The Andy Stephenson Memorial Service Thread - Info

[claudiajean]

Hello good folks,

I spent the better part of Friday with Termite and Andy's Mom and lovely sisters Charlie and Georgia Anne, who are, of course, all devastated, and yet are finding strength from the kindnesses of friends, both those they know in person, and those they are learning of as they have moments to read the kind words y'all have left on DU.

I wish I could say that the visit was entirely a social call, but of course, there were arrangements to be made and tasks to complete. Once we had been able to take some deep breaths and make some firm progress with arrangements, Termite asked me if I could take care of posting this thread with the specifics of the service and some general info.

Many of you have already heard from the Seattle Weekly article posted in another thread that the memorial will be next Saturday, July 16, at 2:00 in the afternoon, here in Seattle, Washington. Many thanks to George Howland of the Weekly for writing and posting Andy's obituary so quickly. It will appear in the print version of the Seattle Weekly that will be on the newsstands here in Seattle starting next Wednesday.

We will be gathering at a meeting hall called "Town Hall" near the downtown area of Seattle. The exact address is 1119 Eighth Ave, Seattle, WA, but is better described to a cab driver or anyone helping you with directions as the corner of Eighth & Seneca on First Hill in Seattle.

The program will begin with a traditional memorial service, led by Pastor Arthur from Virgina Mason Hospital, who was such a comfort to Andy and his family during Andy's final days. There will be a few featured eulogies, of which our own Will Pitt will be the keynote eulogist, followed by an open podium, so that anyone who wishes might briefly share their warm memories of Andy.

Immediately following the service, which we expect to run 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours, depending upon how many folks wish to share, we will have a gathering hour at the same location, with light refreshments and an opportunity to spend some social time with Andy's friends from far and near.

For those of you coming from out of town, I'm sure many of us will be re-uniting in the evening for a casual dinner and some refreshing beverages to celebrate Andy's life. The Seattle contingent would be honored to show you the city he loved.

I've seen a lot of flower conversation on some threads (and I don't begin to claim to have read them all), and I thought I should share these notes: Thanks to the kindness of many friends, Ted and Andy's house is full of flowers right now. In most ways it is very touching, but it is also getting a little overwhelming. (All of the flowers from the hospital are home now, as well.) You might want to hold off for a few days, if any of you were thinking of sending more right now.

As far as sending flowers to the service: "Town Hall" is a professional meeting and forum venue in Seattle. It plays host to charity balls, fundraising auctions, author appearances and lectures, large government hearings, etc. Al Franken spoke there just a couple of months ago. It is a lovely location, and one of the reasons we selected it is that Andy gave a well-received presentation there last year. A meeting space of the people is just the environment in which we all will remember Andy well.

While Town Hall is many wonderful things, a funeral chapel it is not. If you wish to personally send flowers for the service, I think we will have to provide an address at which they can be delivered either Friday or Saturday before 11:30am, and then us local folks can transport them over, as we do not have the venue for set up until noon, so flowers cannot be timely delivered directly to Town Hall by florists. This is a detail that I will have to talk over with some local folks and get back to you on, probably Monday afternoon.

We would like to do one large centerpiece arrangement - a wreath or such, for the service, and would welcome donations to defray the costs. Actually, donations to defray the costs of the entire celebration of Andy's life would be welcome. Town Hall gave us their lowest "at cost" rate - basically, we are being charged for set-up, clean-up, sound technician, and food handling license, but it is still a few hundred dollars. Andy's Mom has a budget and expects to pay, but it would be awfully nice if we could surprise her and defray some of the expenses for her. (I don't have a PayPal address set up for this, but if the feedback in the comments has support for this idea, and if it is approved first by the Admins, I will go ahead and do so, and also provide a snail mail address.)

I'm mindful that many of you very recently donated to Andy's surgery fund, for which we are all grateful. Please do not feel that this is another trip to the well, that you are pressured to partake in. But many folks on other threads have expressed a desire to help with funeral costs, and this would be the way, if you wish to do so.

