Santorum's book may save this marriage

[LiviaOlivia]

Saturday, July 09, 2005
Santorum's book ain't no dog

Update: the review is now up at Amazon. Don't forget to recommend it if you think it's helpful.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/1932236295/ref=cm_rev_sort/102-5046061-5835366?customer-reviews.sort_by=-HelpfulVotes&x=10&y=11&me=ATVPDKIKX0DER

My review of It Takes a Family by Rick Santorum...here it is:

This book may save my marriage

My life was miserable before I read this book. My wife, Ofjoshua, refused to submit to my patriarchal authority. She disobeyed my directives and flaunted her independence in front of the pastor. Fueled by Cosmo-induced size fantasies, she openly mocked my little soldier's stature by calling me Sir Lackawanger.

I just finished reading a few sections of the book to her, I think things will be different now. She agrees with the Senator about the proper role of women. Indeed, she said that she wants to quit her job to stay at home. I can't believe it. She was so excited she couldn't stop talking about how she'll have that tall neighbor with all the muscles come over and till her garden.

I have Sen. Santorum's book to thank for that. I can't recommend it enough.

~snip~

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2005_07_03_patriotboy_archive.html#112088373636672131

[pfitz59]

1. Beautiful!

Stick you to sanctimonious Rick!

[mike_c]

2. bwahahahaha....

Oh, you're bad. :spank:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

3. Doesn't patriotboy see the irony in that review?

:idea: :rofl:

[LiviaOlivia]

11. Yes indeedy.

I always read Digby, The Rude Pundit and Jesus' General(aka patriotboy) first thing in the morning.

JC General's ironic muses on religious America are sublime.

[Grateful for Hope]

4. This is too funny!

:rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

7. Welcome to DU Hope2006!

:hi: :toast:

[jonnyblitz]

5. "till her garden..."

snort.

[progressoid]

23. That was a gem!!

:rofl:

[WCGreen]

28. Till her garden what, blooms.....

Over flows.....

Does he intend to plow her garden...

You need muscles do do all that work now....

I wonder who's minding Rick Sanatorium (Regressive-Penn) garden while he is off in Washington doing the lords work....

[globalvillage]

6. There were 30 reviews on Thu

At the Amazon site. Do they typically delete them?

Here's my fave:

"As a fellow Pennsylvanian, I have to say that I think it's great that Senator Slantorum has provided a voice for the loony and confused. The distinguished Senator's first volume of advice to the brainworn, "It Takes a Village, or: How I Went Nuts!" is an inspirational tome that will fit perfectly underneath the short leg of my pool table.

It's all here: Women: Feh! Gays: Oy! Man-on-Dog Sex: Bring It On! The somnambulant Senator Skanktorum explains it all to you, and in little words even Conservatives can understand.

And ooooh, that Hillary! Who likes her? Not Senator Smacktorum! She's a woman and worse, she's (grrrrrrr!) a Senator, too! Just like him! How the hell did that happen?

I've read this book three times already and feel ready to turn myself into the authorities, so long as they send me to Gitmo, that paradise on Earth where prisoners enjoy the tropical sun, gourmet meals, and kidney punches.

In a world of fake screwballs, Senator Spamtorum is the real thing. He's made a real convert out of me with this initial, and very promising, offering. I give it 3 Jesuses out of 4, subtracting 1 Jesus for the bit about slavery and abortion which is just, y'know, nuts.

[I Have A Dream]

9. I was wondering where all the reviews went also. n/t

[globalvillage]

10. I saved one more that was outstanding.

"After reading Rick's book I feel like a new woman! I will turn in my PhD and force my grown children to move back into my home so that I may renurture them into the new vision of the American faith according to Saint Santorum. I will renounce my membership in the local PTA. I will stop giving to such liberal causes as the Sierra Club. I will quit my teaching job and become a domestic so that I may find worth in cleaning the homes of rich people like Rick's friends (they deserve it, they are so good) I will wash clean from my mind any thoughts of honest debate or criticism of St. Santorum's book of truth. Propaganda is truth, truth is propanagnda. Yea, I will walk in the center of universal truth which springs forth from the sanctified brain of my diety who is Rick Santorum! God Bless You Rick, we are one in the Bloody Bowels of Christ!"

Still wondering if they remove reviews as a matter of course, or if this is unusual.


:shrug:

[I Have A Dream]

13. Thanks, globalvillage.

Let's hope that it's standard policy rather than yet another example of censoring free speech.

