Help me respond to this SHIT email - I AM TOO MAD right now.....

[we can do it]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR NEXT PRESIDENT GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

And I wouldn't care what party he represented.

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete..

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains! the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. By the way Palestinians, we are no longer going to restrain Israel !

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia Thanks for all your help, comrades.

We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the fine st chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty---starting now. We are sick and tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell. God Bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, Thank a U.S. Soldier!!!!!!!!!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

1. I got so involved in the email

I forgot it was an email and thought you were sending it yourself. I almost flamed you!

I like the part about leaving Iraq right away, though.

And isolationism..well, it is tempting.

Don't bother to answer it. You won't get anywhere. Trash it and take the person off your address book.

[we can do it]

8. Thats funny

i got it from a friend who usually makes sense....i went off on her - it turns out she only read the part about getting out of iraq, then sent it to me. SHEEEEESH :eyes:

[madrchsod]

2. where did this email come from?

why did you receive it? what email program are you using that ,i am assuming,lets spam emails?
i suggest you review your email account

[Roland99]

3. That's a couple of years old...total Freeper BS

[tjdee]

4. Asia holds billions of our bonds,so they can buy and sell us if they want.

This is something every freeper should recognize.

Japan and China own billions of dollars worth of US bonds--Thanks for that deficit, Bush!

They can call them in at any time (though they have reasons they are not). So they may be on List 2 or whatever bullshit, but we really don't want to piss Japan and China off.

[rocktivity]

5. Write another "speech"

in which Bush pulls the troops because he lied about the war, calls in the UN, admits to his corporatism and media manipulation, confesses to murder, theft and military dersertion, puts Gore and Kerry in charge, rolls back the tax cuts, and turns himself and his cabinet in for treason!

:headbang:
rocknation

[babylonsister]

6. This is old! Once upon a time it was attributed to

Robin Williams; I'd say, just ignore. And whoever sent it to you-their ignorance is showing. They're not even original!

[Bozita]

7. The math here isn't fuzzy; it's downright furry

from the email:

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

[Berry Cool]

12. It really is not worth responding to, but it would be fun to come up with

a parody of it, wouldn't it?

Such as:

WOULDN'T IT BE INTERESTING TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR OUR NEXT PRESIDENT GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

And you KNOW what party he would represent.

My Fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed. Since the defeat cost us every penny every American or his children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren will ever have in their entire lifetimes, we have no choice but for our mission in Iraq to be complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. That's going to cost us a bit of money too, but I have a plan.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries that have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, we are hitting up all the nations on List 1 for foreign aid. They have supported us so far; they can REALLY support us now. The money we get from them may put a slight dent in the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France. We're broke.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Please leave us alone. Have pity on us. We've got nothing left to pay for homeland security. Hell, with what we've got in our coffers for emergency relief, we can't even fight off a good hurricane.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. We can't afford to keep it open.

I have instructed the mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. It may not go far toward paying for the war, but at least it's a start.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other as our people flee to your country to get away from ours, you folks might want to try being kind to us and not kicking us when we're down. After all, you're supposed to be our friendly neighbor, right? Otherwise we might ask you to try sending us some of YOUR money as your country grows more productive and prosperous than ever thanks to the intelligence and ingenuity of your American refugees who have gone there to live and work. Mexico is also on List 2. Unfortunately, you guys are too poor for us to hit up for charity.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Heaven knows we are too impoverished to do anything else at this point.

A half century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world by invading them and attempting to force democracy on them via warfare has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. After all, it is pretty widespread right about now, thanks to all the money we blew on those wars.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. Now, brother, can you spare a dime? To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Go to Hell. God Bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, you should be...after all, that's what language it's written in!

[Catrina]

19. Good one

I would also like to hear the imaginary president add this:

To Halliburton, Bectel, Caci, and all you other vultures who mispent most of the billions of dollars we gave you, lawyer up!! We want it back!


And to Bremer: Find that $9 billion in Iraqi oil revenues that you 'lost track of in all the confusion at the beginning of the war'. Take up a collection from your friends or whatever, but we and the Iraqi people want that back also.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

20. Well done!

You should add a part where he resigns in shame at the end.

[RevolutionStartsNow]

21. Well done! nt

[Mr Rabble]

23. I saw that also.

We spend less than 1% of our budget on foreign aid. Our budget this year is $1.86t. That makes our foreign aid about $10b.

