Disturbing story from my daughter's High School

[Horse with no Name]

My daughter has what they call a "zero" hour class--basically it is a class that starts at 7 instead of 8.
She and a friend were walking by the auditorium this morning, and saw what appeared to be a Halloween prank.
There was a noose hanging from the rafters on the stage with a ladder under it.
They just kind of laughed and went on to class.
Before the class started...they asked the teacher if she had seen the auditorium. She said she had seen another student in there and chased him out of the auditorium because he didn't have any business there.
They then told her what they saw and the teacher ran out of the classroom. The noose was still there but the student was nowhere to be found.
The students grandfather showed up at the school...the kids thought the school had called them...but he apparently had found a suicide note the student left before he went to school, stating that he was going to "go out in style".
The police came in and questioned my daughter and her friend about what they saw.
This kid is on several depression meds. I know that several of them carry the risk of suicide as a side effect.
Nobody could see this coming---right?
Well my daughter continues.
Apparently on Thursday...another student saw this kids computer.
He had filmed a home movie of himself wearing a cheerleader outfit and "pretending" to cut himself.
So...the student reported it.
So on Friday, the school does a "random" check on this student's laptop (part of the agreement parents sign).
They find this movie.
So this child's cry for help is caught--right?
Wrong.
Apparently the school in it's infinite wisdom decides to send the child to alternative school for inappropriate material on his computer.
WTF?
Obviously any first year psych student could tell you from his film that this child was having an identity crisis with idealations of hurting himself.
They suspended him yesterday and his alternative education was to start today. I am supposing this was HIS response to that idea.
I don't know what ended up happening...I just hope that this child finds the helps he really needs.
Say a prayer or good thought for this child tonight. I know I will.

[FreedomAngel82]

1. Poor kid

:( I hope he gets help too. :(

[LynneSin]

2. I hate to think of what anti-depresants he was on

more and more we're finding that anti-depressants are causing more problems then they are worth.

[buddysmellgood]

6. Is there some sort of control group whereby depressed kids on placebo

commit suicide less than kids that take the antidepressants?

[Straight Shooter]

3. Sometimes it's damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I prefer to err on the side of caution. No way on earth would I have not tried to find out exactly what this young man was going through. Kids usually send all kinds of signals before a final act of desperation. I think he probably intended to hang himself for everyone in the school to see. *shudder*

I will send many good thoughts for this young man. Thank you for sharing, and I apologize if my response is somewhat inarticulate. I'm tired, and the story of this young man brings back bad memories of what happened in my high school when a depressed student did in fact hang himself.

[Horse with no Name]

8. I totally agree

But damn..when a young man puts on a cheerleading dress and starts cutting himself...I can't believe that they didn't send him to Terrell on the first bus out.
There is obviously a disconnect.
My daughter was shaken up after the fact...knowing full well that if that teacher had not gone by the auditorium first...that they would have seen this boy hanging from the rafters.
I'm sorry you had to see something like that as a student.
Those things never go away. We had a classmate shoot himself at home during lunch hour...and I can still remember that almost 30 years later.:cry:

[Straight Shooter]

11. I communicated the information poorly, sorry.

The students did not witness it. The boy did it at home. But the memory bothers me to this day, and I'm sure my fellow students. He was a very nice young man, and of all things, an only child. Can't even begin to imagine his parents' grief.

You're absolutely right about how wrong they were to misinterpret this young man. Cheerleaders are some of the most popular kids in school, usually. By putting on a cheerleading dress, maybe he was sending some sort of signal that he felt left out, unpopular? :shrug:

[madmax]

4. Damn that's terrible.

I hope his Grandfather gets him some help. The school seems to be useless. Prayers for this young man.

[CoffeeCat]

5. That's heartbreaking...

...this child need help, compassion and understanding.

He doesn't need to be labeled a problem child and sent to a special school.

That is such total bullshit.

What is wrong with schools today? Are they so sterile that they can't listen to a child and tell him that he's not weird or strange, and that he's going to be ok? Couldn't someone at that school sit with him for a half hour and tell him that everyone feels depressed, overwhelmed and confused at times?

No, the ship him off to the school for the problem children--where they are treated as problems to be controlled.

[brainshrub]

7. Poor kid.

So sad.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. Nice "not my problem" attitude from the school district

[nosmokes]

10. good luck to this young man.

i hope the alternative school has some help for him?

[in_cog_ni_to]

12. Oh man, that is a suicide waiting to happen. He needs help.

Why won't a school social worker intervene? How sad. :cry: He needs some hugs :hug: and some ears to listen to him.

[niyad]

13. prayers indeed, for this troubled young man--and prayers, too, that those

in charge get some sense, and that they learn to listen to the children who are crying out for help, for someone to notice them. I hope, too, that your daughter is going to be okay, and kudos to her for caring enough to point out something strange to the teacher.

I am appalled that this school district seems to think it is appropriate to send a clearly disturbed individual to a school that is apparently set up to deal with other kinds of problems. time to look at the school board, perhaps? talk to the superintendent? how unbelievably sad.

[undergroundpanther]

14. I hope

If this kid is transgender,It is torment to be the wrong gender ,it can be a big risk of self har/suicide medications will not'fix'until you come to terms with it and experince the gender issues and see who you are or switch genders,. I hope the family is NOT Christians..I hope that he finds a place for real help and peers who accept him/her as she is.

