I am just stunned

[proud2BlibKansan]

The mother of the boy who was killed by the family dog was just on the news and she said:

"God has a plan for everybody and it was time for NIcky to go"

I realize she is grieving, but how in the world can a MOTHER say something like this?

[Warpy]

1. People say weird things when they're in shock and grief

I couldn't believe some of the stuff coming out of my father's mouth when my mother died, and her death was expected. I tend to cut people who have just had a sudden loss like that a lot of slack.

If she's still spewing that stuff a year from now, then I'll hold it against her.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. I see your point

I felt like she was trying to justify what the dog had done.

Maybe I read too much into it.

[Pithlet]

32. Yeah

I don't even want to contemplate what such a devestating loss would be like. I would just go insane, I think. I can't hold that against her, either. Now, people who say that to those who are grieving, well, that is another story...

[buff2]

2. "God has a plan for everybody and it was time for NIcky to go"

I don't call that grieving.That is one sick ass person,IMHO.

[TexMexTex]

30. oh c'mon...

while I don't agree with it, some people have a fatalistic view and that's all that woman has.... it makes life easier to accept if you hold the belief that 'it was meant to be'. Cut her some slack...

[OldLeftieLawyer]

33. That's a woman in denial

She cannot bear to accept the fact that she had a hand in her own son's death. So, it becomes a necessary act of "God's will" or some such blather.

I'm looking for this one to get prosecuted.

[Frances]

41. I told my pre-teen daughters that they could

visit their relatives without me on the condition that they realized they would have to look out for themselves. I told them that if anything bad happened; for example, if their relatives told them not to wear seatbelts and they were then injured in a car accident, the relatives would take no responsibility. They would say it was God's will.

By the way, I don't know how that is different from saying, "It's Allah's will."

Personally, I don't think the mother wants to accept responsiblity for what happened and I think she does have some responsibility.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

43. Absolutely

The day one of my kids might have been injured because of my negligence, and I try to hide behind the "It's (Fill In The Name Of The Appropriate Creature Up In The Sky)'s will," is the day I've surrendered my right to be a sentient member of the human race.

You gave your girls excellent advice. They'll know how to protect themselves from people who really are quite dangerous in their cavalier attitude towards others.

I'm saying the mother is looking at prosecution. San Francisco has really had enough of these deaths.

And who the hell keeps 2 eighty-pound pit bulls as pets in an apartment?

[knowbody0]

3. me too

she must be in shock. how horrible it must be.

[OrlandoGator]

4. When my best friend was murdered on my front doorstep, I heard this a lot.

"It was part of God's plan."

If God planned for a good kid to be kicked in his skull until his brain was no longer able to support life....well, God's an asshole.

I choose not to subscribe to this notion. I think God is good but fallible.

[proud2BlibKansan]

10. This is why I am not a church or religion person

My God is a caring entity. No way would She do this to a child.

[AlienGirl]

21. Deity can be all-powerful, all-knowing, or all-good

Any two of the three will work, but a person has to twist their mind into a pretzel to make the three attributes work together.

Tucker

[OrlandoGator]

29. My opinion is that God is all knowing and all good.

But humanity is an experiment of His that has spun out of control.

[bobbieinok]

59. I'm with you and post #29

I came to this position as the result of a series of discussions and reading while I was in college and grad school some time ago

to keep all 3 just makes the mind/heart explode

[FreedomAngel82]

14. I personally don't think

everything is God's fault or his plan. Some things in life just happen that nobody looks for. You can't predict or plan everything with the future. It changes all the time. God gave us free will for a purpose. I think, in a sense, blaming God is just a way for these people to cope with grief.

[Pirate Smile]

28. Free will. People have free will to do terrible things and they

frequently do.

[AlienGirl]

34. That wouldn't explain why innocent kids die in natural disasters

or of cancer. Free will doesn't enter into some equations.

Tucker

[Solly Mack]

6. I'm so not going to comment on her remark

Because I cannot do so without being really, really mean.