Furry math indeed.

[orwell]

9. A few comments

Most "foreign aid" is thinly disguised welfare for US multinationals. We give other countries money to buy US goods and services. Read the fine print.

Republicans never redirect money toward vexing social problems at home. That is what they trash Democrats for trying to do.

Canada is our number 1 foreign energy supplier and will eventually be our number 1 foreign water source. Mexico is either number 2 or 3. Now who shouldn't piss who off?

Restrain Israel? With the Neocons in office, the "chain of command" probably works the other way around.

We don't believe in hunting down terrorists. That would be a "police action" which the Republicans scorn. Republicans believe in destroying whole countries to find one "terrorist leader." See Iraq.

Retire from NATO. That is a laugh. Bush wants to expand NATO.

NAFTA is a Republican wet dream passed by a Democratic president. If you want to get rid of NAFTA you better elect a Progressive Congress not wed to US multinationals. But that would take vision and real campaign finance reform.

If you can read and understand this, don't thank the US propaganda machine known as television. If this planet still sustains life in 100 years, thank a hippie environmentalist.

Since this is a fantasy, maybe you should wake up and smell the coffee. Thank you and good morning.

[we can do it]

13. Those are all good - I am passing them on as we speak

I had a melt down after getting this (as stated above from a sensible friend who was too busy to read it through before sending it to me) - and I'm pulling it together now. She said sorry - she was filtering it through me cause she was busy, but she neglected to inform me of what she was doing.......

[Mich Otter]

10. Quite simply, "America is so self centered, the rest of the World is ...

getting sick of us. They want to see America respecting Human Rights, International Law, and the Environment. Instead we all have to put up with Neo-Cons who make fortunes from death and destruction."

[Flammable Materials]

11. Click "Delete". Your "friend" gave no thought in sending it.

You should give no thought to replying to it.

[mikehiggins]

14. This crap again?

I must have gotten this thing a dozen times over the last couple of years. It comes in cycles, like gout or herpes, popping up and then disappearing again until the next cycle.

Nothing to be done but ignore it until it goes away.

[flyarm]

15. here is a bit i did on it...

snip:

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

answer..thats where the money should have and would have gone if you Mr President had not lied and taken us into an illegal war of aggression based on nothing but damn lies!

yes remember Mr. President ..you cut 73 million $$$ from the CORP OF
ENGINEERS in Louisana <this year> that was approprieated for the levies and then you gave 75 million$$$ to Iraq to bribe the Sunni's into signing the Iraq Constitution...so you see Mr President..you already robbed our money to use as bribes..and we know it..and we won't put up with it anymore!! This year you cut 70% of the corps money for the levies, and last year you took 44% of the approprieated money away from the levies and gave that money to your war of lies!


so again Mr. President you have more American blood on your hands for your failures and your "vacations"..yes we all know you had no clue Americans were drowning, dying of dehydration, and starving and dying in hospitals , while you played golf at Coronado, played guitar with a country western musician and ate cake with abandon..all while you laughed and had a hardy har time..while people died!!

We the People want a refund...your product of homeland security is a failure..and so are you!!


snip:

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

answer..

well didn't you already say that????????????????????????????????????????? with full bravado you little coward..where is BIN FORGOTTEN?? Yes we know you< could > have gotten him on a silver platter when you let him go in Tora Bora..and you could have stopped him when he was in an American hospital in Dubai in July 2001 and was visitied by our Cia when you mr. President ... you liar, were sitting on several Pdb's warning of Bin Forgotten going to attack us, using airliners...but we know Mr. Bravado chickenhawk..you were too busy, when over 50 warnings came into your office ..taking your vacation!!


fly

[Starbucks Anarchist]

16. Considering foreign aid is 1% of our budget at best...

That wouldn't even begin to cover the costs of the Iraq war.

[Bozita]

17. "I support public schools by buying a lottery ticket every week"

same mentality

[Starbucks Anarchist]

18. Exactly.

[usafguy99]

22. I guess those numbers were from before the war started and

everyone (as least * and his cronies) assumed that it would only cost a few billion dollars.

Everyday I hate Bush more and more... such hatred can't be healthy.

[Nobody]

24. One word: Katrina

This is an old email, but it no longer applies.