[txindy]

22. Now, now, we need to be fair.

Have we visited all of the appropriate channels to express our delight with Pandertoum's published words? http://www.barnesandnoble.com , I mean. There's not a single review for that....book **cough** as of tonight.

What to do, what to do. :dilemma:

[Tommymac]

8. Thanks!

:applause: Recommended.

I sent this out to all my email friends...us Pennsylvanians have a right to know!

Gawd I can't wait to vote that smarmy jackhole out of office in 2006....

[im10ashus]

33. As a New Yorker, I would love to lend a hand

in outing that sanctimonious piece of shit from office in 2006. What can we do to lend a hand to our wonderful neighbors in Pennsylvania? I can't believe someone would even publish that sick diatribe. He needs to fucking go!

[adarling]

12. thank you for your review

I voted for it...agree with everything, everyone should follow Rick's view on life....he is a true american patriot and a true christian, you bleeding heart liberals need to grow some balls and stick the woman back in the kitchen:sarcasm: :sarcasm:

[patriotboy]

14. The review is being freeped

My fellow cadremen and cadrenotmen from the Red Guard of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution are freeping my Amazon review of Sen. Santorum's book. I can't tell you how betrayed I feel. Without the Free Republic, I have no mental template for my thoughts.

[globalvillage]

15. LOL, I just read all your reviews.

:applause: :applause: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[immoderate]

16. Some of the freepers liked your review.

LOL:rofl:

--IMM

[The Jacobin]

17. Only 5 reviews left

Some amazon admin has done some cleaning. Here are two more that will probably disappear

According to Rick, my partner and I don't really need to both be working outside of the home. Rick says that if we would just take a careful look at our home budget, we would see that we are only working to "gratify" ourselves and not because we have bills to pay. We don't need outside employment (especially me) because it does not really provide the type of role modeling our children need from two community servants like ourselves who work in the public service sector. The cost of tuition, property ownership, utility bills, medical care and insurance are only going to be on the rise. Perhaps if I sent Rick our budget then he could pick up the tab on my child's education--leaving me to use my hard earned PHD to sit home and complete lovely craft projects.

and

I was really excited to read Senator Santorum's book. I knew he was going to explain how I didn't need to work, we could raise our family with only one income - and I found where he said that.

But I thought he would give concrete, how-to examples, like how he bought a house in a low income district that he never lived in with his family so his kids could get an education in a great school district and he could avoid paying property taxes. That a budget tip I could use!

My husband and I would also like to avoid paying taxes we owe but we can't aford two houses to do it.

So, I was disappointed.

[patriotboy]

18. Bastards

I blame the French.

[LiviaOlivia]

21. Bastards indeed.

Hey baby, I love ya. I posted you out of love and admiration. What's a peon to do against angry corporate gods?

If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right..

[KC21304]

25. Hey there General,

I didn't know you were a DUer. I just discovered your site a few months ago and thank god because I sure need the laughs. You are the greatest.

[patriotboy]

27. Thanks to everyone...

for your kind words. I don't post to DU often, but I enjoy the site.

[wildeyed]

34. That second one killed me!

"My husband and I would also like to avoid paying taxes we owe but we can't aford two houses to do it.

So, I was disappointed."

:rofl:

[brettdale]

19. amazon has deleted that review

Or perhaps its yet to appear.

[txindy]

20. I got to "calling me Sir Lackawanger" and had to clean off my screen.

That'll teach me to drink tea while reading, I guess.

Great review! :applause:

[LiviaOlivia]

24. Kick

eom

[ClayZ]

26. Sweet!

What a treat!


:rofl:

[snot]

29. Actually, I didn't find this review at this link . . .

. . . would have liked to; have some friends who might enjoy it . . . hope it wasn't removed for some reason; the other reviews there were almost as negative . . .

[globalvillage]

31. I wonder Amazon's policy

for deleting reviews. So far, they have deleted at least 26, and of those, 25 were negative (but very funny). They are not deleting by date, so I'm guessing they're censored.

[jillan]

30. I'm sick of working in my thankless job

And besides, my job takes away from watching C-Span, and being on the web.

Maybe I'll buy my husband that book:P :toast:

I'll have to find myself a pool boy tho:woohoo:

[WLKjr]

32. Apparently this guy doesn't know the "code words"

"till her garden", buddy, if she already called you 'lakawanger' she is going to actively look for other means of pleasure. So in a short, your fucked....err not.....oh nevermind.