It's obvious from the responses I've gotten today that lots of DUers don't

Melodybe

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Fri Jun-10-05 02:07 AM
Original message

It's obvious from the responses I've gotten today that lots of DUers don't

Edited on Fri Jun-10-05 02:43 AM by Melodybe

get me. That's cool, I come here to get differing opinions, I enjoy debate. I don't enjoy people saying that I am a borderline stalker. I'm still angry bout that one. Got my feelings hurt by a person here with over 20,000 posts, that was painful. But today after thousands of hours of footwork for the cause, I had a mini breakdown. I cried a lot today, I needed it. I got responses that agreed and I got cut to shreads by plenty that didn't. And again I'm cool with that, there is still a lot I need to learn. Thick skin is all the rage these days, didn't you know?

I understand that online, I have a tendancy to be all emotional and then later rational, that is just part of me, I'm working on it. I'm a tired girl, I do a lot for the cause, sometimes I feel like I am the only person on this board that walks their talk. Now I know that isn't true, but occassionally everyone on this board feels alone in their plight.

Sometimes it makes me short, sometimes it makes me more emotional than I would like. But then again DU is the only place I can talk shop for as long as I want and that also plays a big part in my internet personna.

It is that though, a personna, it's mostly real, but it is forced through a lens of anonymity and my limited language skills. I am trying to get better at expressing my own feelings about the state of things more clearly and possibly more calmly. I want my posts to accurately represent who I am, in real life, cause in person, I'm a no nonsense straighforward type of person, loud but straight forward none the less.

There is no inflection online and I think that we are all poorer for it.

I get really upset by negativity and pessimissom, it makes me mad cause in order for me to get through the day, I have to believe that the world CAN be better than this (thanks for the great line Giles). I fight for it every single day, sometimes with help, sometimes all alone, that's fine, that's the way it is. If you can't believe in change for the better what is the point of living or fighting at all?

I like to post LOTS of angry rants mixed in with the most uplifting and wonderful things that I read, hear, see, and think. My favorite thing on DU is sharing something honest and beautiful, be it a song, and article, a movie, whatever.

Did you notice I am kinda a drama queen? My posts have a tendancy to be melodramatic, but they aren't fake, the passion and emotion behind them is very real. Even though I am loud in real life, in day to day activities I am rarely melodramatic the way I am here. Some would say I'm even kinda laid back.

However, in my own defense I and those closest to me have lived with the curse of figuring things out before the masses, maybe not the masses here, on DU, but in general. I really was one of those people that questioned the media and their integrity back during Clinton's years. I was one of those people that believed Hillary when she talked about a vast rightwing conspiracy. I was one of those people that quit believing the corporate media in Nov. 2000. I was one of 4 people I know to question this adminstration the minute the second plane hit. The looks people like us get. On 9/11 you would have thought I was killing puppies, when I brought up in class my distrust of Bush and the past actions done in the name of the USA.

Does that give me an ego trip, hell yes, but I would trade my ego in a second to be wrong about the evils of this adminstration.

But, until now Jon Stewart gave a voice to those ideas, he said things that I was thinking and it meant so much to me.

I said what I sad about Jon Stewart b/c as it is with all famous people that we love, we project ourselves into their personna. I meant what I said, I am worried about where they're going, I am confused by the show as of late, and I am disappointed because it is not up to the high standards that they set.

Poor me, I might just cry about it some more, but don't worry about the razor blade and the Xanax (ADDED ON EDIT: this part is slightly sarcastic, someone else told me this earlier and I was just getting in a gentle dig at them), with or without the Daily Show I'll deal.

Anyway I love everyone here, cept for the dude that called me a stalker, I might hold that grudge for a little while. But in the name of anonymity and my limited language skills I felt like blabbering on and on.

Thanks for listening, to the good and the bad, DU.