CNN reporting right now on -- Christian sex toys!!!

[DeepModem Mom]

OMG, they're sold at Tupperware-type parties, mainly in the South, to religious women. The purpose is to make "Bible Belt women feel comfortable with their sexuality." One woman, I think holding a vibrator, says if you don't have a man, "in God's eyes, I don't think that's wrong." A pastor is interviewed and disapproves. Someone reads a passage from the Bible about breasts, maybe from Song of Solomon.

That's about all I can report -- but, I kid you not, I've only had one sip of wine, and I SAW this report, on CNN.

[madeline_con]

1. "Bible Belt women feel comfortable with their sexuality."

What a load of...

They mean frigid fundies whose hubbies couldn't get it up with a crane.

They need to stop acting like being Southern means we need "help" with our sexuality.

[madrchsod]

9. i always thought southern woman were hot

because the way they talked. they certainly don`t need any help in this old guy`s mind...maybe all those stiffern ads are for the guys?

[mike_c]

18. I'm a lifelong southern man, now relocated to the left coast...

...but I can personally attest to the glorious hotness of southern women who need no instructions at tupperware type parties. Good on 'ya, madeline_con! :toast:

[bvar22]

82. Southern Womem ARE hot....

...but have never needed tupperware. The produce department at the local supermarket has always filled that need!

[malmapus]

85. hear hear!!

Same here, Georgia born and raised living on the left coast. But yes I can attest as well to the hotness of southern women who have no need at all for instructions :D

[Snotcicles]

59. Maybe if they do they will quit worrying about everyone else's sexuality n

[Snotcicles]

60. New product idea Kosher Dildos n/t

[kath]

100. heh, Kosher Dildos, heh.

Took me a little while to get it, but good one!

[MountainLaurel]

79. Or conversely

To help out submissive fundies whose husbands think that foreplay is telling her "let's go fornicate."

[Clark2008]

108. Hey! I'm Southern and, as my Yankee boyfriend will attest,

I have absolutely no need of any devise to feel comfortable with my sexuality.

AND, he likes the way I talk. ;)

[madrchsod]

2. well i`m glad you have the stomach to watch cnn.

i would have never thought----oh i won`t go there------let`s just say..."PRAISE JESUS------LORD I`M COMING"

[DeepModem Mom]

6. I wanted to resist, but it was like the proverbial watching a train wreck.

n/t

[madrchsod]

11. hell ted wishes he would have never sold cnn.

my daughter asked me about nancy -"men are killers" grace the other night. to bad i couldn`t tell her what my fav word for her is.

[DeepModem Mom]

16. Yeah, I almost always keep CNN on, on mute, in case of real news --

but I saw in passing the headline on this report on the bottom of the screen, and, as you know, I turned up the sound.

[ConfuZed]

3. Talk about flip-floppers

[Maple]

4. I'm not sure

I want to know what they look like in order to make them 'Christian'! :think:

[SammyWinstonJack]

5. Moral values!

:rofl: Don't try to sell that stuff in Texas! :rofl:

[derby378]

78. They're legal in Texas...

...it's just illegal to sell them as "sex toys" or "marital aids." You have to market them as "adult novelties" or even "cake toppers."

And that $200 talking inflatable doll that looks and sounds like Mary Carey or Paris Hilton? Nosirree, that's a cake topper.

[IowaGuy]

97. Well ,maybe they can now be marketed ... as...

religous statuary....

(Once again I'm reminded of my dear old departed uncles favorite dinner time prayer... Dear Lord...please protect us from your true believers!)

[mongo]

101. Actually ownership of 5 or more such devices in texas

is possesion with intent to distribute. I'm not kidding.

Keep the cops out of your nightstand.

[Tesla]

7. Keep us abreast of the Breaking News on this one!!!

[DeepModem Mom]

8. LOL!

[DanCa]

10. Uhm

To paraphrase George Carlin have you ever seen these people outside the clinics you wouldnt want to screw them any way. Christian sex toys? It proves that this sick twisted freak they worship is not Jesus Christ.

[madeline_con]

12. "Christian sex toys?"

As opposed to those heathen ones that only NASTY women buy! :eyes:

:rofl:

[alfredo]

30. the Crown of Thorns Dildo is a big seller.

[madeline_con]

32. Crown of Thorns Dildo

Ribbed for her pleasure...

:rofl:

[Dr.Phool]

31. Otis, git yer chaw outa my drawers.

[Nite Owl]

13. Did the vibrator say

'Praise the lord' on it?