[proud2BlibKansan]

12. Understood

I think she may regret saying this someday. At least I hope so.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

35. Oh, come on

Go for it.

If you're really good, I'll try to top yours.............

[msongs]

7. not a problem for her...if that is her belief system. just like

people who hate jews have no problem gassing them, or people who like turkeys have no problems eating them.

maybe she is comfortable in her skin...like it or not?

Msongs
www.msongs.com/liberaltshirts.htm

[Fiona]

8. It's a pretty common response

to tragedy. It's a way of dealing with that which we can't rationally deal with. I'd cut her some slack on this. I can't even imagine the ordeal of walking into your house to find your son's bloody corpse chewed up by your pet. If it helps her deal with it, good for her.

[punpirate]

It's also a good way...

... to deny responsibility for one's actions or inactions.

BTDT, t-shirt's not worth wearing.

[Nevernose]

9. What are those seven stages again?

Grief and loss can be associated with any stage of life. Even the death of a pet or moving to a new house can cause a person to grieve. Grief is associated with any kind of loss and will vary in length and intensity. Students experiencing homesickness during the first few weeks of college are experiencing a loss (parents, home, friends, etc.) and are, in a sense, grieving.

Grief is a normal, natural part of life. It is important that grief be regarded as a healing process. There are seven recognized grief stages. An individual will experience each stage during their grief; however, it may not be in order and some stages may be visited more than once. The stages of grief are (1) Shock or Disbelief that the loss has occured. (2) Denial is the stage in which the person refuses to accept the loss has occured. (3) In the Bargaining stage, the person attempts to reconcile the loss by making deals with other people, sometimes also with Diety. (4) Guilt is marked by statements of "if only I had done/been . . . ". (5) Anger is a natural stage everyone must pass. Anger may be directed toward the loss, the person lost, or even Diety. (6) Depression is a stage that comes and goes throughout the grief process. Resignation at the end of the depression indicates that the truth of the loss has been accepted and the person is ready to move on. (7) Acceptance and Hope means that you understand your life will never be the same but it will go on with meaning and hope.

http://www.snow.edu/~studentlife/griefloss.html

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. great post

thanks

[AlienGirl]

11. Sounds like grief to me

People who are in grief will cling to anything that makes their grief meaningful and protects them against the howling meaninglessness of it all.

Even if what they're clinging to appears to be nonsensical to an outside observer ("It was his time" or "Maybe it's for the best") these defenses are a good coping strategy, and people who don't have them are psychologically worse off than the ones who do.

Tucker

[FreedomAngel82]

13. Seriously?

She seriously said that? Oh my God.

[proud2BlibKansan]

23. yes

I still can't believe it. The kid was two.

[Fiona]

40. I believe the kid was 12

[proud2BlibKansan]

49. I thought they said two

and they showed a picture of the kid.

On second thought, it was a group picture of 3 kids.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

15. should i be the one to say it?

nah. like smart DU'ers before me I will just stfu.

[donheld]

16. Have mercy on her

Her son was just killed, then they shove a microphone in her face. She doesn't even know what she's saying.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

20. i agree

leave this lady alone. Forever.

[anitar1]

57. Why do people respond to the media ?

They are so hooked by the so-called news and talk shows that they automatically feel obliged to speak for the feeding sharks. Sickening.

[lectrobyte]

17. I don't get it either, but if it helps them to cope with the shock and

loss, then far be it for me to comment on something I can only begin to try to imagine.

[hyphenate]

19. It's definitely a defense mechanism

My best friend's mom just passed away, and my friend has been overcome with grief. Her mom was 85 and sinck since last Christmas, so it wasn't completely unexpected. And 85 is a good age. My friend's first reaction was similar: "God's will, her time," that sort of thing. If you are at all familiar with wakes, they're really about the family and trying to deal with loss, not really for the person who has died. It's a place where family and friends can gather to console each other.

So I also wouldn't hold it against the woman--she's just lost a child. It's going to take a while for that to sink in.

[Gold Metal Flake]

22. Sounds like guilt...

...that she wants to put on God.

