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Yes, it's me, the ol' draft dodger himself (well, one of us, anyway - there are so damn many of us here in Republicanville that America needs a scorecard to figure out who said what and lied to who to get whomever out of going you know where). Anyway, I'm the one who collected student deferments like they were baseball cards, and I'm here wearing my Buck Rogers O-fficial Pretend Patriot Flag Label Pin to set the record straight on this here Dean fellow.
Let's cut to the chase here - this Dean character is beginning to get on George's nerves, which is of course saying he is getting on MY nerves, cause I do run the place, you know. For the longest time, me and the boys were perfectly content to kick all you Democrats right smack dab in the nuts and watch you all whine (in a pre-pubescent falsetto) about how much it hurts. We could set our watches on how many of you cowardly little weasels would complain (zero) - life was good. Biden, Ford, Lieberman, Miller - hell, it was like picking cherries.
Now, all of a sudden some crazy-ass local Democrats actually grow a pair, and they decide (much to the chagrin of the DLC, which we kiddingly refer to as Dressing Like Conservatives) to elect this Dean as DNC Chair. So they do, and now the crazy bastard won't shut up! Worse yet, he must have a stray memo or two of ours lying around, because he seems to be doing exactly what we do when we want a little PR - he is, how you say, "pushing the envelope."
Well, he's pushed it about as far as we want, OK? What do you think, we actually like being on the RECEIVING end of this stuff? No we don't. We dish, we don't take. Comprende? Listen to those voices of reason (hee, hee, hee) like Kissing Joe. Keep Dean quiet, or the next thing you know we'll actually have to resort to defending our record, and you know where that will lead...
Regards,
Dick
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