24yrs ago ..........

[IN-dem]

24 yrs ago I was 16 and pregnant. Most of my family had shunned me, aunts, uncles, and one grandma. My mom and dad were great after the initial shock wore off they were there for me and my husband. I was the talk of the family " you don't want to end up like "M" & "L" do you?" was quoted by and my uncle to his children who were just a year younger than me. Another quote "They made their bed now they can lie in it...They better not come around here with their hand out" And we didn't, my husband graduated a year and half later and I graduated 2 half years later. We had a beautiful daughter, we both worked and we did have help from my parents and sometimes his dad. But we made it. Now the real reason I am writing this is because one particular aunt and uncle want me to belong to their church and I am guessing to think like they think. My question is why now? Because I didn't abort the baby 24yrs ago? NO? Because they respect me and my husband now? NO? Or could it be that my husband makes "fairly good money" now? YES!!!!!! That's it!!! we can add money to the til now. My aunt and uncle are religious fanatics and repubs all the way. So where was the arm acrossed my shoulder when I needed it most. Why now? They shunned me for being pregnant and we kept our daughter and raised her..but I wasn't good enough until about 14yrs ago when we bought our first house and my aunt and uncle were real estate agents. Guess who was the first ones to call me on the phone when they found out we wanted to buy a house. Now I guess we are good enough. Thanks for listening..I had to vent because my uncle has been sending me some "gods will" e-mails about hurricane Katrina.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. Wow. I feel

so sorry for ya. As a teen myself, I understand where you're coming from. It sucks that your aunt/uncle have to be that way. If there's one type of Repub I can't stand (besides the crooks in office now) it's the religious fanatics.

[meegbear]

2. Give 'em hell!!

And kudos for you and your hubby for staying together and making it!!

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

3. Damn. Talk about them coming to you with an open hand!

They seem really shitty. 14 years ago, they weren't there for you. Fuck them now.

[BlueJac]

4. Tell it like it is...

good for you...:applause:

[m0nkeyneck]

5. donate to ACLU and send them...

a copy of the check ;-P

[sarcasmo]

6. IMHO you should remind them to not come around here with their hand out..

[Joe Chi Minh]

14. I like that. It would have been particularly sweet,

if IN-Dem had told them that, when they tried to bum their custom for their real-estate agency

[displacedtexan]

7. Tell them you appreciate their thoughts and prayers...

but you and your family, like them, have to choose your own path.

That was one of the great things about my family. After the Sunday school years, we kids were left alone to make up our own minds about either how we would worship or whether we chose to worship. There was no pressure whatsoever.

[madokie]

12. Same here, The last church service I attended was in bootcamp

in 1967 because we had to. They still have the church that my dad started back in the early 50's. As we kids went into high school we were never pressured to attend church again. And I respect my parents for that. My dad believed in you teach them young and when they get older let them make up their own minds.

[okieinpain]

19. man i wish i could teach my wife that.

[Joe Chi Minh]

15. That seems to credit them with

a true Christian faith... Can't see it.

[NorCalDem]

8. Tell them

"If I wasn't good enough for you and your church when I was 16, then I'm certainly not good enough now." and respectfully decline. Don't give them any other answers, just let them figure it out, that you don't care for them because they don't care for you!

[newportdadde]

9. Personally I would never speak to them again.

People like that are all the same, here you are two young kids who grew up fast, I have a two year old myself, its hard enough doing it at 28 much less being your and your husbands age wow. They want to contact you because you defied the odds, stayed married, raised a great kid I imagine and are now doing well for yourselves so now they want to dip their hand in the cookie jar(just like your house hunting.. I really hope you didn't use them for that!).

Personally I would just circle file them.

[IN-dem]

20. Yes we did

"raised a great kid I imagine"
Our daughter will be 24 in December. And she will be graduating from college soon. We also have a 13 yo. Daughter.

[madmom]

10. I would tell them that my morality would not let me associate ...

their kind.

[xxqqqzme]

11. As I was readfing your post,

I was thinking - wow this sounds like how it was when I grew up in Indiana!!!! bingo!!!!

There is no pleasing this type of person. They will always hand down judgment before the story is finished. If U respond, shortly thereafter will follow yet another suggestion, followed by another. It never stops. there will always B another hoop 2 jump through, so they can then judge the manner in which U jump. They are not worthy of any response or acknowledgement from you I have a family full of these people, spend as little time as possible with them.

[IN-dem]

18. Yes I am here in Indiana. "waving" nt

[midnight armadillo]

13. Tell them...

...to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. Use those exact words. They let you down when you most needed their help and showed their true colors. Don't let people like this in, they'll just use you up and spit you out.

[MsTryska]

16. i seriously hope you say these things to your relatives too.

rub their hypocritical faces in it.

[IN-dem]

17. Thanks for the replies

I like all the responses. But I think I will take the HIGH road and politely decline as we have been doing. And no we didn't use them as our real estate agents when we bought our house we used a friend of my husbands, his family was having a hard time and he needed the commission money. I'm not against religion. But I feel like it is our choice how we worship and we chose not to worship their way. Thanks again for your replies and you never know I might use them in the future.

[struggle4progress]

21. I'm still tryin to unnerstan why G-d keeps sendin all them hurricaners ..

.. to the "red" states. Whatz G-d tryin to tell us?

[IN-dem]

29. I sent my uncle the e-mail about George drinking and you know what

his reply was??? We need to pray for him..I thought I was going to die...But the people in N.O. don't need prayers??????

[FogerRox]

22. Your friends are the ones who stuck by you when times were tuff

But I think you know that--

[Sunkiss BlueStar]

23. You can be my momma!

Same story with the Church goin Relatives. My great aunt wouldn't let her kids play with my mom.

My great aunt said "My mom wasn't good Christian Material".

My mom shrugged it off and went on with her life, but she became the spiritual leader of the house and the best parent ever.

I guess those kind of relatives dont think that maybe the outcast moms will tell their children how certain family members treated them.

I'm very sure that these Christians would have killed the Virgin Mary.

[roguevalley]

24. come sit beside me, honey. you and your hubby are my kind of people

[IN-dem]

27. Thank you. I guess it is only fitting that I post my 100th post here!!!!

[AuntiBush]

25. Are We Related Paternally (Southern)?

Hold your head way high! You made it on you're own. Be proud and if I were you, I'd turn that other cheek real fast. You made it "this far" without, keep on going.

Honestly, they sound like my late-father's side from the south whom I'm sincerely glad I wasn't raised around. Nothing personal to my fellow southern Du'ers. It's just an area they're from.

Godspeed to you. You don't need our advise. Read between you're own lines and welcome to DU!

:hi:

[IN-dem]

28. Thanks for the welcome..nt

[Festivito]

26. Sunny-day-only people, eh!

It may help to be pointedly kind. The enemy inside them gets burned most badly with such kindness.

People love having their opinion asked.

Some would turn people in trouble into the least of persons, offering no visit, no food, no clothing -- worse, to point and to push to failure. Then, when failure turns to good fruit, these some want to take the house and its owners for themselves.

Would you, Aunt and Uncle want your children to associate with people who shun others during rainy days, and who come around only when the sun shines?

..(Mt 25:37..) ..when did we see you hungry and fed you? or thirsty, and gave you drink? a stranger, and took you in? or naked, and clothed you? Or sick, or in prison, and visited you? .. what you have done to the least of these my brethren you have done to me.