A thank you to DU (and a story)

[Neecy]

I want to thank everyone who offered such kind words last week about the death of my sister. Your thoughts and advice were taken to heart.

We've all wondered why Republicans seem so angry these days, despite the fact that they control all of the levers of government. I still don't have an answer to that, but I saw an unfortunate display of this anger last week that makes me wonder if it isn't a form of mass sociopathy, fed and fueled by the media and the religious right.

My sister was an activist Democrat, and after the election I gave her a blue Democratic wristband with the word "Hope" on it. She loved it and never took it off. She died with it on and my brother in law asked the funeral home to leave it on, because he knew what it represented and that she'd want to be buried wearing it.

The visitation and rosary was Thursday night and my family was gratified that there was a huge turnout. My sister died suddenly at a young age of heart failure, so as you can imagine my family was still in a state of shock and grief (and we still are). While we were momentarily pleased that so many came, what we didn't expect was the reaction to that simple blue bracelet.

We were, simply put, swarmed by the Republicans in the crowd (and there were many - I had no idea). They'd spot it and ask my brother-in-law what it was, and then spout off, angrily, despite the fact that he'd just lost his wife. About half an hour into it I stood sort of dazed in the back of the room and all around me I heard rants about Bill Clinton and strangely enough, Al Gore (I guess Gore had given a speech last week - I missed it if it happened). One blonde, middle aged Republican woman (I didn't know who she was) berated and ridiculed my mother after asking if she, too, was a Democrat. This was at the wake of her daughter. It was surreal. Her wake turned into some bizarre Republican rally. The Democrats there knew that it wasn't appropriate and pretty much stayed silent, because starting an argument would have been tacky, and I was certainly in no condition to engage them.

There were a couple of decent Republicans there. At one point, I was standing next to my sister's oldest friend from school and was listening to a group of them right in front of me mocking the wristband. I sort of sadly turned to her - I hadn't seen her in years, since I've lived out of the state for 25 years - and asked if she was a Republican, too. She said she was but then added helpfully, "But I hate George Bush". Maybe that's why she didn't pile on with the rest of them. I heard one Republican friend of my sister tell the one who was hectoring my mother to knock it off, so exactly two of them in the room had decent instincts. That's it - two out of the probably 50 Republicans there.

I couldn't believe that a blue wristband on the arm of a dead woman would engender such a frenzy, or that they couldn't contain themselves even at a wake. This hatred is unnatural. It's dangerous. It makes no sense, unless you assume they simply want to stamp us out and are angry that there aren't legal methods (yet) to do so. It was a sign of the fascism to come, I have no doubt of that. All I can say is - beware and be prepared to defend and protect yourselves. Your own government is encouraging this hatred.

[Sabriel]

1. This makes me want to tattoo "Fuck *ush" on my forehead when I die

Too bad I'm going the cremation route, really.

Thanks for posting this. It needs to be seen.
Nominate for front page.

[Batgirl]

14. unbelievably crass

I have never heard of anything quite so disgraceful. How can the left compete with that? We go into paroxysms of hand-wringing for making rude comments on a message board about Jerry Falwell's hospitalization or Laura Ingraham's cancer...but I bet you couldn't round up 50 liberals in the entire country who would show up in person at a wake and verbally attack the deceased's family for being Republicans.

Unfortunately it's too late for me to volunteer to be a bouncer at your sister's funeral.

[Jackpine Radical]

35. A new profession, necessitated by Pug pugnacity:

Funeral bouncer.

And the liberals say the Pugs aren't doing anything about unemployment in this country!

[Junkdrawer]

72. They've been had and, just under the surface, they know it...

but they just can't bring themselves to acknowledge it - so they react violently to anyone who touches that nerve.

A lot of the returning Iraqi veterans will react the same way, only, in their case, the reaction will be more violent. Most will turn it on themselves, a few will go postal.

Neecy, sorry for your loss. :grouphug:

[Eloriel]

81. Bouncer

You bring up exactly what is wrong with this picture. It's one thing for sociopathic Repugs to act out like this, it's another thing entirely for Democrats to allow it.

Allow it?

yes, allow it.

That never should have happened, IMO. This was abusive, pure and simple, and NO ONE who is grieving should have been subjected to this for longer than about 20 - 30 seconds. SOMEONE in the crowd should have had sense enough to take ANY offender in hand and escort them physically out of the entire building, if they had to call on the Funeral Director and/or police to do so.

WE DEMOCRATS HAVE TO STOP BEING PATSIES, stop allowing this kind of abuse. We're in the trouble we're in PRECISELY because we've rolled over and allowed all sorts of abuse from the bogus Kennedy assassination Warren Report straight on through. Even now, we are not apppropriately and sufficiently standing up to these thugs. Of course, by this time, it's all the harder.

