How do you deal with the door to door Latter Day Saints?

[ohio_liberal]

Again today they came a-visiting. I'm telling you, these people (always a different set of two young ladies) come knocking on the door once every two weeks. I've had enough of it. I don't want to be rude but I don't want to get into religious discussions with them and I don't want to join their church. I've got a "no soliciting" sign next to my mailbox but they say they aren't soliciting. So how do you deal with them?

edit: typo

[sakabatou]

1. I point to the sign which says "Shalom" and they leave

[Radio_Lady]

64. There's a good idea. I'll show them the "mezuzah" on the door frame.

That should work... thanks!

*Definition of "mezuzah" -- small box that Jews place on their door frames that contain the Ten Commandments.

[Sgent]

153. Correction

Mostly right, but it actually contains the Sh'ma.

The Sh'ma is the central tenant of Judaism -- not the decalouge. The first paragraph of the Sh'ma (Deut. 6:4-9) follows.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God; the Lord is one.
And you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your means. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be upon your heart. And you shall teach them to your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk on the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up. And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be for ornaments between your eyes. And you shall inscribe them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates.

[Radio_Lady]

158. Oops! I'd better atone for that critical error on Yom Kippur.

Such a bad Jewess...I'll be atoning on the island of Oahu... in the surf, and not in "shul"...

"Do unto others as they would do unto themselves."
Worth all the strapped-up "tefillin" in the world, in my opinion!

[Sgent]

166. hehe

I'm actually reform and believe very strongly in social justice, and very weakly in the importance of many of the more obscure mitzvoh.

My gosh, the jacket I wore to sevices today (Rosh Hashana), I think it had a flaxen collar on a wool jacket...

[LoKnLoD]

2. Ask them about

their "Magic Underwear" :evilgrin:

I live in Utah, not a momo though.

[ohio_liberal]

55. Heh

I saw the underwear on sale on eBay once.

[Radio_Lady]

61. I tell them I've read up on LDS and my son is a Mormon, too.

But as for me, I find the whole idea of Joseph Smith and his "lost" Golden Tablets from New York State -- a little hard to swallow.

I feel that way about Moses and HIS tablets too.

I live by the religion I once read about, stated this way:

"Do unto others as they would do unto themselves."

Works for pretty much everyone except masochists. :laugh:

[helderheid]

68. hi fellow Utahn (also not LDS)

:hi:

[LoKnLoD]

184. Howdy!!!

I'm in Ogden, how about you? :hi:

[boise1]

107. I've lived smack in the middle of Momoland for 35 years

and have never had a single visit, although I have seen them annoying the neighbors repeatedly. I must have a bold purple "X" next to my name on their spreadsheet...:evilgrin:

[POAS]

146. better yet ask to see their magic underwear

[Radio_Lady]

159. I've washed that "magic" underwear. If it were really magic, it would

clean itself, right?

[CBGLuthier]

3. answer the door naked

I did and they never came back.

Now, the key is to open the door just a bit and to not expose yourself but to be obvious that you are not clothed.

Of course, if you are not a man, this may not work very well. :-)

[ohio_liberal]

60. Oh man, I could scar them for life

Stretch marks and marshmallow mama-belly are not pretty. :(

[newspeak]

142. that's funny

when my daughter was a child, someone, knocked at the door while I was in the bathtub. I yelled "don't open the door", of course, she did. It was a male Jehovah Witness. I hurriedly wrapped myself in a towel, cracked the door so my head was only showing, and said "I'm not interested". He kept talking and talking, like I hadn't said a word, so I slammed the door on him. Didn't make any difference to him if I was naked!

[MuseRider]

4. Tell them

no thank you, please do not come again and then you close the door.

[ohio_liberal]

19. I did that!

I stopped short of slamming the door in their faces. lol I cut one of them off in mid-sentence, told them I wasn't interested, no thank you, and they wouldn't stop with the "don't you have any faith in God" stuff.

[MuseRider]

37. You could make a sign

and put it on your door that says I am not interested in being converted or listening to your vision of God. No Mormons.

Sometimes you have to be tough with them. As a former Mormon I know, it took years to get them to quit calling, showing up at my door. I still get mail but that is all.

[Kazak]

152. I have a t-shirt with the Periodic Table of the Elements on it...

I'd show it to them and tell them that is my religion.

[Dora]

5. "No, thank you. Good bye." (close door) n/t

[Bombero1956]

6. when you open the door

hand them a copy of Awake or Watch Tower.

[cdsilv]

17. ... what my dad used to do in the 60's and 70's...

...was offer them a beer and a smoke, and when they refused get uppity about them refusing his 'hospitality', and then tell them to leave.

Would keep them away for a few years (this works with any door to door missionaries...)

[txaslftist]

47. Actually I've done door to door missions work...

... when I was a bit younger, and I would've accepted your hospitality gladly.

[Radio_Lady]

76. When we were in Egypt in the 80s, a merchant invited us in for tea --

and insisted that I smoke a cigarette. I did, choking on the smoke, but didn't want to insult him!

He was a "Coptic Christian" and kept insisting that we all had the same religion.

We're Jews by birth -- but I didn't have the heart to tell him that!

[Yupster]

156. I've been visited twice

Offered the young men a drink of water and use of the bathroom.

Told them I was just being polite, and was not interested in talking religion.

They were very nice, all accepted the water, gave me a Book of Mormon and left.

No hard feelings. It didn't take three minutes.

[Blue_In_AK]

7. The way I usually deal with these folks

is to tell them that I appreciate what they're doing, but that I have my own faith with which I'm quite happy and that it would be a waste of their time to try to proselytize me.

[mattclearing]

12. Every two weeks?

Don't you think that would get old?

[Blue_In_AK]

22. I guess I've had better luck than you...

...because when I've used it, they've stayed away for at least six months. Is it the same people hitting you up every two weeks? If that's the case, maybe you need to get a little more emphatic about it.

[mattclearing]

23. Not I...the OP I think is OhioLiberal. n/t

[Blue_In_AK]

48. I'm sorry, my mistake. n/t

[mattclearing]

8. Tell them you're calling the police to have them arrested for harassment.

You can also tell them to fuck off and never come back.

Being nice to people who prey on your sensibilities and common courtesy is overrated.

[Hobarticus]

9. True story:

I was at a new girlfriend's house, watching TV while she took a shower. Some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door, and I tried to put them off, when out of the blue my girlfriend came running into the livivng room, dripping wet and buck nekked. She'd heard the TV and thought I had called her. Needless to say, the JWs left quickly. Pretty damn funny.

Moral of the story: answer the door dripping wet and buck nekked.

[Walt Starr]

10. I tell them I've read the Book of Mormon, but they always ask what I think

about it.

My answer is always quick, deliberate, and honest:

"It reads like a third grader wrote it."