[DeepModem Mom]

20. Thankfully, the products did not appear to have religious symbols...

or wording on them.

[Tesla]

26. I'm going to hell but here goes

it said "What Would Jesus Do"!!

[madeline_con]

33. I wonder if they'll have an extra large...

called the "Magdelena"

[fricasseed_gourmet_rat]

49. HAHAHAHAH

That's hilarious!! Don't make me snort milk out of my nose!

[Orangepeel]

75. or maybe "Who Would Jesus Do?"

:D

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

58. No that's what the operator is supposed to say.. at the appropriate moment

[Orangepeel]

74. maybe it's musical and plays Amazing Grace

or Rock of Ages!

[Media_Lies_Daily]

14. Uh...err...erck...pffftt.

[DeepModem Mom]

21. A very understandable, and appropriate, response! nt

[Trillo]

15. Trial moving closer?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/02/11/obscenity.trial.reut/

[DeepModem Mom]

17. Now, THAT's interesting, ST -- nt

[Trillo]

27. Yeah. How can this be "obscene"?

I guess the courts are gonna tell us who we may gather with and what we may peacefully discuss in the privacy of our own homes.

This doesn't feel like "freedom" to me.

[FreedomAngel82]

28. Is this for real?!

Jail or $4,000 for selling sex toys??? :wow: This is ridiculous! The parties were inside their own homes and they were eighteen which is considered an adult. If they can join the military why not have sex toys? It's in the prviacy of their own home! And now they're having Christian sex toys?! :banghead: <"They didn't want to comply with what was really Christian conduct and that is why they were asked to leave those churches," Gillaspie said.>

AHH!!!!!

[madeline_con]

36. Jail or $4,000 for selling sex toys??

I'd hope I made enough to cover that in a lucrative biz like 'toys'!

[Shallah Kali]

52. Doesn't TX allow people to carry loaded concealed weapons?

Why are this woman's products more dangerous to her neighbors than everyone packing loaded weapons? Why is something that makes people happy and never killed anyone so horrifying? Why is sex more sinful than death?

[brooklynite]

70. are you nuts?

Next you'll be saying that people have the right to engage in consensual sexual activities in the privacy of their own home. BEGONE heathen!

[mongo]

103. Wlecome to America

There illegal in many states. Don't have a list handy. Alabama, Texas, Kansas, Idaho come to mind.

In Kansas, they keep bringing indictments against a Lions Den (large sex superstore chain) and are only using toys - instead of the movies. They feel it will be easier to get a conviction on the toys.

It's been thrown out once or twice now, for technicalities. But last I read they re-indicted.

[madeline_con]

34. "Passion Parties"

I couldn't resist.

[Tesla]

64. I like that one

Have pictures of Mel holding the dildo, and the Christian women will have it ALL!!!!

[Sparkly]

43. It's fascinating to me that it threatens people so much.

Seems like anything that gives women control or independence -- economically, sexually, reproductively, politically -- freaks people out.

[MountainLaurel]

80. You're dead on, Sparkly

The idea of women having any sort of control or power -- even over their own bodies, scares the fuck out of people, especially fundies.

:yourock: :applause: :woohoo:

[kath]

99. Abso-fuckin-lutely!

[Trillo]

96. I'll be looking forward to seeing

how the courts rule on this (I'm not a lawyer), given the first amendment issues that appear to be intimately involved in the local obscenity laws the woman is charged with. Although I'm not a Christian myself, I'm certain that I have to support Christian women's Federal Rights in this issue.

What was that saying? "We all have to hang together, or surely we will all hang separately."

[wtmusic]

118. Figures -- from a "California company"

Californians spreading their vision of smut about the country :evilgrin:

[Gay Green]

19. What if those of us gay men who want to remain Evangelical-Christian

were to use these toys instead of going out and finding a companion? Would the crazies give us a free pass instead of quoting the wingnut verses of the Old Testament at us?

(on edit: fixed "as" to "at")

[madeline_con]

37. See post #23 ...

the "condemning others" part. :rofl:

[DanCa]

22. Jesus rode a donkey into jerusalem

Tell me they got a sex toy shaped like a donkey.

[Neshanic]

23. Shall we turn to EverReady 5: 3-15...

And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the pleasure of oneself without the other will be accepted. The people of the square will cry "thou do in private what thou condemn others of."

And you shall answer that your word is from a higher place, a fat little man of the temple siad it was good, for he adviseth the Monkeied one.