And that's precisely what happens when you DON'T stand up to abuse and boundary violations: they get worse. This is how sexual harrassment on the job happens. It usually starts with a little inappropriate remark here and there, a double entrendre or two, a blue joke. And if the behavior isn't confronted and challenged and STOPPED, it's like a green light for the offender to go ahead and escalate, and escalate he almost always will.

Neecy, I'm so terribly sorry for this horrible experience, and I'm sorry that there weren't more people there who could do the right thing and stop the abuse.

[proud2BlibKansan]

84. I agree

As I read the OP, I was thinking if that was my sister, I would have made a royal fool of myself and asked the asshole freepers to get the fuck out.

Neecy, you have my deepest sympathy. And my admiration for keeping your cool.

[ClassWarrior]

90. I agree too...

I might not have used the f-word, but I would have assured these assholes that I knew their grief wasn't sincere and guided each and every one of them out of the building.

My prayers and condolences, Neecy.

NGU.

[jbnow]

41. "Funny" you said that.

As I was reading the post I was thinking I couldn't imagine this, that one would express or feel any angry reaction about politics at such a time...unless perhaps the arm band said "fuck bush". (Though that still wouldn't excuse arguing with the family about it.)

This makes no sense to me. The only reaction I see this band causing is a sad smile from those who knew what it meant to her.

It wasn't until the last election that I absolutely couldn't understand "the other side"...the split was so much deeper then political. But are they really this different? Maybe just a very repulsive group there?

Just beyond me. If I went to a funeral and the dead had a pro-bush button on I would think they had surely changed their mind now with the clearer vision outside of the body but I would never, ever make a political statement to any family member. And I am not particularly polite.

[HamdenRice]

2. This is a horrible story ...

and if I were a family member, I would have forcefully escorted out of the church the first idiot republican who tried to start a political discussion at your sister's wake.

[Bozita]

3. very sorry about your sister --- even sorrier about those visitors ...

... at her funeral.

Thank you for telling that sad story.

[NoSheep]

4. I'm devastated by your story and I am so very sorry any of your

family and friends had to go through this. I honestly have never heard anything like it in my life and I'm surrounded by idiots. Imagine that they just couldn't manage to control themselves. What a bunch of selfish, wasted human beings. I'll never forget this as long as I live. I truly am in shock. And so sorry you had to experience this. :grouphug:

[RPM]

5. oy!

I like your "mass sociopathy, fed and fueled by the media and the religious right" theory...

Sorry for your loss & having to deal with such classness at what was certainly a trying time.

[Jo March]

6. Oh, Neecy! this is horrible!

Your sister deserved much more respect than some of these folks showed.

If I have a funeral, I am going to ask that a bouncer be present to throw rude folks out.

Peace and love and healing to you, Neecy.

[question everything]

7. My deepest condolences

I just wished that the Democrats did not stay silent, but would turned to them and say (in the old style of the great Joseph Welch): have you no shame? have you no decency? How can you resort to partisan comments in front of the dead woman? If you cannot control your snide remarks, will you please respect the bereaved family and leave?

[stevedeshazer]

8. That's an incredible story

That Republicans can be so blind as to turn your sister's funeral into a hatefest over a blue wristband with the simple word 'hope' is stunning.

Nominating now....

[Betsy Ross]

9. Horrified but not surprised.

Condolences to you, your family, and all the FRIENDS of your sister. Seems we have also lost all sense of propriety along with our democracy. At my M-I-Ls funeral, my S-I-Ls wouldn't speak with my husband, a pretty bad reflection on the deceased. I guess funerals/wakes can bring out the worst in people (especially repukes). Come to think of it, my in-laws are rightests.

[GardeningGal]

10. Unbelievable.

The republican party has really turned into the party of hate.

I congratulate you on being able to keep calm about it. I think I'd have told them if they can't respect the occassion that I would like them to leave. Boy, that wouldn't go over with my family.

[Neecy]

20. I wish now that I had -

But that whole night we were just in a fog of grief, and the only time I could rouse myself to react to it was when I heard the blonde woman hector my mother about it. I started to work my way through the crowd to put a stop to it, and that's when the Republican friend stopped it first. We just weren't in any condition to fight it, and starting a scene (or stopping one they'd started, more correctly) was beyond us at that point.

I was wearing the same wristband, but my sleeve covered it - thank God, they probably would have sacrificed me at the altar during the rosary.

[GardeningGal]

24. I completely understand.

My mom died unexpectedly (she was older and had gotten over some health issues and we thought we had several more years with her) and I can't imagine facing that at her service.

