Limericks for our times . . . call for entries

[kitkat65]

I'll start:

There was a fake cowboy named Bush
A war on Iraq he did push
His cronies get profits
Our gas price skyrockets
I think Bush needs a kick in the tush

Next?

[mcctatas]

1. I'll try...

Three lads Bush, Cheney and Rummy
Told lies so incredibly scummy
To lead us to war
But we folks say "No More
To Gitmo you go, hope it's sunny"

[OrlandoGator]

2. There's a fake cowboy from Nantucket,

Who regularly tells us to suck it,
A hundred thousand dead,
Most shot in the head,
He's on his vacation, so fuck it.

[Bluebear]

3. There once was a doctor named Rice

who gave her dear "husband" advice.
On war she did sell us,
but never did tell us
she cooked the intelligence twice.

[KyndCulture]

5. that was awesome!!! nt

[Bluebear]

24. Cheers!

:toast:

[Horse with no Name]

4. I'll try

We went to a country called Iraq
And proceeded to get hit in the nutsack
Our leader is nothing but a partisan hack
Accountability is a trait he does lack
Oh when will we get our country back?

[kitkat65]

6. I love you guys! This is great - keep em coming!

I HAVE to sleep now but look forward to what I hope will be an extremely humongous number of replies in the morning.

:applause:

[drhilarius]

7. There once was a man named Limbaugh...

who popped pills with his fat, greasy paw,
but the cops made a stink
so he's off to the clink
to stick more than a pill in his maw.

[mcctatas]

8. Sweet tap dancing christ...

I have to go wash my brain now, thanks for the disturbing mental image. :rofl:

[Must_B_Free]

11. You forgot the pogo stick...

[Aristus]

9. I wrote this one a while ago.

A President named George W. Bush
Had his head so far up his tush
When they fell from the sky,
He attacked the wrong guy
And all our ideals just went "Smoosh!"

[alcibiades_mystery]

10. Ari Fliescher

There once was a Liar name Ari
Who swore that he never would marry
He longed for instead
Three strong men in his bed
Could be any ole Tom, Dick, and Harry

[drhilarius]

14. LOL. fucking great.

[applegrove]

12. There once was boy-coward name George

Who wanted to make his own pissing gorge
He made up some rules
Turned men into mules
So he could have his own Valley Forge

[NoQuarter]

13. OK

There once was a cretin named George,
whose appetite for oil he gorged.
When multitudes decried
his actions, he lied;
and thus, his demise was forged.

[drhilarius]

15. There once was a man named Falwell...

who doomed all the gays to hell.
at night he puts on high heels,
and spins in cartwheels-
says his name is Dame Mirabelle.

[alcibiades_mystery]

16. Dubya

I once knew a shitbird named Dubya
If he couldn't debate ya he'd snub ya
He'd pout like a tike
And ride off on his bike
But it's better than having him rub ya

[alcibiades_mystery]

17. Pat Robertson

There once was a preacher named Pat
Longed to rub out the Caracas Cat
But Hugo was sly
With a glint in his eye
He said "Robertson? Who the fuck's that?"

[KyndCulture]

18. ok I'll give it a shot.

There once was a failure from Connecticut
Who wasn't so versed in etiquette,
He fucked up enough,
and gave his buddies an up
Cept for that Mom who kicked his butt.

:)

[Chipper Chat]

19. well - - - - -

Along comes this woman named Sheehan
She's scared Shrub so much that he's peein'
She's camped by his ranch
Hoping for an olive branch
But Dubya, he's cyclin or teein.

I - yi - yi - ti........

[Dr Fate]

20. There once was a man named O'Reily...

On TV he told lots o' lielys
Falafel he made,
With dildos he played
And gave a new meaning to "Peabody"

[Bluebear]

21. FREEPER limerick! . . .

There once was a Presedent named Slick Willy
Who had a wife called Hitlerry
and he then he lied about affair's with Lewinsky!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

[mcctatas]

22. Awwww

isn't it precious when freepers try to be witty and erudite??? God bless their wee little brains? :rofl:

[KyndCulture]

23. I thought the same... funny.. er.. something.

[SeattleGirl]

25. You guys are so great!

Don't know if I can come up with one (I'll try later) but I am enjoying the DU Limerick Talent Show!!

