Anderson Cooper - "My brother's death"

[ThingsGottaChange]

What an incredibly moving piece.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/08/16/brother/index.html

[DeepModem Mom]

1. An incredible piece -- thanks for posting this. nt

[rateyes]

2. Thanks for posting this...

heart-breaking, but a story that needed telling.

[Frustratedlady]

3. I hope that some day

Anderson can find peace. Perhaps his coverage of so many tragedies helps take the edge off his own. For a person born into wealth, he sure gets into the middle of messy situations and doesn't seem to mind getting his hands dirty. I'm sure some of it is posed, but I've also seen him grow in this past year, which makes one think he's for real and may someday become an effective reporter.

Let Carter go to the other side, Anderson. You will meet again.

[lonestarnot]

4. Anderson, I'm sorry.

[Skittles]

5. I need his email address

*sniff*

[MuseRider]

11. Me too Skittles

there is nothing quite like losing a brother who either by means of neglect of themselves or quick suicide leave you alone to always wonder why.

[Gemini Cat]

46. Yep.

I know all about this. There is a certain day in November that I will never forget. No matter how many years it's been.
RIP Little Brother.

[AmericanDream]

6. Thanks... that is a very touching piece....

[in_cog_ni_to]

7. Wow. That was a great piece. Sad. Sad. Sad.

Anderson, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Rowdyboy]

8. I had no idea.....Suicide is always a tragedy, in a world filled with.....

sadness it stands out.

[itzamirakul]

9. Does anyone know anything about any of his mother's other

children?

Gloria Vanderbilt was married prior to the Wyatt Cooper marriage and had several children. I read somewhere that upon her divorce from their father, they sided with the dad and she effectively disowned them and has never had anything to do with them since. Anyone know anything about this?

[kskiska]

15. She had children by Leopold Stokowski

Leopold Stanislaus Stokowski, born 1950, and Christopher Stokowski, born 1955.

Her husband was old when she was married to him and died a long time ago. I don't know what the status of her relationship with the children is, though.

[itzamirakul]

20. I neglected to clarify my interest in those children...

because I feel so sorry for Anderson in his loss of a beloved sibling, I couldn't help but feel what better time for some much older but still loving "big brothers."

I am 16 years the senior of my only sibling who is only 2 years older than my DD. I know that I have served as a m ajor loving factor for her following the loss of our parents while my DD has been a sibling-type peer.

I was just trying to find something or someone for him to cure the absolute pain and loneliness he must feel. I guess it would only make ME feel better to know that he had someone to help fill the void.

I don't know why, but I always felt that Carter might have had some kind of terminal illness that resulted in his suicide. Just another guess or musing out of the air....no real reason except that Aids was such a news factor of the time and I lost so many friends and associates in strange, unfathomable ways.

One acquaintance, who happened to be a multi-millionaire, and the head of a major city agency, simply turned in his keys one day, walked out the door and disappeared. This man who seemed to have everything to live for has never been seen or heard from since. His family placed ad after ad in the newspapers for years, finally posting the last which said that they had come to the conclusion that he suffered from a terminal illness and had chosen this manner of dying.

Whaen Anderson says that he can't remember what he and Carter talked about that night in the bedroom, I find it difficult to believe. I think that perhaps the conversation was just to painful to recall or even tell others about.

Tragic deaths like this are so painful and I think we see that hidden pain in Anderson's facial expression. I find him incredibly handsome and yet his vulnerabilty adds to his beauty.

Sixty-one years ago my father fell into a huge tank of over a thousand gallons of acid at the Sherwin Williams paint plant in New Jersey. I was 6 years old but I remember it all as if it was yesterday. It still pains me to think about it or tell about it, and I sometimes have to stand straight up with the pain of remembering how HIS LAST moment must have been as he fell toward the liquid. You really try hard, NOT to think about it. It will be 61 years ago on the 21st of this month. Three days after my birthday. Thank you for letting me share this. I needed to say it one more time.

[Sapphire Blue]

21. ...

:hug:

[smirkymonkey]

22. I am so sorry for your loss - how horrible!

I can't imagine what it must be like to live with that. Thank you for sharing your story. There is a saying that I like: "Pain shared is halved, joy shared is doubled."

[AirmensMom]

24. I'm sorry, itzamirakul.

Thank you for sharing your story. What a tragedy! :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

34. *great big hug*

[renate]

39. Oh, itzamirakul....

I'm so sorry for your loss and for all your years of suffering with those thoughts.