I just worry about my reactions sometimes because I'm normally pretty even tempered and don't let things get to me. But once in awhile, someone pokes a stick just the right way and look out! That's why I said that I congratulate you on keeping your cool.

Now that the service is over, I wish you well in dealing with your grief. I believe she is still around you and I hope you can take comfort in that.

As for those that were disrespectful, if you run into any of them in the future I hope you are able to tell them what you thought of their antics. It won't make any difference, but it will make you feel better to have told them.

[amandae]

11. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister

I'm just disgusted that those "people" from a party that is supposedly all about "family values" would do that to your family in your time of grief and anguish. Repugs can be such vile creatures, thank goodness there were at least two in the crowd who helped put the others in their place, or at the very least, didn't encourage an all out riot.

Even at a funeral they have to find a way to make it all about them, and not about the family who lost a loved one. How disgusting that a bracelet, something your sister loved and would want with her in death, should start such asinine behavior. I'm so sorry your family had to go through that at all, but especially at your sister's visitation. :hug:

[Coventina]

12. Un-fucking-believable. No class, no feeling, no decency

My contempt for these people is beyond words.

:hug:
So sorry for your loss. Love to you and your family.

[caligirl]

13. I wish this could go to a large paper for the opinion page. Let some

repugs take a look at themselves, like the ones profiting from this. NYT or LAT maybe?

[Norquist Nemesis]

15. Neecy, I am so sorry of this disgraceful behavior

At a time when your family most needed the comfort and words of encouragement, they should all be ashamed. It would have been exceptional if one of the Democrats OR either of the Republicans had stood up and said something, though. Asked the crowd, "What if instead of a wristband which she wore displaying the courage of her convictions...what if she were wearing a red, white, and blue elephant? What's wrong with you people?"

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

[beam me up scottie]

16. I am so sorry for your loss.

And for what you and your family had to endure during the wake.

Is this what the future holds for us?
Has hate speech taken the place of common decency?

I will never understand people.

At a wake...

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family,

Linda

[SmokingJacket]

17. So sorry, Neecy...

this has to be one of the strangest stories I've read lately. Very weird and frightening.

A perhaps overly generous interpretation: Maybe these people were suffering from a kind of temporary insanity caused by terror? I mean, people often act strangely at funerals, because death is so hard to deal with. And the sudden death of a young person is very hard to process. Republicans do tend to be fearful people.

I just can't imagine what they were thinking.

[progressivebydesign]

18. I''m so sorry you had to go through that..

.. it's just inconceivable that people would behave that way to a grieving family. There's no excuse for those people.

I, too, have noticed a ramping up of the republican/religious right anger and intimidation. They are on some sort of heady high with recent victories.

I'm so sorry for you. :grouphug:

[Freedom_from_Chains]

19. I am sorry to hear about your loss

"makes me wonder if it isn't a form of mass sociopathy"

No need to wonder, it is.

"There were a couple of decent Republicans"

And there are good Republicans, but the fact is real conservatives left the party years ago. Unfortunately, the majority choose not to fight the rise of the religious zealots within the party and regulate them to the backrooms where they had always been. But to a certain degree it is understandable as they did not want to have their lives and careers destroyed, which is how the religious right deals with opposition.

[xxqqqzme]

21. wow, what a story.

Thank you for sharing it w/ us. Losing a piece of your life is hard. You & your family certainly didn't need the self-centered rethugs messing w/ you.

Stunned and dazed. I had no idea their contempt went so deep. The party of hate has consumed them.

[blm]

22. Oh geez....no family should have to endure that level of irrational hatred

Yes, it IS the media's fault because they NEVER tell the American people the truth about Bush and the GOP and the real reasons behind 9-11.

Imagine if the public KNEW that Bush refused to read the Hart-Rudman Report on Global Terror that was handed to him on Jan.30, 2001 and chose to shelve it?


Most people couldn't even tell you 10% of what was in the 9-11 commission report because the media was working overtime to keep Bush protected from the proof of criminal negligence and criminal incompetence.

I am so sorry that this tsunami of ignorance was swarming you and your family at such a sacred time.

[Patiod]

38. I'm not surprised

If you're listening to hate radio all day, with the likes of Michael Weiner, Hannity, Rush, etc., how else could you possibly behave.

Our local station is WHAT, which I call W-HATE.

Sorry about your sister -- good for you guys for leaving on her blue bracelet. If it were me, I'd be happy to think I was riling up the right wing even at my own funeral!!

