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(Apologies to anyone who get's that Rolling Stones song stuck in their head for the next five hours...)
I'm kinda new here and have (with just one exception) only replied to pre-existing posts rather than presenting my own. But today I'm bored, have no interviews, finished the morning job-search (at the very least, 5 resumes get mailed or posted per day) and the place is completely clean- even washed and scubbed the baseboards yesterday!
So on with the show....
Sometimes I feel like a ping-pong ball getting batted from one end of the table to another. One afternoon I can feel completely confident that * will lose in '04.
That the electorate will finally take off the rose-colored glasses and see the corruption and cronyism of the current administration. That the people will finally begin to understand that we've been lied to, again and again about matters that affect our faith, our families, our lives, our wallets and our future. That the wall of hope the right and the moderate-voters have erected will finally crumble under an excess of pressure from the reality of what's happening. Sometimes the media does get it right and in my local newspaper yesterday, you would have had a hard time *not* reading any story, letter-to-the-editor, editorial or even business analysis which contained phrases like, "the administration is concerned with recent polling", "unnamed GOP sources told this reporter that the schisms in the administration run deeper than we care to admit", "...why are our troops forced to buy water and food from the local indigents, fer Gawd's sake?".
It's satisfying. Not in the sense that I can hold my fist in the air and proclaim from the rooftops, "Ya see, you stupid, angry, white, in-bred, knuckle dragging, red-neck, half-educated austrolipethicus...I was right and you were wrong!!!" No, it's more a calm and serene sense that maybe... just maybe, common sense and the search for truth will win in the next election. That the cycle of incivility on the radio has played itself out. That the hate we've been putting up with has burned it's own fuel and will come plummeting down to earth faster than Whistle-Ass's poll numbers.
But then I see or hear or involve myself in something which shatters my confidence and I begin to feel the early weight of Whistle-Ass and his coterie of Ass-Blowers sitting in office for another four years. Something as innocuous as overhearing a conversation at the local convenience store (although it was half-time when this happened, so that may explain the demographic make-up of the colorful cast of characters at the check out line)...
Setup: My local convenience store owned and operated by a family of mid-eastern immigrants who speak better English than most "America-Firsters" who recently cleaned (again!) cultural and racial graffiti shoe-polished off their front window. Owner is on the phone, speaking in Arabic, while his son is working the check-out.
Customer #1 (with two twelve-packs of beer in his arms to his red-neck pal in line with him): Damn Ay-Rabs and spicks takin' all the damn jobs in this neighborhood. I'd find work if they'd swim back over the river.
Red-Neck Pal: (who happens to be a neighbor of mine and although we don't converse, we are polite to each other) Yaright. Here's some change, buy some rollin' papers, willya?
Customer #1: What fer? Jimbo smoked it all this morning. (To Owner's Son working the register) DAMMIT! What are you waiting fer? Take my damn money!
Owner's Son: Yes, of course. I was simply thinking... we have opened another store three miles from here and if you'd like to fill out an application, I'm sure my Father will be happy to consider it...
Customer #1(Cutting off the Son): Fuck-off, rag-head. I ain't workin' in some cheap joint like this. You people'd convert me and tell me to blow up my own damn country.
They make their purchase and leave. I make my purchase (Ny-Quil. I'm sick as hell this weekend and need pampering, dammit!) and chat with the son for a bit, asking him how his classes are going (he recently began his first year of college). Customer #1 and his Red-Neck Pal are still in the parking lot when I leave. Red-Neck Pal says to me out of the primer-grey duelly truck window, "Hey, you shouldn't be talkin' to them all smiley and giggly, they'll make you their first target when they blow up America."
"I'm not too worried," I reply. "They're just people tryin' to make a living."
"Shee-it," he says, "You'll be sayin' that when yer all blown up...but we gave that little shit what-fer, didn't we?"
By now, I'm mad. I'm angry. I'm ready to thank God for the five-day waiting period for fire-arms in my state, 'cause I would have shot him in the groin as many times as there were bullets. However, since the angrier I get, the calmer I appear, he had no idea. "Ummm... I think I would have handled it a bit differently than you and your...partner." (I used the word 'partner' in a conscious form to bait them into thinking I percieved them as a gay-couple...it worked; Customer #1 immediately shot me a "fuck-you" glance and moved as far to the left of the cab as the truck door would allow...hehe).
The red-Neck Pal, curiosity peaked and oblivious to my dig, asks me, "Allrighty then, what would you have done differently?"
Here's my mistake. I told them. I said, "I'd stop buying booze, crank and dope with my unemployment check, sell the gas-guzzler and invest in small, used car. Look for a job and stop blaming everyone else for the condition both you and your house are in. I'd also ask both God and the store-owner's son for forgiveness. If I had any time left over, I'd take a shower (using soap this time) and brush my teeth. But that's just me."
I didn't even wait for a reaction. I just hopped into my little mini-van (although it's used and almost six years old, I'm proud of it- I bought it two weeks ago after surrendering my 403b plan and it runs like a dream... and I don't have to look for work on bus lines anymore :) ) and left. Actually, I was feeling a bit smug and pleased with myself. Somewhat proud of my erudite witticism, fantasizing that I made both of them cry like little school-girls.
I woke up this morning and went to the same storeto get the morning paper and noticed as soon as I walked out my front door that the word, "TERRERIST" (sp) had been keyed along the side of my van, and "ANTY-AMERICAN" (sp, again) was spelled out on the frnt windshield in white shoe polish. Ahhh.... Lee Greenwood would sure be proud. I washed off the shoe-polish (driving hazard, ya know). The owner of the store told me he'd overheard the conversation in the parking lot and wanted to pay for a paint job for the mini-van after I told him what happened, as he felt guilty (!!!!!!!!!). I told him, no thanks. I'm keeping the graffiti on the van... it may cause for some very interesting conversations in the next year :) .
But I'm still dissapointed today. I just saw Whitle-Ass's core voting block in action yesterday and realize that there are a LOT of them in this country. Red-Necks, Hillbillies, White-Trash, America-Firsters, Corporatist Apologists, John Birchers, and all the rest...regardless of what we call them. They are here and they are there. They listen to Rush and they vote. And there are too many right now for me to take them all on by myself.
Therefore, God bless the D.U. and all you guys and gals who keep my spirits up without even realizing it. Thanks to Bev Harris for the gargantuan task she's taking on. Thanks to all the moderators for allowing a huge variety of opinions here. Thanks to Lynne Synn (sp?) for making me laugh almost every I read one of her posts. Thanks to everyone who's fighting the good fight, voting their conscious and doing what they can. Thanks to Greg Palast (of whom I'd never heard of before I found this site). Thanks to the people here who offer help and to the people who ask for help. Thanks even to the Freeper trolls who are so damned entertaining to watch when they get shot down.
Believe it or not, D.U. is a growing strength. That's not a platitude or gratuitous emotion. It's a real place and a real community. And I've decided to move in and make a stake here. Thanks everyone. :)
As an aside....I know this post has gone all over the map, but I'm on day three of no-cigarrettes for the first time in nineteen years and any ability I had to concentrate on one idea at a time or think coherently is gone until further notice...lol
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