You may think this is candidate bashing but I don't care!

[wyldwolf]

I'm not going to name names so I can't be accused of candidate bashing, but _______________ said he feels an affinity toward the United States! He said it is a salubrious place to him!

This shouldn't surprise those who don't care for this candidate. When it comes to the issues, he's always tractable, using unequivocal language to eschew the use of outright lies in his speeches!

And what of his family?

His female relatives put on a constant pose of purity and innocence, and claim they are inscrutable, yet every one of them has taken part in hortatory activities.

The men in the family are likewise completely amenable to moral suasion.

My opponent's uncle was a flagrant heterosexual.

His sister, who has always been obsessed by sects, once worked as a proselyte outside a church.

His father was secretly chagrined at least a dozen times by matters of a pecuniary nature.

His youngest brother wrote an essay extolling the virtues of being a homo sapien.

His great-aunt expired from a degenerative disease.

His nephew subscribes to a phonographic magazine.

His wife was a thespian before their marriage and even performed the act in front of paying customers.

And his own mother had to resign from a women's organization in her later years because she was an admitted sexagenarian.

Now what can I say about the man himself?

I can tell you in solemn truth that he is the very antithesis of political radicalism, economic irresponsibility and personal depravity. His own record proves that he has prequently discountenanced treasonable, un-American philosophies and has perpetrated many overt acts as well.

He perambulated his infant on the street.

He practiced nepotism with his uncle and first cousin.

He attempted to interest a 13-year-old girl in philately.

He participated in a seance at a private residence where, among other odd goings-on, there was incense.

He has declared himself in favor of more homogeneity on college campuses.

He has advocated social intercourse in mixed company - and has taken part in such gatherings himself.

He has been deliberately averse to crime in our city streets.

He has urged our Protestant and Jewish citizens to develop more catholic tastes.

Last summer he committed a piscatorial act on a boat that was flying the U.S. flag.

Finally, at a time when we must be on our guard against all foreign isms, he has cooly announced his belief in altruism - and his fervent hope that some day this entire nation will be altruistic!

I beg you, fellow DU'ers, to oppose this man whose life and work and ideas are so openly and avowedly compatible with our American way of life. A vote for him would be a vote for the perpetuation of everything we hold dear.

The facts are clear; the record speaks for itself. Do your duty.

Thank you George Smathers for pointing this out to me!

[diplomats]

1. LOL!

[HereSince1628]

2. Well 2 counts of nepotism...I say I CAN'T vote for your candidate

although I recognize that your candidate may have come from a small community where in all reality it might have been impossible to place in office, someone outside your gene pool.

[upperleftedge]

4. Silly

This is my first post at DU and I do so in the praise of silly. Or maybe just fun. A wise man once told me that "life is more meaningful when you are having fun". He's 71 now and has more fun than I do at 59. Of course as with all humor the reason we laugh is sad. That people are ingorant of their own language is a sad thing. Of course laughing is better than crying about it.

:silly: :silly:

[HereSince1628]

5. If you don't think I'm laughing that's sad

actually I am ROTFLMAOWMPFOMDLA!!!!

[Don_G]

6. Welcome To DU!

:hi:

[newyawker99]

8. Hi upperleftedge!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Egnever]

9. Welcome to DU

Now buckle your seatbelt its going to be one hell of a ride!

[Brucey]

3. Inscrutably quintessential in elegance.

[Mairead]

7. Where did you dig that up? That's an OLDie!

[not systems]

10. more homogeneity on college campuses

Well I'm going to have to oppose this guy.

At least at the college I went to uniformity was
peaking the scale already.

Yes, I know it is a joke.

[sspiderjohn]

11. And I heard that in college he . . . matriculated.

nm