88 Lines About 44 Republicans

[Chichiri]

(To the tune of "88 Lines About 44 Women" by The Nails)


Bush the Second is in free-fall,
Approved by 42 percent.
Karl Rove, he holds his strings,
But we don't know where his figure went.
Bill Frist gave a faulty
Diagnosis on the Senate floor.
So Jeb Bush started stalking Michael
Schiavo, what a right-wing whore.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Duncan Hunter says that Gitmo
is the happiest place on Earth.
Fred Phelps says that US Soldiers
are a threat to home and hearth.
Bret Schudler photoshopped himself
Into the Howard Dean fan base.
Donald Rumsfeld dropped the ball,
But he's kept around so Bush saves face.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Cary Cramer fought Al Gore,
Turns out he molested Daisy.
Norman Coleman channelled McCarthy,
But was told "Oi, lad, you're crazy."
Glen Beck wants to kill Mike Moore
(Homeland Security didn't show),
John Thune promise no base closure,
Seems he's gone from "suck" to "blow."

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Ted Stevens wants a better bus stop,
Spent a million and a half.
Tom Delay is right with God,
All the blame goes to his staff.
Reverend Chandler threw out all the
Democrats from his "holy" place.
Donny Sherwood choked his lover
Then rubbed "family values" in her face.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Laura thought she'd make a funny,
Talk of jacking off a horse.
Kenneth Tomlinson hunts for bias.
Where? On PBS, of course.
Wolfy Blitzer doesn't think
Catholics can be Democrats.
Hannity rigged Schiavo's nurses,
Made ratings for the Fox News rats.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Dennis Hastert blames three-bucks-a-gallon
On the Big Dawg, naturally.
Michelle Bachmann hates gay marriage
But hides from them -- literally.
Michelle Malkin is, quite simply,
The ugliest human being alive.
Jimmy Welker says that if gays
Marry, bestiality wil thrive.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

John McCain endorses Bush's
Plan, even though we know he's smart.
Jimmy Gibbons says we're hippies;
Well, at least the hippies have a heart.
Bill O'Reilly wants to lock up
Franken, Rhodes, and their whole pack.
Annie Coulter -- okay what I said about
Michelle Malkin? I take it back.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
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Mitchell Daniels wants the Dems to
Rubber-stamp everything he does.
Tom Fuentes kept his students from
Going to Spain -- just because.
Jeffrey Gannon was a man-whore,
Rove gave him a cool press pass.
Limbaugh is an asshole who is
Full of hate and pills and gas.

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't
Have regrets for *his* drug use
Richard Gardner has two daughters,
Victims of his child abuse.
Tony Blair, the stiffest Brit
Thinks North Korea is a great land.
Charles Carrico wants his religion in
Schools, First Amendment be damned.

Rick Perry signed an anti-gay bill,
Said he'd throw gay veterans out.
Dana Milbank laughed at the DSM,
So Conyers kicked him in the snout.
Brian Wilson went to Harry
Reid's office, went batshit crazy.
Neil Cavuto interviewed Dubya,
As a journalist, he's lazy.

Billy Cadman, he knows garbage,
Rammed his fist up someone's ass.
Neal Horsley wants to lock up
Gays, but went to jail for grass.
Alan Keyes kicked out his daughter
Just for being liberal, and gay.
Kenny Mehlman, let me ask you,
Are there no decent Republicans today?

Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm
Mmmmmmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmm-mmmmmmmmm

[Lautremont]

1. Ach! A catalogue of malfeasance!

I'm a big fan of that song, so I could sing along. Quite an undertaking! and well done.

[Chichiri]

2. Thank you.

I was just really, really bored. :smoke:

[Kolesar]

6. Count yourself clever

That was a fun read.
That song got a lot of airplay when our local alternative FM station was in full swing.
I recall someone on DU penned alternate lyrics to Beck: Loser a few weeks ago. I think yours was the match of that DUer.

[XemaSab]

3. Brilliant, Brilliant!

Very well done!!!!

[Chichiri]

4. Thanks

:evilgrin:

[Chichiri]

5. (kick for my gf)

[kimchi]

7. I like it.

although I've never heard the original.

[Arugula Latte]

8. Great job!

:thumbsup:

And a great idea. I loved that song in the 80s.

[The Magistrate]

9. An Excellent Piece, Sir

Most apt, and almost everywhere matched to the meter of the original quite precisely.

Congratulations!

[Chichiri]

10. Thank you.

:)

[Kolesar]

11. good morning, DU

kick

[Chichiri]

12. good afternoon, TBA

redundant kick?