Bush: "Our Long National Nighmare of Peace & Prosperity Is Finally Over"

[Oilwellian]

WASHINGTON, DC—Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."


Above: President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us." "My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"
http://www.theonion.com/onion3701/bush_nightmare.html :D

[GainesT1958]

1. He could just re-read that one for his coronation speech...

In New York next year...and add, of course, how well he's kept ALL those promises he made in that speech! :eyes:

B-)

[Katie]

2. Oaf Of Office - I've been looking for this for 2 years! TY

I remember the 1st time I read this, and thought how funny it was and then it all came true! Couldnt find it anywhere after that. Thanks so much for posting it~

[caledesi]

3. Thanks. That was great!

[nonconformist]

4. It's incredibly sad and telling when Onion articles start coming true

Isn't it? It used to be a source for humorous and outrageous takes on the news. I heard a speaker on CSPAN at a meeting of historians say, "save your Onions - in 20 yrs, they'll look like just regular news stories of the time."