I'm making a book about the Christian Rapture

[ck4829]

All the Christians get raptured.

And then all the Heathens (Including a Muslim like me) have to survive on Earth.

We are the 'Left Behind'.

And, there's this guy who becomes all powerful, but he's actually Satan.

Here's the cover and Satan's on the cover too.

[kikiek]

1. I think you should skip the rapture and go right to the Satan part. It

would be non fiction then.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

2. The problem with that scenario

is that the stinky fake Christians will be down here and only the five or six true Christians will get to go.

And those stinky ones are gonna be pissed and they won't be in Church on Sundays and Wednesdays and will bother the hell out of the rest of us.

[Syncronaut Seven]

3. It seems Jim Jones was just a bit ahead of his time.

let 'em go have their rapture, we'll manage just fine.

MEMO: GOD
RE:Your followers.

Please hurry.

Thank you, Praying for evolution any day now.

[journalist3072]

4. Not all Christians subscribe to the Left Behind Theory

I think people need to realize that not all Christians subscribe to the left behind theory.

I am a Christian, and I don't.

I do believe in the Rapture. The Rapture is scriptural. And no doubt, there will be non-Christians left here on Earth, when the Rapture occurs.

But here is my problem with the Left Behind theory. The Left Behind theory wants you to believe that the Rapture is some sort of secret event. It wants you to believe that one day, people will be on airplanes, or driving cars, when all of a sudden Christians just disappear into thin air, babies will be disappearing, and people left behind will be thinking "where did everyone go?"

The Rapture will not be some secret event. Everyone will know it happens. Christ is coming back in a very loud with, with trumpets and the voice of the Archangel.

[Finder]

7. "The Rapture is scriptural."?????

So are unicorns, talking serpents, flying dragons and demonic swine, but...



:evilgrin:

[journalist3072]

8. Yes it is scriptural:

1 Thessalonians 4: 16-17

16For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

17Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

[Finder]

13. Do you believe this literally? (nt)

[journalist3072]

18. Yes I do

I believe that in the blink of an eye, those of us who are in Christ will be transformed, and we will be lifted off of the earth.

This is our protection before the commencement of God's wrath.

There is a scripture in Revelation, that talks about how there will be angels at the four corners of the earth, and they are placed their to hurt the earth and the sea.

Another angel comes and tells them to hurt NOT the earth or the sea, until the rest of God's servants have been sealed. That is us.

"And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree. And I saw another angel ascending from the east, having the seal of the living God: and he cried with a loud voice to the four angels, to whom it was given to hurt the earth and the sea, Saying, Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of our God in their foreheads."

Revelation 7:1-4

[Warren DeMontague]

19. What, precisely, is "he" so mad about?

just curious as to what the specifics are, in your mind.

Anyway, that's cool if you believe it.



But it's nothing compared to the hijinks that'll ensue when OUR LADY returns with her giant golden apple.

[David Zephyr]

50. How will we be "lifted off of the earth?"

Will our bodies fly and where will our bodies fly to? If you think the Space Shuttle had problems with heat, what about our flesh?

Will a transplanted heart fly out of a heathen's body to meet up with the original host/body of the raptured in midspace or flight?

Where does your literal belief yield to metaphor...or does it?

[shadowknows69]

30. Query

Why does Jesus rely so much on faith (ie. no real evidence of his existence or divinity) to gain his believers but he's willing to come back in a prime time gala event to punish those that couldn't bring themselves to believe without evidence? Doesn't sound like a fair and balanced system to me. ;)

[Perky]

23. Ummm Unicorns???

Not that I am aware of.
Now about the pigs. That was one instance in the NT when Jesus cast demons who were in a man into pigs and the pigs ran into the lak eand drowned.


I will readidly admit the western mind does not have deep pockets for the issues of demons but if you ever find yourself in Africa and in any Christian Church service I assure you that your eyes will be opened to another reality.

[Warren DeMontague]

26. Ever see the Grateful Dead play a smokin' Scarlet--->Fire?

I assure you, if you had, your eyes would have quite likely been opened to another reality, too.