[wicket]

23. What a bunch of vile pigs!!!!!

:grr: :grr: :grr: :grr:

[seabeyond]

25. can you love me, even as a democrat, can you love the democrat

that i am. i have often asked the conservative and christians around me. can you love me, the democrat i am. i wish they were able to show they could love all of who your sister is. i am sorry these poeple are so shortsighted. says everything about their character, nothing about your sister. i wish there was just one soul in this room that could look them in the eye, and bring all that your sister was back to these people that love her, so they could remember who she was, all of who she was, so worthy
anyway, blessings and love to your family

[mcar]

26. This is just hideous

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the actions of those selfish, egotistical pigs.

When your grief passes a bit, you might want to consider sending a LTTE, thanking people for their support and sympathy during this difficult time and blasting those Repuke twits for their cruelty. You don't have to name them, they know who they are.

Maybe by publicly "outing" their behavior, you'll cause them to feel shame.

[KaliTracy]

27. I'm sorry about your sister, and about this experience you describe.

It really pains me that anyone would make a funeral into a political forum -- incredibly rude.

But... as for your statement about mass sociopathy (which I think is pretty spot on) -- could it also be... that people are running scared -- let me qualify -- when someone makes a decision - especially an important decision, if information against their choice starts happening, do they suddenly slap their forehead, say "Oops, I must have been wrong" and then change their position? Not usually. The first "human reaction" is defensiveness. A kid cornered for palming some candy, a spouse cornered for not helping around the house, a spouse cornered for spending too much money, a student cornered for not doing his/her homework....etc. And with defensiveness comes anger, of course. :shrug:

[Sparkle]

28. This is totally unbelieveable how some of those "mourners" behaved.

Now if I had attended a wake where the deceased had some button or wrist band that said "Bush/Cheney '04" I would be stunned that the deceased had it on but I think I would have enough class to wait until I was at home or away from the premises to say something about it.

Some republicans have no class. The ones at the wake proved it.

[ernstbass]

29. Just when I think nothing will surprise me

I hear about this. I am absolutely appalled. I can't imagine how hurtful those remarks were for you and your family. I agree with you about the depth of thier hatred. Some nutcase called Hannity last week and encouraged others to take up arms against the dems. It is unreal.

[paineinthearse]

30. Thank you for sharing your story with DU

When you are ready and if you feel it appropriate, maybe you would consider sharing it with others in your town via LTTE, or they editorial board may even allow you to submit it as an op-ed.

[StaggerLee]

31. My condolences

To you, your family and other loved ones.

I am sorry that you and your family had to witness such horrible behavior.

[Taxloss]

32. What a disgusting story.

I'm so sorry. I'm surprised you didn't call off the whole business, pull the plug, and tell them to go home after dishonouring the dead.

I suppose it shook their little brownshirt world that they should have to honour someone they - gasp - disagreed with.

[ohtransplant]

33. Please accept our deepest sympathies for your loss.

Losing a loved one is a gut-wrenching experience and in your grief, your family should have been spared the political bile spewed by family acquaintances.

The truth is these people had little regard for your family's loss and a greater need to spew venom. The reality here is that these people are not friends and have exposed themselves as such!

God bless you and your family.

[MissB]

34. How horrible.

My condolences on the loss of your sister. I missed that post.

How terrible that so many people were indecent.

I watched Hotel Rwanda this weekend. Between that, and your post, I'm feeling kinda skeeved right now.

[donsu]

36. kick

nt

[antigone382]

37. You should write a letter to Ms. Manners or Dear Abby.

And detail all the rudeness that they showed toward you and your family at a time when you were particularly vulnerable. I'm sure a good proportion of those Republican women read those columns; wouldn't it be satisfying for them to see their own rudeness and lack of class displayed and admonished publicly? It would serve them right.

[Nite Owl]

39. So sorry to hear

of your loss. Your sister sounds like she was a great person.

It is important that this story gets out. There are republicans out there that need to realize just what their party has become and this behavior shows just what they are really like. There is no such thing as a compassionate conservative, it's an oxymoron. Maybe Mike Malloy or Randi Rhodes would talk about this?

Again condolences to you and your family.

[Neecy]

40. I've been thinking about it

I'd like to do an op-ed piece for my local paper when I can pull myself together a little bit. I'll have to tread carefully, because the blonde Republican woman who was restrained by my sisters friend told her that my brother-in-law had "started it" by having her buried with the bracelet on. They really believe that, so a call for bi-partisanship at a visitation will probably get the same ugly response. Never mind that that one of us would have dreamed of debating our politics that night. A bracelet was all it took to send them into outer space.

[jbnow]

43. Shocking

Strange. Sick. Unreal. If it was in a movie it would not be believable.

I am sorry for your loss. Your sister would probably be laughing like crazy at those crazy people, if not for the extra sadness it might be causing you.

I can't imagine why such a benign symbol would cause such a reaction at any time, let alone at a wake. Are these people...generally sane?

