Help the Freepers!!! Give them reasons why they can't serve.

[smartvoter]

Freepers clearly did not like being asked to serve tonight. They pulled the thread. But they should have engaged the person who challenged them to serve. Let's give them some excuses to use.

Here's one to start:

"Dying for a lie is for other people."

[barackmyworld]

1. only have one eye, tooth

[LynnTheDem]

13. That won't work; "One-eyed Sniper will Return to Iraq"...his THIRD tour

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2005/06/29/news/columnists/another_tilt/62705194244.txt

[Jon_da_brockman]

2. "I support the war

only if it is OTHER people who are dying."

[nadinbrzezinski]

3. You crazy, I could get killed doing that?

Or my all time favorite....

I am needed here to push the policy.

[ComerPerro]

71. "I help by supproting the war here at home"

:puke:

[SammyWinstonJack]

89. I need to work and pay taxes, that's more important!

I've actually heard them claim that staying here and paying taxes is the best way to support the war and the troops. Don't they bitch about having to pay taxes, don't they try to get out of paying taxes? :crazy: They hate their tax dollars going to pay for the societal needs at home but don't mind throwing billions to liberate people whom they have never really given a second thought too, and under any other circumstance, couldn't care less about. Yeah right! Nice try, freeptards.

[ComerPerro]

91. And, doesn't the military pay them?

[SammyWinstonJack]

94. Yes through tax dollars, is that what you were asking?

I just find it ironic that they are unwilling to support the troops in any other way but through their tax dollars to liberate a country whose inhabitants they couldn't care less about, but are not willing to support the underprivileged in their own country. They are willing to fund public schools for Iraqis, but not public schools for Americans? They are willing to have their tax dollars pay for health care for Iraqis but not for Americans? And so on and so on. The rank and file repukes are willing to spend whatever it takes to 'liberate' the Iraqis and we should since we destroyed their country and and all that that encompasses, but that same group expects all Americans to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and if they can't, too damn bad! Blows me away.

[ComerPerro]

93. Taxes? For what? To generate revenue? Why do we need that?

Bush is spending more than he has revenue to justify anyway. So what does it matter if we miss their tax money?

[Mairead]

77. That one HAS to be tongue-in-cheek -- NObody could be that braindead

...for real, not and still be breathing on their own.

[senseandsensibility]

4. there's always their hero's excuse:

anal cyst.

[BurtWorm]

5. There's not enough armor in the world to cover their fat asses.

[cynatnite]

6. god told me not to n/t

[oasis]

7. We'll sign up right after Jenna and Barbara start boot camp.

[Stirk]

8. If the Lord leads me there, I will go. But for now he says to

jerk off to internet porn and eat 5 grilled cheese sandwiches every day.

[alittlelark]

53. AMEN.... praise Jesus!!!!

Were you in the revival tent last weekend?

[ComerPerro]

72. That's what the lord tells me to do too!

[teach1st]

9. I'm giving much more support...

...by posting dumb crap at Free Republic than I ever could actually enlisting and fighting.

[wtmusic]

10. "It's like hiring a plumber...I pay other folks to do the work for me"

--actual reason given to wtmusic from a freeper client

[dummy-du1]

11. Anal cysts n/t

[nonconformist]

12. "I would, but the military is over-crowded with minorities"

"I can better serve my country by typing one-handed on FreeRepublic all day long"

[Spider Jerusalem]

14. "War is like football."

"I like to watch. I'll cheer my team on. But I'm NOT gonna get off my ass and get on the field; it's more fun to sit on the couch with a beer and watch it on television."

[LightningFlash]

15. What about the ones who serve in the military?

Lots of them are just as concerned about the war as any of you. The ones who serve see things as they go one day at a time, and don't have any choice but to trust in the war. Criticizing those troops who are on the other side only makes them unable to do their job.

Leadership simply has to be altered asap :thumbsdown:

[mcctatas]

18. I believe this is excuses for the freepers who told the person who

posted links to help them enlist to "get lost troll", not those who have already made the sacrifice to serve our country.

[LightningFlash]

21. Yeah, me too.

I was simply seeing where this guy was coming from.

[smartvoter]

25. Yes, it's for chickenhawks. nt

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

16. "Ain't Much of a Livin' in Dyin'." The True Reason.