But whether or not that's some kind of ultimate reality that has an objective as opposed to subjective truth (much less one which should be preached door-to-door or imposed by legislative fiat) is a whole 'nother ball of wax, mac.

My point? Believe what you want, and I'll do the same- but we'd all get along much better if certain people could manage to leave stuff like that out of politics and public school science classes.

You know the Las Vegas ad tagline? How's this- "What happens in your head.. STAYS in your head."

[shadowknows69]

32. Why yes, yes I have

and I have to agree with you. A truly transcendant experience for the musically inclined. We need to do lunch impeachdubya. :hippie:

[Warren DeMontague]

40. Damn straight.

Maybe the next time I'm on your side of the country.

:hippie:

(Unfortunately the farthest East I ever saw the Dead was Buckeye Lake. Oh well.)

[Perky]

42. Yes I agree

Faith should not be taight in any science class. Largely because it reduses Faith to a formula.

I am happy to keep my faith in my heart and my mind, but people would also get get along better if they would stop lumping all Christians in the same boat as messrs. Fallwell and Robertson.

It is just a tad hypocritcal to slam Christians as intolerant boobs while being narrowminded, arrogant and uninformed as to matters of faith.

As long as their are people out there who are going to launch ad Hominen attacks on all people of faith. I intend to speak out.
I refuse to allow those who clain themselves to be open minded and tolerant to push me and my faith in Gp and His Son to the back of the Democratic bus.

[Warren DeMontague]

45. Nor should you be "pushed to the back of the bus"

As long as you don't consider an inability to have your personal religious beliefs promoted by the government "being pushed to the back of the bus", I'm certain you and I largely agree.

Although I have to say- I would hope you have other reasons for believing that faith shouldn't be taught in science class (public school, at least)... reasons like the Establishment clause of the Constitution.

Peace.

[Perky]

46. No there are certaily more reasons

The establishment clause being one of them.

But here is the thing (and I offer this only as explanation of the fhe fundie mindset while not particualrly being endorsing of the view)

Prayer in school was normatative in the first half of the last century. It was civil religion to be sure (along th lines of a Thankgiving feast prayer) but prayer it was. Fundies view the loss of that expression as the beginning of a loosening of moral consraints in the culture and they think if it is restored all things will suddenly right themselves.

There argument is faulty on many levels, but their yearning for yesteryear is based largely on the notion that they have had rights that have been taken away. Ultimately this is an argument about Hegemony vs multiculturalism.

What they fail to realize is that it was not a lack of prayer in schools it was the fact mostly that the CHurch was not ofering what baby boomers wanted in a religious experience.

It is their view that is was Christians who founded this country and therefore the cultural undergirfing of the nation ought to be Christian as well.

The argument that always get at them is that the legacy of Slavery and the many sins of Manifest Destiny is multi-culturalism and you can not put the genie back in the bottle. Or to use their language: The sins of the Father are visited upon the sons even to seven generations.

If you egange fundies at that level.....they tend to crumple up and slink away in despair. but they reckon their "plight" to cultural mistakes that they can not fix. FOr to do so is violate the will of God.

[Warren DeMontague]

49. I know. They're pissed off about a lot of things.

If they had their way, there wouldn't be a birth control pill (lookit all the trouble THAT caused), women wouldn't be in the workforce, minorities wouldn't be so "uppity", etc etc etc.

Back in the "Good old days", my mom's family -who are Jewish- couldn't stay at certain nice resorts during the month of August because that was where the Texas oilmen liked to frolic and they "didn't want Jews around". So you'll excuse me if I don't have buckets of sympathy tears for the folks who pine for the days of mandatory Christian Prayer in public school, and their complaints about the culture being "loosened". (...Which, I'm certain, in their mind pretty much boils down to other adults having consensual sex in combinations, or under circumstances, that they, personally, don't like. Tough.)

I 'understand' where they're coming from, like I 'understand' the motivations of the neighborhood stray cat that likes to beat up my cat and shit in my yard.. but that doesn't mean I need to empathize, or even waste my time on it.

