Can't we fight the Sharks over There so we don't have to over here?

[mopaul]

i'm just sayin', these crazy sharks are simply terrorists and cold blooded killers who hate us for our resemblance to sea lions.

i call for a global war on sharks.

[BurtWorm]

1. They're in their last throes.

Don't worry!

[freedomburn]

2. Hilarious, funny, funny stuff man. I love DU. ;D

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

3. A constitutional amendment

is needed to keep those sharks away from the coastline! :)

[hootinholler]

4. Now wait a minute..

There aren't any sea lions in the Gulf of Mexico. We can't go invading the Gulf if they had nothing to do with 911

-Hoot

[mopaul]

7. wahabi walruses! In-Seal-gents! Saddam HuSea Lion!

[justinsb]

22. I knew disney was up to something

the Little Mermaid is pure treason, they're helping the enemy

[AmBlue]

73. omg!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

This would make one flat out funny-ass letter to the editor!!!

[SteppingRazor]

5. And so, y'see, we've got to invade Australia.

Or at least, the Great Barrier Reef. Heh heh. Reef. See, that's where the sharks are. Heh heh. Now watch this dive.

[justinsb]

6. I hear Iran is harbouring and supporting Sharks

and that some of them are being allowed to sneak across the Syrian border

[mopaul]

10. shiite and shia sharks are gathering on the shores

[Canuckistanian]

8. The real problem is all these foreign sharks

They're making trouble for all the peace-loving sharks.

[mopaul]

13. and the suicide bomber sharks, and the hummer head sharks

[linazelle]

77. In-SURGE-ent Sharks???!!!! Gasp. <<biting nails>>

[Nostradammit]

9. mopaul strikes again!!!

If I survive the Bush regime it will be in no small part to your humor, sir.

[mondo joe]

11. They hate us for our freedom.

Maybe we should baptize a few!

[mopaul]

15. they're fairly close to gitmo, throw out some chum

[BrainRants]

12. Florida is the central front in the war on sharks! n/t

[justinsb]

14. The fight won't be over until the sharks have

free and fair elections.

[mopaul]

16. the sharks are floundering in the middle east

[maveric]

17. bu$h will ask congress for 20 million for the "War on Sharks" tomorrow.

"We cannot let our white women be eaten by the evil shark menace that plagues our country today".

[mopaul]

18. "Sharkawi barely evades capture"!

last seen swimming off on one fin and a harpoon in his lung

[mopaul]

20. Sharkawi! Ho boy, I even crack MYSELF up

[justinsb]

19. The Airports have NO shark detectors!

Alert homeland security

[justinsb]

21. They've struck again already!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x1585834

[mopaul]

23. this is all clinton's fault for not keeping our borders secure

[justinsb]

27. we need MORE water pollution dammit

Environmentalists are trying to destroy Amerika.

[Pithy Cherub]

24. But, but, but, the sharks are TERRIFYING the people of Kansas,

Nebraska, Montana, Idaho, Arkansas, Tennessee, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Iowa, Vermont, North & South Dakota, Illinois, Wyoming, Utah, West Virgina, Oklahoma, Missouri, New Hampshire, and Colorado!

The people of all of these landlocked states are petrified:scared: because the media whores said they should be! Shark Alert system on Code RED! :hide:

[mopaul]

28. what's stopping the sharks from coming right up the mississippi?

and branching out onto the missouri and it's tributaries?

[Pithy Cherub]

34. LOL! Our inherently perfect minute men sea/river/lake patrol.

Then our secret weapon of freshwater (now posioned perfectly by the Clean Water Act)being outflowing into the mercury filled salt water...homeland security at its finest. :rofl:

[mopaul]

36. Frankenfish got through the vigilantes on the mississip

so could Sharkawi and his fanatical barricuda battalions

[Pithy Cherub]

52. You are fixing the facts around the intelligence!

The Shark Mississipi Minutes clearly show there was only one known breach that was to infest the river with other species first and set up the intelligence to let the American neocon's dam the Mississippi in order to stop our economic freedoms...

The frakenfish were lured by yellowcake in Lake Erie...

[mopaul]

55. now listen here cherub chum,

the whole story is fishy at best.

[Pithy Cherub]

60. We need volunteer chum! LOL! You drafted me that won't count!

Ambassador Walleye took a trip to Lake Erie - he say the lures and the hooks were empty. Bob Niciose printed the anonymouse story in his favorite fishwrap amd HORRORS! sold out our best secret spy dolphin who is a WMD expert! Now the shark patrol have seen how many chums have died and are having an issue recruiting. The strategic shrimp plan is to bring the shark terrorist threat closer in order to drive up chum numbers...

BUT NO ONE IS FOCUSED ON THE HEAD SHARK: OSAMA bin ORCA!

[maveric]

40. NH is not a "landlocked" state.

There's about 25 miles of ocean shoreline. Seabrook, Hampton, Rye and Portsmouth.

[Pithy Cherub]

46. New Hampshire is the secret port that's been letting in

all the shark terrorists? We have a secret training facility right here in the US? Oh, my, i will give due consideration to that 25 miles that needs to be immediately barricaded to stop the shark threat! :rofl:

Thanks, my map is now appropriately updated and the homeland security sharkshooter swat teams are on the way!