[elehhhhna]

140. Tell them you LOVED "Under the Banner of Heaven".

They'll run away. Far.

[Radio_Lady]

161. Um-m-m... riiiight.... That's the best answer I've ever heard!

[Walt Starr]

175. It really miffs them off

because the argument they produce to say that Joseph Smith could not have written the BOM is he only had a third grade education.

:evilgrin:

[bryant69]

11. THey are coming every two weeks?

Do you live in Utah? No, I"m guessing you live in Ohio Curious - because they only change areas once a month, and usually stay in an area for a couple of months.

Personally I would just say I'm not interested; in most cases that should be enough. I always respected the No Soliciting sticker myself, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[ohio_liberal]

57. Oh, it might be every three weeks once in a while

But they come regularly. I don't ever remember seeing the same females twice, but I could be wrong.

[bryant69]

69. Maybe you live near a mission home

(the center for missionary activity in a region) and they are sending out new elders and sisters in the area? Just to give them the taste of doing door to door before they do it for real.

Bryant

[Momgonepostal]

189. The every 2 weeks suprises me, too

It is possible you have more than one group of people stopping by? Maybe some Mormons, some JW's and something else, too?

The only reason I can think of for them to come back that often is if someone at the house has led them to believe the discussion with them is ongoing...that they have an invitation to come back.

[pauldp]

13. Tell them "Satan Lives". n/t

[LeftyMom]

14. I'd get one of these

http://www.rof.com/Plaque_NoPreach.htm

LeftyDad just tells them he's wiccan, they cut the conversation really short after that.

[ohio_liberal]

29. Well that might be a good thing to get

I'm going to order one. :)

[AllyCat]

40. That's what I have!

Gave it to some friends who live in the country and are hit up with amazing frequency. The one I have has biblical quotes such as "do not go door to door" (forget scriptural source)"Go and sin no more".

[politicat]

91. Matthew 6:5-6

I use it all the time on anti-abortion people who insist on standing on the street and making a spectacle of themselves. I sometimes get some argument because Paul said that one should pray loudly and in public, but the simplest answer is that Paul never met Jesus, and Matthew (according to the book) did. So Matthew probably knew what Jesus thought on the matter, and Paul probably let himself be deluded into thinking Jesus would agree with him.

Also useful are the preceding verses that state that proclaiming you gave alms is as bad as not doing so at all; the only money one should donate, it seems to say is that which can be donated anonymously.

The verses are:

6:2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6:3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
6:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. (6:5-6)
"Enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray."
6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

(Amazing how well an atheist-agnostic knows this stuff.... Self-defense.)

[AllyCat]

144. Love it...and I'm NOT an atheist.

I get tired of these people that wear their religion on their sleeves. There is something disingenuous about it and these verses from the actual GOSPEL in the actual NEW TESTAMENT (which the Fundies seem to have forgotten of late) are fabulous.

Thanks!

[Dr.Phool]

87. I put that on my door

But my wife has no sense of humor, and took it off.

Next I made a sign that said "Religious Proselytizers will be eaten by large dogs". She took that down too, but they haven't been back.

[Mutley]

15. I look through my peep hole

and when I see it's them I don't answer the door. They evetually go away, especially when they hear my dogs barking at them.

[napi21]

16. I just say: "Thank you for stopping by, but I'm a Catholic and do not

wish to change." Then, I step back from the door, and close it, smiling all the time of course.

It works with all of them! I don't get many LDS solicitors here, but I sure get my shar of Baptists! They just smile and go away.

[trixie]

34. Tell them that they are going to hell

for having more than 1 God, for having satanic symbols on all of their temples, for not believing in the "true" Jesus. They believe Jesus came before that crook Smith (?) and have a completely different life story of Jesus. Bring out the bible (they are not allowed to read the bible) and point stuff out. Freaks them out every time.

[ErisFiveFingers]

129. Uhm.... what a way to start posting (sigh)

I was raised LDS. I'm sure with this confrontational approach they'd be more than happy to engage you in discussion about their beliefs. :) To wit (from my memory):

- They have only one god that they worship. They do not worship Jesus as being that god (they have a slightly different approach to the concept of the trinity), Jesus is separate from the Father, as is the Holy Spirit. They also believe that there can be other gods, but only one god (Heavenly Father), and one Godhead (The father, son, and holy spirit) should be worshipped by mankind of this planet.

- I'm not sure what symbols on their temples you would call satanic, but I'm sure they'd be willing to discuss them. :)

- Their additional beliefs about Jesus involve Jesus coming to the Americas to preach.

- Yes, they believe that Smith saw the father, and the son.

- They most certainly *do* read the bible. The bible is part of the quad (the four books) that LDS uses. I went to LDS seminary in high-school where bible study was daily practice. The books are:
1. Book of Mormon (similar to the bible, a long term historical account of a people)
2. Bible (King James version, usually)
3. Doctrine and Covenants (a collection of modern rules and guidlines)
4. Pearl of Great Price (Books of Moses, Abraham, Matthew 24, church history)

My little brother spent his mission years in Italy, and he loved being confronted, because it gave him an opening for discussion.

(Please be nice, I'm new here...)

[11 Bravo]

136. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[Momgonepostal]

191. Welcome, Eris!

I also served a mission in Italy, in the Rome mission. Where did your brother serve?

Are you still active?

DU and the rest of American can use all the LDS democrats we can get!

[babsbunny]

18. We get Jehovah Witnesses

We don't answer the door!

[jackster]

20. if there are different ones coming then telling them no probably

won't help.

Post a sign something to the effect....

RELIGIOUS TYPES GO AWAY

Today at lunch a friend told how her sister handles xtians who are trying to convert her....

She tells them she's a satan worshipper!

[calico1]

21. Put some Wiccan symbols

on your front door. Seriously though, just say firmly you are of another religion (or agnostic or whatever) and tell them no matter who they send the answer is still "not interested."

[Democrats_win]

24. Ask: What happened at the Mountain Meadows Massacre?

http://www.answers.com/topic/mountain-meadows-massacre

The Mountain Meadows Massacre occurred on Friday, September 11, 1857 in Mountain Meadows, Utah, several miles south of Enterprise in Washington County along the Spanish Trail to Santa Fe. Mormon militia and Paiutes killed an entire wagon train of Arkansas farming families known as the Fancher party, traveling from Arkansas to California together with a group from Missouri that called themselves the "Missouri Wildcats". Around 120 unarmed men, women and older children were killed; 17 of the younger children were spared and all but one (who was raised in a Mormon family) were returned to relatives in Arkansas.

