Help me proof read my oped.

[usregimechange]

The Fact Check staff at Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania recently completed an analysis of the Bush Administration’s funding cuts relative to levees in the New Orleans area. They concluded that, “Bush indeed cut funding for projects specifically designed to strengthen levees” and that “local officials had been complaining about that for years.”

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ Hurricane Protection Project in this region was not complete and would not have been even if it was fully funded. It also was not designed to withstand hurricanes greater than a Category 3. However, any reasonable person would be able to admit, given hindsight, that cutting funding to levee projects in New Orleans turned out to be a poor decision. It could have helped a little or a lot but it could have saved lives.

Bush and company have been using the phrase “the blame game” to refer to attempts to hold officials accountable for the government’s response to Hurricane Katrina. Without our effort to question our leaders we are an assembly line of puppets, ponds on a chess board. At that moment, our freedoms could just as easily be taken by our own consent than by force.

[Der Blaue Engel]

1. "ponds" should be "pawns"

Otherwise, it's great.

[lildreamer316]

2. Looks good to me..

but I defer to others who may be more experienced.

[Alizaryn]

3. Sounds great to me!

The only thing I MIGHT consider is to move the last paragraph to the beginning.

[usregimechange]

5. Hummm, interesting idea.

[Zensea]

4. Pawns on a chess board, not ponds.

other than that from a technical standpoint looks ok.
(that is, purely proofreading)

[Autonomy]

9. that's "pawns on a chessboard" one word, not two

[Autonomy]

6. yeah, "pawns"

"relative to levees" is wordy. try "for levees"

"given hindsight" is awkward, since we all already have it.. to some degree. try "in retrospect"

the first sentence of the 3rd paragraph should be the first sentence of the first paragraph. otherwise, looks ok. :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Id' make this switch:

Without excercising our Constitutional right to question our leaders we are an assembly line of puppets, pawns on a chess board who have given up our freedoms by our own consent, giving up through our own complicity that which we are told we are waging a war to protect.

[Autonomy]

8. two more things:

the first sentence is wordy and stilted. take out anything extraneous. also, you start two sentences with pronouns. put in nouns. "it also" becomes "The project". The last sentence in the 2nd paragraph also starts with a pronoun. Comma before "but" in same sentence.

guess that's more than 2 things.

[usregimechange]

10. Thanks guys submitting now...

[kath]

11. I think you need a comma before "even if it was fully funded" in the

1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph.