Razorblades in new shoes?!

[BlackRhino]

There was a time you could hitch-hike in this country without having to worry about being propositioned for gay sex every third ride you scored. Nowadays, if they give you a ride, even straight people figure you owe them a blow. There was also a time when kindly old ladies would hand out home-baked goodies to platoons of squealing children wearing identity-obscuring, vision-impairing disguises on dark, crisp Halloween nights. Nowadays, parents ring the doorbells for their fat, lazy children -- sullen and helpless from years on short leashes -- then run online background checks on every would-be treater.

All it takes is one single asshole -- an Ed Kemperer, say, who figures out that hitch-hiking chicks make easy pickings for the resourceful sexual predator, or a James Joseph Smith putting pins in Halloween apples -- to change an entire culture's behavior. Today, yer old pal Jerky fears that we may all be witness to the writing of the latest chapter in that seemingly endless epic: The History of Idiots who Ruin It for Everybody. Somebody is apparently going around stores in Australia sticking razor blades in new shoes. One victim of this "prank" needed 15 stitches to close up her foot after trying on a new shoe at a store in the Australian city of Tamworth. A police search revealed nine more shoes on display with razor blades hidden in them.

Yer old pal Jerky only hopes that there aren't any pathetic, attention-seeking reprobates reading this story right now who are stupid enough to vector the behavior described above into their prospective universes.

[ComerPerro]

1. Interesting story

It will at least convince me that checking shoes before I put my foot in them might not be a bad idea.

[Beetwasher]

2. Anna knew she had to have some new shoes today

and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, "Well, that's every pair of shoes in the place."

"Oh, you must have one more pair ..."

"No, not one more pair...Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want..."

"Get them!"

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoebox. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with seperate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place. Carlo spoke hesitantly, "...Now you see why...they're not fit for humans..."

"Put them on me."

"But..."

"Put them on me!"

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The sreams were incredible.

Anna crawled to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

"I like them."

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, "Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes."

-Steve Martin

[dofus]

3. My first reaction is that this is

another urban legend, despite the apparent specific details. Which isn't to say there aren't some pretty sick people out there.

[Nevernose]

4. One guy in Minnesota, with one needle in a Snickeras

Is not enough for me to worry about my kid trick-or-treating.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/mayhem/needles.htm

Besides Snopes, I've heard that virtually all of the "razor-blades-in-Halloween-candy" stories are urban legends. The few being true were either family-related inceidents ("I thought it would be funny to put a needle in my little sister's candy bar") or attempts at cash settlements/lawsuits.