What kind is going on in the world?

Write that op-ed honestly...and don't use that one. Just get it out!
I understand the need to tread carefully but also the need to say something. Just can't imagine what...

What an odd thing to have to deal with when dealing with such a loss.

[caligirl]

44. No one but that blonde woman is responsible for her boorish behavior.

She refused to take responsibility for it and threw it on others, she was inappropriatly insensitve to the memory of your sister(I lost mine too). We buried my sister with several objects of importance in her life and ours. It isn't up to repugs to dictate what one buries a loved one with. She acts as though your family was the insensitive one to her, by shifting blame. Bullshit! The world ios not responsible to pass everything by her for approval so she won't act up.

[Neecy]

51. Most of them I didn't know

Some of them I think worked with my brother-in-law, and they seemed sane enough. A few had been friends of my father who had become Reagan Democrats - now just Republicans - in the 1980's but they never seemed particularly radical. Some I had no idea who they were, and I wasn't in the mood to engage with them and find out. Once my brother-in-law is a little better I'll ask him about some of the more vocal ones.

None of this happened at the funeral the next day, and since a wake generally involves people who might not often see each other standing around talking that probably allowed the radical ones to whip up some of the outrage. One of the more vocal ones was my nephews' future mother-in-law, which pissed me off since my nephew was close to my sister and he was upset the whole night. I think all the standing around with some troublemakers in the group set off the Clinton and Gore rants, although there's no excuse for what was said to my mother.

[flyarm]

56. my deapest heartfelt sympathy to you dear and your family!!

when we loose someone before their time..all fmilies go into a fog..its sureal..to go through the funeral and all it entails..but for any human being to treat another like you were all treated..is just plain evil...ther eis no other explaination for people like that other than they are evil to the core...
i would be compelled to write each and everyone of them ..when you get time to mourn and heal from your loss..i would write them and tell them in no uncertain terms..that you will never accept such evilness aroud you or your family ever again...snd tell them the pity you feel for their lost souls...and that a higher power will take care of their dispicable behaviour in a time of tragedy and your faith and compassion will trump their evilness anyday!!

i am so dismayed by this ..i feel sick reading what they did to you and your mother and brother in -law...and your sister....


i wouldn't waste my spit on such dispicable people!!

better yet ..i would ask a minister to write a letter admonishing what these people did..let them get it from a god like person that they can really be admonished by!!

those stupid assed sickos!!

Neecy...i know from your writing and your hurt that your sister had to be a wonderful woman..she is with the angels...and they will care for her...
you now have the harder job of living among people this nasty..but don't let them hurt you...
mourn your sister free from those tashy people..mourn the love you had for your sister..and suport your mom and brother in -law...

never go down to the nastiness..always bring others up to your goodness!!
you have my love and kindest thoughts and prayers...

and remember, your sister is in the arms of angels!

fly

[EFerrari]

58. Do it, Neecy. They "started it" with their horrendous disrespect.

If you want to send me a draft to run eyes over, I'll be happy to do that.

love and strength to you and to your family.

[faithnotgreed]

54. my jaw is so dropped i can hardly type

we are all so incredibly sorry for all you and your family have had to go through


well and truly God bless you neecy

[Just Me]

42. Geez. That IS sociopathic. How cruel.

:hug: I'm sorry you and your family were subjected to such cruelty.

I would have become angered enough to invite those folks to leave. :grr:

[Fovea]

45. But yet

The Thugs went berserk over Paul Wellstone's funeral.

That's it. At my memorial my S/O and best friends all get tazers.

[anarchy1999]

46. Thank you for sharing such a heart wrenching story. I'm sorry for your

loss and what you went through. Having attended a funeral just last year, (one of only a very few), I can't even begin to imagine such ugly behavior.

[Merope215]

47. How absolutely awful

I can't even get inside the head of someone who would think it was okay to do that at a wake. How utterly classless and frightening. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else you must be going through.

My condolences on the loss of your sister. You and your family will be in my thoughts. :hug:

[grace0418]

48. WTF is wrong with people?

I swear, how effed up do you have to be to think that behavior is in any way appropriate? Especially when it's directed at the deceased's mother and husband! It's unbelievable. But then, if their leader can mock a woman sentenced to death as she pleads for her life, I guess they feel like they can behave any way they wish. I hope you do write an op-ed piece. They have absolutely no defense for their behavior ("he started it" is really, really pathetic, btw) and need to have their noses rubbed in it.

And please accept my heartfelt condolences on the death of your sister. I cannot imagine how hard that must be.

[mogster]

49. I'm so sorry to hear this

How good that you felt comforted by the people here, I missed your post.

What to say? I'm out of words. The republicans clearly have lost the direction in life.

Big hug!

[ultraist]

50. My condolences to you and your family

That is really moving that gave your sister the "Hope" bracelet and had her buried in it. :hug:

IMO, you did the right thing by not reacting to the "mass sociopathy" at the funeral. You showed your strength and dignity, they did not.

[hue]

52. JEEEZ! What antisocial morons!

I'm sorry you and your family had to go through this at this time! My sympathy to you and your family!

OK This is what we're up against! The Repukes are anti people.
How insensitive can anyone be?? It boggles the mind yet we have SO MANY examples of it everyday from the war in Iraq to the healthcare exploitation!

[Stephanie]

53. Lack of humanity - that's the underlying Republican trait

That is a frightening story. I think you should write it up in polished form and have it published. Perhaps in the hometown paper.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

55. What a disgusting story.

As someone pointed out above, this woman, and I hesitate to even call her that, that was hectoring your mother and brother-in-law about this should have been called on it and escorted from the wake.

The hypocrisy of these people knows no bounds.

Did this cretin not realize that the hardest thing any parent ever has to do is bury one of their children?

Did she not realize that your brother-in-law's heart was broken?

Neecy, I don't know you but I give you all the credit in the world for restraining yourself.

If if had been me in that situation, I would have just walked up to that woman and told her to leave immediately and if she didn't, I would hauled off and hit her into the middle of next week.

I wonder if this cretin even realizes what she did. Probably not, after all it's all about them.

Neecy, you and your entire family will be in my prayers. I've lost both my brothers and I know what you're going through.

:hug: :cry: :hug:

[KittyWampus]

57. Why Would A Blue Bracelet With "Hope" Make People Think "Democrat"?

and this is assuming people could even SEE the word Hope.

Did someone ASK what that blue bracelet meant?

Condolences for your loss.

[Neecy]

67. I don't think you could see the word

My brother-in-law stayed by the casket most of the night, and he was asked about it a number of times. It's bright blue (I'm wearing an identical one right now) and wasn't a standard piece of jewelry so it stood out. You can't really see what it says unless you examine it closely, so I don't think they knew what it said.

[deadparrot]

59. Wow.

Just...wow.

The depths people will sink to...truly the lowest of the low. I have contact with Bush fans on a daily basis, and I know how powerful their hate is....frightening, really.

I'm so sorry. I know it means little, but please accept my best wishes for your and your family's healing.

[screembloodymurder]

60. You've got to be kidding.

Where was the funeral?

[Neecy]

64. Kansas

[Sparkle]

61. Would you mind if I forward this link to Mike Malloy?

He may read what happened on the air.

[POAS]

62. Did your family have a guest book? And if so

perhaps you are thinking of sending thank you cards. I would include a message apologizing to anyone that was offended by the rude behavior of a few of the attendees at the wake.

No names or other explanation should be necessary, though I doubt the offenders will get the message.

[Neecy]

65. there was a guest book at the visitation

My brother-in-law has it. I know he's sent out cards to the people who sent flowers or made a charity donation. I'll ask him if I can borrow it - I like that idea (although we only had to sign our names, and I don't know how I'd get the addresses of the people I didn't know).

[MissWaverly]

63. sorry for your loss

Edna St. Vincent Millay

Justice denied in Massachusetts

Let us abandon our gardens and go home,
and sit in the sitting room...
In the cold earth under this cloud,
...We shall die in darkness, and be buried in the rain

I selected this poem, because it reminds me of all the unfeeling people who were there at your time of loss. I hope your family
finds those who will understand your loss and give you the comfort you need.

[Stinky The Clown]

66. Oh my god. All I want to do is cry.

Nothing to say, nothing to add.

[Jose Diablo]

68. 9-11 unhinged a lot of people

but truthfully, it's more than that, I think. Our country has been spoon fed a almost constant diet from TV, movies and news about it is OK to not care about others. Every since Reagan, this encouragement to look down on anything remotely liberal is force fed to everyone. When Russia fell, that gave the hate machine the go ahead to turn inward, toward our country's social programs and those that support them.

Does anyone here remember when Reagan took everyone off social security disability programs, then all those disabled people had to reapply, and he got away with this. Reagan emptied the insane asylums of patients. They would be wandering the streets in a daze. And nobody in the news, TV or movies said diddly squat about it. Just a bunch of derelicts right?

Even before that, as long as I can remember, there was the always creating some enemy, like communism. This country has been at war since at least WWII. As long as I have been alive.

We now are just seeing the conversion to the dark side reach a very sizable portion of the population. And 9-11 gave each and every one of them a target to hate. First the Arabs, then it becomes easy to shift that target to other political enemies, even fellow Americans. The technique of mass anger, insanity is well developed and documented, in how to achieve it. Read Goebbels.

