Jeb Reveals That Imaginary ‘Warrior Chang’ Guides His Every Move

[elehhhhna]

Jeb Reveals That Imaginary Friend ‘Warrior Chang’ Guides His Every Move
Posted September 18th, 2005 at 1:57 pm by Trish
This is too weird to make up. Jeb Bush has an imaginary friend. Gainesville Sun:http://www.gainesville.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050918/COLUMNS/50917061/1096/editorials

Here are Bush’s words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians: "Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down.‘’I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down."

http://www.pensitoreview.com/2005/09/18/jeb-reveals-that-imaginary-friend-warrior-chang-guides-his-every-move/

[Arkana]

1. This is a joke, right?

Please say this is a joke.

[elehhhhna]

6. nope. rad the links. Warrior Chang oughtta get with Jeb's out of control

children. Some discipline might do them some good.

[Arkana]

7. He must be toking some SERIOUS shit.

Like, controlled substance serious.

[elehhhhna]

16. copped it off noelle

[Arkana]

18. Maybe, but for the booze he goes to young John Ellis.

[mike_c]

8. nope-- Chang was handed down from father to son, grasshopper....

eom

[aquart]

2. And never, ever contradicts him.

Friendship, Bush style.

[DanCa]

3. How much drinking did Babs do when her boys were in her womb.

She musta been doing three kegs per day at least.

[bullimiami]

4. jeb is a sick fuck like the rest of the cancerous clan.

[orpupilofnature57]

5. I always knew he was just a bit too docile, I thought it was the inner bred

thing, Might rather pick up a book or two by Dr Spock.Does Chang work for Halliburton yet.

[Aviation Pro]

9. Too bad you....

...never volunteered for real military service, wimp. Oh, how's your 21-year old drunk son doing? I think it would do him a world of good to enlist in either the Marine Corps or Army and stand a watch in Tikrit.

[greekspeak]

10. I drive past the Governor's Mansion most days and I see Chang a lot

He gets up on the roof and does some really cool mystical conservative, capitalist, entrepreneurial moral ninja stuff. :eyes:

[fishwax]

41. lol ... entrepeneurial moral ninjas are sweeeet

[kitkat65]

11. Oh, dear.

"Hey, I'm gonna let my monkey fly this plane! Why? Cuz I'm fuckin' Buddy Holly, that's why!"

Yes, this is an obscure reference and for those that get it, I don't know exactly why I'm reminded of it.

[Tsiyu]

39. I think I get it

And maybe Chang can locate Osama?

[kitkat65]

40. Hint: Kids in the Hall n/t

[zippy890]

12. oh this is too funny

jeb's invisible friend Chang

thanks for the laugh

[MissWaverly]

13. I too had an imaginary friend when I was 5

but after I quit watching Mighty Mouse, he must of went to Jeb's House
to camp out.

[kitkat65]

25. I had at least five IFs. I lifted them from the H.R. Puffenstuff cast.

Anyhoo, I imagine my imaginary friends would really like to kick Jeb and Chang's asses. Somehow, I think we'd have the upper hand.

[Moosepoop]

47. Witchiepoo vs. Chang!

The ultimate alternate-reality Celebrity Boxing event!! :evilgrin:

[MissWaverly]

66. May the Force be with you! (no text)

[SammyWinstonJack]

67. Drop Dead Fred. So Jeb's bonkers? Who'da thunk it?

:crazy:

[MissWaverly]

70. I cannot believe that we have elected officials complete

with imagninary friends, if I hear that Laura still plays with Barbies
I will need a vacation.

[xray s]

14. and W channels Xena!

yee haw!

[spacelady]

15. I am rereading "Swan Song" by Robert R. McCammon, and there is a

paramilitary character who relies upon his "Shadow Soldier" to guide him through a nuclear disaster...chillingly similar.

[Mnemosyne]

21. That is a great book!

Imagine what the neocon's faces would look like when the cauls came off! Ewww.

[pa28]

17. Remember Hillary Clinton and Eleanor Roosevelt?

We were treated to a detailed national discussion in the media about Hillary Clinton's sanity. In case you don't remember this was after she revealed having imaginary conversations with the former first lady.

If it's Hillary vs. Jeb next time I know we'll have to hear all about Eleanor again. Maybe Jeb will be nice enough to tell us more about "Warrior Chang".

[DanCa]

19. So does chang ever hang out with God during family dinners?

If so what do they talk about ? Whose friend is stupider?

[elehhhhna]

45. No. Chang is a heathen.

[SammyWinstonJack]

68. LOL

Whose imaginary friend is stupider? Freaky Family the bushes.

[enki23]

20. he needs to be admitted as a fucking inpatient

but then, so does half our pathetic population. talk about full employment...

[Mnemosyne]

22. Is this a Ramtha kind of

thing?
When are they starting their mental health testing for the *'s? Hmm, needs thorazine methinks!

[peekaloo]

23. Brother Neil was guided by Tang.

:spank:

No wonder their kids are fucked up.

[ewagner]

24. Not defending the creep

but the article sounds like JEB was speaking metaphorically.....I hope.

