DU Reminder: Satanic Revival on the 31st of this month. All are Welcome!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

(Bring your membership card and make sure you know the secret handshake)

We'll be having it in the cave beneath Howard Dean's house just like last year.

Highlights this year will include the unveiling of a 15 foot Italian Marble statue of Bill Clinton's penis sculpted by our own Swamp Rat with Help from Distressed American. We will also be conducting several seminars including "How to get Pregnant as often as possible for fun and abortions," "Kiddie Porn for Republicans and the Clergy," "Paving the Way for Saddam and Osama to Rule America" and a repeat of last year's favorite, "Turn Your Neighbors Gay via Barbara Steisand's Early Music and the Les Miserable Soundtrack."

Don't miss these other great activities:

Bobbing for Babies at 8:00

The Gay-Bi-Straight Orgy at 9:00

The Pissing on Holy Relics contest at 10:00
(and another congrats to The Magistrate with the unchallenged distance of 47.8 feet to hit the DVD of Jim and Tammy: The Early Years... Goes to show you you don't want to get in a pissing contest with TM! You'll lose).

Music to be provided by Barry Manilow.

Please use this thread to include activities you would like to see in this revival or revivals to come.



On edit: We couldn't get Charlie Manson out to MC this month so Will Pitt will be officiating.

[chalky]

1. Are we going to have the Evolution Haunted House this year?

That Darwin with a chainsaw was a scream last time.
Those ghost ape-men were pretty cool, too. But my dry cleaning bill from my spill in the primordial ooze pool was pretty high.

[blondeatlast]

16. Try baking soda--and the saliva of country club Ladies Auxiliary

chairladies works in a pinch.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

18. Ohhhhh.... Your EVIL!

and THAT'S good!
:evilgrin:

[Ron Green]

2. Jesus, that map! I'm always turning it upside-down when I'm driving.

:evilfrown:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

4. (sorry, changed the graphic)

:evilgrin:

[Richard Steele]

5. Change it back! Rons quip was frickin perfect!!!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

6. You're right... Got them both now!

[Richard Steele]

7. Thank You. nm

[Richard Steele]

3. Will we be plotting to destroy America, or is it strictly R&R this year?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

17. Hey, destroying America IS R&R for Evil Democrats...

Don't you listen to Sean and Rush?

[insane_cratic_gal]

8. Who is bringing the bush voodoo doll

I figure N.O residents might have ordered a bunch of them by now, but just in case!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

25. That's your job. Bring enough for everyone!

I'll bring the pins!

:evilgrin:

[LiberalEsto]

9. Don't forget the Fetus Fling

And the desecration of so-called Holy Books. Later we can have a jolly bonfire with them and toast marshmallows.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

51. Please rephrase "jolly."

That denotes wholesomeness.

EOM.

[LiberalEsto]

52. How about "depraved" bonfire?

or perhaps we should simply make a bonfire of burning brassieres.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

55. Burning Bushes seems to make more sense....

http://www.jcbsong.co.uk/jcbvideo.asp

Listen and support this music. It has the TYJ seal of approval.

[blondeatlast]

10. No Onanism Circle this year? Then I'm not coming!

Hmph!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

15. Silly you! It's going to be held in the Kennedy Room.

Sheesh. You guys are sooooo sensitive.

:toast:

[blondeatlast]

33. Good, then. I'll bring my... "friends."

[readmoreoften]

54. Of course they're sensitive! They're liberals!

And I'm going to provide the lattes for us all during this most unholy feast.

[brainshrub]

11. Should I create a page for it on my site like the DC events?

I'll be bringing extra American flags to burn!

Last years orgy was a blast!

:bounce:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

34. Heh. I think so... If you don't I will!

that could be fun!
:evilgrin:

[brainshrub]

41. I'll do it!

I'll work on it tomorrow!

I'll base it on the comments in this thread.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

45. Great! Thanks, give us a link whe it's up!

[LiberalEsto]

12. Let's all dress up like members of the Liberal Media

and go trick-or-treating in Rethug neighborhoods.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

62. I'll go in my Dan Rather Costume!!!!!

[McKenzie]

13. I'm not coming along this year...

that bloody goat bit me on the ass last time...and my watch was running slow...just made it back into my coffin before sunrise...boy that was scary...