I once went to a lecture by Stephen Levine and his answer to a question from the audience about dealing with a loved one's painful death has really stuck with me. I won't go into the story itself because it's pretty sad and horrible (basically, a loved one's sudden and difficult death like your father's), but he said, very emphatically, "Remember that your loved one only had to go through it once. Every time you think of it, you relive it--you live through it hundreds or thousands of times more than they did."

I won't pretend that your father's death wasn't horrible, but over 61 years, your pain has been greater than his ever was.

[1monster]

18. Little Gloria, Happy at Last....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Vanderbilt

Vanderbilt married Hollywood agent Pasquale DiCicco ("Pat" DiCicco) in 1941; they divorced in 1945. Her second marriage, to conductor Leopold Stokowski on April 21, 1945 produced two sons, Leopold Stanislaus Stokowski (born 1950) and Christopher Stokowski (born 1955); they divorced in October 1955. Her third marriage took place on August 28, 1956 to director Sidney Lumet; they divorced in August 1963. Her final marriage to author Wyatt Emory Cooper took place on 1964, ; they had two sons, Carter Vanderbilt Cooper (1965-1988), and newsman Anderson Cooper (born 1967). She also has had close relationships with the photographer Gordon Parks and the cabaret singer Bobby Short.

[Benhurst]

10. Recommended NT

[Shine]

12. Whew...that was powerful.....

I really feel for him and his family. It's interesting how much his brother's death affected him and his work, too...and how he spoke to the need of continual "movement", like a shark, to keep from feeling his pain. What a sad story. I'm sure writing that piece was cathartic for him.

What is Remembered, Lives.....

[LizW]

13. Beautifully written, and sad

I had no idea.

[xchrom]

14. very moving -- very well done.

[spooky3]

16. Heartbreaking--and Anderson, if you are also trying to convey

some inner turmoil of your own (as the last part of the column suggests), we're listening and please, please, please get help. You saved many lives and reduced suffering in demanding that the country pay attention to what was happening in New Orleans. Please, we need you.

[BrklynLiberal]

17. Heartbreaking.

[ThingsGottaChange]

19. Gloria wrote a book

about Carter's death. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0452278228/qid=1129477591/sr=2-2/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_2/002-6502550-6156020?v=glance&s=books

She had a very troubled life herself. I haven't read it but, I believe I will get it. Should be very insightful.

I truly hope that Anderson does not have the same serious problems his brother did. I would have to guess there is depression and/or other mental illnesses affecting this family. Unfortunately, I know whereof I speak. Hoping that he can cope with this. He is truly an outstanding person.

[Marlie]

23. His book deal

If this is an example of his writing, his book should be a best seller.

[MADem]

29. Gloria was torn to shreds as a child

She was the subject of an intense custody battle as a young girl, between her mother and her aunt (it was all about the family fortune, you see).

She was the original POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL. The story was bigger than OJ, bigger than Natalee, and a topic of conversation around the country.

[AirmensMom]

25. How incredibly sad.

Very moving. Thanks for sharing it.

[Liberty Belle]

26. Thank you for posting this. It struck a chord in me.

I have been "on the ledge" so to speak after suffering a loss too painful for words. Hearing the pain Carter's death still causes, all these years later, to one who loved him gives one pause to reflect.

Moving like a shark without breathing...
What an apt phrase for what one feels when trying to cope with tragedy. May Anderson find some peace.

[ThingsGottaChange]

27. Liberty Belle...

I sincerely hope that you are finding peace, as well. Take care.

[Liberty Belle]

38. Thanks for caring.

Peace is not possible in my situation.
I'd settle for numbness. Some losses can never be gotten over. I have to go on, as there are others who need me, but how do you get over the pain? How do get through each day when you can't keep the tears from flowing?

[OzarkDem]

36. Suicide harms so many

especially the family and friends who are left to pick up the pieces, deal with undeserved guilt and anger.

[Liberty Belle]

37. I know, you're right.

That's what's keeping me going right now. I have so much pain I'd rather just give up, but there are others who depend on me, so I can't.

Thanks for caring.

[stillcool]

44. i know of what you speak...

and have come out on the other side. It is there. The only constant in life is change, and while so much of what we experience becomes us.. time requires us to make peace with ourselves.. gather up our broken pieces, and take a step together. Nothing will ever be the same..nor should it. Every day a new scene on the river of life...you can go to the same place on the rivers edge, at the same time, every day, and you will observe an entirely different scene. Peace to you.....

