Strange Republican Prophecy

[maynard]

I was at a 4th of July barbecue with a majority of evangelicals. One conversation began with the predictions for the next 3/4 months. I didn't get a chance to see the print-out (computer). I kept asking who this guy was and what were his credentials, but they couldn't answer any questions about something that had been passed around on a piece of paper.

The points being made were these:

1. Bush is the right man for the job because he Prays to God.
2. Mike Tyson will become an Evangelist now that he has sunk to
to the lowest point in his life. When you are at the bottom,
the only option is to go to the top.
3. If Americans had supported the troops in Vietnam, we would
have won in Vietnam.
4. We are loosing Iraq because people are not supporting the troops.
5. The war in Iraq is God's war. He wants us to help make them
free. W. was only doing what God wanted.
6. They hate us because they are jealous of our freedom.
7. In 3/4 months all things in the world will be resolved.

I jumped in and said that I thought they hated us because of American Foreign Policy. Shocked looks were had by all.
I was very proud of a young man about 24 years of age. He challenged his aunt and told her that he hates it when people try to convince him that they are right and also refuse to allow him to say his point of view. He told her that people like that are brainwashed.

So, if we take that point of view, let's all sit back and let the world come to an end. These people are nuts. If they want religion,, they should go back to mainstream religion. These internet Evangelists are nuts. The people who listen to them are even more demented.

[EstimatedProphet]

1. Why do you hang out with people like that?

Why spend time with the certifiably insane?

[elehhhhna]

4. Hey! He hangs out w/ them over THERE, so WE don't have to

hang out with them over HERE.

I applaud him. A brave, brave DU'er, fersure!

[Redstone]

23. You're right, he's Taking One For The Team.

And I appreciate his sacrifice. I could not have been in his situation and stayed so calm.

Redstone

[maynard]

5. It wasn't my choice

I am friends with the host's sister. She invites her church to the party. They wind up with about 300 people in her huge backyard. I hide out in the kitchen with the lone beer drinkers. The aunt came in and tried to start a conversation. Only the nephew reacted and told her what he thought of her prophecy's.

[elehhhhna]

24. Nuthin' attracts Gods Chosen Ones like free food.

[patrice]

2. I'd like to see whom they give "charitable + church related" taxdeductions

and donations and whom they do business with in their daily lives.

Churches ARE Businesses.

[maynard]

6. not charitable with clean-up

I always stay and help clean-up. It is the charitable thing to do. Only 3 guests stayed to help. In previous year, we have at least 10 people in the small kitchen trying to do dishes. I was very disgusted with their attitudes. Of course the hostess, (Melanie from Gone with the Wind) just smiled and let it happen.

[patrice]

10. My son could tell stories, but we don't talk about it anymore.

He was surprised at some people's manners when he worked for a large, old, well endowed church downtown.

[Orrex]

3. Two points

1. If Tyson becomes an Evangelist, then it will prove that, even when you've hit bottom, you can still sink lower.

2. If all things will be resolved in 3/4 months (is that three-or-four months or 75% of a month, by the way?), does that mean that I refinanced my Student Loans for nothing?

[getmeouttahere]

7. Aren't the fundies ALWAYS saying....

the end times are near?

[maynard]

8. Halloween

I predict by Halloween before I get to say, "I told you so".

[zbdent]

9. It's their best sales pitch

Best racket in the world.

Tell the people that they're all sinners - make them feel bad - then suck up to them and "give them salvation" - all within an hour (usually - not counting the full-weekend revivals).

People tend to give more if you suck up to them.

Imagine how much you would rake in if all you told the people was that they were scum.

Gallagher (the comedian) had a great BS line - (not exactly verbatim) - "You folks are here because you are the top .01 percent!" meaning that they were "smart enough" to spend money to go see him . . .

[patrice]

15. Get invited around to the "best" homes. Have everyone respect you,

no questions asked, job security for life (asuaging everyone's stress with pretty stories, which could be Meaningful - but are usually more related to pizza parties, and hot-and-cold running Barbies and M&Ms these days).

Let's see, what else:
Have everyone you meet desire to give you gifts.
Everyone shuts up and listens to you wherever you go.
Physical attractiveness really pays off.
Lots of free food.
People ask you questions.
You tell them what to do.

Oh what the heck, I think I have a religious vocation too! :sarcasm:

[Javaman]

21. that's 3 quarters of the time the world has left to exist...

the rest is up to the rwingnuts to figure out the math.

anyday now, anyday, blam! splat! kablooie! your either a briquet or saved.

what a way to live. they need to get a life and have sex more than once every 10 years.

[KamaAina]

11. "The war in Iraq is God's war"?

Isn't that just what the fanatic terrorists said about 9/11, and presumably about London as well?

It doesn't matter whether the cover faith is Islam, Christianity or, for all we know, Zoroastrianism: a theofascist is a theofascist is a theofascist.

[ucmike]

12. #5 makes me wretch

5. The war in Iraq is God's war. He wants us to help make them
free. W. was only doing what God wanted.


i thought our elections were to elect officials who represent the will of the american people? i didn't realize that god voted.

so bush won the election 1-0, if god voted for bush. if thats the case, why did we have all that vote counting?

[maynard]

14. He prays to God!

I pray too, but I don't start wars.

[patrice]

18. They have to die to be Free.

The New Testament never happened.

Mammon demands, "Give us your flesh."

[Julius Civitatus]

20. Yup... God wanted Abu Ghraib?

Did God tell Bush to arrest random people (including women and children) and torture them in those notorious prisons?

Did God specifically wanted Chimpy to pick random people, vastly innocent pedestrians in the wrong place at the wrong time, arrest them without charges, then torture them for unclear reasons?

These people are increasingly more insane. The more I see this shit and where they are driving us, the more I'm moving away from religion. I feel almost completely atheist as of late.

What kind of blood-lust religion are these freaks worshiping?

[getmeouttahere]

22. I know exactly how you feel....

if it's even remotely about christianity or religion in general, I run away, sometimes screaming!

[Straight Shooter]

13. The Bible warns against false prophets. eom

[patrice]

16. Right On!!

[stepnw1f]

17. I Worked With A Crackpot Evangelical Born Again

What a mess. This guy listened to these televangelists constantly. He always had to inject his weird cult perspective on things. The guy couldn't even write. Being uneducated is one thing, but this guy was just downright lazy and ignorant.

[4_TN_TITANS]

19. I couldn't do it......

I'd have told them all off and walked out the door. Then again, I wouldn't have been socializing with 300 fundi bushbots to begin with.