What Bush will say on Thursday

[ck4829]

"I'm proud to announce that I will be turning the United States of America from a Republic TO AN EMPIRE!!!!!! This change will promise a thousand years of peace from terrorists and hurricanes!!!!!!!"

[ktowntennesseedem]

1. I'm happy to announce...

that good progress is being made on Trent Lott's porch.

[KyndCulture]

9. *LOL* now that wouldn't surprise me.

[ComerPerro]

2. Thunderous applause

[murielm99]

3. He will say that Cheney is resigning for health reasons, and

Giuliani will be nominated as VP. That way, if he is impeached, Giuliani will be in line for the 2008 election.

He will blather about the hurricane a bit, too.

[MichaelHarris]

4. I'm as tickled as a tick on an old hound to announce

that we will re-introduce slavery in the south to help build New Orleans into a Christian Community that even Jerry Falwell will be proud of.

[leftylady]

5. I'm skipping that one.

He never says anything at all. It's a total waste of my time.

This will all be political spin written by someone who is just as dumb as he is.

[NNadir]

7. I'm with you here. Whatever he says will be blather and posturing.

The man has no substance. None.

[leftylady]

11. I know. Its wierd that one person could be so flat.

[iconoclastic cat]

6. "I am announcing my divorce from Laura and my marriage to Jenna."

[maine_raptor]

8. I'm backing a new cake for the folks in New Orleans and

I'll be auctioning off my guitar for the relief efforts. All federal funds for re-construction will be handed over to those fine folks at Halliburton who will rebuild the city based on a design drawn up by my friends at Blackwater.

[calico1]

10. I am thrilled to annouce and I am sure you are all

thrilled to hear that because of my high approval rate and my mandate I will suspend elections indefinitely and appoint myself King. You may all bow after this speech.

[smoogatz]

12. It'll be a laundry list

of all the great stuff the White House is doing (now) for the poor, black evacuees from New Orleans. He'll mention two or three--all of whome will have successfully resettled in Houston (or wherever) with help from FEMA. No more mea culpas--he already had his "responsibility moment" yesterday.

[woodsprite]

13. Ah-bi-di, Ah-bi-di. That's all Folks!!! - fantasy mode off . n/t

[ktowntennesseedem]

14. In his best "Waterboy" voice: "I LOVE MY MOMMA!!!"

(My sincerest apologies to Adam Sandler.)