If I felt like the "Christian Nation" crowd deserved any of my debating time, I would inform them pleasantly that Mr. Thomas Jefferson was a Deist, and then ask them to please find the word "God" in the U.S. Constitution. But I've put in my time trying to "reason" with the lot of them. If they want their kids to pray, there are plenty of churches and private schools for that. Anyone who wants to involve my kids can, frankly, fuck off- and as such I have very little interest at all in "engaging" them, on ANY level.

[shadowknows69]

31. You'll see.....

Green aligators and long necked geese

Some humpty backed camels, and some chimpanzees.

Some cats and rats and elephants but sure as you're born.

You'll never see no unicorns.



Sorry but any opportunity to quote the Irish Rovers just sets me off.

[LizMoonstar]

51. and Shel Silverstein! n/m

[Finder]

39. Unicorns are mentioned about 8 times.

At least in the KJV.

[Perky]

Chapter abd verse is you please

[Perky]

41. Chapter abd verse is you please

[Finder]

44. Have fun...

Numbers 23:22 God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of a unicorn.
(above verse repeated in Numbers 24:8)

Deuteronomy 33:17 His (Joseph's) glory is like the firstling of his bullock, and his horns are like the horns of unicorns:...

Isaiah 34:7 And the unicorns shall come down with them...

Job 39:9-12 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee? Wilt thou trust him, because his strength is great? or wilt thou leave thy labour to him? Wilt thou believe him, that he will bring home thy seed, and gather it into thy barn?


http://www.deism.org/deism%20vs%20the%20Bible%203.html#Unicorns

[Perky]

47. KJV is the only translation that references unicorns

every other translation renderer the aramaic as wild Ox. In fact, if you at how Bible translators do their work from an epistemological view, the research indicates that wild ox is the correct interpretation of the earliest manuscripts.

[triguy46]

53. Scriptural? Well, kinda, but it really is a new idea...

bible wise, this concept, also tied to an end times theology called "premillenial dispensationalism" is the construct a guy named Darby in ghe 1830s and was then picked up by others and is elucidated in the Scofield bible. It has now morphed into its current form, as espoused by Tim Lahaye and described in a book, The Late Great Planet Earth, written in the60s. But at best its a 'new' view and is no way descriptive across all protestant faiths. Pre 1830 you would never have heard this. Certainly, none of the Protestant reformers held this view.

What should be noted is that this is not a universally accepted interpretation of the Book of Revelation. Specifically, a huge name in Baptist theology is a guy from Dallas named Herschel Hobbes. He denies this interpretation and states he is an 'amillenealist'. The full description of this is mind boggling, but in short, the "end times" that is so talked about, in his view, (again he's a very, very prominent guy, well educated and Baptist through and through) refers to the fall of Jerusalem around 80 CE. This was pretty much the accepted view till first Darby, and now all kinds of crazy people ascribe to.

[pitohui]

5. is this a true story

i've become highly suspicious in recent yrs

[journalist3072]

6. Is what a true story?

Are you asking if the Left Behind theory is scriptured based or something?

[U4ikLefty]

9. Dude, I'm an ex-Rightie from the 80's & I've got all kinds of scary stuff

like the "Tribulation Map" that was handed out around the time when they were playing rock-record backwards to listen to "satanic" messages.

I was into that their back then, but decided to reject the "Christian"/Rethug connection and found my own way a LONG time ago...but that shit is real cool to look at for historical reference. I have gotta pull that out of my files soon & scan it for you folks show haven't read some of this shit. You wouldn't believe some of the shit I got ahold of...it's kinds sad that my fellow Christians have been soooo led astray. God help them all!!!

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

10. will you have a post Rapture mark-down? n/t

[DanCa]

11. Can there be a good christain billy jack character that takes out satan

I dont know maybe he could be like captain america and he thaws out from a block of ice and he smacks out the fake branch of christianity that the bushies worship.