[alcibiades_mystery]

26. Dick Cheney

There was a VP name of Cheney
Loved to dress up like Dana Delaney
He partook of his sin
With his freaky wife Lynn
Pretty fly for a fat white guy, ain't he?

[Bluebear]

27. There was an old hooker named Guckert

the press room in D.C. he suckered.
The question remains
in the Democrat's brains,
whose lips in the White House were puckered?

[EnfantTerrible]

28. There once was an oil hungry monkey

Curiously named George, quite a flunky
Choked on pretzels and beer
Holidayed for a year
"Such Hard Work Being President!" thunk he

[alcibiades_mystery]

30. LOL

Nicely done

[omega minimo]

32. LOL Enfant C'est Bon!

"thunk he"

:rofl:

[alcibiades_mystery]

29. Donald Rumsfeld

There once was a Sec of Defence
Whose statements were dauntingly dense
He knew what he knew
Plus the unknown: it's true
But the unknown unknowns made no sense

[EnfantTerrible]

31. The props go to you...

I'm still laughing!

[oasis]

41. That one's a dandy.

[mcctatas]

33. Bill Frist...

There once was a "doctor" named Frist
Whose knickers were all in a twist
"You might get AIDS from kissin'
Course I'm only just guessin'
I can't get my fundie base pissed"

[alcibiades_mystery]

34. Colin Powell

There once was a Tom name of Powell
Who took care of the white folkses towels
He went on the floor
With a vial full of spores
And he tap-danced, and shimmied, and howled

[tiptoe]

60. "Brutal!"

:hide:

[omega minimo]

35. There once was a family of Bushes

Whose enabling mouthpiece Rush is
They took more than their measure
Of Earth's blood and treasure
Because they were globalized lushes

[alcibiades_mystery]

36. Scott McClellan

I knew a strange dwarf named McClellan
Whose weird lies were made weirder by yellin'
But a lawyer named Pat
Put a stop to all that
Now poor Scotty will end up a felon.

[oasis]

37. A rabid old preacher named Pat

On the right hand of Dubya he sat
He prayed all leftists be iced
Since killing commies for Christ
Will get him to heaven like that

[alcibiades_mystery]

38. Jeff Guckert

There was a reporter named Guck
Whose notepad was eight inches, cut
He'd toss softballs all day
Then he'd go out to play
You could rent him for just a few bucks

[EnfantTerrible]

39. There once was a Coulter named Ann

Who was lonely and longed for a man
Breath of bile and hate
From the *Bush* that she ate...
Perhaps her name should've been Stan?

[alcibiades_mystery]

40. Condolezza Rice

There once was a Doctor named Rice
Whose blinking could hypnotize mice
You can tell when she lies
By watching her eyes
Then again, just her words would suffice

[EnfantTerrible]

42. Karl Rove had a story to tell

To Novack and Miller, as well
She buttoned her lip
'Bout that treasonous tip
Judith... how does that turd-blossom smell?

[jayctravis]

43. Some people say cells embryonic

For longevity would be a tonic
The Bushes I fear
Just invested last year
Six billion for soldiers bionic

[EnfantTerrible]

44. There was a good Christian named Pat

Misunderstood in a televised chat
"It wasn't murder, you see..."
"Just abduction, from me..."
And our leaders said, "Well, that is that."

[SalmonChantedEvening]

45. There once was a coward in Crawford

Who ran off to Utah when offered
To meet with mother
He did something other
And took the first plane that was proffered

[Tyler Durden]

46. A chimpy named George in the zoo,

Liked to sit there and play with his poo.
But the thing he loved best,
(Next to beating his chest),
Was to smear his shit all over YOU.