My last note is regarding photos of Andy - there are a lot popping up as tributes which is wonderful. But please keep in mind that under that amazingly resilient, outgoing exterior, Andy, like all of us, had his fragilities. Andy liked some photos of himself, and was truly repelled by others. (I think we have all been there...)

There are also some that he may have liked in the past, but were photo-shopped over on the website that shall not be named and whose authors shall burn in hell, and other sites, and really hurt his feelings. This also destroyed his appreciation of certain photos of himself.

The photo that Andy was very vocal about wanting used for obituaries and remembrances is the one of him in the black suit and dark tie, that accompanies the Seattle Weekly article. It was taken to accompany an article about his candidacy for Secretary of State, and in many ways represents a culmination of years of activism. It is not just a nice picture, but it also filled him with pride to remember where it came from.

A couple of things about this image. It is the property of the Seattle Weekly, and the copyright is theirs. They have granted their permission for it to be used for obits and the service program earlier today, and I feel confident that if Termite or I ask the art director, that we can receive clearance to use it on DU as an avatar or tag or however else you might want to respectfully use it. BUT WE DO NOT HAVE THAT PERMISSION YET. I will try to reach them first thing on Monday to get this squared away for y'all.

Also, Andy's personal cell phone has been turned off, so to call that number is in vain.

So that's about it. If you have any general questions, please feel free to post, and I will try to respond timely (although please be kind, as there is much work to do, and I won't be home at a computer for stretches this weekend.) If you have questions of a more personal nature, please feel free to PM me, but I'd ask up to 24 hours for response, due to volume and time away from the computer.

In solidarity with you all and Andy, whose spirit remains with us,

CJ

edited after I confirmed with Will

[RummyTheDummy]

1. ?

Will there be an obit published in the Seattle Times? I want these fucks who harassed Andy to see it for their own eyes.

[claudiajean]

5. Yes, there will be a "formal" obituary in both the Times and the PI, and

..possibly an article in each, as well.

But the funeral home is handling the traditional style obit.

[RummyTheDummy]

7. Thanks for answering my question

I know you have a lot on your plate right now.

[claudiajean]

8. Hey, 3:00am my time may be the only time to catch me, :) n/t

[WilliamPitt]

2. Pls. check your PM

and thanks.

[claudiajean]

4. Done. Back at 'cha... n/t

[KitchenWitch]

3. Recommended!

:kick:

[cynatnite]

6. nominated n/t

[EFerrari]

9. Hi there, Claudiajean, I'm so glad Ted has someone to help

move through this moment.

Some two quick suggestions.

1. If Andy's mom is to be helped, we need an account that is accessible to us -- Paypal, or Amazon (better because more secure).

2. If Ted would prefer respects to be paid in other than flowers, he might let us know what his preference is. Does he have a charity or cause that he supports where we could send our pennies.

Thank you for what you are doing and please give my love to Ted.

best,
Beth

[claudiajean]

10. Thanks, and both good thoughts,

1. Correct on the PP account. It's just not set up yet, as there was too much to handle today (You would not believe the logistics, and of course, we're in no shape to tie our shoes, let alone make huge decisions.) WP just reached out to help coordinate that, so we'll update soon.

2. We're going to talk about that tomorrow. This morning we had a sense that so many people had already helped during your successful drive, that we might ask only for best wishes, but so many people, both locally and DUer's have asked for a charity, that it might be wise to designate a preference. And Ted would know best on that choice.

I think the flowers have certainly been welcome - they're just at the tipping point now, with the ones from the hospital brought home, as well.

Best to you,

CJ

[tavalon]

15. You do understand that you will now be villified

as begging for money for Andy's funeral. It is completely, totally inaccurate and horribly mean but the folks at FR and Scamdy have an unerring ability to be assholes.

I got smeared for wanting to provide healthy food for Andy while he was recovering (unfortunately he went into the hospital before that got worked out although I now have multiple gift certificates that I will be giving to his family). They are sick, sick people.

[claudiajean]

17. I have three words for 'em: Bring it on.

Bring. It. On.

I'm not stretched to the absolute limits of my energy fighting a deadly disease, and, having been working on researching a cease and desist action for Andy, I know who the scumbags are already and don't have to start from scratch.