[proud2BlibKansan]

27. That's kinda like what my son just said

which was "It's easier for her to blame God than to take responsibility for her own mistake."

[Gold Metal Flake]

60. Your son said it better.

Sad, but I believe that is what it is.

[Chescher]

24. I think people say/use their faith as they need it....

I mean, have you ever noticed that people who are in the worst situation ((for them -- whatever it is)), use religion as they need it?!

I guess I'm trying to say, I've got to believe she has no idea how to deal with her big ordeal, and the *only* way she can come to grips with her(?) dog killing her son is to "find god".

Sorrry I don't mean to sound crass. I hope you know what I mean.

[proud2BlibKansan]

31. Doesn't sound crass to me

I know exactly what you mean. When my sister in law's husband dropped dead from a heart attack at the age of 43, she said the same thing. We were standing in the emergency room at the hospital and she told her kids to remember that God has a plan for all of us. It pissed me off so bad at the time. Her youngest was 10 years old. He was sobbing so hard. His daddy had just died. And his Mom was telling him not only was it God's fault but it could happen to any of us. I wanted to slap my sister in law. But I realized she was in shock.

Welcome to DU :hi:

[AlienGirl]

36. A patient in great pain needs an opiate

Religion may be the opiate of the masses, but sometimes an opiate is necessary to control unbearable pain.

Tucker

[OldLeftieLawyer]

38. I have no faith in anything,

except that I know for a fact that shit happens.

Humans are loathe to accept the randomness of life and death. They're always looking for a plan, and I don't think there is a plan.

Shit happens. We deal. Life goes on.

[nonconformist]

25. In essense, it's the whole basis of religion

Believing that a all-knowing higher power had a "plan" for whatever horror that has just struck someone is the only way some people can cope. Without it, they are forced to deal with reality.

[Chescher]

26. Should it be considered illegal??

((((LOLOLOL))))

Funny the repugs can't find a way to make religion a drug.

[Dervill Crow]

37. Some people really do see God's hand in everything.

If her faith that her son is in a better place helps her get through this nightmare, I'm glad for her.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

39. Too bad

she didn't pay attention to her God when she was entrusted with that kid and, implicit in it all is God telling her that she's supposed to take care of her child.

[Dervill Crow]

46. You are so right.

[Inland]

42. Dog is God spelled backwards. nt

[Chescher]

45. STRESSED = DESSERTS spelled backwards ...

...sorry... that was dumb... I just hadn't thought of that in *so long* until I read the dog/god word.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

48. EVIL = LIVE

That's what's kept me prospering in the practice of law all these years.

[Dervill Crow]

47. Of course you know about the agnostic dyslexic

who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

[proud2BlibKansan]

52. He is an agnostic dyslexic narcoleptic/insomniac

Don't forget the last part.

[Dervill Crow]

53. You're right, I forgot.

The sleep deprivation is getting to me. How could I forget insomnia?

[proud2BlibKansan]

54. Maybe you are tired

Insomnia does that.

[bdot]

44. It's a way for people to try to handle things.

They have to put it in terms that make them feel better. It might not sound right to hear but it's a way for them to handle difficult things in life.

[The Whiskey Priest]

50. By and Large God Is a Sadistic Bastard

For a large part of our community.

[Ladyhawk]

56. It's just as well he doesn't exist.

For awhile I was pissed at him for doing that...how dare he go and not exist? Motherfucker.

[Dorian Gray]

51. Because she is grieving,

looking for answers, and probably in shock. Some people truly believe that God has a plan, also. It's not something that I would ever say to somebody else in their time of loss, but it might give me comfort to think it myself if I ever faced a tragedy.

[mitchum]

55. Why would anyone believe in a god that makes such fucked up plans?

[DemonFighterLives]

58. I can't answer this

But if it was a sheer accident, there would/could have been guardian angels. If the mother was keeping to large pit bulls around, she was not being safe. It could have been the boys time, but it could also have been some lesson from God for the mother.

Just trying to justify it.
:shrug:

Rest in Peace Kid!