[Liberty Belle]

47. That's a beautiful analogy. Thanks. Funny...

I went to the ocean today, just sat on the peer and watched the water on a stormy day, and was thinking the same thing. How different the same place looks from the times in the past when I've been to the same place.

I'm working through those stages of grief...getting up to the "anger" part, having been though denial, depression, etc. I don't know if I'll ever get to the "acceptance" part, but maybe someday.

[PittLib]

48. Ah, Liberty Belle ...

I understand what you mean. When I'd feel completely hopeless, I'd only think of my little brothers having to say, "I had a sister once ...". It is a bit dramatic and silly (not something one would likely say), but it always gave me perspective in my moments of irrationality. :hug:

[FreedomAngel82]

28. How sad

:cry: :( Makes you just want to give him a hug. :(

[mzmolly]

30. Heart wrenching story.

Anderson Cooper is such a brilliant reporter/writer. I have immense respect for him.

I found this bit interesting from Gloria Vanderbilt's book on this subject:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0452278228/104-9474455-3851903?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance

But when Vanderbilt finally recalls her son's death - which she believes was the result of a psychotic episode induced by a prescription allergy drug, Proventil ...

http://www.healthsquare.com/newrx/pro1360.htm

Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking albuterol.

More common side effects may include:

Aggression, agitation, allergic reaction, anxiety, back pain, chest pain or discomfort, chills and fever, coordination problems, cough, decreased appetite, depression, difficulty speaking, diabetes, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth and throat, excitement, fluid retention and swelling, flushing, general bodily discomfort, headache, heart palpitations, heartburn, hives, increased appetite, increased blood pressure, increased difficulty breathing, indigestion, irritability, labored breathing, leg cramps, light-headedness, muscle cramps, muscle spasm, nasal inflammation, nausea, nervousness, nightmares, nosebleed, overactivity, rapid heartbeat, rash, respiratory infection or disorder, restlessness, ringing in the ears, shakiness, sleeplessness, slowed movement, stomachache, stuffy nose, sweating, swelling of mouth and throat, taste sensation on inhalation, throat irritation, tooth discoloration, tremors, unusual taste, urinary problems, vomiting, weakness, wheezing...

Not to take the thread off topic, but I find that piece of the story interesting also.

[OzarkDem]

31. IIRC from stories at the time of his death

he also had been abusing drugs for some time. Remember, this was the 1980's, he was a wealthy, priveleged kid in NYC. Like many, many others who experience emotional or psychological problems, he may have been "self-medicating" for years through substance abuse and only made the problem worse.

It doesn't make his situation any less tragic, but may explain why he and his family had a difficult time getting his depression under control.

[mzmolly]

35. So sad. I think that's the case with many/most people who abuse

drugs. "Self medication" that is.

[fleabert]

49. self delete, oops!

[PowerToThePeople]

32. A very sad story. But,

I can not help but see the honor that his brother had. It is my opinion that suicide in some instances shows extreme strength of character. When who see horrors such as Cooper has seen and realize that a majority of our race have little or no care about their fellow human beings, you can either fade away into blissful ignorance and nonchalantness or you can say, "I will no longer stay here and participate in such a cruel life."

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. Very well done

[kryckis]

40. sorry

That was really sad. My mom lost her two younger brothers when I was around 12. One died in a boating accident and the other one commited suicide by fire. My mom never got over that. My grandmother is even worse, she makes up stories that his wife must have offed him.

It never registered when I was younger, but now 10 years later I can feel the impact it had on my whole family.


My thoughts to Anderson Cooper.

[FourStarDemocrat]

42. Welcome to DU kryckis.

Yes it's certainly true that suicide affects the person's family and all loved ones for the rest of their lives. I'm so sorry to hear that your family went through that.

I really feel for Anderson Cooper too, he's a very special person and I wish him peace and lots of happiness and balance in his life.

[ikojo]

41. I've lost a brother to suicide on July 17, 2001

I, too, didn't feel anything at the time. I was numb and also expected him to do it. He had tried once before in December 1993 when he shot himself in his chest, narrowly missing his heart.

I just hope that whereever Jeff is, he has found the peace and tranquility that eluded him in life.

[FourStarDemocrat]

43. Very sorry to hear that..

:hug:

[McCamy Taylor]

45. Very moving piece. Thanks for posting it.