Hark! Hear Ye! The Governor Speaketh Because He Can (Jeb)

[donsu]

http://www.tampatrib.com/MGAS09LVBKD.html

Soundeth the trumpets!!!! Prepare to grovel in humiliation! Avert thy eyes! The governor in all his majesty, his regalness, his omniscience approaches!

-snip-

But wait! The governor wishes to speaketh. Oh speaketh, My Deity, My Leader, My Wise One.

``I wish to announce a decree.''

I love it when he issues decrees. There was that one a few months ago when His Bushness decreed the Everglades would be paved over to make room for Strip Mall World.

-snip-

``Today I am announcing that I and I alone have defeated, conquered, put to rest forever racial inequality in this state thanks to my brilliant One Florida initiative, which was completely my own idea. And that is why I have ordered my image to be engraved upon Mount Rushmore.''

Wow, that's the cat's meow, My Splendidness. And how, may I ask, did you arrive at this conclusion?

``Numbers, numbers, numbers, my good man. All you need to do is look at the numbers of minority students flooding our state university campuses. Why, I expect a call any moment from Nelson Mandela nominating me for the Nobel Prize.''

Uh, My Petulantness? It appears, by your administration's own figures, that minority enrollments only went from 34 percent last year to 34.3 percent this year. How does a less than 1 percentage point increase qualify you for Martin Luther King status?

-snip-

You're not going to like this, My Wizardness. But while it is true, for example, that the 6,094 black freshmen entering the state university system this fall is a record enrollment number, those same students only account for 16.7 percent of all first-year students.

And that number represents, I'm sorry to say, a one percentage point decline since One Florida was implemented by you in 1999.

-snip-

``Absolutely. You give me enough time, and I'll figure out a way to make a case that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are actually in first place - and they would be, too, if you took away all their losses and the other teams didn't win so much. See? See how easy it is?''
-snip-
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come, vacation in Florida and watch the state crumble.

[Don_G]

1. White Castles Or Taco Bell?

Beer and Pickled eggs?

I'll "vocalize" with the best the RNC has to offer.