Laughed my rear end off!

[knitter4democracy]

This is really funny from Craig's List. I don't know if anyone has posted it, but it's worth reading again.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/9602400.html

[spuddonna]

1. ROTFLMAO!! That's hilarious!

"If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting."

:7 very funny stuff! thanks for the laugh!

[wildhorses]

2. funny stuff

hee hee

[sakabatou]

BWHAHA!

[Angry Girl]

3. LOL! Thanks!

[brainshrub]

4. I've seen it before, but it's still funny.

[tk2kewl]

5. very funny

:D

[Fleshdancer]

6. "If your building collapses....

...give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued."

:rofl:

[LaurenG]

7. The whole thing is very funny

I thought the "job" assignment while waiting to be rescued under a table was the best.

I wasn't expecting that.:rofl:

[SharonRB]

32. Hi, OhioBlues

:hi:

Haven't seen you around much. How are you and the Mr. doing?

WolverineDG posted this in the Countdown group -- I cracked up. You can't tell what half this stuff is really supposed to mean.

[LaurenG]

47. Well Hi Sharon

I haven't been around much. Too many things to do all the time. I am sure you know what I mean. We are doing well how about you? This stuff is really funny I love the explanations.

[DemBones DemBones]

8. Ow, ow, ow, my sides hurt

from laughing so hard! :rofl:


Those bizarre icon graphics have always bugged me, from the weird symbols on the dashboards of cars now (no words, just weird symbols) to the running green man symbol I first encountered in the Brussels airport. ( Jolly Green Giant this way?)

[Infomaniac]

9. These are hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. NFT

[patdem]

10. It has been posted before..but it is STILL hilarious! Thanks!

I am still chuckling..after reading each twice! That is the absolute FUNNIEST thing I have EVER seen in my life! :rofl:

[knitter4democracy]

12. I must have missed it.

A knitter posted it over at Knitty, and we're all laughing ourselves silly over there.

[Mutley]

11. LMAO! These are my favorites...

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.


If a door is closed, karate chop it open.


After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

[knitter4democracy]

13. Still funny!

I'm still giggling. I love the "stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor" line. That's just good. :D

[newswolf56]

14. Thank you! (I surely needed the laugh.)

[knitter4democracy]

15. How've ya been?

Are you feeling better? Are your fingers tired from all the typing? Are you taking care of yourself? Nosy minds want to know. ;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

16. OMFG

I was laughing so hard I was crying... "Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin area..."

LOL!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Thanks for the giggles!

:hug:

[Ioo]

17. I just had 3 co worker ask why I was cring...

It was that funny to me.

[petron]

18. That shite is hilarious!

kickin!

:spray:

[0007]

19. Don't forget the duct tape and plactic -

Recommended Supplies to Include in a Portable Kit:

* Water, amounts for portable kits will vary. Individuals should determine what amount they are able to both store comfortably outside the home and be able to transport to other locations
* Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food
* Battery-powered radio and extra batteries
* Flashlight and extra batteries
* First Aid kit
* Whistle to signal for help
* Dust mask or cotton t-shirt, to help filter the air
* Moist towelettes for sanitation
* Wrench or pliers to turn off utilities
* Can opener for food (if kit contains canned food)
* Plastic sheeting and duct tape to shelter-in-place
* Unique family needs, such as daily prescription medications, infant formula or diapers, and important family documents
* Garbage bags and plastic ties for personal sanitation

[LisaM]

20. I can't even read through them! They're so funny.

Great find.

[malachibk]

21. Really, really funny. n/t

[Blue in a Red State]

22. Hysterical!

Last one had a broken image link, though. Found it elsewhere:



Always remember to carry food with you during a terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy a nice coke and apple before you die.

[karlrschneider]

23. First time I have literally laughed out loud in a week!

:D

[tallahasseedem]

24. Good stuff...

recommended.

[BrklynLiberal]

25. Thank you so much for posting that. It made my day.

[donkeyotay]

26. Glad to see DHS doing something useful

That $487,999,576,872,000,000,245 trillion was money well spent!

[meganmonkey]

27. I can't take it

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :cry:


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.

[One_of_8]

53. That one's my favorite too

"No one wants to see that shit"

I am still giggling out loud over all of them, but for some reason, that one makes me laugh the loudest.

[Mr_Spock]

28. Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region

lmao!!



That one kills me!


If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.

[PatrioticLeftie]

29. My favorite is Karate Chop n/t

[wryter2000]

30. God, that's funny

Thanks.

My favorite was the one about not driving a station wagon with a utility pole sticking out of the hood.

[Seansky]

31. Incredibly funny. Couldn't help sharing it with my friends...Txs. for

posting it.

[Blue in a Red State]

33. Two alternates found elsewhere

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about a cool design for a new tattoo.



Hurricanes, animal corpses and your potential new tattoo have a lot in common. Think about it.

[Ishoutandscream2]

35. LOL. Very funny!!

[chalky]

34. High-larious!

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Extend a Hand]

36. thx!

:rofl:

[Peace Patriot]

37. Yup, that is a howl! n/t

[helderheid]

38. I've seen those - thanks for the link - I needed the laugh!

[malmapus]

39. LOL wiping the tears from my eyes

That was so funny omg

[BootinUp]

40. Laughing so hard I'm weezing

n/t

[CrackpotAmerica]

41. Oh yeah, baby!

What if i am on der crapper when it all goes down?

[knitter4democracy]

42. My first ever post on the Greatest page.

I'm *snif* so very touched. :D We all needed that laugh today!

[TBreeze]

43. very funny

:)

[CitySky]

44. I cannot recall the last time I laughed so hard I cried!!!

Oh my goodness. Karate chop it open. I am still wiping away the tears. Thanks!

[helderheid]

45. kick!

[kestrel91316]

46. Laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face!!!!!!

[knitter4democracy]

48. kick for the morning! nt

[Stockholm]

49. Some of these people are seriously strange, funny but strange

Ann Coulter goes skiing

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/69503141.html

[omshanti]

50. oh... my sides hurt. Kicked, recommended, sent to friends. n/t

:kick:
Still laughing.

[RedCloud]

51. I almost died laughing

Thanks!

[Shredr]

52. Thanks for that.

It was hilarious.

[Ignis]

54. Thanks!

I needed a laugh. Spamming it along to my friends as we speak.

[patdem]

55. Gotta do a kick cause more people need a laugh!

:kick: