What would Jesus pack?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

The earlier thread about how the Republicans would behave if Jesus ran against them brought up this question in my addled brain.

So many of them (the Republicans) equate the second amendment as the right to arm bears being a right God Given.

Therefore, It begs to wonder that if Jesus were alive today, how would he arm himself?

[ObaMania]

1. Why a BFG9000 of course!

LOL :rofl:

[BlueEyedSon]

4. BFG10K, you mean!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

2. What you Jesus pack?

Lunches for the hungry? :shrug:

[unhappycamper]

3. a fifty cal, no doubt

http://www.50caliberterror.com/index2.html

[drthais]

5. ...a suitcase

and he'd get out of this country pronto

or maybe
a suitcase for all the freakazoid religious nutcases
so he could ship them all off to an isolated place
no longer able to smear his reputation

[Amonester]

6. Bet InsHannity would "name call" Jesus a 'Peacenik'!! (nt)

O8)

[jody]

7. Abraham, Moses, David, and Muhammad packed swords. n/t

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

8. Sorry, we're talking "Prince of Peace" here....

What do you think, Jody?

What would namesake of Christianity arm himself with?

[jody]

10. An olive branch obviously. n/t

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

11. Then to emulate Christ, one might...

Arm themselves with pacifism?

Anything else would seem to be antithetical to the teachings.

:toast:

[jody]

31. I agree 100%. The hardest teaching of Jesus to follow is

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" (Mat 5:44)

:hi:

[madrchsod]

9. some killer bud,

black hash, and a bottle of yago. well at least that`s what he gave me....

[CityZen-X]

12. A Babies Arm Holding An Apple?

[anarchy1999]

13. No question about it. No arms, just peace and lots of love and

compassion.

www.ecapc.org

every church a peace church

[porphyrian]

14. Fudge.

Everyone loves fudge.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

15. LOL I like it! "Hi, Just got in, have some fudge!"

[DanCa]

34. And it would be fat free fudge but it would taste like normal

[Mnemosyne]

41. Jesus is a lover, not a fighter,

I actually made fudge last night, and you are correct, "Everyone loves fudge.":toast:

:evilgrin: I'll share!

[intheflow]

16. WWJS? (What Would Jeusus Smoke?)

He's your cannablessed savior! http://www.utne.com/pub/2003_116/promo/10324-1.html

[Mnemosyne]

42. I think he needed it to keep from kicking butt in more temples.

And thanks for the info, never knew.:toast: :smoke:

[dchill]

17. A Glock 9mm...

Packs a punch, easily concealed in robes. Non-lethal in the hands of a true marksman, and JESUS he can shoot.

[LeftyMom]

18. a sword

Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

I'm thinking it'd be one of those swords that can be concealed under the most improbable of outfits, like on Highlander. Otherwise he'd have a hard time concealing it under the tunic and sandals number he appears to favor.

[Ian David]

21. You beat me to it. Also, Highlander could hide a sword in his ass

He could be standing in nothing but his underwear, and he'd be able to whip-out a four-foot long blade (that probably smelled like santorum).

[Ian David]

19. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household." (Matthew 10:34-36, NASB)

Another, similar, quote reads (Jesus speaking):

"Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three..." (Luke 12:51-52 NASB)

Jesus would be packin' a flamethrower.

[DanCa]

35. Maybe a sword that can change into an olive branch?

Or a metaphor of a sword :D)

[brokensymmetry]

20. None of the above. Actually, he'd carry an

Heckler and Koch MP5SD. He'd have thirty round magazines, filled with subsonic 9MM ammunition so the silencer would be effective.



Why, you ask? Because anyone who saw it would be sure to say: "Holy Jesus!"

[Hubert Flottz]

22. The Sword Of The Lord!

He'd probably pack his gym bag and get the Hell outta' Dodge!

EDIT... Some cool colt 45s to sip on!

[Ian David]

23. I want to change my vote: Uranium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator

He needs to destroy the Earth because it obstructs his view of Heaven.

[Callalily]

24. He would pack compassion. (eom)

[Mnemosyne]

45. Welcome to DU Simply Fugue!

Good answer.

:toast: :hi:

[Politically_Wrong]

25. WWJD?

"You can do foolish things...just make sure they work the way you intended."
-Anonymous

[Callalily]

28. Politically Wrong

Hmmmmmm, are you responding to my quote? BTW I truly think Jesus would to the right thing, although I often wonder if I would be brave enough to do so. I only hope I would be that brave. Weapons seems to be the easiest answer, as our (ahem) friend Bush seems to think so.

[Callalily]

29. Oh sorry forgot to

welcome you to DU. Thanks for posting. Hope to hear more from you. And welcome! I think you'll like this blog. Comitteted, intellegent people live here.

[tomg]

26. And a toothbrush.

Because with a smile, a bag of good pot and a toothbrush, he would head north to Canada. I mean he was a martyr once already and it didn't really work out all that well. This time, I think, he would go where they already seem a bit more interested in feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and providing health insurance to the sick.

[Mnemosyne]

46. I'm with Jesus...

And welcome!

V:smoke: :hi:

[loudsue]

27. LOL! Great thread!

:rofl:


:kick::kick::kick:

[formernaderite]

30. Funny, I pack it all....

and couldn't give a shit what Jesus or the right wingers pack. I just don't want people telling me, I can't defend my peace.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

47. *grunt* *grunt* *Ar*ar*ar*

Grrrr.... Outta my cold dead fingers!!!!!!
Unnnnh.... Only cwiminals will have guns!!!!!


*woof*

I'm weal man!

[DemGirl7]

32. Jesus would pack a olive branch....

but he will probably end up using that olive branch to beat the crap out of those fundies...I mean they say so much hateful shit in his name it would probably piss him off so much, and make him go off the deep end.

[DanCa]

33. Add one for the olive branch.

At least the god I worship whose the god of reason healling and of reprodutive health and for equality all regardless of orientation, and not the sick red god of war madness and riches that george bush and the fristians worship.

[queeg]

36. Ruger Mini 14 is

the most useful all around short rifle---easy top convert to automatic. --many accessories available (large capacity magazines)---and it has a built in bottle opener.

I can see Jesus as a carpenter prob. had a bit of redneck in him, so I say the Ruger for sure

[Swamp Rat]

37. ... a peace pipe.

:)

[lonestarnot]

38. He would pack the word, word up and the spirit....

[DanCa]

39. He was a carpenter and a fisherman

So like am thinking maybe a hammer level a saw, some screws, a fishing pole a hook and a can of worms.

[Jack_DeLeon]

40. WTF this poll is biased...

no option for a .45 automatic.

1911 4tw.

BTW if you watch "Rescue Me" on FX you know that Jesus drives a Lamborgini.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

43. An Uzi.

Same as any good Israeli.

[booley]

44. why would jesus need a gun?

if he got shot he would just rise from the dead 3 days later.