[EnfantTerrible]

47. Nice...

:thumbsup:

[Tyler Durden]

48. Did the Navy and Naval Reserve,

Thought it Patriotic to serve,
Not like our boy Bush,
With his head full of Mush,
And his total absence of nerve.

[Tyler Durden]

49. Young Chickenhawks all do their best,

Avoiding a Military test
of their love for the land.
But they prove out of hand
It's the CHICKEN that stays on the nest.

[Tyler Durden]

50. A rePuke colleague named WAY,

For Bush always had a HOORAY!
But a "Guardsman" he was,
Now in Iraq for their cause.
I wonder what NOW he would say.

True story, by the way. This is the guy who called me "Pinko" and a "Libbie" for supporting Gore. Interestingly enough he wasn't HERE for the last election.

[pointblank]

51. There once was a fool named Hannity

From a mic he preached insanity
His lies and deceit
Gave way to Bush's defeat
Now he spends his time sniffing panties :P

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

52. Santorum

A man lives in Virginia, named Rick
Who is clearly mentally sick
Believes women should be
Barefoot and pregnant you see
In 06 he shall receive his just kick.

[Tyler Durden]

53. A "Buckeye" stopped by for a chat,

On another thread we had a spat,
But soon we could see,
He just happened to be
Just another GOP ASSHAT.

OSUBuckeye on http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4444849

WHY do they bother coming here?

[tiptoe]

55. deleted n/t

[progressivebydesign]

54. War Iimerick. Death of Democracy. This is Rush's Brain on Drugs

There once was a war in Iraq
Against people who didnt attack
Bush chortled with pride
We have GOD on our side!
while Halliburton rakes it in by the sack.



There was once a democracy so fine
for hundreds of years some would say it sublime
But with a wave of the court
and a privileged snort
the democracy died on the vine.


There once was a windbag named Rush
whose hyperbole no one could touch
in his drug induced state
he spewed buckets of hate
until his addled mind turned into mush.

[tiptoe]

56. Judith Miller

A Pulitzer Prizer named Judy
Felt that going to jail was her duty.
She entered the yard,
Thought "A year's not so hard..."
When some pullet surprised her petuty!

[omega minimo]

57. W

Though by some he's considered a moron
Dubya never forgets there's a war on
It's hard work loading lies
The White House catapult flies
Propaganda the better to pour on

[Dr Fate]

58. kick

n/t

[omega minimo]

59. !

:kick:

[Hubert Flottz]

61. Don't you know that you can't run the nation

Don't you know that you can't run the nation
If you stay on an endless vacation
Get your ass back to work
You ignorant Jerk
We've had enough of your bull defecation

You have poisoned our water and air
And Earth's climate is in disrepair
We've been raped at the pumps
Cause the voters were chumps
You're a pain in the ass I'll declare

All the world's figured out you're a prick
And our country's been run by a Dick
Your brain stays on vacation
You have screwed up our nation
I hope three years whiz by mighty quick.

You're a turd and a crook and a boor
You're a bastardly arrogant whore
Your trademark silly smirk
Has been failing to work
And you can't fool a soul anymore.

There's jobs in the paper for checkers
And someone who can flip double-deckers
Momma can't feed the kids
Health care too's on the skids
While the pResident plays with horse peckers

[Hubert Flottz]

62. I just got my ass up out of bed

With a Gawd awful ache in my head
But my headache has passed
Cause this thread was a gas
Thought I'd :kick: it so it don't go dead

[Binka]

63. Ole Judy Jail Eyes

A hack for the NY Times named Miller
Her PNAC/War screeds grew ever shriller
In a rush up to war
Judy proved she's a whore
Now Shit On A Shingle is her filler.

[Hubert Flottz]

64. My last kick on this baby!

How could so many imbeciles vote
For a fool who read bout his pet goat
When the terrorists came
And set New York aflame
He fled to someplace very remote