I welcome the challenge and will join Will in taking the bastards down.

[tavalon]

24. As well it should be

They need to be stopped.

They even attacked me for trying to set up a food circle for Andy. Luckily they got bored quickly.

They are certainly peices of work, aren't they?

[kaygore]

60. Please let us know where, when, & how we can donate to PayPal

for Andy's celebration of life. This is such a terrible loss to us all.

[mom cat]

68. And snail mail too!

[MissWaverly]

27. you are to be commended

cancer patients, especially people like Andy who have pancreatic cancer
lose their ability to properly digest food so it becomes vital that their body gets the fuel to fight the cancer, here in Baltimore we have bumper stickers that say I BELIEVE, it stands for an effort by city leaders to get people to believe that Baltimore can be a better place.
I believe that every act of kindness mounts up and is a force for good.
It makes the givers better by making them more aware of what binds us together as man"kind." Thank you for your efforts to help Andy.

[helderheid]

29. it's true

They posted my post about Andy wanting us to donate to VR and said he was controlling us from the grave. They are warped.

[Oversea Visitor]

11. Very much like to give

Can I donate to DU just like I did for Kephra through my credit card?
SKINNER ..... did not get a chance to donate for his medical fund as I was not online for a few months :(

[claudiajean]

12. We will coordinate a way to donate by Monday, so please check back.

Thanks!

O8)

[Oversea Visitor]

13. OK

[MissWaverly]

14. Thank you so much for the update

When you get the information for the paypal link will you post it here,
also could there be 2 seperate links? I would like to help with the funeral if they need the funds, I am sure that Andy would want help with that for his family. I appreciate you keeping us in the loop.

[claudiajean]

21. We'll try to do something lke that. Thanks.

[GOPisEvil]

16. Thanks for posting this. I will be there next week. One question inside.

Are there any hotels in the general area of the Town Hall? If I need to get a hotel, I'd really rather not have to rent a car as well. Funds are stretched after air fare. Thanks.

[claudiajean]

19. Yes. A heapin' helpin' o' hotels.

Town Hall is two blocks off of the main hotel district in Seattle, which is two blocks off the main shopping district, and is connected by monorail to the Space Needle.

If you stay in the area of Town Hall, you'll be able to get quite a mini-vacation, in a couple of days as many of Seattle's major sights are within walking distance. (And we all know Andy would approve of a little fun mixed in.)

The only downside is July is peak tourist season here. I'll make some inquiries over the weekend and see what we can come up with for a bereavement rate at a decent hotel within walking distance, and get back to you.

[GOPisEvil]

23. Thanks, I figured as much.

I was just going to "priceline" a room, but if you can get a decent rate, that would be great. You can always PM me. Thanks again. :)

And, yeah, I'm going to do SOMETHING fun while I'm there. I've been there before, but it was a short trip.

[tavalon]

25. Come stay at my place.

I'm out of town most of the weekend - coming back for the memorial and then heading back. I'm fairly sure that public transportation will get you what you need and you can use my computer to get info on the Metro. As well, I'm sure some of the people will be able to shuttle you as well.

How would you like to stay on a barge on Lake Union (fremont area). Free of course. It's small but it's cute.

Let me know.....

[GOPisEvil]

28. Oh that would be outstanding!

Thanks! Let's work out the details!

[goodboy]

36. me too! Hotel info would be very helpful.

[In_The_Wind]

18. I would like to do something to help Ted and Andy's mother.

I'll be looking for future threads about how to send money to them.

[claudiajean]

20. Thanks, Joan. We'll keep you all updated. n/t

[In_The_Wind]

22. may you walk in light claudiajean

O8)



thank you:hug:

[woofless]

26. Hi claudiajean

Is there a parking garage close to the Town Hall venue? If I am able to attend I will be driving down from Mt. Baker.

Thanks,
Warren

[claudiajean]

42. Yes, there is parking very close by.

There is a pay lot right next to the venue, and the Virginia Mason hospital Public Parking lot 1/2 block up a flat street.

