My relative sent this insane e-mail.

[The Zanti Regent]

She's totally brainwashed by the Assemblies of God and she believes the Chimp is Gawd's Hand-picked leader. This is the text of an e-mail relatives forwarded to me.
How do we deal with brain-dead pinheads like this?

"when God wakes you up in the early morning and you believe He has shared something urgent with you, you need to listen and you need to do what is being asked of you. And so I am writing this...please read and pass it on if you feel so led, because this is urgent and it is serious.

Some years ago, there was a commercial on TV where a man was talking about toothpaste (I think it was Colgate, but that is not that important.) Something was thrown from off camera at the man, but you realized, as it failed to hit him, that there was a clear plastic shield in front of him.

The invisible shield that protected him was like the "shield" formed around your teeth when you used their product (so they claimed <g>).

It was called the "Guardol Shield" - the spelling may not be totally correct, but it was pronounced GUARD-ALL.

As crazy as it may seem, I firmly believe in my heart and in my spirit, that God is saying that today especially and for the next few days, we need to pray that a guard-all shield is placed around each American and each coalition soldier in Iraq and especially around each Iraqi citizen who is going to the poll to vote, and that the shield will continue after they have voted.

In short, we are to pray for a shield of protection for every man, woman and child in that country, pray for their safety, regardless of their country of origin. We are to pray that any weapon launched against them or thrown at them will be turned back against the hand of the one who threw it.

Last year, there was a prophecy about the Middle East, which read in part:

"The Lord is not finished in the Middle East. He has set things in motion so that one by one, the nations will turn and fall away from their unholy ways. One by one by one they shall turn. One by one, the unholy ways will change. One by one they shall see new stars over their lands.

"As the Lord said several years ago, darkness will cover the land for a period. But when that which is lost is found, the darkness will be blown away. A river will cleanse the land from the highest mountain to the lowest shore.

"The truth shall be revealed. The people shall rise up and proclaim His name.

"But as the sheep and goats are separated, so too shall be the ones who tell the truth be moved away from those who do not. Those who lie and hate shall be exposed to the world for who they are and that which they bow down to."

[GetTheRightVote]

1. man your relative in is deep trouble, I don't know what you can do though

??????????? plastic shield, man she is gone.

:kick:

[fasttense]

2. She needs to read the rest of the scriptures.

Like Blessed are the peacekeepers. Not blessed are the war makers.

[tridim]

3. Ask her why Gawd doesn't seem to mind that Bush is a liar

and a murderer.

[Kerrytravelers]

4. Does she know my in-laws?

Seriously, don't even bother to respond. Either simply post them here for our enjoyment or just block her email address after sending her an email explaining your reasons for doing such.

Good luck. Aren't nutcases fun?

[mhr]

5. She's A Basket Case - Write Her Off

eom

[donco6]

6. Typical Assembly crap

I had acquaintances in this church (same denom as Jim and Tammy Faye). Their whole lives are led around what they think God is telling them to do - right at that second. Very very impulsive.

[baldguy]

So, Jesus sells toothpaste now?

And we've got to buy it...and send it too Iraq?!?!?

[sportndandy]

7. If Star Wars didn't work, why would a plastic shield?

Is halliburton supplying the shield?

[lectrobyte]

8. If it was one of my relatives, I'd have come back with:

Fuck that prayer shield bullshit, how about bringing them home? If we can't do that, how about some armored HMMV's?
Let's see $40M for the coronation, a few billion for a new presidential helicopter built in France or some place...

Yeah, my relatives don't send me prayer-type e-mail like that too often any more.

[noamnety]

9. That sums up the Bush policies pretty well

Why pay for body armor when praying for a plastic shield is free?

[smbolisnch]

10. I would send her back some pictures.

Perhaps the little girl covered in her family's blood.
Ask her if that happened because she didn't "turn and fall away from her unholy ways"?

[bush_is_wacko]

11. Her prayer sounds like a good one to me...

The outcome of that prayer, however, is something she may not expect.

"But as the sheep and goats are separated, so too shall be the ones who tell the truth be moved away from those who do not. Those who lie and hate shall be exposed to the world for who they are and that which they bow down to."

IMHO, bush is on his way to EXPOSURE and the devil he bows down to is getting anxious to be known!

As far as a shield goes...No need the truth shall set us free. I am willing to risk my life on that assumption!

