This is my ideal future anti-terrorist speech I want to hear someday

[noahmijo]

Just a rough outline but it goes something like this

Hello leaders of middle eastern nations. This is primarily directed to leaders of such nations like Saudia Arabia and Iran.

We have just finalized development of X alternative energy and we will not be needing your oil any longer.

We will immediately cease the spending of 100's of billions of dollars to protect your crooked terrorist sponsoring nations.

We are going to immediately close all bases in the middle east and bring our troops home to US Soil where they belong.

Although this was our policy since the 50's we have finally developed an alternative energy form, and we have thrown every last REPUBLICAN oil crony in Oz for treason and RICO violations.

If you'd like we'd be happy to send them to you because a prison sentence in Saudia Arabia is just the punishment these bastards deserve, but alas unfortunately since this is America we believe in due process, even for those who would take away every last civil liberty we have.


Thanks for listening, and Iran we know it's largely our fault you went nuts and installed a crazed religious extremist for your leader, and Iraq.......words can't speak of how terrible those of us who knew from day one the truth feel.....We hope eventually our sins will be bettered through efforts by us and the international community to rebuild your battered nation and hopefully in the end something positive can come of it.

Well that is all thanks for listening, oh yea and Hugo we're sending Pat on a plane over to you asap.

~N~

[niallmac]

1. Which Gate will Pat be arriving at?

Sincerely:
Hugo

[noahmijo]

2. Tell ya what ol buddy what's your lucky number?

Oh and don't forget lots of leg irons ;)

And if you can swing for the Hannibal type outfit that'd make for great tv.

[niallmac]

3. Sorry. We don't do Hannibal here.

He will be issued a bowl of fruit, a hot glue gun and two 'chip clips'.

[noahmijo]

4. Ah okay say small favor

Would you mind by any chance televising the moment where your men make him pee himself? we'll turn it into a pay-per-view special.

Also would you object to the idea of one of our cable tv shows that do skits possibly portraying you and Pat on Oprah's show, with the great Mencia playing you, and essentially you'd be portrayed making Robertson squirm and wiggle when he's met face to face with you.

C'mon babe! you gotta see the potential here!

[niallmac]

5. Face to face?

That could spoil my whole day.
I have to sleep on it. For now he has to watch
Ann Coulter interviews 24/7.
Pay per view....hmmm.