There is also street parking, which is very economical within a several block radius, as well as the ginormous convention center parking garage two blocks away.

Thanks for the question!

[Kingshakabobo]

30. I want to help out with funeral expenses.

It's the right thing to do AND it will drive the scumbags crazy when we come together ONCE AGAIN. I know what a hardship funeral expenses can be on a family after dealing with cancer.

[flyarm]

31. thank you claudia jean....

thank you for being there and for holding termites hand and his familys hand when they needed a loving hand at this fragile time.

thank you from the bottom of my heart..

i miss my friend...tears..fly

[Misunderestimator]

32. Please let us know when the paypal account is setup.

I would love to help defray the costs for Andy's mom. Thanks for this post. RIP Andy.

[zalinda]

33. This thread once again proves

why we are better than freepers. When there is tragedy, we come together. When they face tragedy, they are all for themselves. I have to confess, I don't understand that mentality. There is strength in numbers, and it feels really good to contribute to the group. I don't understand why these people feel the need to always tear some one down. I guess that's why I have problems with some people here who spill out the hate.

zalinda

[sellitman]

37. One good thing...

The Freeper scum and their hero's in Washington will never get the chance to bother Andy again...they aren't going where Andy is right now.

They are going south.

I can't wait for the Amazon or paypal account. I will gladly contribute just as I did before.


Condolences to the family.

[BattyDem]

53. That's the fundamental difference between liberals and conservatives

Liberals are always willing to help those in need, even if there's "nothing in it" for them. Conservatives won't help anyone but themselves.

[MadisonProgressive]

63. That was succinct! And so true!

[goodboy]

34. Ted said Andy would love it if I played a few songs...I'm working on

getting a digital piano delivered to the location.

Someone needs to contact me to let me know what songs Ted wants me to play and how long I have the stage for.

PM me for contact info.

Thanks.

[claudiajean]

41. Still working down my phone-back list - have not forgotten you. n/t

[Generic Other]

35. I'm in Tacoma

Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

[claudiajean]

40. I'll be putting a local listserv together this weekend,

so we can coordinate via e-mail list any tasks local folks would be willing to help with.

Thank you so much for the offer.

[Missy Vixen]

38. We live just outside of Seattle

Would you like DH and I to bring a dish for the reception after the service?

Also, if you would like, I would be more than happy to coordinate a casual dinner later at a local eaterie -- i.e., make reservations for a group, etcetera.

Julie

[claudiajean]

39. I'll be putting a local listserv together this weekend,

so we can coordinate via e-mail list any tasks local folks would be willing to help with.

Thank you so much for the offer.

[kid a]

43. Here is where you might rub someone the wrong way . . .

"Thanks to the kindness of many friends, Ted and Andy's house is full of flowers right now. In most ways it is very touching, but it is also getting a little overwhelming. (All of the flowers from the hospital are home now, as well.) You might want to hold off for a few days, if any of you were thinking of sending more right now.

then . . .

"We would like to do one large centerpiece arrangement - a wreath or such, for the service, and would welcome donations to defray the costs."

I send my well wishes to the family, and I thanked Andy while he was alive. I have never piped in before on this donation thing.

But this irks me . . .be creative with the "overwhelming" amount of flowers you have - and save some money on the centerpiece.

Peace
edit - fix html

[LeftyMom]

46. I suspect that won't work

That cut (and thus slowly dying) flowers that look nice now will look ragged at best by next Saturday, especially if they need to be handled and made into another arrangement. Even if they could be manipulated into a new arrangement, matched enough to look nice and somebody with the requisiste skills was willing to volunteer thier services, those are assumptions that really can't be counted on.

I don't mean to flame or anything- I've got a raging sinus infection, so I'm probably a bit short tempered today and I apologize. I just don't think that's a practical suggestion.

-LM

[claudiajean]

47. And here is where you might rub someone the wrong way...

"But this irks me . . .be creative with the "overwhelming" amount of flowers you have - and save some money on the centerpiece."

I trust that you understand that by next Saturday, the cut flowers that are currently dominating Andy and Ted's small house will be dead, as they were at the hospital before coming home.