[DeepModem Mom]

24. Again, LOL!

[Gay Green]

84. "he adviseth the Monkeied one"

:rofl:

[FreedomAngel82]

25. Very very interesting

This is something I've never heard of. :crazy: And here I thought that sex toys and masterbation was what some didn't believe in. :shrug:

[Tesla]

29. no, just doing it with those of the same sex

as long as you call the dildo Bob, it's ok.
Janet, would be a No-no.

[Ilsa]

109. Exactly. I'm pretty certain the Old Testament speaks against men

"spilling their seed upon the ground." I take that to mean masturbation. I don't know if the Bible speaks to women and masturbation.

[Mz Pip]

35. Aren't sex toys banned

in one of those Southern States? Maybe they call them somethng else, like Angel's Helping Hands (batteries not included).

Mz Pip
:dem:

[madeline_con]

39. The lawsuit's in TX...

Maybe they don't allow that sort of carryin' on down there.

[Arugula Latte]

81. That's right, because Idle Hands are the work of the Devil!

nt

[Neshanic]

38. I knew those cartoon Christian vegtables had a double meaning.

[Cats Against Frist]

61. "cartoon christian vegetables" LOL

Someone gave us a pile of those videotapes, and I let my son watch some of them. One day, when I sat down to watch, I realized that they were indoctrinating my child. That's when they saw the dumpster.

Why can't they just let vegetables be agnostic???

[BringEmOn]

76. Is there a cucumber VeggieTale character?

[Old and In the Way]

40. The Rapture Model 2005

I'ma coming Lawd!

[thespiritualzebra]

42. snap Old and In the Way!

lewd minds think alike

[DeepModem Mom]

44. Hi, zebra! Welcome to DU!

[thespiritualzebra]

57. Thanks DeepModem Mom

[Tesla]

65. OH, MY GAWD!!!

I think I heard something pop in my head when I read this one!!!

[thespiritualzebra]

41. Best seller? The 'Bible Belt' with Rapture Rabbit attachment

So the pre-tribulation rapture was true after all!

[LightningFlash]

45. The fundie news network shoots out dis-reality all over again.

[leesa]

46. The Fundies will rationalize ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING they want

Jesus had one just like it!

[BeTheChange]

47. I guess I dont understand...

As empowered liberal women.. shouldn't we be making comments like.. "it's about time they got with the program".. or the like?

Why are we attacking and ridiculing people for getting in touch with their sexuality?

[LightningFlash]

48. Well it could be because with them....

It's the ultimate form of republican hypocrisy, but I don't know? :shrug: :shrug: :shrug:

Every time I look at fundies everywhere I'm reminded of they don't believe in dinosaurs or science or any of that ever existed. They're completely the opposite of a reality based community, just like *. So it just begs the question: Who's really the crazier one? :crazy: :crazy:

[BeTheChange]

50. Why is it the ultimate form of republican hypocrisy?

I thought it was Christian "passion parties". I was unaware that all Christians were republicans. I also missed the part where it said the personal views of the people that were participating in these parties. Did it say they were attacking people in the public community while doing this in their homes? How do we know that the people who are doing this believe that sex toys are bad and are therefore being hypocrits?

For the record. Im a Christian, I believe in dinosaurs and science and I own sex toys.

Infact, Ive seen churches have small groups for married couples to talk about how sex isnt dirty and that it can be fun. Maybe they dont advise you to try anal beads and a strap on, but they sure dont shun sexual relations.

[ConfuZed]

51. Its like catching a priest with his hands down a little boy's pants...

on CNN you just don't expect to see that... on TV that is.

[Vladimir]

71. How is it like that?

I mean, how are Christian sex toy remotely like catching a priest with his hands down a boy's pants? For crying out loud...

[ConfuZed]

86. Okay bad analogy

Its actually like watching christians playing with 'dildos' on a major cable news channel. :sarcasm:

[LightningFlash]

55. Well, the problem is christians versus fundamentalists.

There's alot of fundamentalist nutjobs out there who do something very DIFFERENT with so called christianity (sometimes to the point of worshipping satan,) and they say all sexual expressions are bad and the dinosaurs didn't exist.


They're trying to now re-write history by using republicans and twisted fable logic, that would make the Bible the official doctrine of the planet. In other words, they're out of their minds. And yes these are republicans. Few democrats (even DLC type...) have this view in mind.

[thespiritualzebra]

62. True, it's not nice to ridicule

someone getting in touch with their sexuality. But much Christian thinking involves interference with individual/consensual sexual expression.