[mcctatas]

17. "that's just what all them dadgum libruls wants us to do...

they hope we step on one of them IUD's and gets blowed up so's we can't never vote fer anuther God fearing republican again"..or if they don't like that one there is always the "I had other priorities at the time" excuse that they let their fearless chicken hawk leaders get away with.

[cynatnite]

20. IUDs!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[punpirate]

19. Humming the tune to...

... Phil Ochs' "Draft Dodger Rag," here goes:

"My dog needs me."

"Don't need the money. The truck's paid off."

"I have better things to do."

"Aren't there still plenty of unemployed inner-city people available?"

"I'm keeping the 7/11 together. It'd fall apart without me."

"My President needs my support and so do the troops. Someone on the internet has to defend them."

"I already have a full wardrobe of camo."

"If I didn't already have a bunch of guns of my own, I might think about it."

"Iraq's just too hot. I get the pricklies when I sweat."

"They already have more than enough officers, and I'm officer material."

"When those weenie liberals sign up, so will I."

[smartvoter]

22. "I talk tough, but deep down I'm a chickenshit coward." nt

[In Truth We Trust]

23. "I can't; my kids mom is sick and my mom needs me there for the kids"

[Momgonepostal]

24. "I needed just another 10 IQ points to make the cut"

[alittlelark]

54. ROTFLMAO!!!

:rofl:

[Momgonepostal]

26. "I'm already doing my part by plastering my SUV with...

stickers that say 'support the troops' and Bush/cheney."

[Gold Metal Flake]

27. "My wife/girlfriend has my testicles".

[Gold Metal Flake]

28. "This new truck ain't gonna drive itself"

[Gold Metal Flake]

29. "How can go into the military when they are letting gays marry in Canada?"

[Gold Metal Flake]

30. "I can't find my wallet!"

[Gold Metal Flake]

31. "I'm a keyboard commando!"

[ComerPerro]

76. With the 101st Keyboardists?

[Gold Metal Flake]

32. "There's a new group on freshmen to whail on"

[Gold Metal Flake]

33. "My daddy said the service if for hicks, poor people and morons"

[Gold Metal Flake]

34. "I'm nothing without ten hours of sleep"

[Gold Metal Flake]

35. "I have fair skin. I burn easily"

[Erika]

36. I should let the poor join to get an education

I have the funds so I am trying to be nice to them.

[lonestarnot]

37. I have to make time to spend all the money daddy gave me that is tax free.

The money that we stole from you taxpayers!

[KeepItReal]

38. Because Bush did not ask them to serve

He only said "if you are already considering military service" then sign on up.

He was not trying to encourage anybody who had not considered military service.

[lonestarnot]

40. He knows the draft is on it's way!

[Gold Metal Flake]

39. "Uh, fuck you!"

[Gold Metal Flake]

41. "You fag liberals like the terrorist so much you go serve! Hah hah hah!"

"Yeah, you go serve, that's a good one" says his little buddy.

[Gold Metal Flake]

42. "I can't. I just made night manager"

[nonconformist]

57. *snicker* nt

[Gold Metal Flake]

43. "I'm already in the Army. The Army of the warrior Jesus"

[Gold Metal Flake]

44. "I don't want anyone looking at my ass in the shower"

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

81. "I don't want anyone looking at my DICK in the shower.

The reason? Well, let's just say I have a Hummer and lots of guns."

[Erika]

45. As Cheney said "he has other priorities"

No one certainly has put him down for running from duty. But his wife wants to write about American patriotism? What a first class joke.

[Gold Metal Flake]

49. "Yeah. I have other priorities! Hah! hah hah yeah! (Slaps 5 with friend)

friend: "Yeah. We have other fucking priorities you liberal fag"

[ComerPerro]

78. LOL

You must know a lot of college Republicans.

[Gold Metal Flake]

46. "I can't get my three daily 882 ounce Big Gulps over there"

[Gold Metal Flake]

47. "No. I might actually have to do some fucking work"

[Gold Metal Flake]

48. "No. I'm a worthless, fat, pasty, white, hateful pile of shit"

[smartvoter]

50. LOL. Don't hold back -- give it to us straight. nt

[fujiyama]

51. They shit too much in their pants

like their hero Ted Nugent.

