything else is Un-American. Our priorities is our faith. I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right.

Families: Families is where our nation finds home, where wings take dream.

The Federal Government: I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them.

Abortion: My pro-life position is I believe there is life. It’s not necessarily based on religion. I think there is a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read- I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do. States should have the right to enact reasonable laws and restrictions particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live.

Education: We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

Hunger: I know how hard it is to put food on your family.

Terrorism: We cannot let terrorist hold our nation hostile, and we cannot let them hold our allies hostile. We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen. When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us vs them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we’re not sure who they are, but we know they’re there. We cannot let terriers and rogue nations hold this nation hostile. In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences.

AIDS: We’re concerned about AIDS inside our White House. Make no mistake about that.

Working With Democrats: This administration is doing everything it can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We’re making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end. I’m hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But, I hope the ambitious realize they’re more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure.

The News Media: I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably reading the news themselves.

National Security: Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.

The War In Iraq: I think war is a dangerous place. This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.

The Energy Crisis: We need an energy bill that encourages consumption. Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.

The Secretary Of Labor: I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified. She is a member of a labor union at one point.

John Kerry: The senator has got to understand if he's going to have...he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road. I think we agree, the past is over.

The Growing Federal Budget: It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

Jobs: Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work.

Freedom: You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will.

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Compiled from the growing list of Bushisms. Feel free to add the latest.