[DeepModem Mom]

67. You make a very good point, BeTheChange --

and I'm sorry if the tone of my post made it seem I was opposed to people expressing, and enjoying, their sexuality. It was just a bit shocking to see this story on CNN, emphasizing the sex toy aspect, placed in a Southern, religious context. I wasn't thinking at the time of the bigger-picture issue you've quite validly pointed out.

[BeTheChange]

83. No worries...

It wasn't you. I can just imagine if I would have caught that late last night. It would definately make me snicker. It just seems like here on DU Christians are damned if they do, damned if they dont.

Alot of times I'll see people post about how Christians in the dem party need to step up and take back Christ.. but why would someone want to step up and be ridiculed over and over again by people on both sides of the aisle, ya know? It doesnt give people much incentive.. so they keep the democratic inclined commonsense that most of them have tucked safely away and tow their community's line.

The Lord gave us a body that I think we were meant to use and enjoy, I dont think its un-Christian to explore that... maybe it is unrepublican... but I honestly think that a good number of "republican" Christians aren't understanding what it means to be a republican today. They also are <b>fundamentalist</b> Christians, meaning that they follow the little red words in the bible more closely... not that that believe the dogma they are being sold emphatically.

So to sum it all up, of all the things that DUers like to attack Christianity regarding... I'd just expect the women of DU, the ones who know what its like to be sexually oppressed and the freedom we learn when we do understand and love our body, to find something else to pick about.

[DeepModem Mom]

92. I hear you -- I'm a Christian myself, a member of...

a Protestant denomination that was the last I thought I would feel unwelcome in as a progressive. But it's church by church, now, and diocese by diocese -- and, unfortunately, I live for the first time in a very conservative diocese. We don't know whether to attend, support, and try to change from within, or just stay home.

And I, too, have regretted instances here when Christians are painted with a very broad brush. Again, my apologies if I was guilty of that myself.

[friesianrider]

53. Oh. my. God. I have nothing to say. nt

[iconoclastic cat]

54. Oh, I thought it was like that scene in The Exorcist.

*ducks*

[daleo]

56. Christians believe in the second coming. n/t

[Tesla]

66. and the 3rd

and 4th....hahahaha

[peacebaby3]

63. I've been to a few and even hosted one of these parties

or at least something very similar. I wish I could remember the name of the company! I think it's something like Surprise Co. or something like that.

It's been quite a few years ago, but there was no religious affiliation or discussion at all.

The parties are lots of fun. They give you your order form and pencil with a penis eraser. One of the best toys they ever had was a turbo vibrator - you could put it on the floor and turn it on and it would walk all the way across a room (among other things). Pretty damn impressive.

At one party I bought some Ben-Wa balls. You were suppose to "wear/use" them all day if possible (had to work up to two) but I just couldn't get up the nerve to "wear/use" them out in public because I thought they could be potentially dangerous. I was still in college at the time and all I could think of was what if I coughed or sneezed while sitting in class and one of them shot out across the room! They could have killed someone or at least put an eye out! Would have made a great headline for the student newspaper though.

Ralph, one of my favorites, passed away the other day. The hubby cut off his head. Penis envy!

One of my good friends that went to several with me has moved over to becoming more of a fundie over the last couple of years and when she starts to get a little too much for me, I gently remind her which one of us was stocking up on "anal ease" just a few years ago. It usually shuts her up really quick. Hey, what are good, old friends for, right?

I didn't know they still did these parties. I'm going to see if I can find a rep! I would highly recommend attending if you ever get the chance.

[mongo]

104. Pricing at those parties

tends to be 30-50% higher than your friendly neighborhood lingerie and erotic boutique.

Ralph, one of my favorites, passed away the other day. The hubby cut off his head. Penis envy!

:rofl: :rofl:

One of my good friends that went to several with me has moved over to becoming more of a fundie over the last couple of years and when she starts to get a little too much for me, I gently remind her which one of us was stocking up on "anal ease" just a few years ago. It usually shuts her up really quick. Hey, what are good, old friends for, right?

If you want to be a friend tell her anal ease is nothing but benzocaine and that lanacane at the local drug store is a hell of a lot cheaper.

[Mr_Spock]

68. Uggh, I'm gonna be sick

:D

[Bzzzz]

69. Any chance...

a link could be found for this story??? I would love to post it on my community 'repuke' message board.

[DeepModem Mom]

73. It was a taped report, last night -- I don't see it among the transcripts

at CNN's site, nor have a found a similar web story by searching the site.

[Bzzzz]

87. Yeah...

I looked too, but no luck. :(

[SalmonChantedEvening]

72. Good good good, good vibrations...

Or... bliss by Numbers!