[Horse with no Name]

16. I couldn't say about that, however,

my daughter--when explaining about the movie and him wearing a cheerleader dress--said this boy was gay.
For some reason...this subject has never come up in discussion...but had to explain to her that gay men didn't wear dresses...that was something else altogether.
This is a veryyy small town--so these types of issues are not at the forefront.
However, I don't think his family is rabid right, but am almost sure that being raised by his grandfather that this won't be handled as well as it should (not saying grandparents can't do it--you would just have to understand the elderly in THIS town).

[undergroundpanther]

19. I sent you something,check yer inbox

[spacelady]

15. Treating this young man like a criminal rather than someone who needs

psychiatric intervention is utterly ludicrous; he is sending out strong signals. Many times a young person will commit suicide & all you hear is he/she was an honor student, there were no warnings, they had no idea, etc. Well this kid IS asking for help before the final tragedy. The fact that fellow students cared enough to let adults know what is going on is invalidated by the school's CYA reaction.
Lose/lose situation for all.

[1monster]

17. I'm glad that he was not able to carry out his intentions. An eleven or

twelve year old boy from my son's school hanged himself this past weekend.

He apparantly gave away all of his possessions to his friends in the days before he killed himself. He told his friends that he was giving away his things and that he "wouldn't be here on Monday."

The mother of one of his friends came to school on Monday to return what the kid had given her son -- it was too much and too expensive, she said -- and learned then that the boy was dead.

Cries for help from kids that young are too often unheard, perhaps, because no one really expects kids to kill themselves.

I'm sure there will be a lot of second guessing and wondering why. We didn't know the kid, but we are asking...

[Horse with no Name]

18. Oh my goodness

How horrible.:cry::hug:

[Blue Diadem]

20. Their cries for help go unanswered quite often

My 6 yr old granddaughter recently found a teenaged boy hanging at her other Grandparent's property. He'd been there for nearly 2 days. She was with her Dad and alerted him to the boy. My daughter and former Sil tried to get her into the counselor at school but they never returned their calls, so they went through the pediatrician for a referral. It's been a few weeks now, she doesn't talk about it much but her first week was really bad.

All we know is that the boy made a call that night and said he was suicidal. A girl had broken up with him and he was in a physical altercation with a guy. The police traced his call to a location outside of town but yet didn't tell the neighboring farm to be on the alert. I know my former Sil and his entire family would have searched their property if they had known.

What happened to that boy at your daughter's school, I think happens way too often. It's almost unbearable to think that people can miss such obvious signs of distress. I'll be praying for him. I hope someone..anyone gets him the help he needs.

[Horse with no Name]

24. Goodness.

I guess this scenario--from reading this thread--isn't that uncommon unfortunately.
After 2 days hanging--I can't imagine the horror of what your granddaughter saw. Poor baby.
It will be a tough road for her for a while.

[Blue Diadem]

25. Her Dad's having a rough time

Of all the things he'd seen as a former fireman and emt, this one has gotten to him. My granddaughter luckily only saw the back side of the boy.

It's just so sad there are so many young people in such awful pain that they feel suicide is the only way out.

[koopie57]

21. my experience with the school was different

I got a call one morning about my daughter. It was her counselor and some students had gone to her and told her they were concerned for my daughter cuz she was talking about suicide and cutting herself. She wanted to talk to me so I went up to the school. She was concerned, but not over-reactive which helped me cope better. I went home and scheduled appointments with a counselor and a doctor and things have never been the same since. And I'll end here so as not to start to ramble. But, one thing I do know, is that it is terrifying and I can understand how people can become blind to the problem. The reactions, for me at least, ran the gammet from scared out of my wits to anger at having to deal with it, wondering what could have happened, wondering what will happen, wondering if I'm doing the right thing, knowing that I knew something was wrong, but told myself I was being overly protective .... somewhat a festival of guilt. But her school was supportive and did their best to provide what we needed. I know there are many bad experiences with schools out there, but there are also really very good, strong professionals working for the students too. I guess she might have saved my daughters life. I don't know. I just don't know.

[Horse with no Name]

23. as a nurse

they teach that people who generally are suicidal will give signals--whether it is talking about it...getting affairs in order, etc.
There will be signs.
One OLD school of thought used to be that people who were serious didn't talk about it...that you didn't mention it because it would give someone "ideas", etc.
However, we are taught to ask the questions--"Are you going to hurt yourself?" Most of the time...people that are serious will either say they don't know or yes.
From your situation...if your daughter was talking about it, chances are it was on her mind--at least at that point in time.
I'm glad the school called you, but I can only imagine that it is a difficult road to navigate.
:hug:

[koopie57]

26. oh yes, thank you

my son's girlfriend called up and told him she was thinking about suicide. He freaked out and demanded to go to her home. I calmed him down and drove him to her house but cuz her parents were jerks we needed to make a plan. He decided that if the worse case senario came to be he would say he needed to get his cell phone that he left in her room.

I let them talk and waited in the dark. To my surprise they came over to me and talked. I touched her shoulder and she was cold and clammy, unusual for the temp at that time. I asked her if I could talk to her mom, she said no. I asked her if I could call someone for her, she said no. I asked her if she would promise me that she would not hurt herself that night. She promised me that she would be fine. I told my son that every day he needed to make her promise.

I guess that there are many who know this is right, this is wrong, this is good, this is bad, but until you are in the situation, you have no idea. Each person, each said child is so different. And some you can help, some are so far gone that you can't. All you can do is your best. And no one should be criticized for trying.

[Tsiyu]

22. We can say that kids have always had it tough

and our young people are no exception.

Quite a few in the latest generation coming of age have known many material comforts and precious few human ones.