Mr.Bush unveiled a new program to restore fiscal health to Social Security

[KlatooBNikto]

To a preselected audience of potential Nobel prize winners like Peggy Noonan,John Podhoretz, Charles Krauthammer, David Brooks and Tom Friedman, Mr.Bush revealed that his new program will mandate that no one can draw on Social Security until they die.That, he said, with a wink and a smirk, will make it impossible for the system to run out of money. He said, in explaining his new rule" You see Economics is hard work. All the economists and people who went to Harvard with me are trying to do it the hard way. I am simple man and I want simple solutions. What could be simpler than making it impossible for the people to withdraw their money? That would come only from a simple man like me. Not from the people who used to mock me for my grades at HBS."

"The second solution I have is to divert some of the money that will come from looting Iraq's oil into SS.That will make sure that we can justify our occupation in Iraq forever.If necessary we can also loot some of the oil in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.Their being my personal friends has nothing to do with it.This is bidness.I have a great track record of looting money from friends and investors.Ask George Soros.He will tell ya."

After the initial presentation, Peggy Noonan went ecstatic and compared Bush to Reagan.I was in despair that our country will never find a replacement for Ronald Reagan.George Bush ended my despair today by his forceful statement. I never thought I can get an orgasm at a Press Conference.But here I am all wet under my pants.

David Brooks too was effusive in his praise.Mr.Bush clearly laid out a program that will make it impossible for the Blue Staters to capitalize on the Social Security issue. When no one can draw on Social Security, what is there to complian about?

But the evening's most forceful endorsement came from Tom Friedman, the noted International Correspondent at the NYT. He said, " I never met any one in Bangalore or Mumbai who has heard of Social Security.Why even bring it up now? Mr.Bush in his masterstroke has flattened the earth even more as Americans are reduced to begging in the streets like Indians.Can anyone say Mr.Bush doesn't know what he is doing? As he reduces Americans to the level of India, he will unleash enormous growth potential world wide which will make Indians richer and American poorer.Isn't that what the Constitution says the President must do?"