[alittlelark]

52. "I want to live to run for office"

[The_Casual_Observer]

55. Almost to a man they will tell you that they served 20 years.

Telling lies about military service is about as common as deflated golf scores.

[ComerPerro]

79. True. A lot of them will lie and say "I served"

and they will probably go as far as making up some really farfetched story about some crazy shit that happened to them during "the war".

But ask em to prove it, and they won't have a thing to show you.

[stanwyck]

87. This happens all the time

at another board (yes, occasionally I'm unfaithful) there's a guy who claims he lost a leg in Iraq. But his story is so pathetic even I can see through it. First, he refers to getting "hurt" in Iraq. Not wounded, but "hurt". Losing a leg. (he says he was in the Navy...in Fallujah....and attended to by Marine (!) medical personnel.) He didn't receive a medical discharge....but he couldn't remain because he could no longer stay on ship with one leg.
Look. Not even the Swiftboat Liars would believe this guy.

[Broken_Hero]

56. I got a few...

1. My mommy wont let me.
2. My skin reacts badly to the sun.
3. My daddy served, so I don't have too...
4. I'm to important to my click of wannabe friends to go.
5. God told me in a vision, i can't go, i'm destined for something else.
6. I can't go because i'm afraid of dying, and I don't want to die, in a war that i support, but wont' go fight.

ha, reason six, it will never be used....

[smartvoter]

61. #6 is dead on. nt

[deutsey]

58. "I need to stay here just in case they need to join a search party

if a local pretty white woman goes missing."

[ComerPerro]

82. Great picture!!!!!!!

Seriously, I still can't stop laughing!!!

[NMMNG]

59. "If we all go off to Iraq the homosexuals will push their agenda through"

[Gold Metal Flake]

60. Any more?

[VOX]

62. "Isn't there an underclass that will do all the fighting for us Freepers?"

"I mean, WE don't have to get OUR hands bloody, now, do we?" :sarcasm:
:nuke:

[chopper]

63. "depends, do they have cheetos in iraq?"

n/t

[ksilvas]

64. Drinking a case of Bud and talking shit bout liberals helps the economy!

[mondo joe]

65. "If Freepers die in a failed war, only liberals will be left to vote!"

[BringEmOn]

66. Who will service the sheep?

or stump-break the new heifers?
or milk the stallions?
or plug the watermelons?

[BringEmOn]

67. But..but, my brother JimBob might run off with cousin Ellie Mae

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

68. "Muh trigger finger is stuck in muh nose."

[BringEmOn]

69. I gotta stay here so I can call my "megadildoes" in to Rush every mornin'.

[Lowell]

70. I can't go, I'm a bedwetter.

A more honest answer would be I'm as big a coward as the CIC.

[Individualist]

73. I'm to skeered ta go

[obreaslan]

74. I am serving....

I joined the Texas Air National Guard. I'm taking some time off to work on a friend's campaign, but I will do my duty when i get back...

Oh wait, that's been used before hasn't it? :evilgrin:

[kiki]

75. To quote the writer/artist Daniel Clowes:

- "Someone ought to do something!"

- "I would, except for one thing."

- "What's that?"

- "I'm a pussy."

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

80. "When the draft comes we'll control it so only u libruls will get killed.

End of cannon fodder shortage, AND less votes for the DemonRATS. What's not to like?"

[ComerPerro]

84. I've actually heard and seen FReeper-types argue

that liberals should have to go and fight, because we oppose the war and we oppose Bush.

:wtf:

That doesn't even make sense!

[kwolf68]

83. Plenty of excuses

They will always say they want to go, but have some sort of undisclosed injury that prevents it.

[Ksec]

85. Because they have boils on their hineys.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

86. Who else is gonna sign these form letters of outrage?

Bozell chained me to this PC in 1999!! And by gum, he're I'll stay!

[democrat_patriot]

88. I broke a nail, could take years to heal.

Plus I have to stay here and call Liberals weak.

[librechik]

90. needed at home in my essential job wiping GOP butts

have to alternate with freeper cleaning brown off noses...

[Darkhawk32]

92. Anal Cyst!! Oh wait. Rush took that one. n/t

[mvd]

95. They'd probably think up some lame excuse like

"it's too far away."

[Blue_Tires]

96. "but who will guard the border to keep the evil messikans out???"

[Uncle Joe]

97. My mommy read the Downing Street Memos to me n/t