Cheney found to have enlarged colon.

[johncoby2]

Washington DC. A nurse who overheard the results of Vice President Dick Cheney's annual physical by his doctor claims the Vice President has an enlarged colon. Although rarely fatal, it can cause discomfort.

In an exclusive interview, the nurse overhead the Doctor saying "Cheney is a big asshole."

Film at 11.

[bullimiami]

1. oh. i thought it was because he was so full of shit.

[aresef]

6. Or because his colon doubles as his vocal chords.

[saigon68]

34. "BRING EM ON" shouted the AWOL CHIMPANZEE

[followthemoney]

69. Otherwise known as the Right Wing Echo Chamber

[lvx35]

9. I worked with a guy with a mega-colon once

he wouldn't shit for days, but when he did, it would fill the whole toilet so much you'd have to get a shovel to scoop it out.

[sam sarrha]

12. sucker needed some fiber

[postulater]

35. Thanks for sharing that lovely tidbit

I'm ready for breakfast now!

:9

[PDittie]

40. LOL

(and hoping I don't LMAO, like that dude)

[driver8]

24. I thought it was because shrub's head got stuck up there...

[barb162]

70. Shrub's head is up Rove's rear. Cheney's head is up his own rear

which is why the colon is enlarged

[Snotcicles]

58. But thanks to Sean Hannity it's the cleanest one we have ever seen n/t

[Ikonoklast]

59. Please, never , ever do that again!

A fair warning, at least! I just blew Pepsi out my nose because of your post.

I guess I got Snotcicles now, too.:hi:

[Snotcicles]

64. His hearing is shot too he thought they were looking for

a Winger with Ass Distortion.

[LiberalFighter]

2. Wouldn't an enlarged colon be normal for him?

[smirkymonkey]

17. Yes, since W's head has been up there for the last 5 years.

[FreedomAngel82]

3. Heh

At least the doctor agrees with majority of us.

[aresef]

4. I thought Cheney would be quoting The Wizard of Oz.

When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kind-a human
If I only had a heart.

[lvx35]

10. When are you secret agents going to stop READING MY MIND?

I was just thinking about Cheney as the tin man from the wizard of Oz. He's with Bush the scarecrow, Rumsfeld the Cowardly Lion, and Dority Rice. They go to find the man behind the curtain, Karl Rove. And Rove says:

"Well, I can't give you a heart Dick, but I can give you this idea of compassionate conservatism that allows for taking things away from the poor!
Well, I can't give you courage Rummy, but I can give you a war!
Well, I can't give you a brain, George, but I can give you the presidency of the USA!"

Meanwhile, Condi taps her heals together dreaming of being a professor again in CA..."there's no place like home!"

So get you super secret RADAR MIND READER THINGY out of my thoughs!

[tuvor]

5. That explains the big head.

[geek tragedy]

7. Everyone already knows he's a "big time" asshole. eom

[bvar22]

8. Cheney found to have enlarged colon.

Last name "Powell".

[cliss]

11. Cheney has a ton of problems.

Let's review them -

1) he was just in the hospital in Denver to have a new pacemaker put in. He already has one.

2) He's had 4 heart attacks.
3) He's had quadruple bypass surgery - lots of toothpaste-like plaque lining his arteries.
4) He apparently is having some trouble with his knees - an old "football injury" (did he play football?)
5) He has a hole in his aorta which has not healed - I think it keeps his doctors very worried.
6) Now this? He has a big butt-hole?
7) Somebody posted a photo of "Dick" a while back, it looks like he has a big wiener. There was something big between his legs. You could see it through his pants. Maybe a big turd?

[benburch]

13. Re: Maybe a big turd?

Depends. :evilgrin:

[postulater]

36. Or some other brand of adult diaper

[Ilsa]

52. Actually a defibrillator was re-installed.

They just tagged it with the word pacemaker in its name to make it sound less serious.

[assclown_bush]

55. "...an old 'football injury'" indeed! He stepped on an OLD FOOTBALL! n/t

[delete_bush]

14. Jeff Gannon perhaps?

[Bluebear]

15. Does that explain that "big bulge" that the freepers were drooling over?

Sorry, neocons, it must have been a bag, not a big old love machine.

[cliss]

22. Thanks, Blue Bear.

That's precisely the photo I was referring to. Notice the great big lump, on his left leg? YIKES!!!!

[NervousRex]

25. Fuck!!!!

that's gross...Is that his leg bag?, colostomy bag?...or is he just happy to see that hotdog vendor? I also love the rosacia drooling down his chin.