After Katrina hit, the US got aid from a lot of nations, including Afghanistan, offering 100,000 dollars, and Venezuela offering several million barrels of oil less than one week after Pat Buchanan called for the assassination of Hugo Chavez. Cuba offered doctors. There was an entire list of offerings, from all over the world, including nations we didn't have good relations with. We are neighbors to the world and we better start acting like it.

[B Calm]

25. E-gads this is so old! Well, send this old e-mail back to them!

WHAT HAS GOP DONE FOR

WORKERS?

CLINT C. GOLD
10/24/1999
Tulsa World


Not too long ago, my wife and I attended a TV football
party in south Tulsa. With a lopsided score, the
conversation turned to a livelier subject -- politics. The
crowd was, of course, top-heavy with Republicans. With each
point expressed their faces became more flushed, eyes
bulging a little more and veins popping in their foreheads
as they railed against the liberal programs.

Finally a lone, liberal voice asked: "Will you people
name me one bill your party ever passed to help the working
man of this country?" The question created much din and
clamor, and someone sputtered, "Well, what have the
Democrats done?"

The liberal responded with a few programs and was
interrupted by howling and disdain. He noted that he had
not promised they would like the programs and he asked to
complete his statement -- a difficult task to ask of
Republicans.

He spoke of Social Security; Medicare-Medicaid; Peace
Corps; unemployment insurance; welfare (for the poor and
corporate); civil rights; student grant and loan programs;
safety laws (OSHA); environmental laws; prevailing wage
laws; right to collective bargaining (which brought about
paid medical insurance, paid vacations, pensions, etc.);
workers' compensation; Marshall Plan; flood-disaster
insurance; School Lunch Program; women's rights.

He spoke of the Fair Labor Standards Act, which
established a minimum wage, instituted child labor laws,
and set up time-and-a-half pay for over a 40-hour week.

He mentioned FHA-HUD with its public housing, urban
renewal and 44 million residential homes (before WWII
almost 70 percent of our nation were renters; by the 1970s
this had been reversed). And farm-conservation
subsidies -- USDA programs, Farmers Home Administration (the
bankers didn't want to make rural loans), small
flood-control lakes (more than 3,000 in Oklahoma alone),
rural water districts, rural electricity (REA).

The GI Bill was passed, which the Republicans at the
time bitterly opposed. They were salivating over millions
of returning veterans to hire as cheap labor. More than 8 million have used college benefits, creating millions of
entrepreneurs; most of us had never dreamed of college. For
the unemployed GI, there was $20 a week for 52 weeks to
help get started (a lot of money in those days). The
Veterans Administration provided more than 2 million home
loans.

For the bankers at the football party, it was pointed
out that the liberals saved their industry with the
creation of FDIC and FSLIC, insuring their deposits, and
saved Wall Street with the establishment of the Securities
Exchange Commission.

The oil men came on bended knees to FDR at a time when
East Texas oil was 4 cents a barrel and begged him to save
their industry. He did; prorationing overturned the rule of
capture and the days of flush production were over.
Prorating has served this great industry (and nation)
well.

And the list went on and on, but of course this group
didn't let him get halfway through. He noted they were
weary, inattentive, so again he challenged them to offer up
any Republican legislation examples.

"I'm sure your party has authored one or two comparable
bills from time to time, but I can't think of any, and
apparently you can't either. What it boils down to is this:
the liberals dragged you into the 20th century scratching
and screaming with your heels in the mud, fighting anything
that's progressive, everything that's made this country
great. You Republicans have never understood that the
spending power of blue-collar workers, obtained through
Democrats and unions, is what really made this country
great. You really believe "The Good Life" was obtained from
your own endeavors. You cloak your greed in religion and
patriotism, railing against any form of tax, never
comprehending that these programs have benefitted all of us
and our country."

Well, I almost didn't make it out of the house. My wife
and I didn't even get to see the end of the football game.


If Reps. Steve Largent or J.C. Watts had been there,
perhaps politics would never have come up, only the game
plan ... pity.
Clint C. Gold is former mayor of Moore and a retired
savings and loan executive.

http://www.MikeMalloy.com

[Sarah Ibarruri]

26. That's Freeper bs that's been posted by neo-cons everywhere

I say we stop posting it. Posting it here is a good waste of pixels.