Yes godly folk (and I mean YES YES YES) with these wonderful novelty items, Acts are no longer unnatural! You'll be having the Proverbial time of your nuptial lives! Why, she'll be singing like Solomon in no time! Call (or cry out) Now!! Thou shalt not delay!

Marital relations : It's not just a Job, it's an adventure!


(I am soooo gonna burn for this) :evilgrin:

[hootinholler]

77. Bible belt gets a strap-on?

Best I could do with it. I would like to become a rep please.

In Ga. it isn't illegal to sell sex toys, but it is illegal to talk about them (offer advice) with your customer, go figure.

-Hoot

[onager]

88. I can't believe this link hasn't been posted yet...

http://www.divine-interventions.com/index2.php

[Fuzz]

89. Jesus' blood glow in the dark heated body paint?

Communion Ben-Wa wafers?
The Lamb of God blow up sheep?
Home Crucifixion set?
Sperman on the mount?
King of Solomon fantasy play set?
Bathsheba cross dressing kit?
Porkus Dorcas?
Book: Psalm 69 revisited?
Book: 101 different things you can do on your knees?

[fortyfeetunder]

90. is there a holy water connection?

washing,sprinkling, etc?

[DeaconBlues]

91. the next logical step - Christian pornography

I can't wait to see the video where Ron Jeremy leads everyone in prayer before the gangbang.

[no_hypocrisy]

93. Look at this link. Religious sex toys. I recommend Jackhammer Jesus.

http://www.divine-interventions.com/index2.php

[Dervill Crow]

98. Ick.

Guess I don't have much of a sense of humor.

[Liberal Veteran]

94. The Blessed Virgin Vibromaker?

:rofl:

[LiberallyInclined]

95. The Exorcist mdel vibrating crucifix...

fuck me, jesus...

[ole_evil_eye]

102. georiga born and raised

i'm a gawgia bawy and i love southern women


this however, qualifies as a spit moment. ya know, where you hear something so incredible you spit out your drink.

very funny though

[DeepModem Mom]

112. HI, eye! Welcome to DU!

[CityZen-X]

105. Linda Blair

used one in the "Exorcist"!

[baldguy]

106. Seems to me...

that bible-belt MEN need to "feel comfortable with their sexuality".

[Bouncy Ball]

107. You sure they're not talking about "Pure Romance" parties?

Or something like that? I've been to two of those and there's no religious angle at all (in fact, women from across the political spectrum attend). We had frozen drinks, snacks, looked at the stuff, laughed really hard and bought stuff. Then went home with our purchases.

But in Texas it's illegal to sell.....massage-type things.

Anyway, I hadn't heard any religious angle.

[Ilsa]

110. So, what's the difference between Christian sex toys and

the sex toys of DUers (and the rest of the planet)? Do they have scriptures inscribed? Prayers to be chanted before or after?

[DeepModem Mom]

113. These products did not appear to have religious symbols, shapes...

or inscriptions.

[kliljedahl]

114. Look at post 111

[kliljedahl]

111. Well there is this:

And this:



Keith’s Barbeque Central

[BeTheChange]

115. These are not christian toys

Here are some other products from that very nonchristian company.





Here is the description of the first dildo you posted:
Jesus fucking Christ. Literally. This extremely blasphemous dildo features a fairly realistic dickhead at the tip, and a crucifix complete with a figure of our crucified Lord at the base. A very hefty dildo with lots of ridges and bulges, it's perfect for playing debauched priest, naughty nun, or re-enacting The Exorcist. The Blowfishies are all convinced that we're going straight to hell for carrying this toy; if you want to join us on the trip, we can't think of a better way than buying one for yourself. 10" total length (7-1/4" insertable length), 1-1/2" in diameter at the head, 1-3/4" in diameter at the widest insertable point (Jesus's knees). Do note that the shape of this dildo means it can't be used with a harness. Glow-in-the-Dark White (a pearlescent white).

That sounds like a Christian company to me.. How underhanded it is to try to sensationalize something like this. Ugh.

[Ioo]

116. *Warning* In very poor taste.

I saw a product called Jackhammer Jesus...

Links to it...

http://www.divine-interventions.com/jackhammer.html

http://www.smittenkittenonline.com/product.php?itemid=40&BC2=3&BC3=3

It was so funny..

I warned you...

[LibertyorDeath]

117. What did you think they meant by

"your own personal Jesus" ;-)

[madeline_con]

119. What's right & wrong...

I found this
http://www.themarriagebed.com/whatisokay.shtml