[Eurobabe]

44. do your balls hang low?

can you swing them to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?

can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier....do your BALLS hang low?

lather rinse repeat.

[Ilsa]

54. Let's not sing this version in front of my Barney-loving kids!

That song will never be the same for me next time they play the video.

[dogday]

46. He hides this guy in his pants

[AuntieM1957]

16. ROFLMAO

Very funny!

Carrying around that load of crap must have engorged it.

It's a little known bit of trivia from Maine - but the septic tank around the country home in Kennebunkport is full to overflowing.
An ongoing problem for the Bushie friends and family.

[Tommymac]

18. Finally get to use this smilie!!!!

:hurts: :hurts: :hurts:



:rofl:

[gulliver]

19. Cheney has the same material on both sides of his colon.

...

A derivative of the old Texas joke converted into the Bush joke:

What is the difference between George W. Bush and a cowboy? The cowboy has shit on the _outside_ of his boots.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

20. Lynn needs to go a size smaller on the strap-on.

[Algorem]

21. He had his chances.He rectum.

[ryan_cats]

71. Rectum

Rectum? Damn near killed him.

[LibertyorDeath]

23. Due to Giant Gerbils no doubt

:)

[Liberal In Texas]

26. Good joke. But Chaney IS an enlarged colon. n/t

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

27. Man, the replies just write themselves, don't they!

The gift that keeps on giving. :evilgrin:

[Liberal In Texas]

33. Yes they do. Thanks for noticing. n/t

[greenbriar]

28. could that be because he is full of shit???

just a question...

[Paradise]

37. touche... n/t

[SoCalDem]

29. Ummm..Colon, you say?? I wondered what this thing was

Did it fall out??

[Catrina]

30. *rotfl*

What a pair!

And that Cheney picture is disgusting!! Wasn't it removed from the newspaper because the WH complained? I seem to remember something like that.

Bush's cheerleader outfit is hillarious ~ a little longer than the one he wore in college ~

www.talknation.org
www.pinsforpatriots.com

[SoCalDem]

31. Bush's pic is not a photoshop.. It's a AP photo

straight off the wire (I cropped it a bit)..He was in W.VA on 7/4, and an AP photographer with a wicked sense of humor lines this baby up just right.. It's obvious that there was a garland of red flowers around the microphone, and the bunting looks just like a bige ole skirt :)

[Hubert Flottz]

48. W's lucky he didn't look exactly like one of the Freep's sisters...

That would be just awful, to have had the VP and the POTUS in the hospital with colon trouble at the same time, just because a drunken coalmining freeper, by the name of Bubba, made an honest mistake.

ALL JOKES ASIDE::::

I had a horrid thought;

What If they have Dick in there, so they can freeze dry him if something happened and make JEB the VP? I Mean, Jeb might have hurt W in the election, because it would have looked like changing horse's A$$es in mid-stream, but as VP Jeb would be one up on the democrats running in 08. Hows about a JEB/RUDY ticket? I know it's a horrible thing to think about, but bad luck comes in bunches!

[Hubert Flottz]

73. How Is Dauntless Dickie Dingleberry this morning?

I've been worried sick about his bum Bum! I'll bet I laid awake at least 3 seconds last night, thinking about the one guy, who worries and thinks about you and me all the time. I'll bet I didn't sleep but 12 hours, tossing and turning, as my subconscious mind sweated gallons and gallons, over Dick's medical pwoblems. He'll be with his pals Adolf and Ronzo Reagan, before very long I'm very afraid. I hope Lynn don't forget to buy the asbestos underwear to protect his bum Bum, where he's headed, after he cashes in his chips and Halliburton stock options.

If you have time today, won't you please, be a patriot and worry about Dick's ass, like he worries about yours. I mean his ass in his drawers, not the one in the White House.

[bleedingheartlib83]

32. I can't stop laughing

ROTFL :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[kliljedahl]

38. Any word on how Powell feels about it?

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[cascadiance]

61. Yeah! "Colon" must have been packing on a few more pounds in retirement!

[Pharlo]

39. Enlarged colon preceded

by an enlarged eosophagus

preceded by an enlarged ego.


Megalomania CAN be bad for your health.

JESUS WAS RIGHT!!!

Proof from God that the Neo-Cons are the Anti-Christ.

[babsbunny]

41. EEEEUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I'm trying to eat breakfast here!

[tiredofthisstuff]

42. Well thats Shitty.........

:hide: Finally starting to back up eh.