[hogwyld]

14. What time

Is the sacrifice of the pugs?

[rurallib]

19. Loved the roastng Falwell on a spit.

Looked like it took a telephone pole to hold it.
Will Hugo, Fidel and Saddam make it this year or not? That Fidel is so funny with his exploding cigars and shout of capitalist pigs.

[chalky]

28. The Falwell roast was okay, but that Limbaugh roast? Bad idea.

It took us eight wheelbarrows of sand to douse the flames. Who knew that much fat could burn that long?

[titoresque]

30. Sorry, that was my call

I just figured with all those drug chemicals he'd burn
like crawford brush and we'd save on lighter fluid. :shrug:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

31. Mebbe, but the oxy rush from the smoke....

Sweet!

:evilgrin:

[Big Kahuna]

20. Nice flowchart

That redhead isn't bad either :)

Satanic factoid: Did you know that Lucifer was a perfectly nice Roman god of the Morning Star (the planet Venus). A lovely and welcome sight to early-risers since the dawn of time. The absolute epitome of evil obviously. :evilgrin:

[Debi]

21. Okay, I'll go

but I'm leaving my dog at home this time! I don't care if it's white/hyper/well groomed and plump...my dog is not a symbol of the American republican to be sacrificed at the alter of Democratic Deviants! :grr:

[DRoseDARs]

22. Anyone bringing the fetus fajitas?

Mmmm... the flesh of the unborn with guacamole and cheese. :thumbsup:

[Road Scholar]

23. The really funny thing about this is that some freepers are just

that fucking stupid to take it for real.Their stupidity is the reason we're in such a mess.Jerk their chains every time you get a chance. They deserve it. :toast:

[titoresque]

26. Oh, yeah you're right

they might think this is real...and of course it IS NOT!
No more real than "professional protesting" ;-)

BTW...who's got my stink'n check from the 24th?! Fess up!

[Pharlo]

24. Can we hang the Pope, Graham, Roberts, Falwell and Jesus

in effigy this year?

Oh, and I really enjoyed the Holy Cross pinata last year.

And this year, we need to sacrifice the Vermont Republican Chairperson as well as the five young children.

And will you please inform whoever is on the decorations committee this year that the PENTAGON is NOT interchangeable with the STAR OF DAVID! (That was PATHETIC! I damn near left the festivities last year when I saw that. - There we were, only five kids for sacrifices and six points. Would have been a disaster if we hadn't used the head of the decorating committee for that extra sacrifice. By the way, whose in charge of the decorating committee this year?)

[mcctatas]

27. OK, but can we please not conjure the Dark Lord Cheney this year?

His evil surpasses our meager maleficence by far, and besides that, I doubt we could ever come up with enough virgins around here for the blood bath to keep his skin supple!:scared:
:rofl:

[bee]

29. how about... giant marble clinton VOLCANO penis...

erupting at the revivals climax, of course.

[Batgirl]

32. are the rumors true, about the VIP special guest of honor?

I heard Osama will be guest of honor at Sam & Janeane's "Giving Aid and Comfort to the Enemy" workshop. I don't know what I look forward to more, that or the corn maze.

[Bjornsdotter]

35. Anyone wanna carpool?

I'll be coming from Illinois/Wisconsin border....anyone interested?

[titoresque]

37. Sure if you don't mind the smell of burning flesh

I just can't seem to get rid of the odor....We can crack a window?

[smirkymonkey]

36. I can't make it - I'm having an abortion that day.

So are all my friends.

[Skink]

38. OK I'll sneak in from Canada for this one.

Just this once.

[chalky]

39. Late term, I hope? Otherwise, why bother?

n/t

[smirkymonkey]

47. Actually, he's 8 years old.

But I've got a fresh fetus in the oven and I'm waiting until late third trimester for that one.

[jmowreader]

40. But you guys are guys!

Come ON, man, just because liberals love to get abortions doesn't mean YOU have to do it! If all your friends decided to jump off a bridge, would you?

Forget the abortion, man. Just go get a pentagram tattooed on your chest. That's fun too.

