Pick your President

[Resistance Is Futile]

Given the following slate of candidates in 2004, who would you vote for:


1) God
Mass murdering egotist from the best selling work of fiction, the Bible.

2) Satan
The Prince of Darkness himself, or perhaps just misunderstood.

3) Adolph Hitler
Austrian with a funny moustache and an uncontrollable urge to take over the world and march people into gas chambers.

4) Josef Stalin
Former dictator of the Soviet Union. Worst mass murderer of all time in absolute numbers.

5) Pol Pot
Former dictator of Cambodia. Worst mass murderer of all time in terms of percentage of population killed.

6) Beneito Mussoleni
The original fascist. Accept no subsitutes.

7) Osama bin Laden
Anti western lunatic with a following of heavily armed madmen.

8) Bill Gates
The Prince of Darkness in human form.

9) Ann Coulter
Well known ranting elitist and lawyer.

10) Cuthulu
A multi-tentacled demon that eats people and is immune to bullets.

11) The Incumbant
A cheap, second-rate, halfwit knockoff of candidates 1-9.


Ladies and Gentlemen, cast your ballots.
Void in Florida or where Diebold voting machines are used.

[jeter]

1. God, I guess

Or Howard Dean.

[toddzilla]

2. satan

at least we can have a little fun....

[Resistance Is Futile]

3. Can't you people leave the candidate wars out of *one* thread?

[AntiCoup2K4]

4. I vote for God!

And then, if the atheists are right, and He doesn't show up on innaguration day, I'll nominate myself :evilgrin:

[Lady President]

5. Hitler

I'm tall, blond, and German so I would probably survive better than most. Although, can you imagine the threads here if Microsoft/Bill Gates was President and there was internet voting? That would certainly rid GD of candidate bashing threads.

[kodi]

6. mussolini, he was a much better dresser than the rest.

.

[Raenelle]

7. Stalin. I'm working class. He aimed his paranoia elsewhere,

and he was an effective ally in one of our most desperate fights. Plus he hated fascists.

[tsipple]

8. Stalin Also Hated Intellectuals and Thinkers

Since you're posting to DU, you'd be shot.

[FubarFly]

9. Tough choice,

I like some of the other candidates, but I'm going to have to go with the one that's most electable.

My heart tells me to go with a real progressive like God, but my brain tells that God will be smeared as a soft on crime, peace-loving, elitist.

That's why I have chosen to go with Cuthulu.

I think that immune to bullets thing will really go over well in the South. Also, I think he has the best foreign policy credentials, considering he isn't even a part of our own culture's mythology.

That's just the primaries though, in the generals I'm ABC (Anyone But Coulter.)

[FubarFly]

11. Another thing about Cthulhu,

is that he has a really powerful message:



Vote Cthulhu in 2004, or I eat your brain.



It's kind of tough to argue with that!

(Although rumor has it, he stole that line from Bill Gates.)

[LastDemInIdaho]

10. Why is Alice Cooper not in the list???

He want's to be ELECTED!

[janekat]

12. Mussolini - we share the same birthday....

there must be a socialist streak in him somewhere, I figure.