Sometimes I wish that I could give the cons a world without liberals

MrScorpio

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Sun Jun-12-05 07:57 AM
Original message

Sometimes I wish that I could give the cons a world without liberals

Edited on Sun Jun-12-05 08:50 AM by MrScorpio

I'll call it Republican World. Because for them, it's the best place to be.

They love to profess that liberals and the next best thing as terrorists and that liberalism is the worst thing in the world. If I had just one wish, I would send the to a place where they never have to deal with liberals.

A world where all their news comes from Sinclair Broadcasting, Richard Mellon Scaife, Conrad Black and Rupert Murdoch. That way they never need to get worked up about the left leaning media. All the reporters vote Republican. Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Ollie North, Michael Savage and Dr. Laura 24/7. These guys ALWAYS tell the truth. We all know that ZMagazaine and the Nation lies about everything. Damn, even the New York times and the Washington Post can't even tell the truth. The Yankees lost and they'll never tell you.

No Democrats. You have your Republicans in name and deed, ONLY. Your Libertarians can play too. Why leave Neal Boortz out? Hell; he'd love this place. Hell. Let's give the NRA and the Corporations their own parties too. With folks like Tom Delay, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove and George Bush running everything without opposition, why do they need to be challenged on Republican world?

No unions. The whole world is Right to Work. That basically means that the corporations have the right to access to your labor at any price that they set. None of that pesky collective bargaining, benefits, or minimum wage in Republican World... That'll hurt the economy and put everybody out of work.

No Social Security. Send those lazy old people out to the field... Instant fertilizer.

Since we've always been at war with Oceania, why bother keeping track of how much money that's sent to the Pentagon. When did the State Department ever win a war?

No abortions... ever. No birth control access to women at all. Hell, let's ban masturbating too. Wasting all of that precious, God Given semen is a sin. Any woman who lives her life without giving birth to at least five children should be put into a reeducation camp. How dare these people go through life by wasting those precious eggs? Shoot, if she doesn't want to use them, they should be harvested. Waste not, want not I say.

Get born, get a gun. It's in the Constitution.

Look, this is a Christian country, right. The Ten Commandments EVERYWHERE. And God help you if you forget to honor your mother and father and forget to remember the sabbath and keep it holy. If you do, you're fucked. The Koran? Makes great urinal cakes.

There are no gays in Republican World... (Wink-Wink)

Trees? Why is all that wood in the forest going to waste? If a bear invades your neighborhood because he can't take a shit in private, shoot his hairy ass. Shoot him with that gun you got at birth.

Medicare and Medicaid? Only wimps need that shit. No wimps in Republican World.

Let's bring God back to the classroom. Oh yeah, their kids are gonna love this. Okay, we'll start morning prayer out by the flag pole, rain or shine, followed by Intelligent Design class, follow that with an hour of abstinence training and then we'll end they day with a test. Shit... Are talking about one of those socialistic public schools, chock full of those namby pamby teachers? Fuck that... Home schooling for EVERYBODY, K-12 then straight off to Bob Jones. That'll teach 'em.

No USDA, Labor Dept, Education Dept or State Dept. No need for those slackers: Shoot your own food, the corporations see to all of our interests, no need to standardize education and only pussies need diplomacy.

If you get caught without that gun you were given at birth, straight to jail with you. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 Reagans.

But you know the nicest thing about Republican World? It's such a perfect place.

There's no poverty there, everybody has bootstraps to pull them selves up with. There's no discrimination there, that would mean that people that they didn't like had any rights to speak of. They have none. There's no homophobia because there are no gays (Wink-Wink). No crime exists there because everyone is armed. Guns don't kill people, bullets do. No Liberal media to ever point out that that we're doing wrong. We never do wrong. Isn't is nice to be right all the time?

There's plenty of nice things to love about the place, but the nicest thing of all is that, if I ever did get to send all of the conservatives to their own special world, we'd get all of those motherfuckers off of this one?

Yeah, baby. That'll be real nice.