Need help with repug email in inbox

[TrogL]

Citizens of the United States, I want to offer my sincerest apologies for the nature of the federal response to the hurricane Katrina disaster. My administration and I have completely failed to predict how completely stupid and inept the local and state government was in Louisiana.

Frankly, I expected a response more along the lines of that from Mississippi, in which the locals were able to support themselves for a few days until we brought in the cavalry. However, it is clear that the state and local government leaders in Louisiana are incapable of such self reliance and emergency planning.

So, as Harry Truman said, the buck stops here and I take complete responsibility for failing to recognize that we were dealing with idiots in Louisiana, people who cannot manage their own state. I am embarrassed to admit this, because after all, a simple review of the state's history and position should be more than enough to demonstrate that these people are absolute morons that need to be completely supported from day one. Sometimes I am not very good at seeing the obvious.

I should have predicted that the local government would release the criminals being held in prison into the general population instead of evacuating them. Likewise, I failed to predict that Louisiana citizens would begin shooting at and attacking the very people who were trying to help them. Along a similar vein, I should have recognized that we would need to move the people along with the wide screen televisions, clothes and other items they had stolen from local stores. Many people were heard screaming "I just stole this s4 and now you want me to leave it behind, f4 you!" I frankly cannot believe that I failed to predict such activity in and around N.O.

Also, I should have recognized that the federal plan would be too complicated for Governor Blanco. My failure to "dumb down" the proposal, my failure to recognize my audience, likely resulted in the loss of hundreds of lives. The extra 24 hours she needed to understand the plan was critical, I should have predicted that she was too stupid to be able to make an executive decision in short order. (said tearfully) Had I only offered a more simple minded plan, more people would have survived.

Likewise, I want to apologize for buckling under pressure from Democrats to limit what they called pork barrel spending. When Senator Kennedy publicly criticized my spending bill, asking me to reduce the federal spending on local projects in N.O., I caved in and reduced expenditures on the N.O. levee system that would have strengthened it to a point of being able to withstand the forces of a category four storm. I will never know if my spineless response to Senator Kennedy's harassment was instrumental in the failure of the levee system in N.O.

However, I can assure the American people that I have learned a valuable lesson. I will no longer allow the ineptness of local and state governments to circle around and cause hardship for the local citizenry. I will step in sooner to save them from their stupidity. I am frankly accustomed to being in a room with people who are smarter than me. I have little experience working with people who are even less intelligent than I am.

All I can hope is that the American people forgive me my shortcomings, and God Bless America.

George W. Bush

I suspect most of this is bullshit. Am I right?

[Autonomy]

1. No, most of it isn't

ALL of it is bullshit.

[ET Awful]

2. It's all bullshit.

Start with the lie that Bush's decision to cut funding by 80% (and request that same 80% cut from Congress) is what undercut the funding for levee reinforcement. Work backwards from there.

It's a load of horseshit from start to finish and back again.

[bowens43]

3. Help with this email:

Hit the 'Delete' key.

[LSK]

4. hit your delete button n/t

[moc]

5. On the levee funding issue, WH solely responsible for cuts in funding

See this detailed account. Saying Kennedy requested it is bullshit.

http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/2329/


Pretty much everything else in the e-mail is b.s., but I wanted to point out the issue of funding in particular.

[kahleefornia]

6. After all,

I'm just the president. Who would expect me to set an example, lead people, notice where local government needs help or guidance? It's easier to just shrug it off and say it's someone else's fault.

[Vinnie From Indy]

7. You "suspect" this is BS?

How much clearer could it be? I would write back with the simple sentence, "George Bush is an incompetent fraud and your letter proves you to be an uninformed, unthinking partisan fanatic."

[tjwash]

8. Just yawn and send them these links:

here's one
But law enforcement officials say most of those stories about crime are either untrue or exaggerated. There have been some incidents, but there was no riot in Baton Rouge and officials at shelters in other cities report few problems. Houston police spokesmen say the crime level even dropped slightly during the week that more than 100,000 evacuees from New Orleans arrived here.

and this one
We don't have any substantiated rapes," the New Orleans Police superintendent Edwin Compass told the British newspaper The Guardian, speaking of the situation at the Superdome. Nor have any bodies of victims of foul play turned up there. The Federal Aviation Administration and military officials have cast doubt on the story of the rescue helicopter that came under fire outside Kenner Memorial Hospital on Aug. 31.

and this one also for good measure
Reports of anarchy at Superdome overstated

Of course they will most likely try to pull the old reliable "but it's the liberal media here, you can't trust them one little bit. At that point you know you have slapped them down.