So you are suggesting that we "create" a display of dead flowers for Andy's memorial.

If you are irked by money spent on flowers, then you might just want to re-read the original post. The goal was to lessen the money spent now, when there are flowers aplenty, and to redirect people's desire to participate financially in the memorial costs, including a modest amount of planned flowers, if they so choose.

And many, many, MANY people are PMing, e-mailing, calling, asking where they can send flowers. It would be rude not to try to give an answer.

Look, Andy's Mom is in her eighties, and there are certain traditional items, such as a funeral wreath, that will be familiar and comforting to her. I doubt an arrangement of dead flowers would have the same effect.

And lastly, I would have preferred to have this entire conversation via PM's rather than in public. In the future, if you have a criticism, particularly of funeral arrangements, you might consider airing them privately via a PM. I know I would have reacted a bit better to a private message on this topic.

Please remember that the memorial service planners are also the closest bereaved. We're certainly open to suggestions, but we are very weary, as we've had a very bad couple of days. Thanks.


Edited for punctuation.

[EFerrari]

54. Claudiajean, thank you for hanging in there right now.

I have been very concerned about Ted and about Andy's mom. Knowing they have your help was a huge comfort to me.

Beth

/typin'

[juajen]

58. Bless your heart. You're very patient.

As I am hurting so very much today, I can only imagine how you who were so much closer to Andy feel. I'm sure you will be blessed for your help, fortitude and compassion during this time that so many of us prayed would never happen.

I would like to thank you for being this caring friend to someone so many of us loved and respected. I honestly feel that you are reaching out to hold the hands of his many grieving DU friends as we struggle with the cruelty done to Andy and our despair that our help was too late. We will carry on, but my sincere thanks to you for making this easier. My condolences to everyone who loved Andy Stephenson. We are better people for sharing life's stage with him. RIP Andy.

Juanita

[merh]

62. claudiajean, I want to thank you for bein there for Ted and Andy's

family. I know you are going through so much and you miss Andy as much as I do. You are in my prayers, you all are. :hug;

[tavalon]

61. Creative during a time of grief

is real easy! Not. Trying to breathe is hard. Trying to put together the plans for the memorial is monumentally hard during a time like this. I've lost all of my family members and for many, it was me who had to take up this mantle.

Please back off. This isn't the time nor the place. Let the grieving show their love in any way they want, okay?

[yewberry]

44. And to be extra-extra clear: "Town Hall" is not what some might think.

"Town Hall" is a venue, a meeting space; it is NOT a municipal building (eg City Hall.)

Did I make that mistake once? Why, yes, yes I did.


Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help. My thoughts are with you.

[goodboy]

45. I'm coming from Columbus...where could/should I stay? perhaps

we could block out some rooms at a hotel? Maybe they could give us a bereavement rate?

[housewolf]

48. kick for the sat afternoon

[sadiesworld]

49. .

[stevedeshazer]

50. I'm considering driving from Portland

It depends on my work schedule. If anyone from the Portland area wants to make it a day trip, let me know. I've got room for two or three if I can get away.

[kaygore]

69. I wish I were still in Portland to take advantage of your kind offer

I am here in Virginia nursing my dad who has stage IV pancreatic cancer!

[stevedeshazer]

71. How ironic.

Best wishes to you and your Dad. :(

[kaygore]

76. Thank you

[BattyDem]

51. Please let us know when the account is active and if ...

there are other ways to donate. Will there be an Amazon.com account or some way to donate through DU? If not, is there a snail-mail address we can use? I really hate PayPal.

This is the first chance I had to get online today and I'm a little confused by all the threads. DUers always come together when it counts! :-)

:hug: (a hug for you for helping Andy's family through this)

[AlienGirl]

52. I am in Seattle, and will be there

If any other DUers want to meet up, please PM me about setting up a place for DUers to meet before the service so we can all get to know each other and sort of go as a group.

I can also try calling Seattle-area hotels to ask about group rates, if there are enough people coming. I'd like to be useful in any way I can.