[Hugin]

43. Ah, so *THAT* is where he's been hiding!

His head buried like an ostrich... It's no wonder we
couldn't see him.

[Hubert Flottz]

45. Our national dick needs to ask shrub to come pray for his, colon.

Jerry and Pat are prolly on the way there in AF-1 right now. They all get so excited every time Dick Peters out. Between All those guys praying for him and a Viagra I V in each arm, you'd think they could resurrect Dick Dastardly one more time. I can just hear them all now, "In the holy name of James BakkKer III, point man for Gawd, we command you to stand up dick!" Old Dick feels kind of ticklish, about dying and going to heaven the way he felt about getting drafted, "Go F yourself...I don't have time for it!"

Too many Americans left unscrewed yet, for the VP to pass on and not mug and rob them every one. After all, he promised to do his "patriotic" chores, before he Floats Up like a big T*rd to them pearly gates. Shrub needs an extra hard Dick, to lead him in a truly Gawdly direction and to keep him focused the on money and oil. Old Dick still worries, because every single time he stops by the White House, W wants to ride around the offal office on "Unka Dickey's" sore back some more and play Carbide and Indians.

Jerry and Pat promised Dick they'd be there later on today, after they sack up the loot from Sunday School and stop at a Bo-Jangles for fried chicken and a twelve pack of Crown Royal "for Dick". If a preacher don't eat chicken on a Sunday, I think they turn into a toady. Once Jerry and Pat lay their chicken smelling, greasy hands on Dick's colon to heal it up, it'll be time for them to fly back to church and fleece the faithful again.

The VERY worst thing that the VP can do right now, is to get his bowels in an uproar, about Juniors and kkkarl's child like shenanigans.

No...Dick shouldn't swarp, fret and cavort, because Jerry and Pat are already busy doin' the Lord's Work in a very big way right now. I probably shouldn't tell you folks about all this, but I will anyway. I promised someone, whom I won't, don't, and can't name, that I wouldn't reveal my source I just couldn't, wouldn't and shouldn't have believed, what these preachers are doing, if I hadn't witnessed it all with my own two eyes.

Bush and the Televangelist Right are involved in a huge conspiracy together, that will dwarf anything the GOP has dreamed up in almost 150 years. Now you might not believe this, because I didn't at first either, but...They are secretly re-writing the Bible. They've added a whole bunch of stuff about their Godsend pResident and his "holy" deeds. I wrote down what I saw and it wasn't much, but I think it's proof positive. All I really had a chance to look at, was the "New World Bible...neocon version" index, but here's what it said;

(Matthew ,Mark, Luke, John, Revelations, AzzHole... )

They've actually slipped in a chapter about Bush and all his "great and wondrous works". For once they finally told the truth, when they named their new chapter, so now they can claim, "the Newest chapter starts right out revealing a great and wondrous Truth!"

[dogday]

47. Maybe he can lay hands on it n/t

[Hubert Flottz]

51. First he has to have lots of money because,

the Lawd's medical bills for performing a miracle, have gone up 239087654% since Bush was selected.

[Hubert Flottz]

56. Let's give our sick Dick, a good swift kick!

:kick: in your sore arse and go %$#@#@ yourself!

I'm prayin about Dick right now, and I know that, if Dick expects to get into heaven with the rest of the former GOPers, :sarcasm: that he had better PRAY LIKE HELL!

:kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick:

[smartvoter]

49. lol!!!

[progressoid]

50. You can say that again.

[Janice325]

53. Thanks!

I needed a good laugh.

[rateyes]

57. You mean someone actually got to

shove a camera up Cheney's ass? Almost makes me want to be a part of the medical profession.

[undeterred]

65. I hope it was this one:

[rateyes]

66. roflmao..

but, with the above diagnosis of enlarged colon--I bet it would fit!

[karlrschneider]

60. He thought that Viagra was a suppository...

:eyes:

[greenbriar]

67. oh my gawd, this thread is just too funny to let die

and I never would have thought of the viagra/suppository angle


just tooooooooooooooo funny to let go

[yurbud]

62. He should have chewed Iraq more thoroughly before he swallowed.

Hillbilly Hitler art:



Blog:

[djg21]

63. Thaty makes him . . .

a BIG ASSHOLE!

[plusfiftyfive]

68. If it weren't a serious problem

I could let myself laugh.

But you are right.........and enlarged colon means he is just more "full of it"!!

[icymist]

72. Well, this administration does think that sh*t is news. n/t