[Splatter Phoenix]

12. Oho.

A book about current events. Me likey.

Is this before or after all the black people get themselves abortions?

[OrlandoGator]

14. When the Rapture occurs, the people who live like Christ will vanish.

The compassionate liberals.

[Warren DeMontague]

17. When the rapture occurs

it means it's time to stop eatin' them 'shrooms, mac.

[dogday]

48. Did anyone ever catch that movie about the Rapture?

Kirk Cameron was in it. One day people just turned up gone and missing and the rest of the people on earth try to figure out what happened....

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Naw, man, that sounds too much like my screenplay idea:

The far right Xtians get "raptured" ... Whee! In fact, maybe the fundamentalist nutters of all stripes go.

All the interesting, funny, creative, freethinking, sexy people are "left behind", and they quickly realize that the planet is a much more, um, relaxed place without all the uptight busybodies, puritans, control freaks and self-righteous windbags--- who find themselves in "Heaven", which is actually an Extra-dimensional real estate seminar, you know one of those things where they give you "free" dinner but the price is listening to some chucklehead in dockers try to sell you a timeshare.

[MojoXN]

16. Ummm....

OK, I guess. I have no fucking idea what you're going for, but best of luck!

MojoXN

[FM Arouet666]

20. Rapture = Passion = Orgasm?

I have never understood christian terminology, the "passion" of christ, the "rapture." The whole things sounds like a big orgy. Make your book clean for the fundies...





A nice link for background info on evil george....
http://www.bushisantichrist.com/

[Warren DeMontague]

22. Well, when you're talking about people who haven't had a satisfactory

sexual experience in decades, if ever...

it starts to make quite a bit of sense.

[LizMoonstar]

52. yeah, they try to cover up that part of it

don't remember the right name, but there was a saint who had a big following in the middle ages, and she believed in spiritual ecstasy being akin to a sexual experience with the divine. neat, i say.

[Castilleja]

21. Your cover pic definitely works!

Looks unsavory, and maybe dangerous, but a little slow.....

[Swamp Rat]

24. Don't forget this lizard:

[Warren DeMontague]

27. It's missing someone, SR

...Bill Bennett, VIRTUEMAN!

[Swamp Rat]

28. Here ya go:

[Brother Buzz]

25. I'm making book on the rapture

:evilgrin:

[shadowknows69]

29. at one time my church had me believing the anti christ was Jimmy Carter

But this was like 1979 I was 10 and going to a Baptist church so what do you expect ;)

Anyone else see those freaky "end times" movies from back then? "A Distant Thunder" was one of them I think. They were scarier than the left behind movies.

[kywildcat]

33. My favorite bumpersticker abou tthe rapture

"when the rapture comes....may I have your car?"

[shadowknows69]

34. I asked a local preacher that in an interview I did with him

as a video feature for my website. great comeback too. he said he'd give it to me even if the rapture didn't happen. owned an old suzuki trooper or something with 240,000 miles on it. best part of the interview.

[kywildcat]

35. What a stitch!

Well, the belief is that 144,000 jews converted to christianity are heading north, as are all those who have enbraced the teachings of Christ. No one in this administration as far as I can see. The lack of response to Katrina pretty well sealed that deal.
But truly, they are hastening the environmental destruction believing that this will make the rapture happen quicker. The rapturites have also had a hand in Isreali policy over the past 5 years believing major signs of the end come from that area of the earth.
Last I heard from one of my fervent friends, Oct 5 or 6 is the big day. WEE WHOOOOOOOO:headbang:

[shadowknows69]

36. cool at least we won't have to wait long.

[kywildcat]

37. They also believe that their clothes will

be left in heaps, all over the place. All I know is dear lord, take some chubby people, I could use a new wardrobe!

[Klapaucius]

38. car?

Funniest one I've ever seen was....

'When the rapture comes, can I have your wife?'

K.

[ladylibertee]

43. Yup.When the Rapture comes, FOX News will be the only ones reporting

the story,They'll be the only ones here with the Republicans.They can all try to explain it away then.