The Devil's Dictionary updated.

[KlatooBNikto]

With aplogies to Ambrose Bierce, here are my two entries for the Devil's dictionary, circa June 7, 2005.

Vital Interests of the United States: These are usually the resources that a foreign country has that has caught the eyes of our corporate greedmeisters.If the country does not part with those resources on our terms, our vital interests are threatened and we have to find an excuse to launch a war against that country pronto! These vital interests could be oil,jewelry for our many wannabe stars,a man who stands in the way of our greed,you name it.

The vital interests are only invoked if we can threaten a weak country.By definition, vital interests are never brought up when a country like Russia, China or India is involved. Threatening them would create a huge problem that we don't want to face, yet.When our Dr.Strangefeld creates his "Rods From God" the vital signs of the vital interests will go up significantly.


Fledgling or Fragile Democracy: These are words that are applied when any of our favored tyrants sets up a window dressing election to show that he is a True Democrat at heart waiting to come out of his closet at our signal.Musharraf or Mubarak qualify for these terms.Any one else, like Chavez, does not qualify because he holds real elections.

There will be more terms as this Dictionary gets updated with vital input from other dictators.

[Crankie Avalon]

1. What about "Spreading freedom and democracy?"

I'm readin Zinn's "A People's History of the United States" and just finished the chapter on the Spanish-American War.

We started that war to "spread freedom and democracy" by aiding the peoples of Cuba and the Phillipines in their attempts to overthrow the Spanish. In fact, we were in such a hurry to help, we made sure to get in as soon as we could since it seemed like the Cuban and Phillipino rebels were about to expel the Spanish on their own before we could get there and play the hero. Just trying to be helpful! Not jockeying to simply take the place of the Spanish as colonial exploiters, no Siree.

Just like our motives in Iraq today. Well, the latest one...you know, after the connection to 9/11, ties to Al Queda, and WMD pretexts didn't pan out. "Spreading freedom and democracy." Whoooooweee!!!