[smirkymonkey]

48. Ok, maybe I'll just turn gay or something then.

[blondeatlast]

42. Dear, oh dear. Is it 'Tini and D&C day AGAIN already?

Now I have to choose!

I'm ENTITLED to throw a hissy now. Why didn't you e-mail me?

[jmowreader]

43. You want me to bring blood punch and fetus pie again this year, right?

I'm using an all-NEW recipe this year, thank ya very fucking much. You fuckers all bitched about the fact that there were no onions in last year's fetus pie, so fuck y'all, this year I'm putting in lots of onions and leaving the fucking fetuses out. I got to, man, the fundies bought out the abortion clinic I was gettin' 'em at and turned it into a Crisis Pregnancy Center.

I figure if the Repukes can put Bush in the White House and claim we've got a president, I can make a fetus pie with no fetuses in it and call it a fetus pie anyway. Claiming false advertising is dead, man!

[xchrom]

44. i just got the red hooded robe from the cleaners.

but i have a friend wants to wear a pink one -- i said that's not kosher?

can i get a ruling from the from the rules committee on this?

[brainshrub]

46. We mods have decided.

The pink robe is permitted, but it must have the Tinky-Winky Teletubby ironed on the chest.

[blondeatlast]

50. Marginalizing the Dipsy sect, are you?

You'll pay; you'll pay.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

53. Tinky RuLz!!!!!

And those bastards nearly figured it out!

[liberalgenes]

49. Are lurkers invited too?

Sounds like fun! I haven't been to a Satanic revival since my Sweet Sixteen party. I can bring brownies and maybe a 3-bean salad or something....

[readmoreoften]

56. BROWNIES??? BROWNIES??? IMPOSTER!

Brownies and 3-bean salad, indeed! Why, you are a usurper! A poser! An interloper!

(Wait, what kind of brownies???)

[chalky]

64. C'mon, we had roasted Brownie last week...and it was MMM MMM GOOD.

n/t

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

57. We LOVE lurkers....

with a nice chianti...


Listen and buy///

http://www.jcbsong.co.uk/jcbvideo.asp

[AnnieBW]

58. I'll Be Sacrificing A Cat That Night

Sorry, but us Witches will be busy sacrificing black cats and fornicating with Satan on the 31st. Here, kitty, kitty.... Dr. Frist has a little surprise for you!

Maybe you can invite some displaces Voodoo Queens to make and sell little * dolls with pins in them?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

59. Looking forward

to the roasted fetus pies.... mmm, are those tasty!

;)

[Walt Starr]

60. Don't forget your goat leggings!

:evilgrin:

[AnnieBW]

61. Baby Back Ribs

Don't forget the baby back ribs - made from real babies! Who's got the BBQ sauce?

[Missy Vixen]

63. I'll bring the pork rinds and the Jello salad

Remember, animal blood is hell to get out of Congoleum, so we'll be holding the ritual sacrifices outdoors this year.

Who's bringing the Ozzy Osbourne and AC/DC CD's?

Julie

[entanglement]

65. HA ha you're the best!

:yourock: :yourock:

[Just Me]

66. Tom, I know I was supposed to deliver my dogs' severed paws,....

,...but, my parents stole them from me. x(

Can I substitute with something else? :shrug:

[YouthInAsia]

67. Do you still need me to bring that basket of teeny tiny kittens???

[jim3775]

68. I know a guy that can get us some good goat's blood.

His name is Petey Wheatstraw- The devel's son-in-law (cue funk music).

[kestrel91316]

69. I can't wait to try the Roast Baby - yummmmmm

[johnaries]

70. Bad news about the Midnight Sacrifice, I can't find a virgin.

Trust me, I'm looking!

[markus]

72. If guys are Ok, you might try checking on Free Republic

[johnaries]

73. OK, but How do I lure them out of their mom's basement?

:evilgrin:

[jazzjunkysue]

71. I'm gonna need more help abducting the nuns, this year. I don't want any

getting away, this time. Think we'll need all 6? How about 4, and a virgin? They're easier to find.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

74. Okay, one gin too many... 2 more recs and we can get this crap up there!!

Peace and love!!!!

[Shine]

75. I'll be flying in on my broom.... thanks for the heads up!

:hi:

Shine