[murray hill farm]

25. politely tell them...

that u respect them for their work to convert and save all of world..as required by their church and their belief..and you do appreciate their effort..and maybe even thank them for caring...but then just tell them that u have your own set of beliefs..and that u believe in your own beliefs..every bit as much as they believe in theirs..and that u would never convert as it would be a selling out of your own beliefs..so, that what might be best is that if they directed their efforts and work to others...who might be more willing to change personal beliefs if they made contact with them. this always works for me...these are people who are acting on deep belief and commitment..as required by their belief system...this approach gives them a way to stop contacting you..and to do so in good conscience.

[ET Awful]

26. The pentacle on the welcome mat usually keeps them at bay

:evilgrin:

[sakabatou]

49. Or any of these symbols

http://www.fullmetalalchemist.info/alchemy.html

[Radio_Lady]

116. Nothing like gray and black with white typeface. What a boring site --

I just mean visually boring.

[sakabatou]

150. Though the diagrams are very nicely done.

[Freddie Stubbs]

27. Have you ever answered the door?

Answering the door and politely telling then that you are not interested is usually enough.

[ret5hd]

30. yeah, but not very fun.

[ret5hd]

28. answer the door in your leather bondage outfit...

the one with the exposed genitalia, black leather mask, spiked collar, etc.
no, not the midnight blue one, the black one.
yeah, that one!

[FyurFly]

85. With ball gag n/t

[ret5hd]

106. no, because then you can't invite them in.

[nini]

31. I didn't realize females went on 'missions' too

I thought it was just the males that were allowed to do that.


But to answer your question, just say 'I'm not interested and please don't bother to come back' and shut the door.

Personally, I just wont' answer the door.

[ohio_liberal]

41. It's always girls here, in pairs

College age, I'd guess.

I don't have a peephole so I can't peek out to see who's there. Maybe it's time to invest in one.

[politicat]

95. Not as many, but they do.

Boys go at 19, girls at 21. In Utah and N. Az, there aren't that many girls who, at 21 are either unmarried and without children or who are willing to leave their boyfriends/studies/careers for 2 years. Boys at 19 don't really have the heavy ties that a woman at 21 has.

[Az]

32. I invite them in

15 years of debating religion has given me a certain amount of ... ammo for such discussions. I do not normally engage in debate with a person about their religion unless I am invited or attacked. And I consider knocking on my door and trying to save me an invitation to the dance.

It typically follows the same path each time. They travel in pairs. One is usually relatively new and one has experience. As soon as the newer one starts showing signs of being out of their depth the experienced one steps in and tries to control the situation. Thats when the deep stuff comes out.

I don't get many return visits.

[Cats Against Frist]

74. By the time I get to Derrida, they've fled.

I've also told them that I'm a Raelian. I too, consider it an invitation, and, without much else to do, it's usually entertaining.

[ohio_liberal]

75. You're good

Me, I'm not religious in any sense of the word, never studied religion, so I'm completely unarmed in debates. They just run right over me.

[LizMoonstar]

104. this sounds like what one of my old professors would do with door-to-doors

he's ordained, Lutheran I think, but never served. they'd want to talk to him about the Bible, and he'd keep his Hebrew and Greek copy (that he can read and uses for classes) near the door, invite them in, pull it out, and say, all right guys, let's go! and they'd run away.

but then again this is the guy that claims to be a Christian polytheist, because of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

[Geoff R. Casavant]

33. So many ways to be cruel

Invite them in, then:

Insist that they speak to you only through your hand-puppet Socky.

Pretend to be hard of hearing so they must shout.

Keep asking them who farted.

Fart. A lot. Big greasy ones if you can manage.

Begin removing your clothing.

Turn on the TV, then just keep nodding and saying, "uh-huh, uh-huh."

Start cleaning your gun.

Use your imagination -- it's a world of wonder!

[MsTryska]

89. you could also tell them to hang on a sec....

you'll be right with them as soon as you finish up practicing how to abort fetuses.

[SeattleGirl]

35. My next-door neighbors of 12 years are LDS

The woman and I have gotten into many conversations with a religion/faith bent, and she talks about her LDS beliefs, but neither my husband or I have ever been pressured or anything by this woman or her husband. We really like them, in fact.

Because of where we live, on a half-block long dead end street off a two-block long street, we don't get a lot of door-ringing traffic of any type here. Several months ago, two LDS folks came to my door. I told them I was Catholic (I am), and we ended up talking about what great people my neighbors are, as they knew the couple.

[theboss]

36. I've never been bothered that often by them

That's unusual.

Usually if you just politely tell them that you are not interested, they go away. LDS missionaries are the nicest people in the world, if a little "too" nice.

[FyurFly]

90. I agree..

Most LDSs have this smile that is like above and beyond the typical model/miss America smile,jsut freakish.

[DURHAM D]

38. I always open the door and tell them I am a Charismatic Druid.

Then I look directly at them, smile and gently close the door.

Then I watch them walk to the bottom of my driveway and have a discussion about what that means.

[Scout]

39. Do you have a dog?

put your dog on a chain that, while keeping him on your property, allows him to be between the public sidewalk/roadway and your door.

If they want to get to your door, they have to trespass on your property past the dog.

If you don't have a dog, can you borrow one?

You could try painting a pentagram on your front door...

[ohio_liberal]

51. I have a German Shepherd

She always comes to the door with me but she's a big baby, not threatening at all. The one girl did seem a bit freaked out by my black cat who was peeking out from behind my legs. Not sure what that was about.

[rox63]

42. Tell them

They can only come in if they agree to participate in the Wiccan ritual you are about to perform, and that all participants must be naked. :evilgrin:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

43. "I'm not going to change beliefs. Please leave." *SLAM*

[derby378]

44. Well, if they're members of DU...

...you hand them some of the latest printouts to use as reading material during their next break and send them on their way.

And yes, there are some Latter-Day Saints on DU. I'm not one myself, but I've seen 'em.

[CountAllVotes]

45. I tell them to GO AWAY and ...

and that I have my own "religion" and that I am a Catholic (B.S.). I keep a stock pile of Catholic literature from the local church and shove some of it in their faces.

I also have a red NO SOLICITING sign on my door (doesn't keep them away though damnit!). They are trying to solicit something alright - something called their religion! I've threatened to call the cops on them for disturbing the peace. :D

The people across the street that just moved in have a sign on their door that say, No Soliciting and below that in much larger print in all caps are the words NO RELIGION!!!

Needless to say, these people that go door to door make me sick. :puke: I really wish they'd all just crawl back into the holes they came out of.

:kick:

[dback]

46. Ask them if they've seen the movie "Latter Days"

They will probably say "No." Say, "Oh, it's this REALLY HOT gay Mormon movie about an L.A. guy and this Mormon guy who falls in love with him. The sex scenes are great! Do you have any hot guys like that in your church, especially gay ones?"

You might have to yell this question from your porch, as they'll probably be running by this point.

[porphyrian]

50. Ignore them until they go away.

You don't HAVE to answer the door, the phone, or chain letters. The more you answer them politely, the more they'll keep bothering you. So, your options are to be rude, or to ignore them. It sounds like the latter choice is for you.

[lumpy]

52. Ask them how much they'll

pay you to testify.

[Ezlivin]

53. Mossberg 500 12 Gauge Pump Shotgun, sawed off w/pistol grip

Made you look! :)

Oh, I've thought along those lines, but I'm way too peaceable to do that. Besides, a couple of decades ago I had swallowed the Koolaid and was going door-to-door as a devoted demented Southern Baptist Fundamentalist.

I just don't bother answering the door.

When one unmovable object meets another....

[FyurFly]

100. I have that shotgun

Except mine isn't sawed off. I have an old friend who would "speak in satanic tongues" when the Jehovas would stop by, funny funny shit.

[Ezlivin]

103. That's good stuff! I love the speaking in tongues bit. (n/t)

[timber84]

54. Too bad you don't live in FLa

Under Jeb's new gun law you could shoot them for being a threat to you.

[proud patriot]

56. When I first moved here two came to our door . AC DC was playing

on our stereo . They criticized our music .
We said goodbye .

They haven't been back :shrug:

[Kaylee]

58. Hide.

[LeftyMom]

59. Ask them to defend thier church's treatement of black people

You'll never hear from them again once they hem and haw and make thier way to the door.

[ohio_liberal]

84. This I know nothing about....

What has that church done to black people?

[Kali]

101. Only recently granted them status as human beings.

[ohio_liberal]

130. Oh My

:(

[LeftyMom]

126. Here's the basics for you

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blacks_and_Mormonism

as far as I know since it's only 4 paragraphs I can snip the whole thing.

"Blacks and Mormonism
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In general, the relationship of the Latter Day Saint movement (Mormonism) with black people has more or less mirrored the sentiments of many other White Protestant denominations in the United States. Initially incorporating the generally anti-slavery views of the Northern communities in which the movement was founded, the leadership and ranking members moderated their positions as early as 1833 in response to pro-slavery sentiments in Missouri, where slavery was the hot-button issue of the day.

Mormonism arose during a time when nearly all Christian slaveholders, as well as many abolitionists and slaves, assumed the doctrine, now generally considered offensive and racist, that black people inherited the curse of Ham or the curse and mark of Cain. Without much critical examination, early Mormons, including the movement's founder Joseph Smith, Jr., incorporated one or both of these doctrines into their belief system, and interpreted the Bible and Mormon scripture as supporting them. However, Smith encouraged the conversion of black people into the faith, and supported the ordination of black members to the Mormon priesthood.

For some Latter Day Saint denominations, such as the Community of Christ, such doctrines have long been rejected, and there is relatively little controversy over their treatment of blacks. Within other denominations of the movement, however, such as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) and its offshoots, these doctrines lingered much longer, and were taught openly well into the 20th century. In addition, this denomination instituted an officially-sanctioned ban on blacks holding the Priesthood. Since 1978, the LDS Church has ended this inequality, and quietly renounces its earlier controversial doctrines. Today, the only Latter Day Saint denominations that officially teach these doctrines, or who maintain a ban on blacks in the priesthood, are within the various small sects of Mormon fundamentalism, which disagrees with the LDS Church's 1978 reversal.

Apart from each denomination's current official position on blacks, each denomination continues to have its own challenges rooting out racism and insensitivity, and improving relationships between black and white members. Some call upon The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to offer an apology, or at least to announce officially that the curse of Ham and curse of Cain doctrines are incorrect."

[ohio_liberal]

131. Wow, 1978!

I had no idea.

[kestrel91316]

157. And around 1970 the LDS in the UT legislature actually PASSED A LAW

that required all businesses (except maybe hospitals and gas stations) to close on Sunday. It didn't last long. Somebody sicced the Constitution on them.

[hobbit709]

62. I have a sign on my door

If you'e here to preach or pray
Then just go away"
It's printed in bold 144 point Headhunter font-all the letters are composed of bones.
I don't get bothered too much.

[Ioo]

63. I had sex with one, while the other watched...

I am not kidding...

I was mormon, so... it's okay

[ohio_liberal]

67. They were going door to door?

Come on, I want details :D

[Ioo]

94. Here is what happen..

Frist of all, let me tell you. I was raised Mormon.

I also went on a mission (Half of one) and I had no issue getting some.

So anyway, some came by, and one was real cute. I invited him and his friend in. They asked if I had heard the world. I explained that I had left the church because we did not see eye to eye on many issues.

They asked what was the issue, I said I was gay and so on....

Anyway, they left and I thought that was that. That evening, they they came back, they wanted to talk to me about this issue further...

one thing lead to another and I had the cute one bent over, his friend was watching and handling himself...


This is not that uncommon in the church, When I was a member It was kinda of unspoken, if you are married and have kids, you are good, sex with a man is not cheating really, because you still love your wife and kids.

I had many mormon outings turn into a "Show me yours, I will show you mine"

TRuth!

[ohio_liberal]

128. Now that is a story....

I am enlightened. :hi:

[phylny]

174. Ah, Mormons on the DL also! ;) n/t

[ozarkvet]

86. Yes, but did you smoke a cig afterward? n/m

[Ioo]

98. No, Mormons don't smoke, or drink coke.

[ozarkvet]

112. The temperance was the basis of my joke.

It's a play off the old joke.

Q: "Why don't Baptists have premarital sex?"

A: "It might lead to dancing."

[Ioo]

125. Mine was a joke as well...

I had just has sex with one of thier missionaries, and I say I don't smoke because Mormons don't like that...

:)

[Spazito]

65. I simply tell them that if I wanted to participate in a religion I would

go in search of one and I don't appreciate religious door-to-door sales persons.

[helderheid]

66. I tell them I'm a Buddhist. They normally don't know what to say and off

they go

[ohio_liberal]

73. I tried "I'm Jewish", "I'm an atheist" and "I'm a follower of Islam"

None of them have worked so far. :(

[Rowdyboy]

70. If they were nice looking young men, I'd invite them in, offer a drink and

pop a gay porno in the vcr. See just how long it takes them to leave (if, indeed, they want to leave!)

[VWolf]

71. Here's what I do

Look 'em right in the eye, with the craziest expression you can muster, and just say .... "SATAN"

Then shut the door.

[The Animator]

72. My cousin has a pretty effective way of dealing with church solicitors.

Especially the kind when it's a different two every week. He would politely ask there names, and write them down, then he would ask them the name and location of there church, and write it down. Then he would politely tell them to leave, never come back, and tell there church never to send anyone else, if they did, since he already had their information written down, he would call the cops down on them.

Of course then they'd get huffy, which was an open invitation for my cousin to be rude, which he's really good at (Yes, it's in our DNA). The whole thing would devolve from there, but then he would never hear from that church ever again.

[Hamlette]

77. I had some a couple of weeks ago

I usually don't answer the door but for some reason felt like taking them on. I told them I was a proud third generation atheist raising a fourth generation atheist and I thought the entire concept of god to be silly and unnecessary. We talked back and forth for a few minutes and they left.

As I shut the door I realized I was wearing my t-shirt that says: "you're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me". I wonder if they got as big a laugh out of it as I did.

[triguy46]

78. "Sorry, but I'm in the middle of making a batch of meth..."

[ohio_liberal]

79. LOL!

I'm going to have to write some of this stuff down. My neighbor told me she starting speaking in tongues once when they came to her door. Strangely enough that didn't seem to put them off their game.

[MsTryska]

80. I had a friend who used to answer the door

buck ass nekkid.



i believe he scared off quite a few.


i don't know if it works on the LDS (they are mormons right?) but it worked on jehovahs witnesses.

[ozarkvet]

81. By being black

In all seriousness, never had one come to the door.

But I intend to say I'll listen to them, if they'll drink a beer with me.

[izzie]

82. Would they leave you alone if you put up a sign?

Some groups are just to pushy for words.

[ohio_liberal]

88. Maybe...

I'm going to order one of those "no bible beaters" signs that I saw in a link upthread.

[Spider Jerusalem]

83. Last time they came by...

it was in the late afternoon...a friend had come over, and we'd partaken of some medicinal herbs, and we were occupying the couches in my living room. Saw the Mormons in their matching Dilbert outfits (as I think of the short-sleeve buttondown and tie) come to the door, and they probably saw us, but they gave up knocking eventually and went away.

Pity that saying you're Catholic only works on Jehovah's Witnesses...

[dickthegrouch]

92. (At top of lungs) OOOh honey, God sent us a pair of cuties

works for either gender, though I've never had mormon women at my door.

[Ioo]

97. LOL, I agree. Thank God for 2 Hot Young Studs at my Door.

[Cell Whitman]

93. I invite them in and show them this short video clip

from John Safran and ask them where they got their bikes. :7

On the right side scroll down for See John pitch his Mormon film idea

http://www6.sbs.com.au/johnsafranvsgod/index.php?action=download

[Kali]

110. any idea why these won't play for me?

I get an error message saying fromat isn't supported....

[Cell Whitman]

119. No I don't but I am a computer illiterate

I have the fast connect thingie maybe that is the problem?

anywho, I just watched it again and it worked OK.

wish I had a suggestion.

[QC]

96. I just tell them I'm not interested but appreciate them thinking of me.

That's simple enough.

[geomon666]

99. Answer the door completely nude with chocolate smears in various places.

Screaming, "HELP!" as my girlfriend pulls back on the dog collar.

[Mnemosyne]

102. I ask them if they voted for * and

tell them to get off my property when they say yes. Nicely, of course. :evilgrin: After I tell them I'm a Buddhist and not interested in warmongerers.

[anitar1]

105. Try to convert them to another religion. Lol They leave fast. n/t

Actually , they are young and consider this their sacred mission for their church. Naive kids who have no exposure to other ways of thought.

[pelagius]

108. Telling them you're a minister of a different religion...

...gets you on the permanent "no visit" list of the Jehovah's Witnesses. They even give you a little business card that you can write "No JW" on and display near your door. Works like a charm.

Dunno about the Mormons, but they work our neighborhood from time to time (we're about a quarter-mile from a local stakehouse) and we don't get knocks on our door.

[mnhtnbb]

109. Keep your dictionary by the door

bookmarked to the page for "solicitation"

Next time they come, read the definition to them since they're obviously ignorant. Then tell them, in no uncertain terms, they are NOT to come back or you will consider them trespassing and call the police.

Check with your town government also to see whether door to door folks need a permit (they do in our town). If they do, you have them dead to rights.

[cmd]

111. Our dog is our best friend

He's just a little harmless Maltese, but he hates people who come to the door. I pick him up, crack the door and apologize for my "dangerous dog". He gets a treat when they leave.

[blitzen]

113. We invite them to dinner...and tell them we are atheists

Seriously. We've had several pair of Mormon elders over for dinner. Once they know we're not interested in religion, they chill out and we have good conversation. It's actually fascinating learning about the complicated (and very rigid) rules of their mission. These are almost invariably really good guys (Eagle scout types).

[TechBear_Seattle]

114. Some suggestions I've seen and liked

* Answer the door, then turn and shout over your shoulder: "Honey, dinner's here!"

* Answer the door, then turn and shout over your shoulder: "Honey, get my shotgun!"

* Answer the door, then turn and shout over your shoulder: "Kids! Go put the dogs in the front yard, will you?"

* Answer the door nude. If you are shy, wearing just underwear works well, too.


As someone who has studied various religions extensively, I have found that one of the best ways to get them to go away is to invite them and talk about religion. I like to point out various flaws in the beliefs of whoever is my current vict... ah, discussion partner. If I am in a particularly Puckish mood, I will talk up the glories of Satanism and present my discussion parter with a fun variation of Pascal's Wager. I've never had one snakeoil salesman try for repeat business, and I rarely get a repeat try from the same church.


Change the sign at the front of your yard to read, "No soliciting. This includes religion."

As a last resort, disable your door bell and ignore anyone who looks like door-to-door churchbots on your stoop.

[DearAbby]

115. I told them I was an atheist...they avoid me like the plague

When younger, my sister got the idea of eating an alka seltzer and answering the door with all that fizz falling out of her mouth...and yeep, she was barking too.

[ohio_liberal]

133. LOL

I've gotten quite a list of things to do. It could end up being fun. :D

[Vinca]

117. I don't answer the door when they appear.

I know a guy who was a cop and he threatened to arrest them for trespassing. You've got to wonder why they can't do something a little more productive than annoying people.

[damntexdem]

118. If I have time, it's a kick to argue with them.

But I never have time, and tell them so.

[ProgressiveFool]

120. Best rememdy I ever heard

Was to answer the door stark naked and smoking a cigar.

[MissMarple]

121. They don't come back to my house anymore.

:evilgrin:

[JNelson6563]

122. I have read the Book of Mormon

I make one comment and ask one question, they leave and never come back. I'm usually Mormon-free for a couple of years before the next batch of pimply-faced teen-aged "elders" shows up at my door.

Comment: This book makes me think of plagerism, so much like the KJV bible.

Leads right into the question: How come the angel Moroni translated the gold tablets to Joseph Smith in Elizabethan English during the middle of the 19th century?

Good luck and enjoy! :hi:

Julie

[kick_them_hard]

123. Their office is 2 blocks from me

What I do is tell them I read about all religions and have read their view and that I am a strong Catholic and they should understand that if they are strong in their faith and church, then they should know they will never change me so they're wasting their time comeing to my door. I've talked to two guys and mentioned that they were "elders" and was funny they are called elders when they're just starting out. We all chuckled, shook their hands and wished them luck. Havent heard from them since.

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

124. I invite them in for a cup of coffee. N/T

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

127. I tell them that I am a Buddhist Jew and then wish them a beautiful day!

It works all the time.

[Jose Diablo]

132. "No thanks, one wife is plenty for me, try next door" n/t

[cynatnite]

134. I tell them not to come back...

We lived in mormon country and had our fair share. If they didn't listen, I would ask for their ward leader and let them know I will be making a call if they came back. It usually never went that far because telling them works for the most part.

If these people continue, contact their ward leader. If nothing else, you can get in touch with the leaders at the church in Salt Lake City. Sometimes going right to the top will make a difference.

[erinlough]

135. scare the sh*t outta them by,

acting like a crazy person. They once cornered my son, when he was a minor, out in the yard. I came screaming around the back of the house with a hoe in my hand (I was hoeing, not to threaten) and my response to them to get off of my property, leave my son alone and stay away, must have been so strong that they have NEVER stopped again. I don't know how they mark my house, but they must have because they don't show up.

[Spirochete]

137. I tell them I don't have time to talk

because I have to get the house ready for a black mass. Don't know if they actually believe me, but if nothing else, they realize I'm not going to take them seriously, and they mumble "thank you" and shuffle off to the next house.

[expatriate]

138. I made up a sign in Paintshop and posted it on my door

basically stating that if they're here to talk to me about their religion, not to even bother knocking - and to be damn sure they close the gate on their way out (I have two dogs who are not car wise).

Having it on the door didn't work, because they couldn't seem to remember to shut the gate, so now it's laminated, and is on the gate. It has worked like a charm - they don't even come in.

I've also posted my property with No Trespassing signs, and that seems to have helped.

I also can see who is at the door, and if it's two guys with white short-sleeved shirts and ties, I don't even bother to open it. I do not expect anyone but the mailman to knock on my door during the daytime, so there's no reason to open the door to anyone else. If I'm not expecting you, no reason for me to talk to you and interrupt what I'm doing.

I used to open the door and then have to tell them to get lost. These preventative measures, including an automatic closer on the gate, as Mormons seem to find closing a gate far too technically advanced, have made my life literally Mormon free.

[PatriotMom]

139. I would have my Anti-Mormon tracts ready and would invite them....

in to talk about the CULT RELIGION they belonged to. That would do it I would never see them again! I used to live in a little town in Utah, 400 pop and we were the only non-mormons there. I had to bring out the big guns...:rofl:

[Qibing Zero]

141. My idea involves a bit of acting

Answer the door, but say nothing. Point at your ears and your mouth over and over until they 'realize' you're a deafmute. Make sure not to respond to anything. Hand them the sacreligious, eye-opening book of your choice. You win the game!

Idea fails if they know sign language. Shove the book at them and close the door.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

143. Don't need to

Have a doggie that loves to bark his head off at anyone passing in front of the house. Sounds like "I want to tear your head off" but really means "ple-e-ease come play with me." They stop about mid way down the walk, have a little debate, then decide to move along to another house.

[MiniMe]

145. I open the door and let the dogs bark at them, I make no effort to quiet..

them down. Then I point at my ear and shake my head and close the door. The beauty is, I really can't hear what they are saying.

[Solly Mack]

147. I have them thrown out of my gated community

One call and they are escorted out - given a written warning and after the 2nd warning they are barred and subject to arrest.

Considering this is a foreign country - the arrest can mean deportation for many of them - so there goes their "mission"

And I have NO qualms whatsoever about having them arrested. NONE. Not a one.

My "gated community" is a military post and it's against the rules for missionaries to approach anyone that has not invited them...

they can't freely walk around, they can't just stop and talk to people, and they can't just ring door bells.

It's a beautiful thing! AND it applies to ALL religions. YES!!!!!

[lateo]

148. I start singing the "Inquisition" song from "History of the World Part 1"

At the top of my lungs...

[geniph]

149. My cat scared the Mormons off!

I kid you not! See, I have Maine Coons, and one of my boys is a pretty good-sized fellow. He's also the Golden Retriever of catdom - runs to the door to greet everyone. He loves people. So I open the door to find two Mormon boys, and Cappy leaps up on the back of the couch, which is right inside the screen door. The Mormons see this giant cat leap at the door, and they both back hurriedly off the porch. One said, "Is that a CAT?" in an awestruck voice. I said, "Yep, and he hasn't been fed yet today!" smiled, and shut the door.

GOOOOD kitty! :D

[NNN0LHI]

151. I ask them if they are into public nudity. They scurry away n/t

[Sgent]

154. Does anyone else

find some of these responses offensive?

I usually just tell them I'm not interesed, and that's that.

However, these are people who hold deep beliefs -- and unlike many others -- are actually trying to live them out. They are not being hypocrits, but are trying to share with you their "good news". They have in most cases forsaken most worldly possessions for two years, to travel and try to teach people.

I obviously disagree with them, but they are generally good people who are young an not particularly educated. On occassion I've bought a dinner -- or invited them in for dinner, and been grateful to get to know these people.

[cynatnite]

162. And they are usually young kids barely out of high school...

Not only that, the parents or the kids themselves save up for these missions. The LDS church doesn't pay that much for their expenses. Also, they are limited on how many phone calls and letters to and from family and friends.

They certainly don't have it easy at all.

I don't care much for the religion at all, but many of the people we met and became friends with are good decent folks.

We would never treat them with any less than how we would want to be treated ourselves.

[murielm99]

163. See my post below. nt

[last_texas_dem]

169. Yeah

I don't have the strong anti-Mormon sentiments that many on DU and most of the people I've ever discussed religion with seem to have. (And FWIW, I'm an agnostic who has never regularly attended any church.) Partly 'cause several of the nicest people I knew when I was growing up were Mormons. Are some of their beliefs off the wall? Sure, but it's hard to find a religion that *doesn't* have some beliefs that are. In terms of their politics and social views being backwards, sure, but fundamentalist interpretations of religions of all varieties hold these same sorts of views.

Besides, spending two months canvassing for Kerry last year, I have increased respect for anyone willing to go door to door and talk to strangers about something that they believe in. You get to take your share of shit from a variety of people and there's no real reward for it except the positive feeling that you are making a difference.

[kestrel91316]

155. I just smile and tell them I know all about the LDS church because my

g-g-g-grandfather was Bill Hickman, Chief of the Danites, right hand and head assassin and enforcer for Brigham Young and Joe Smith, and involved in the Mountain Meadows Massacre, to boot. That usually shuts them up.

:evilgrin:

[murielm99]

160. The people who sold us our property were Catholic.

The priest blessed this house for them. There is a brass plaque on the front door that says, "Jesus Mary and Joseph Protect Our Home." It has a picture of the Holy Family, and is quite lovely.

We have lived here for twenty-seven years, so we have replaced a few things. We replaced the front door, but put the plaque on the new door. Jehovah's Witnesses don't knock on the front door.

A few years ago, two of them cornered me in the garden. I told them to leave. They kept talking, and I just kept saying "Leave!" They did, and they have never come back.

Mormons came to our house once, a long time ago. My brother was visiting. He insisted that we let them in. He asked them very intelligent questions, in a polite way. He asked them, for instance, about the authority of the prophets, and where their authority stood in relation to the Bible and the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith, Christ, and the Trinity. I can't remember all his questions, but they were very good. The missionaries did not have answers. Before they left, my brother led all four of us in prayer. It was an inspired prayer. He included prayer for heartfelt respect between all God's children in Christ, and respect for boundaries and differences. It was not a disrespectful prayer.

The young Mormons left a copy of the Book of Mormon for us to read. My brother thanked them. They left. No Mormon has ever returned.

My brother lives across the street from an apartment complex. The LDS church rents an apartment in the building for missionaries. He says they eat all their meals at the homes of church members, and never cook. He says they must have a cookie-cutter for the missionaries they send. When they come to his house, he talks to them, and prays with them. He has shared birthday cake and other treats with them. They won't give up on him, but none of them have ever been able to answer his polite, pointed questions with any adequacy.

I wonder, as he does, if any of the young LDS people ever come back from a mission questioning their faith. They all seem so naive. Do they encounter anything outside their communities that changes them?

[cynatnite]

164. Interesting...

My understanding is that they have required studies they are supposed to complete while they are on their missions. I do think some wind up questioning their faith upon being exposed to other ideas.

They are very naive for the most part. A good friend of mine, who was mormon, was one of the most naive girls I had ever met. She was also one of the nicest. She was 22 when she married and still a virgin. She grew up in a very reserved and conservative environment.

I do think it's wonderful that at the very least they come away with questions and hopefully they may have pursued it afterwards.

I really like the way you and your family deal with them.

[KBlagburn]

165. Young Ladies cannot be missionaries in the LDS church

I highly recommend reading "Kingdom of the Cults" by Walter Martin. It is very good reading and helps you understand the root of their beliefs.
For example, there is alot in the "Book of Mormon" that directly contradicts the bible. And not one of their core beliefs can be found there. ALL of there core beliefs are rooted in Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

"How to answer a Mormon" by Robery Morey is also good reading.

You would be VERY suprised to find out just what their core beliefs really are. They are so extreme that alot of thier own membership doesnt know what the church actually believes and teaches.

There most basic belief, other than Joseph Smith, is that the world was created by the God's and that we all may attain Godhood. Smith even went so far as to actually rewrite part of the Bible. But thier very downfall is that Brigham Young actually stated that the foundation of the mormon church was not Christ but Joseph Smith. And that my friends is not a christian faith.

There "missionaries", all young men, must do this to attain priesthood,(which women cannot hold) and the church does not support them. Their families must pay the church so that these young men may be missionaries for the church.

[ErisFiveFingers]

170. Without getting too deep into religious debate....

I don't want to get into "right" or "wrong" about belief, as I'm not here to convert, or be converted. However, it seems that you've been fed some bad, or misleading, information, about the faith, along with some interesting sparkles of truth.

Some minor corrections, from an LDS perspective:

1. Young women *do* go on missions, it's just not considered as compulsory as it is for young men. They are known as "Sisters", male missionaries are "Elders".
2. Yes, there are apparent contradictions between the BoM and the Bible. Of course, there are apparent contradictions between the OT and the NT, apparent contradictions in the OT with the OT, and apparent contradictions in the NT with the NT. Faith is not always about every word seeming logical on the surface.
3. Their belief in a church constructed around lay (unpaid, non-career) clergy, with 12 teachers/apostles centered around an unpaid living prophet, comes to mind as an example of portions of their faith found in the bible, and almost totally absent from many current modern christain faiths. Same with their belief of christ praying to, and beseeching, God (a separate entity), rather than praying to himself (the same entity).
4. The "core beliefs" that shock many outsiders are revealed to anybody who has a temple endowment. I must admit, since I was raised LDS, I was shocked by many *other* faiths growing up, so I suppose it's really a matter of what a person is accustomed to.
5. No, the world was not created by "the Gods", it was created by the members of the Godhead. This is part of temple rituals. Here's the *really* short version: God told Jesus and angels to go down and build the earth. This does contradict with the two existing (and already) contradictory versions of Genesis (El/YHWH as the sole creator), which do not even agree on what was built, and when.
6. Yes, in LDS faith, we are all capable of becoming Gods, and Elohim/YHWH (old testament names for god) was once mortal, on a different planet, possibly even in another universe. In buddhism (a totally unrelated faith), we are all capable of transcendence. This is different from many variants of christian faiths that state that mankind is "born bad" (original sin) and can never achieve a higher destiny.
7. Smith, like many others, sought to put together a Bible translation more in line with his beliefs. Of course, a trip to any good bookstore will reveal a plethora of Bible variations with entire books altered, chapters added and removed, and completely different words used.
8. As far as Smith being the rock that the modern church was built upon, I believe Christ himself said something quite similar once. I'm not sure you could call Christ "not ... christian" for his statements. The church itself is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints", and (to my displeasure) considers churches which do not name themselves after Christ to not be Christian. I don't consider it very polite to tell people whether or not they can describe their religion in one way or another.
9. Missionary work by men is definitely not required to attain priesthood. Priesthood starts in adolescence for those born into the church, and converts can move the the ranks without ever having been on a mission.
10. True, women are not part of the priesthood, as in many christian faiths.
11. I have no idea why you think that missionaries are not supported by the church, or why their families are "obligated" to pay for them.

Like any faith, it can be "spun". Wikipedia has a good balance:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter-day_Saints

[cynatnite]

180. The missions are supported by the church...just not financially...

Many of the families I knew who sent their kids off on missions had to bear the financial burden of it. We knew some that would have sales, hold down jobs and do other things to save up the money for it.

The LDS church may offer limited financial assistance, but in the end the families flipped most of the bill.

[Momgonepostal]

190. That is not true

I'm a woman and served a full-time mission for the LDS church.

The rest of your "facts" are also off base.

[LittleClarkie]

167. I have a friend who has a collection of swards

(D&D players, dontcha know)

He has threatened to bring one to the door and just say in a deep voice while brandishing it in front of him "Get. Out."

I have another friend who engaged a Jehovah Witness for three hours in conversation. He reckons he's been stricken from the list, lines drawn through his name, stars next to it, saying "Don't go there!" He says he confused them no end.

[goodboy]

168. IF YOU DO THIS, THEY WILL NEVER COME BACK>>>>>

The LDS, and Jehovah's Witnesses ALWAYS travel in pairs when going door to door for safety reasons.

Point to ONE of them and say:

"Ok, you can come in, but your friend has to stay outside."

They won't be back.

Trust me.

[baron j]

171. I try to be polite. My best friend in high school was from a Mormon

family, but only went along with the motions of going to church in the morning, and what not, to keep his parents out of his hair. His mother had signed on as a host family for missionaries; they usually came once a week to eat dinner. On a few occasions, I joined them at dinner. The kids I met through the years were pretty cool, and it seemed like they were pressured into going on a mission. None of them seemed to fervently believe in what they were preaching. Funny thing was, when they rang my doorbell, and then realized I lived there, they eased up, exclaimed, "Hey! It's just you", as if they were happy they didn't have to perform their dialogue, and just asked for something to drink (it was boiling in the heat of a Georgian summer, and I felt sorry for them in their monkey suits, so I share some lemonade and let them chill in the a/c for a few minutes before heading out).

My friend's family wasn't quite as stuffy as Mormon families I met in Arizona, so their home was tempting to the missionaries. I distinctly recall one of the guys playing with a plastic, Halloween Freddy Krueger glove they had around the house in October--probably a no-no. I'm sure it sucked not getting to join in on the holiday fun, or having to avoid tv and the radio when you are a teen or an early twenty-something.

All of these missionaries were just teens pressured--or forced--into it, so I don't believe they deserve ill treatment. A simple, firm, "Oh, sorry, no thanks" should suffice.

[AztecGringo]

172. I Kick them in the BALLS

Actually, as I do with anyone who approaches me to save me, I curtly tell them that since religious beliefs are personal I am not interested in sharing mine with them and that I expect the same in return. If that doesn't work, I tell them to fuck off...

GET YOUR CRUCIFIXION ACTION FIGURES NOW !!!!

[GliderGuider]

173. I just put one of these on my mailbox

They're avilable from evolvefish.com. I'll see if it works, but it's funny even if it doesn't.

[LWolf]

176. When I lived in town I dealt with them the easy way.

A fence, and a dog. I had a fence around the perimeter of my little place; you had to open a gate to get into the front yard. Many people didn't see that as an impediment; they opened the gate and walked right in. It always made me wonder if my front door was any kind of a signal to knock and get permission before walking into my house.

I got a dog. She loved to stand out at the gate and bark at anyone approaching. There was no sidewalk, it wasn't a "neighborhood," and there was no place to walk to just going by, so if anyone was out there, chances are they were looking for me. They won't cross a barking dog, even one as sweet as my girl.

Before the dog, I scared off the JWs permanently by telling them I didn't have time to talk to them now; I had to break into the house. I'd gotten locked out, and they showed up while I was applying a crowbar to force open a window that was painted shut.

[greekspeak]

177. Funny story...I when I tell them I study religion professionally, the run!

This is the truth, too. I am in my 3rd year as a PhD student in religion. The last time I got LDS-ed I was on campus trying to get to a class. I left the library, and these two cute young LDSer guys decided to flock to me. I must say that they were easy to spot as LDSers as they had on the uniform--white shirt, black tie.

Of course, they started out just trying to glad hand me. Just random talk, trying to be my bud, acting all masculine like. The posturing was really precious. I am pretty sure they both had some sugar in them.

Anyhoo, they did their little act, and got to where they asked me what I was studying. I told them I was studying religion and going for my PhD. By 10 seconds later, they were off like a prom dress in the backseat of Daddy's Olds. They knew I would call bullshit on whatever they would sell me. Off to the next victim.

[Bridget Burke]

178. Here's how I deal with ANY door to door folks.

1) Check them out through the window. I live in a pretty save neighborhood, but try not to be foolish.

2) If they are definitely selling something, I usually open the door, leaving the screen door latched, & vigorously shake my head. Then close the door.

3) If they look "safe" I open the door & see what they want. If they are Jehovah's Witnesses, etc., I simply say I'm not interested. Then close the door.

Why even open the door to strangers? If you do, is "No, thanks" too difficult to say?

Why try to be cute?

[dogday]

179. I tell them to come back Latter in the day..................nt

[leesa]

181. I say Not interested and shut the door.

They ARE soliciting just like any sales guy.

[mtnsnake]

182. Have some fun. Ask them who they voted for and why.

Ask them if they're comfortable with Bush running the show. Turn the tables.

[noonwitch]

183. I tell them that I have a church, but thank you for stopping by

They, like the Jehovah's Witnesses, are always very nice people. I just don't want to join their churches.

[Zhade]

185. First I joined them, then I repudiated their cult.

(It's a long story, and I wasn't thinking clearly at the time I joined.)

[blindpig]

186. I answer the door with a live snake in hand...

and talk about the old gods. Works for Jehovahs and rethug pols too.

Have not had a chance to do it since we left the old house but it sure was fun.

[karynnj]

187. Tell them I only pray in a language Jesus knew

It's not true - I'm a reconstructionist Jew and many prayers are in English.

[SiouxJ]

188. They came to my door today too; second time in two weeks

I usually just say, "not interested, thank you," and close the door. If it keeps up though, I'll put a small sign up telling them not to disturb me if they are selling their religion.

[notadmblnd]

192. Get a copy of "The Godmakers" from a christian book store

It is an anti LDS video, take them into your livingroom and turn it on when they arrive. They will leave post haste... I guarantee!

[kohodog]

193. My 21 year old son answered the door

And invited them in. I was upstairs and didn'6 come down. He had canvassed all summer for enviromental causes and talked to them for a few minutes and then offered them a beer.

They said no thanks and left without saying anything about their mission. I wouldn't have answered the door, but I thought what he did was pretty cool, a weird sort of win/win.

[Swamp Rat]

194. Since they do not understand English (re: my "no soliciting" sign),

I usually just speak to them in different languages until they leave. :)

Oh, if that doesn't work or they become belligerent, I recommend soaking them with a water hose. It really works! :D

[Hardrada]

195. I wish there were an atheist sign I could put up.

This faith stuff is so meaningless to me that I wish there were some way to politely convey this to any religious agents. Actually Buddhism is non-theistic so perhaps if I put a huge Buddha in the front yard!

[MODemocrat]

196. I have a "beware of dog" sign in my yard

and it's for real. My little dog is not stranger friendly. Once in a while someone will make it to my front door while my dog is inside, but they leave as soon as they hear him barking and raising cain. I don't like for my privacy to be invaded, particularly with religious people.
My beliefs are my business, and if I want anything different, I'll seek it out myself.