I never had communications with that man, Mr. Chertoff.

[democrank]

Good grief. How I`m yearning for a juicy White House sex scandal. I NEVER HAD COMMUNICATIONS WITH THAT MAN, MR. CHERTOFF. It would be a welcome relief from the abysmal mess festering in the White House. He`s-too-heavy-and-he-ain`t-my-brother-gate.

Forget Cheney. He just walks around with a briefcase, a 24/7 sneer and a pile of pre-approved Halliburton contracts. We know he doesn`t give a damn. But Bush? Mr. Compassionate Conservative? Maybe that month in Crawford and his new guitar made him forget he was a president. Maybe when he heard "eye of the hurricane" he assumed the weather folks made a mistake. They meant eye ON the hurricane (Karl`s) so he went back to strumming.

Any day now Rove`s costume designer will come up with a pair of down and dirty overalls instead of that blue silk shirt Bush wore to the catastrophe inspection this week. I can see it now. Fox News with an exclusive, Bush in a 4x4 with Zell Miller singing "Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry." Sound preposterous? So does watching a gazillion refrigerated trucks driving to the morge while Scotty warns everyone not to play the Blame Game.