Tucker

[Dem2theMax]

55. claudiajean, thank you so much for doing this for Andy and his loved ones.

I hope there will be a snail mail address for those of us who have cut up our credit cards and no longer use them. I was hoping for a chance to help (even if it's a small amount) Andy's family with the cost of all the arrangements.

I wish I could be there. I will be, in spirit. Just as Andy is with us now.

[bigwillq]

56. CJ--this is such a nice thread

I know it's more informative than anything else but,to be honest, this is the first Andy thread that I have tears after reading. I can't really tell you why but I guess it has really hit home that a man's life is gone but through all of your efforts (and the efforts of many others) his spirit will live on.

It also affected me because I think I finally realized how serious the accusations against Andy and his surgery were. It saddens me and make me very angry that their were people out there accusing Andy of making this whole situation up.
Those people are evil, evil.

Thanks for this post.

[Melissa G]

57. Thanks for all you are doing Claudia Jean!

[shireen]

59. donations....

I'd be happy to contribute as well. In addition, any money left over after memorial service expenses should go to Ted and Andy's family. Travel to Baltimore, living expenses, missed time at work, meals at the hospital cafeteria -- all these costs pile up, and may have put a financial strain on them. It would be nice to help lift that burden just a little bit. And if they don't want to accept the money, they can make a donation to a charity or organization of their choice.

[Spazito]

64. I just arrived home and logged on to read the devastating news

of Andy's passing. My heartfelt sympathies go out to his loved ones. Andy was unique and one of the BEST, imo. He always spoke from the heart while he was giving his all. I wish I could attend his service next weekend as he is due all the accolades possible and then some.

Thank you, claudiajean, for updating us on everything, I very much appreciate it.

[Maat]

65. Thanks for the update.

Claudia Jean:

Thanks for the update.

I want to donate to the funeral wreath and/or other funeral/service expenses.

I eagerly await the posting of the information.

Are you going to post it in this thread? I am bookmarking this one.

Take care!

Healing comforting energy to you and Andy's family and Ted!

Peace,

[Spazito]

66. Kick for those who may have missed this

:kick:

[Stephanie]

74. another kick

:kick:

[bettyellen]

67. some of us NYers would like to meetup , and.....

all are welcome.
pls check out the thread in the NY forum.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=169&topic_id=3736&mesg_id=3736

[RFKHumphreyObama]

70. Unfortunately I reside in Australia so I won't be able to make it

But I would just like to extend my sincere, profound and heartfelt thoughts, prayers and condolences to Andy’s family and to all those who knew and loved him. I had the pleasure of meeting Andy when I visited Seattle two years ago and I will never forget his warmth, generosity, kindness and his passion for his life and work. I also moderated with Andy when he served as a moderator on this board and enjoyed getting to know him more during the two months in which he was a moderator

I always admired and respected Andy’s activism and his willingness to champion issues that the MSM and the political establishment would prefer to ignore. He was a wonderful and generous soul and if more people were as dedicated and committed to social justice and democracy in the way that he was, the world would be a much better place for it. I’m immensely grateful that I was able to have the honour and privilege of meeting him when I visited Seattle in 2003 and I wish once again to extend my sincere and heartfelt sympathies and condolences to all those who knew and loved him. May your soul be at peace Andy and may your legacy of compassion and generosity continue. I know that he touched the hearts and souls of so many people around the country and, due to the power of the Internet, around the world and perhaps his ability to do so is the most powerful testament to the goodness of his character

I will keep all of Andy’s family and friends in my prayers and thoughts during this time. May your soul find peace in the next world Andy and I hope to meet you again in the next world

[myrna minx]

72. Hi sd1981.

I haven't seen you around for awhile. I'm am so heartbroken by Andy's passing. It is heartwarming, however, to see what a profound legacy he has left to us. We have all banded together to see his work go forward.

I hope you are well SD1981. I'll try too send you a PM soon to see how you are. My internet access is so limited, therefore I cannot post much. Take care.

[Bethany Rockafella]

73. What heartbreaking news.

Although I have never met him, I will miss him. He will leave a lasting impression. :-(

[EFerrari]

75. kick