Anti-Bush msg in office e-mail: the tide must be turning!

[lanlady]

Amazingly, this message made the rounds of our (mostly Repug) corporate e-mail today. Has anyone else seen this--it's great!


==================================================================

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH

The White House, USA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

* I ran for Congress & lost.

* I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

* I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company
went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

* I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that
took
&

used taxpayer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago
Cubs.
* With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

* I changed pollution laws for power & oil companies & made Texas the
most
polluted state in the Union.

* I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in
America.

* I cut taxes & bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions
in
borrowed money.

* I set the record for most executions by any Governor in American
history.

* I became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000
votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.



ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

* I attacked two countries.

* I spent the surplus & bankrupted the treasury.

* I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history.

* I set the economic record for the most private bankruptcies filed in
any
12-month period.

* I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
stock
market.

* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.

* I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
record.

* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history.

* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
over
the worst security failure in US history.

* I set the record for more campaign fund-raising trips than any other
president in US history.

* In my first two years in office over 3mn Americans lost their jobs.

* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any
president in US history.

* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
any
president in US history.

* I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
president since the advent of television.

* I signed more laws & executive orders amending the Constitution than
any
president in US history.

* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history & refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.

* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history & refused to
use
the national reserves as past presidents have.

* I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.

* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
take
to the streets to protest me (15mn people), shattering the record for
protests against any person in the history of mankind.

* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
history.

* My presidency is the most secretive & unaccountable of any in US
history.

* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history.
(The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil
tanker named after her).

* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.

* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market
in
any country in the history of the world.

* I am the first president in US history to order a US attack & military
occupation of a sovereign nation, & I did so against the will of the
United
Nations & the world community.

* I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
of
the United States.

* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any president in US history...

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove
the US from the human rights commission.

* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove
the US from the elections monitoring board.

* I removed more checks & balances, & have the least amount of
congressional
oversight than any presidential administration in US history.

* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war & by
default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.

* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).

* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign
donations. My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of
my
best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy
frauds
in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

* I spent more money on polls & focus groups than any president in US
history.

* I am the first president to run & hide when the US came under attack
(and
then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.

* I took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 9/11, & in less
than a
year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US & world history).

* I, with a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.

* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the
people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace &
stability.

* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South
Korea
more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbour, North Korea.

* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government
contracts.

* I set all-time record for number of administration appointees who
violated
US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for
government contracts.

* I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

* I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders
of
our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I
have no
leads & zero suspects.

* In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks, I have successfully
prevented
any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the
history of
the United States.

* I removed more freedoms & civil liberties for Americans than any other
president in US history.

* In a little over two years I created the most divided country in
decades,
possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history & in less
than
two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.



RECORDS & REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
driving
record has been erased & is not available).

* I was AWOL from the National Guard & deserted the military during a
time
of war.

* I refused to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use.

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away
to
my father's library, sealed in secrecy & unavailable for public view.

* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy & unavailable for public view.

* All minutes of meetings for any public corporation where I served on
the
board are sealed in secrecy & unavailable for public view.

* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy & unavailable for public
review.

* For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker
(They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group- global arms
dealer)

[DBoon]

1. Excellent

I usually consider forwarding chain mail to be a bad idea, but I make an exception to this.

[myomy]

2. Great. It helps get the message out.

.

[fob]

3. You want to see something really disgusting?

Go over to snopes.com and look at their response to bush*s resume.

Hint: They have it rated yellow and say they have not yet investigated the claims, but, and it's a BIG BUT, they give a link to someone that has "researched" the items but add a disclaimer that they can offer no opinion regarding it. Take a look at the link if you dare.

Hint 2: The rebuttal link has links to bush/cheney campaign info and a few links to freep.com to refute the claims

fob

[Room101]

4. My consolidated Bush resume version

George W. Bush’s


Accomplishments As President

· In my first three years in office over 3.5 million Americans lost their job.

· Spent the surplus

· Shattered record for biggest annual deficit (500 billion) in history.

· Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

· Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

· Changed EPA rules that will Increase Pollution by 1.6 Million Tons

· Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans by 14.6 billion

· Cut hazard pay for troops serving in Iraq

· Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive’.

· Covered up for my rich friends the Saudi’s, for financing two 911 highjackers. 15 out of the 19 highjackers were from Saudi Arabia. (None from Iraq)

· Used forged evidence and lied about “Weapons of mass destruction” to get us into a Quagmire in Iraq. (Then taunted the Guerillas to kill our troops by saying “ Bring them on”)

· Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in U.S. history.

Records and References

· I’m AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.

· Republican Trent Lott “ We can support the troops without supporting the president”

· Republican Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President “To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”

[lanlady]

6. I like your version

Short and sweet!

[0007]

7. Laura Bush

is gonna have a hissy fit. She is the only first lady that had a vehicular manslaughter charge dropped and the record scrubbed clean as a whistle.

.....and not a word about Neil.

[w4rma]

5. Wow. It just keeps going on and on.

:wow:

[never cry wolf]

8. Here's an idea,

I have seen this resume before. I just cut and pasted it onto and email I sent out. However, at the top of it i added the following for the benefit of my repug aquaintences:

Republican Theodore Roosevelt, 26th US President:
“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”



Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower, from his farewell address:

"This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."


try it, i think it works.