[Imagevision]

25. BUSH: "Bring em on"

[mopaul]

31. now, don't BAIT them

[mopaul]

26. these sharks were trained by the c.i.a. in the early 80's

and then they turned on us the bastards

[PermanentRevolution]

29. What about Sea World?

It's a shark training camp, RIGHT HERE IN THE US! BOMB IT NOW!

[mopaul]

33. they have killer whales there too, who also hate us for our freedoms

[quisp]

30. where do I sign up?

I can't wait to start killing those remora eel wearing terraists!

[justinsb]

32. We need a fish watch list

some of them could be sleepers pretending to be Tuna

[mopaul]

35. great white Profiling, any swarthy looking foreign sharks go to gitmo

[justinsb]

37. Well the White sharks will likely get

the benefeit of the doubt.

[mopaul]

38. these radical sharks worship a false Cod

[Cats Against Frist]

48. Nominating -- for something.

[haktar]

39. OK let's start operation Jabberjaw

and kill all whales.
By selling them to japan the war will pay itself.:sarcasm:

[EnfantTerrible]

41. This is not a joke, sir!

Those sharks don't value human life. They don't share our values. They have links to Al Qaeda as well as other organized terrorist organisms. I've seen Jaws, sir... seen it up close... and I know what these GODLESS KILLERS ARE CAPABLE OF!!!!!!!!

[mopaul]

43. al-qaeda AND al-tuna

they eat their own neighbors, and harbor serrated teeth of mass destruction.

[EnfantTerrible]

45. You go ahead and make mock, sir...

but don't come running to me when your legs are bitten off with those STMD's!

[justinsb]

42. And to think the Libruls wanted to take our guns away

how are we expected to safely bathe if we're unarmed?

[mopaul]

44. shark tape all the windows

[justinsb]

47. I think I've I.D.'d the ring leader

[mopaul]

50. and his top general, al-jabber sharkawi

[justinsb]

51. And they've just released this recording

http://ultrawarp.com/chevy/snl/candygram.wav

[mopaul]

53. has that been authenticated by the Sea eye A?

[justinsb]

54. Yes, and apparently they've decided

based on the code word "Candygram" to bomb the F* out of Hershey as a precaution.

[mopaul]

49. Shark Faud Abdullah seen lurking offshore

[mondo joe]

56. Liberals just want to understand the sharks and get them counseling

But the conservatives want to BE them.

[mopaul]

58. could we indict the sharks to appear before a tribunal of tuna?

if we could negotiate with moderate reef sharks or even manta rays, maybe they'll shark each other out

[friesianrider]

57. Which is why we NEED TO GO AFTER STING RAYS.

They consistently hang around and support these blood-thirsty, American-hating sharks. If we don't attack now to defend the nation, the African government has recently learned that sting rays have recently sought significant quantities of jellyfish from the eastern seaboard - which can be used to kill thousands of Americans.

The time to act is NOW. You're either with us or you're with the sting rays.

[mopaul]

59. I understand North Korea has Flukes

why aren't we invading THEM?

[mopaul]

61. president fish to address nation tues. regarding war on sharks

he'll announce a limited trout withdrawal and ask for national resolve to get this fishing expedition fin-ished.

[demgurl]

62. Did you honestly have to post this?

The next thing you know, someone will jokingly mention this post around shrub and then he will take it seriously. We will be in a 'real' war against those darn sharks. You forget that chimp is commander in stupid, be careful what you suggest!

[mopaul]

63. it takes a man with real --lls to say it.

gills that is

[MisterP]

74. yeah, it would be a shame if he tried to lobotomize himself too

(never mind, too late)

[jhain]

64. Be on the look out!

Be on the look out!

Must be a Great White.

White, 200 pounds, hair “high and tight,” chest “46’ Usually Shaved or Clipped,” and under “Weapon” it says "8 inches cut."

That's the fin, of course.

[KlatooBNikto]

65. Are you talking about Fat Tony, my neighborhood loan shark?

Edit: He hates everybody and everything.

[jhain]

66. guess again n/t

[tridim]

67. The Jets are in gear,

Our cylinders are clickin'!
The Sharks'll steer clear
'Cause ev'ry Puerto Rican 's a lousy chicken!

Geez, I never realized how dumb West Side Story lyrics were.

[mopaul]

68. iwanttobeinamerica everythingsfreeinamerica okbymeinamerica

i want to be in amer eeeeeeeeee kaaaaaaa

[Lilith Velkor]

78. lifeisalrightinamerica foragreatwhiteinamerica

Gotta watch out for that shark propaganda, they can be subtle

[ksilvas]

69. Save my Baby! SAVE MY BABY!

[mopaul]

71. duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH,

[maddiejoan]

70. Y'all know me.

Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

[mopaul]

72. we won't pay it! get that filthy man out of here.

(pay the man)

"Sharkawi not seen in Florida area for months"

[kohodog]

75. Yeah. but the shark insurgency could last 12 years.

I don't remember if I mentioned that to Bunnypants though. It's unknowable.

[Jim Sagle]

76. How about missing blonde girls? Can we fight them too?

Or at least wrassle rhem? :9

[Lilith Velkor]

79. No, not till you find 'em.

You go right ahead, I'll look for redheads and Latinas. :evilgrin: