The clock is running. Seven years or less remaining until the Apocalypse.

[tk2kewl]

Some See The End of Days

Tsunamis, hurricanes, earthquakes...

BY CAROL EISENBERG
NEWSDAY STAFF WRITER

October 13, 2005

EVERY morning, the Rev. Micheal Mitchell prays that if today is the beginning of the end of the world as we know it, he will be ready.

<snip>

Mitchell's belief that he is watching biblical prophecy unfold in the form of modern-day famines, floods and earthquakes has grown increasingly urgent. What with a cataclysmic earthquake swallowing whole villages in South Asia, coming on the heels of a killer tsunami and hurricanes that flooded the Gulf Coast and brought lethal mud slides to Guatemala, apocalyptic anxiety is running extraordinarily high - among believers and nonbelievers alike.

<snip>

"A lot of people are watching the Rapture Index very carefully right now," said Stephen O'Leary, an expert on apocalypticism at the University of Southern California, referring to a Web site that purports to offer a statistical gauge of the approach of the moment that Christians believe Jesus will remove the faithful from Earth.

<snip>

The Web site, www.raptureready.com/rap2.html, currently registers 161. Anything higher than 145 means "fasten your seat belts," according to the legend.

<snip>

Mitchell, like many Pentecostals and charismatics, believes the seven years of calamities leading to Armageddon - the battle in which Jesus will defeat the Anti-Christ - may already have begun. Now, he said, he gets almost daily questions from congregants about how current events may reflect those prophecies.

"Someone in our men's group asked whether I thought the earthquake in Asia was a sign of the coming of the Lord," he said. "I told him that I believe that that is exactly what's taking place."

more...

[calico1]

1. Well it better not be!

I hope to retire in 7 years. That would suck!:silly:

[tk2kewl]

3. It will be quite a retirement party then.

:P

[acmejack]

10. Murphey's law calico1

I suggest that the end of the world will probably suck no matter when/if it happens.

[calico1]

23. No doubt, but I'd like a few years to enjoy

before the end. :-)

[mccoyn]

24. Actually thats a good thing.

Do you want a bunch of fundamentalists around while you are enjoying your retirement? I for one look forward to losing them.

[elehhhhna]

2. Why is his God SUCH AN ASSHOLE?

[mattclearing]

22. God just set the wheels in motion.

It's the people that claim to work for him that fuck it all up.

[elehhhhna]

26. HIM? lol You are confused.

wink

[true_notes]

4. ****Yawn*****

I remember when I was a kid, these same greasy bastards were talking about the southeast sinking in a tidal wave by 2000...hell it's still there, a bit battered albeit.

They're trying to chime people's fear for profit. I dont' pay any attention to these evil bastards.

[VaYallaDawg]

5. The Rapture Index already!!!

I mean, I didn't know they actually measured craziness on a scale of some kind!

[tk2kewl]

6. ... AKA IQ Inverse

[Ilsa]

7. So why aren't these bastards giving away their earthly goods,

if they think it's almost over? Won't that generosity play well with their beliefs? Not following through on that is a lack of faith, IMO!

[calico1]

8. Yes, really.

If they are so convinced it will all end soon then why are they investing, buying expenisive cars, houses, possesions. Why are they so in favor of big corporations?

[Tesha]

32. "If you get raptured away, can I have your car?" (NT)

[TechBear_Seattle]

9. "We will all go together, when we go...."

And so with this in mind, I have here a modern, positive, dynamic, uplifting song, in the tradition of the great old revival hymns. This one might more accurately be termed a survival hymn. It goes like this:

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that sooner or'l
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other adjec-
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
(But don't you worry.)

No more ashes, no more sackcloth,
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve.
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There'll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we will all go together when we go.

Rest of lyrics at http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/allgo.htm

[Javaman]

18. Love his Vatican Rag. :)

[McKenzie]

11. wonder if there will be an appeals mechanism

for those "borderline" cases? I mean, it can't be that clear cut can it? Maybe there will simply be a quota system.

[tk2kewl]

12. Have you ever seen "Defending Your Life"?

Hilariously funny! Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep.

http://www.movie-pages.com/movie/defending-your-life/B000056WRG/

[McKenzie]

13. never heard of it before...thanks indeed

maybe I spent too much time playing those records backwards and missed it...heehee

Thanks again

[tk2kewl]

14. I don't think it was much of a box office draw, but I thought it was great

funny and it actually inspired me at the time to be more spontaneous and take some chances

[Loge23]

15. Korash & Jones agree!

Along with every other doomsday nutcase. Cartoonists used to draw a guy that looked like Mr. Natural holding a sign "The End is Near". It was a running gag for decades - not at all taken seriously. Nowadays, these nuts actually run the country!!
Many scientists (not that the nuts listen to them) will tell you that there is no evidence of any more significant natural events now then there was any other period in history.
I will say one thing: If the idiot president is allowed to remain in office for three more years, we may indeed be doomed!

[tk2kewl]

17. they made the sidebar of the print version of this article

[Javaman]

19. We live in tinfoil hat times, my friend.

When nuts are given repect and the intelligent shamed, we live in strange times indeed.

[RobertSeattle]

16. Christianity would be a whole lot better without the Book of Revelations

Stick to the Gospels.

[raccoon]

28. And without the Old Testament. nt

[smirkymonkey]

43. And without Jesus.

Wait, no. Never mind.

[Hubert Flottz]

20. Look for the unmistakable sign!

When the banks demand payment in full, on all outstanding debts, look out!

[rbajai]

21. Oh no - NOT RAPTURE READY!!

Here's a fun one. Go on http://rr-bb.com and say "boo" about *. See how fast you get kicked off. It's FUN!! The admins run that board like * runs America. A fascist pro-Bush Christian board? You have NO IDEA...

[kahleefornia]

25. um....how can you be "ready"

for the end of the world?

Well, I know I'm completely prepared. When the whole planet and every thing on it is destroyed, well, not me buddy - I'm planning on staying, with my canned food and duct tape.

[Javaman]

29. Just think how light traffic will be! :)

[kahleefornia]

30. True.

I'd go live on the beach, in Brad & Jen's old house (it's for sale, you know, but I would expect the price to drop if there were no more people in the world left to bid on it.)

[Javaman]

40. I think Brad and Jen lost their bid at salvation when they divorced...

so you may have to kick them out.

[FlaGranny]

27. Things never change.

At the end of the 19th century, some people were so certain that the end was here that they sold all their belongings or gave them away and went to sit on mountaintops to await the end. I'm not sure how long they waited until they discovered they were duped. Then at the end of the 20th century, the TV preachers were certain it would be the end when 2000 rolled around. I guess they got a little mad about that and are still trying to bring it on.

They are all arrogant in their beliefs, if you ask me. If there were an all powerful God, he wouldn't need their help. He might even smite them for interfering. I wonder if it is not a lack of faith in what they believe in that makes them try to have an effect on the outcome.

[awoke_in_2003]

31. Religion...

opiate of the masses. Dosteovsky brought up the point that religion is nothing but a tool to control the masses. Without the fear of punishment after death, man would be an even wilder beast. To paraphrase "if God did not exist, he would have to be invented".

[pelagius]

33. In 1974 my minister proclaimed from the pulpit...

...that all the signs were in place and he didn't see how the world could last much longer than ten more years. Dumbshit teenager that I was, I thought going to college would be a waste and I should be saving souls for Jesus instead. Fortunately, people talked sense in to me.

Thirty years later, that same preacher is now second-in-command of my former denomination and doing quite well, despite the "end times".

[tk2kewl]

35. i'm glad you had some smart people around to deprogram you

[mtnester]

34. Mayan Calendar end thingy - I am eligible to retire in August of that year

According to these whack jobs and the Mayans, I get to enjoy it for 3.5 months.

What luck.

:banghead:

[tk2kewl]

36. you need to commiserate with calico1

see the 1st reply above ^

[mtnester]

38. Yeah, hubby gets a rub pokin fun about my "retirement months"

maybe calico1 and I should hook up for the big bash

[Toots]

37. The Mayan calandar ends in 2012

The Mayan calandar which is thought to be the most accurate of all ancient cultures mysteriously ends in 2012. Something else to think about...

[spuddonna]

45. That's just cause they used Halliburton as the ink supplier...

Halliburton stopped delivering when the Conquistadors began cracking down on 'insurgents' near Teotihuacan. (The horse routes were too dangerous.) So the staff ran out of ink for the Tzolkin codex, and then after Halliburton employees came in as 'replacement scribes', the original astronomers never got a chance to finish it. It took a long time for the astronomers to even train their Halliburton replacements in the art of the calendar, because they had a really hard time with the Mayan months.

The Halliburton contractors could always remember the first three months, Pop, Uo, and Zip, but after that, they just would make stuff up and overbill their hours... :)

[porphyrian]

39. He's not like all the other apocalypse cultists who were wrong.

This time, it's real.

:eyes:

[Hobarticus]

41. I'm looking forward to God removing the "true believers"...

Maybe we can get some peace and quiet around here.

[LSK]

42. sorry, but F=MA

Mother Nature is science, not science fiction. All this rapture stuff can only come about from nuclear war or global warming.

Too bad we have some many uneducated people in this country.

[Jose Diablo]

44. When they disappear in the rapture

I got dibs on their vacation home and furnishings.