Boozing in Bush Country: Welcome to the bottom of the bottle

[Generic Other]

The National Enquirer reports that Bush has fallen off the wagon:
Faced with the biggest crisis of his political life, President Bush has hit the bottle again, the National Enquirer can reveal. Bush, who said he quit drinking the morning after his 40th birthday, has started boozing amid the Katrina catastrophe. Family sources have told how the 59-year-old president was caught by First Lady Laura downing a shot of booze at their family ranch in Crawford, Texas, when he learned of the hurricane disaster. His worried wife yelled at him: "Stop, George." http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63426

While few defend the Enquirer as a hard news source, it's worth noting that where celebrity dirt is concerned, they usually deliver the goods. One can easily imagine Laura pursing her closet-smoker wrinkled lips in disapproval as George knocked back a snootful. Picture the scene on Tuesday, 8/30, as George returned home from a day in San Diego where he had strummed a guitar with the presidential seal emblazoned on it and re-lived the end of WWII. He would have had a chance to watch the DVD of the devastation caused by Katrina and the flooding of the levees in NOLA which followed, thanks to his aide Dan Bartlett. Bartlett apparently feared interrupting the president's vaction by forcing him to pay attention, since George hadn't really kept up on the story other than to make a lame comment or two to the press when he was in Arizona promoting a prescription drug benefit to seniors and licking cake off his fingers at Senator John McCain's birthday party.

Meanwhile, outside the ranch, Cindy Sheehan, the Goldstar Mother who camped in a ditch on Prairie Chapel Road for an entire month demanding to see the president, was vowing to follow him back to Washington DC. Thanks to her he had been trapped on the ranch unable to even go to a $5000 a plate fundraiser down the road in Bush Country without facing the protesting parents of dead American soldiers and a stark row of crosses lining the road.

Now, the weather seemed bent on ruining what was left of Bush's vacation. If ever a man needed a drink, this would have been the day.

[hardrainfallin]

1. Geez, Laura's grammar isn't much better than Georgie's

surely what she meant to say was

Stop George!

[Generic Other]

4. Yes, you're right. It's a call for help on her part!

She probably hoped WH aides would wrestle the bottle out of his hand before he went off on a bender that ended in a lost weekend in Vegas.

[samdogmom]

2. Here's the part I'm having trouble with: 'It's Jim Beam or me.'

What in the world will Laura do without Dubuya? Where is she going to go hide out for the next three years? Won't anybody miss her at the White House? Surely, she's not talking about the big D? Can you get divorced in the White House? Isn't that against their family values thing? Oh my, I'm so confused.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

3. I've been thinking about that...if she used that line in the past

to get him to stop drinking, I think he probably knows that she wouldn't dare threaten him with divorce now, not while he is in the white house. What kind of a legacy would that leave both of them? Irate drunk and wife who exposes him by packing her bags? I doubt she would ever let it come to that, and he probably knows it, so he is taking advantage of the situation. Poor Laura...stuck between a rock and a hard place. Oh well, we all have problems. Pfffft.

[Generic Other]

15. She saw what happened to Neil's wife

Laura's a docile cow. She's not talking to Kitty Kelley anytime soon.

[Matariki]

5. not that i doubt it

but since when did the National Enquirer become a quote worthy and/or reliable news source?

[IndyJones]

7. LOL, that's what I want to know!

[Generic Other]

11. Are you saying there are MORE credible journalists around?

And which damn papers would those be? The ones whose headlines contradict the contents? The ones who publish half-truths, slanted polls, and spin?

What gives them the right to look down their noses at the Enquirer? It at least is honest about being a sensational rag. Just the sort of paper that should expose the likes of Bush.

Did not the Enquirer first break the story on Rush and the Oxycontin scandal? On Jeb's daughter's drug rehab adventures? On the drunken twins' sluttishness? Let them contunue to probe the dirty little secrets of the ruling class and place them right under our noses in the grocery stores where we can't miss them. More power to them!

And remember, it's the servant class that knows the secrets. Ask the maid if you want to know what they are up to in the big house.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

6. Get ready for a flood of Bush drinking jokes

Like this one:

George Bush went for his annual presidential physical. All of his tests came back with normal results except for an extremely high alcoholic content in his blood. His Doctor said, 'George, everything looks great physically except for your drinking. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God? George replied, 'God and me are tight. He's even fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom 'poof!' the light goes on when I pee, and then 'poof!' the light goes off when I'm done.' 'Wow,' commented his Doctor, 'that's incredible!' A little later in the day his Doctor called George's wife. 'Laura' he said, 'George seems just fine. Despite his drinking, physically he's normal. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and 'poof!' the light goes on in the bathroom, and then 'poof!' the light goes off? Laura exclaimed, 'That drunken fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!'

[Rageneau]

8. One reason a guy might keep turning up with facial scrapes...

is that he's been getting falling down drunk for some time.

Or has been getting into physical fights.

Or both.

[mzteris]

9. maybe that's why pickles

disappeared....... to hide the bruises?

[Generic Other]

10. The pretzel story never did have a convincing ring, did it?

Most families cover for alcoholics.

As I recall, Rove visited Crawford a few days later. He probably needed to smuggle out the empty bottles.

[cassiepriam]

18. He seems to have neurological impairment....

he could be falling down a lot, especially when he is toasted.
That would explain why he hits his head, he does not have the reflexes to shield his face or break his fall. Or he could be passing out.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

12. What did Bush do on his 40th birthday to make him give it up

the next day?
He must've made a real ass of himself.

[Generic Other]

13. On July 28, 1986, George W. Bush woke up with a hangover.

It had been a loud, liquid night at the venerable Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs as he and friends from Texas celebrated their collective 40th birthdays. Now, as he embarked on his ritual morning run through a spectacular Rockies landscape, Bush felt lousy.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/campaigns/wh2000/stories/bush072599.htm

[Generic Other]

14. Mini Bar Contents at the Broadmoor Hotel's junior suites

$400-3,900 per night.

Russian River wine, Joseph Drouhin Beaujolais-Villages wine, Jack Daniels Bourbon, Finlandia Vodka, Courvoisier Cognac, Crown Royal Whiskey, Grand Marnier, Glenlivet 12 yr. old single malt scotch and more!

http://www.broadmoor.com/page.asp?id=room_details

[cassiepriam]

16. Something happened at that party.....

He was supposed to have made a pass in a vulgar way at an older respected female of some import..... funny no one ever mentions junior's sexually inappropriate past. He was supposed to be quite a womanizer when boozing and drugging.

[cassiepriam]

17. Something happened at that party.....

He was supposed to have made a pass in a vulgar way at an older respected female of some import..... funny no one ever mentions junior's sexually inappropriate past. He was supposed to be quite a womanizer when boozing and drugging.