Tell your friend to read Revelations and the Bible in general thoroughly. The truth I mention is plain as day! Oaths, wars, wealthy vs meek, misleading...it's all there, every "sign" she is waiting for. She just backs the wrong horse!

[flobee1kenobi]

12. I have a better idea

Instead of hoping beyond hope that the Soldiers are protected by some mystic force field, why doesn't her "god appointed" president buy them some REAL armor. Or better yet, pull the troops out and send them home since the original mission-WMD's-was a complete and utter failure.
A Guardol Shield is probably not in the budget anyway.

[alcuno]

13. Send back this Susan B. Anthony quote...

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."

BTW - When your relative says that last year there was a prophecy, who was the prophet?

[The Zanti Regent]

14. I think it was PROFIT, not prophet

we know these Je$u$ folks are in it for the money!

[Tigress DEM]

15. Yeah, the truth will set us free - after the Tribulation.

The thing is, what she doesn't get is that a man who lies to everyone from little camp fire girls (or was it girls and boys club) to senior citizens and average Americans CAN NOT be on God's side any more than Judas was. GW plays his part all right, but he is spreading the darkness, not batting for the team of light.

[mattclearing]

16. What a ridiculous email.

I say let this circulate.

Let God defend you like toothpastes defends your teeth!

It's like saying, "Let God freshen America like Retsyn freshens your breath!"

Totally idiotic.

[autorank]

17. Biological affinity is greatly over-rated. Good grief! What a kook!

These people are quite simply delusional. They are screwing up our country and the whole world. This is another example of the total failure of our education system in this country. I presume this person at least finished high school. What did the person learn? How can you have people in history/civics classes for four years of HS and pop out about 40 million idiots?

[leanin_green]

18. I think her prayer is well placed. . .

and very sincere. I feel we need to look at the fact that she has sincere feelings and beliefs. Instead of labeling her in trouble, perhaps a little more compassion and understanding is in order. And what she said about the "sheep and goats. . .Those who lie and hate shall be exposed to the world. . ." is for the most part correct. However, it may not be the ones that she believes are the perpetrators of the lies and hate that are exposed. Turn her over to her God and pray for her understanding. Show her the true love of Christ by your acceptance and tolerance and in the fullness of time she will come to a better understanding of the Christ she seeks if her heart and intent is true.

[ultraist]

22. I think the prayer abuses religion to justify hate and violence

This seems more appropriate:


Blessed are the Peace Keepers

A Christian Prayer of Confession

Spirit of God, forgive us. For 2000 years, we Christians have failed to live the Gospel message of Jesus Christ.

Instead of sharing with our sisters and brothers, instead of feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and healing the sick; we have stored up treasures and sent the vulnerable, sick, hungry and homeless from our door.

Instead of forgiving , we have sought vengeance retribution, harsh punishment and death. We have asked the state to kill in our name.

Instead of crying out against injustice, we have dominated, discriminated and demeaned; and we have benefited from the economic oppression of our neighbors. Instead of holding your Creation in sacred trust, instead of respecting the inter-connectedness and beauty of our universe; we have wasted and polluted, disrupted the balance, and ignored our responsibility to those who come after us.

Instead of loving our enemies, we have demonized them. Instead of peace, nonviolence and reconciliation; we Christians have unleashed in your name, violent crusades, slavery, the Holocaust, and nuclear war. We have killed through landmines, depleted uranium, bombing runs, smart weapons and economic sanctions.

We confess that we have neglected our prayer life and community building. We have lost our way and are not the people you called us to be. Accept our prayer and restore us. In your mercy, forgive us. Forgive us. Forgive us. Amen.

(By Janet Chisholm, Vice Chair of EPF))

[Lydia Leftcoast]

19. Ask her if she's including weapons aimed at Iraqi civilians BY

American troops. :eyes:

[EC]

20. This isn't prophecy, this is delusional dreaming and irreverance for

the Islam religion.

"Last year, there was a prophecy about the Middle East, which read in part:

"The Lord is not finished in the Middle East. He has set things in motion so that one by one, the nations will turn and fall away from their unholy ways. One by one by one they shall turn. One by one, the unholy ways will change. One by one they shall see new stars over their lands."


And since when have war plans become prophecy?

[ultraist]

21. send her a photo essay

With photos and Bible quote captions, things like this for instance:

A photo of Bush with a quote from her email, "Those who lie and hate shall be exposed to the world." NO WMD

Photos of dead Iraqi children and civilians with the caption: "Thou shalt not kill"