Sorry to hear about your sister.

[hippiegranny]

69. If anyone was wondering before

"how low can they go?", they now have the answer. I am so sorry for your loss and the added situation of such base morons trampling roughshod over your family's grief. If you do write a LTTE, I think your original post says it all.

[Octafish]

70. My deepest sympathies to you and yours, Neecy.

Please allow me to to extend my condolences. I am truly sorry.

As for the pukes, all I can figure is they are so ashamed at who they are and what they stand for that they have no choice but to berate anyone who stands up and states the truth -- good people like your sister.

In my office, they act very angry when discussing politics or economics. "The WMDs are in Syria." "Global warming has been disproved." "Racism isn't the reason Detroit is segregated." "The poor are lazy." There are plenty of jobs." Then they don't want to see evidence otherwise. That's crazy.

Those pukes who once were my friends, get angry at the sight of me because they know what I will say to them. Even if I keep my mouth shut, they'll start in with Hillary Clinton this or Bill Clinton that. This must be what Germany was like in 1938, except worse.

[Cha]

71. This is so sweet of you,Neecy, to share

this very sad story with us. But in the end no matter what the repukes had to piss and whine about..your dear sister got to wear the Blue Band on her wrist and take it with her into the great unknown(at least as far as I know).

The way they acted over your sister is exactly the way they are ..all over the tv, on the hate airwaves, and in the privacy of a Democrat's last visitation.

I suppose we can take heart in knowing ..at least..we aren't them.

[Joe Chi Minh]

73. I think their anger

over the proclamation of your mother's Hope - one of Christianity's sovereign virtues, the so-called theological virtues - is a function of their having a very bad conscience.

To them the Christian faith (their own understanding of it being obscene perversion of it), is no more than a political weapon; so when they see a proud personal witness to the true Christian faith, as taught so unequivocally by Christ, they, of course, cannot make the connection between progressive politics ensuing from a determination to obey Christ's central teachings, as contained in his parables, and a cheap stunt to shame political opponents - themselves, in the case in point.

As someone once pointed out, to the evil man, goodness can only be perceived as a superior form of chicanery. I used to muse upon Nixon's probable "take" on Mother Theresa, and could just hear him muttering to himself, "What's that crazy old bitch's game! She must be trying to work a flanker in some way or other... What's her angle. She doesn't fool me, the wily old reprobate".

Although since Nixon's policies still reflected some social conscience, you could perhaps more appropriately imagine Bush or Rove wondering about her, and suggesting getting her on their team! I know she was naive politically, but somehow, I don't think she would have been taken in.

It seems to me, Neecy, that you've just witnessed an example of the same syndrome.

[cookiebird]

74. No Excuse

for such disgusting behavior. I married into a ReP family 25+ years ago and was always treated with respect and love. My husband's grandmother, a verrrry traditional southern woman, was a humane and compassionate individual and an icon to her children. During the civil rights struggles, she'd watch the TV (this was the 60's) and the horrors that occurred in the South. She was ashamed at the behavior of the white people..."This is just not right" I think she'd say the same thing now. For these people to use this sad occasion to make a political statement is beyond disgusting. It is low-life, PWT, impotent, fearful behavior. Underline the "fearful" these idiots are very scared.
I am sorry for your loss...your sister must have been a "helluva woman" and she has left her mark on the world. We are a better democracy because she had passion and she took action.:hug:

[ArchTeryx]

75. What complete bastards!

I am not one driven easily to obsenity on the boards, but this has got to take the cake. Ranting at the DEAD, and especially their next of kin, over their political leanings?

I would not have been nearly so polite as the Democrats at that funeral, if they'd have done this at my father's wake, with my sobbing mother and sister around me. I would have FORCIBLY escorted them from the premises -- and not have been above calling the police if they got nasty.

There are times to fight the culture war. A woman's funeral is NOT one of them, and I would deal with such incipient Nazis with extreme prejudice.

I'm really sorry to hear about this. :<

[in_cog_ni_to]

76. OMG! I cannot believe these people!!!!!

:grr: How crass can you be? GEEZUSKRIST! They can't leave their hatred at home long enough to attend a wake? :wtf:

[frictionlessO]

77. Neecy I can't think of a single thing to say....except you have my empathy

Im sorry they wouldn't lend your family theirs.

[Catherine Vincent]

78. OMG! That is really sad.

What were these people thinking? Did they forget they were at a damn funeral? Really, I'm just speechless. Were any of these people your relatives? If they are, that is the only thing holding me back from calling them names. Aaaarrrgghh!!

