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God Hates Shrimp.

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chalky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:42 AM
Original message
God Hates Shrimp.
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 12:45 AM by chalky
Okay, this is a new one on me.

"We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants."

:rofl:

eta: oh, oh, and the magnets they offer..."When Jesus died for your sins, he wore a crown of thorns, NOT A LOBSTER BIB!"

I'm dyin' here....
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:45 AM
Response to Original message
1. God Hates Chimpy.
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SammyWinstonJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:50 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. Wait, chimpy says "God" tells him whom to attack.
God talks to chimpy and God chose chimpy to be pResident.
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 06:04 AM
Response to Reply #1
18. "Hate" may be too strong a word...
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Bolo Boffin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:46 AM
Response to Original message
2. God's just never had shrimp prepared right.
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Colorado Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:47 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. LOL! I've been a vegetarian for years but there are times I
really miss SHRIMP.

And scallops too:)
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robertarctor Donating Member (831 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
4. Leviticus 11, yep. It's raht there in thayut Bibble.
And if'n yuh insist on hay-rassin' them homma-seksyuhls, then yuh betta not be suppin' down at thayut Red Lobster!
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 06:03 AM
Response to Reply #4
17. Magnet made of iron, lobster made of MEAT!!!
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:51 AM
Response to Original message
6. I'm no theologian, but...
Didn't JC kinda do away with some of the old testament stuff. like dietary laws and circumcission? I thought all of the fundies went wild for JC, what gives?
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chalky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #6
7. I dunno...food allergies?
n/t
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FreedomAngel82 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:58 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. Supposivley
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 12:58 AM by FreedomAngel82
But sometimes I think these rightwingers forget that. Don't forget one guy (his name left me now) had a dream in the old testament where God told him basically he can eat any animal. There was this net and had every type of animal in it and the net was released saying you could eat them. Plus, didn't God tell Adam to hunt etc?
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crimson333 Donating Member (760 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
8. That is why my seventh day advenist friends will not eat shrimp
Edited on Tue Jun-14-05 12:57 AM by crimson333
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chalky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:00 AM
Response to Original message
10. Hey all, did I forget to mention that the site is a PARODY?
Says so in tiny letters at the bottom of the screen:

"This site is a work of parody, conceived by Joe Decker and executed by Ryland Sanders."

Just so there's no misunderstanding. :)
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mcctatas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:14 AM
Response to Reply #10
13. Wow do I feel like an ass
:dunce: Just goes to show, nothing the fundies could do would surprise me in the least:smoke:
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Up2Late Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
11. NO, I DO NOT HATE SHRIMP! Welp, there you have it folks. God told me...
to type that. So it's official, God does NOT Hate shrimp. Praise Geeeesusss!
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lenidog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
12. If you eat kosher then shrimp, lobster and the like are a big no no
along with any carrion eaters. Though I am not sure why that was put in. Its not as if there is a big rush to run out and eat vultures and jackals.
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:23 AM
Response to Original message
14. i see this site is parody, but.....not surprised, wouldnt be surprised
i fingered since so many had read leviticus about the gays, that the repigious right now had to ban shrimp from their diet so they didnt seem like such hypocrits. i was all excited for a minute. i know a lot of people i could have gotten with that one
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #14
19. You'll love Lobster Magnet
See my post #17. It's one of my FAVORITES! :silly:
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:26 AM
Response to Original message
15. that is wonderfully good.
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personman Donating Member (959 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-14-05 01:36 AM
Response to Original message
16. I think god hates chickens...
that's why he made them friggen delicious. I can't pass a farm without wanting to jump on one, tear it limb from limb and eat it.
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