[Cleita]

26. Evan as a metaphor it speaks volumes of what is

buzzing around in his brain.

[peekaloo]

27. but metaphors are only used by the fancy pants liberal elite.

;-)

[kcass1954]

31. Nothing metaphorical about the havoc he's wreaked in Florida. n/t

[SlavesandBulldozers]

28. it's always funny when

heirs preach about the entrepreneurial spirit.

just goes to show that no amount of money in the world can buy a sense of irony.

[Flying Dream Blues]

30. No kidding. Good eye. nt

[Bluebear]

29. OK he sounds psychotic, folks. nt

[phusion]

32. What the fuck?

Did he forget his meds?

[AnnieBW]

33. Maybe He's A Kloset Klingon?

And he's emulating this guy?

[daninthemoon]

34. Remember that scene in Amityvill Horror where the daughter is

talking to her spirit friend? The spirit friend turns out to be an actual demon. If anu bushes actually come right out and say they have a guiding spirit named Chang or whatever, I really wouldn't be too quick to dismiss it as just imaginary. I believe there is a helluva lot of evil guiding that whole bunch, and think about how many people you know who can't see anything but beauty and wonder flying out these guys assholes. Would you ever want to run into ANY of this crowd in the dark?

[shadowknows69]

42. I don't recall Spirit Warrior Chang

being in the bible. why isn't the religious right screaming "get behind me satan!!" at the Bushes?

[bobbieinok]

44. yes....where are Falwell, Robertson, Dobson when you need them??

[Richard Steele]

64. And keep in mind, these are folks who LITERALLY rob graves...

...to decorate their "secret clubhouse".
And they've been doing it for a few generations now.

[buzzsaw_23]

35. Are you there Chang?

The only way up is down.
One step from disaster
Two to get to higher ground

[Warren DeMontague]

36. See, kids, don't do drugs.

Either he's on something, or "Chang" is some kind of new fundy name for Jesus, or both.

[BrewerJohn]

37. Geez, some of us have suspected that this neocon stuff is a cult

And now Jeb is giving away the whole deal!
Also, as a Catholic, he's not supposed to be having truck with mystical warriors of unknown provenance. I think Benny needs to be on the case. An exorcism may be in order here!

[mitchum]

38. All of Bab's children suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome

what a lush

[Wizard777]

43. LMAO Morrison's lawyer must have a new client. Jim had an Indian guide.

I've seen the pictures of Jim Morrison fucked up and sprawled out on the floor of his Fla. office. I can hardly wait to see the Pictures of Jeb.

[UTUSN]

46. Ready for a Weirder, Even More Dangerous Shrub?

There's got to be a picture of Jeb Crow Shrub with the gold sword somewhere. We need it.

[elehhhhna]

48. Found! Jebbie's sword photo:

[elehhhhna]

49. Jeb never mentions Changs' twin, Eng:

[crispini]

50. You know, I don't mind the whole idea

of consulting, even in your mind, with someone wiser than you are. Let's say you read a lot of Thoreau, for example -- you might think of that historical personage as somebody to "live up to."

But I don't think this is any kind of historical real person -- this is just someone he's made up. :eyes:

[AzDar]

51. ...Just like Georgie's imaginary friend, Jeebus! n/t

[elehhhhna]

56. he actually prefers Baby Jeebus (no backtalk)

[AzDar]

60. LOL.... Oh God, you are probably right!! n/t

[lectrobyte]

52. He really misheard the lyrics to Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

[ikri]

53. If I got on stage

In front of hundreds of people to discuss the invisible neo-conservative warrior with whom I'm friendly with I'd end up discussing it somewhat further with some mental health practitioners.

Doesn't this prove that he is nuts?

[Cocoa]

54. that's also what he calls his penis

Bush to his wife, "I feel like unleashing Chang tonight."

[daninthemoon]

59. Behold mighty chang. Bow to him. Bring the virgin sacrifice.

[Bluebear]

72. hehehehe

Bring Katherine Harris.

[Cathyclysmic]

55. If it were not 2005......

I would say this is a result of too much inbreeding among an aristocratic family. Hell, maybe it is :wow:

[Brewman_Jax]

57. Being a student of Chinese culture and history

I can't find a "warrior Chang." I thought he was talking about something else 'til I read the article.

He doesn't need a governor's desk, he needs a psychiatrist's couch.

[driver8]

58. All this time I thought Jeb was guided by his pet rock.

What a douchebag.

[Seansky]

61. between this, his kids' problems, and what seems to be

*'s disassociated states, no wonder things the admin does seem so crazy and out of touch.

[musette_sf]

62. This reminds me of the Beavis episode

where he tells Butt-Head that he has voices in his head. Sometimes it's a Chinese guy and sometimes it's a Mexican guy. The voices tell Beavis, "Pull down your pants! Spank your monkey!"

[Gruenemann]

63. I'm guided by Chong

Tommy Chong, that is.

[killbotfactory]

65. Does that mean he hates Jesus?

WTF is wrong with this goddamned family?

[MisterP]

69. my head hurts: who are these people?!

[Bluebear]

71. I hope it's some Chinese restaurant he's fond of.

But somehow I don't think that is the case.