I hope that your sister rests in peace and you and your family that witnessed this spectacle, find it in their hearts to forgive these idiots.

[FizzFuzz]

79. thank you Neecy and deepest sympathy to you and your family

the behavior of those people makes me nauseous.

I agree with the idea of making this experience public. Those people have no right to hide their ugliness behind the secrecy of polite social convention.

In any case, no matter what you decide to do, thank goodness you and all of us here are not like them.

[Sabriel]

80. Kick for the night crew n/t

[mopinko]

82. the reign of the lizard brains

they are being fired up by the hatemongers. frightened people are easy to lead. and even easier to fool. a tiny part of me feels sorry for them in their irrational fear. very tiny, tho.
my condolences on the loss of your sister. i can't believe you managed to keep your temper. i'd have been looking for the firehose.

[bleedingheart]

83. I am so sorry for your loss and I am upset by the behavior

at her funeral.

That was beyond rude, that was just disgusting.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

85. That's just appalling, but sadly, not all that surprising

After all, they are members of the party that dared to criticize how a grieving family that had just lost three people handled the Wellstone memorial service.

[kainah]

86. I'm so sorry for you

What a terrible thing to have happen when you are grieving your loss. It's incredibly hard to believe people could be this cruel but I'm sure it's true.

I saw an unfortunate display of this anger last week that makes me wonder if it isn't a form of mass sociopathy, fed and fueled by the media and the religious right.

I reached the conclusion before the election that this element is best compared to a cult. * is their leader and he is channeling god and anyone who says (or thinks) differently is under the spell of satan and speaking lies.

I believe I understand the phenomenon but I haven't a clue how to crack through its perfectly constructed shell.

[Straight Shooter]

87. Why the hell were those people there if not to honor your sister's life?

I mean, isn't that what a funeral is for? To honor the life of the one who is gone, to gather together to mourn her passing? Surely they must have known of her gentle heart, that she would be exactly the kind of person who would wear a Hope bracelet. What's with all the phony outrage and causing a scene, at a funeral for cryin' out loud.

Their behavior is just beyond the pale. I am so sorry, Neecy, that you and your family were attacked with this sordid display of people who cannot, for even one damn day, stop thinking of themselves.

May your sister rest in peace, and may she comfort you in your dreams. :hug:

[BamaLefty]

88. So Sad

I'm sorry about your loss and the hateful remarks from your "friends."

[lostnfound]

89. Wow. Horrible and sad, both the experience and the implication.

I'm so sorry about your sister.

This is incredible.

I feel horrified that this could happen.

And I feel so sad for our country that I could cry.

[Daphne08]

91. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss,

and I cannot believe your family had to experience such inappropriate behavior.

As you stated, that kind of hysteria is dangerous.

It is also very un-Christ-like.

Will we ever understand why these people cannot comprehend that fact?

:grouphug: From all of us here.

[KG]

92. further proof - conservatism is a mental illness.

[DemExpat]

93. Just devastating, Neecy.....my condolences

This does not surprise me at all, just confirms my deepest feelings of alarm and fear of what is happening with a large segment of the US population.

For me this incredibly despicable scene at your sister's funeral, with the focus on a blue armband with "HOPE" on it conjurs images of the Holocaust and the crucifixion of Jesus, along with any other historical and present day persecutions of innocent peoples.

This to me is also a tale of terrible foreboding if this is allowed to continue and grow.

:puke: :cry: :hug:

DemEx

[enough]

96. Truly this does carry a feeling of foreboding.

What a nightmare. It seems unreal.

I have to say that the Republicans I know (old-fashioned middle-of-the-roaders) would never behave like this. This goes beyond a political philosophy into some sort of brainwashed pod-people behavior. Something has taken over their humanity.


Neecy, I am so sorry. You have certainly shown your strength by your behavior in that situation and by telling the story for us.

[progressoid]

94. My sincere condolences

Beyond that, I'm speechless.

:grouphug:

[Bouncy Ball]

95. My God.

That's just horrific. That's sickening.

I sure wish I had been there. I would have pulled a few of them at a time out in to a hallway or a distant corner of the room to give them a what for. They were at a FUNERAL for crying out loud.

I just am gobsmacked at that behavior. Every one of them should be ashamed of themselves.

Oh and if they were so freaking offended by her wristband, they should have left. Better that than stand around talking smack about your sister and the party she supported.

I'm so sorry that happened and I'm sorry about the passing of your sister.

:hugs:

Teenagers have a word for people like that: haters. Pure and simple, haters.

[callous taoboy]

97. Displaced/inappropriate anger is the rule these days. I hope it

consoles you to see twice as many positive posts here than there were Mepublicans at your sister's service. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.